Hi Guys Sorry for the late update!:-) It means so much to me that you guys have been reviewing, it makes my day so much and brings a smile to my face! Well this chapter is dedicated to Peeta in his view, I wanted people to get a sense of where his head is at and his feelings. The song I have set to this chapter is Seether's "Broken". I hope you like this chapter and enjoy it, there will be more to come!
All rights reserved to Suzanne Collins who create this series.
Peeta POV:
I wake from my slumber on the lounge downstairs. I daren't go to the bedroom as it just seems to empty, without Kat I can't sleep, in fact sleeping is the worst part of my day, when I wake she is not there, I awake to coldness and at night I feel her side, cold and empty. My nightmares seem to come back, Kat was the only one to make them go away, I hop off the lounge, it's 5:15am, I dress in my bakers outfit today except wear a long sleeve v-neck for the oncoming cold outside, once I leave her breads on her doorstep with a note I'll make my way to the bakery. I know my assistant manager will be opening, thankfully my team has not made me feel any worse than I already do. I know they have been talking about it, hell the entire town has been talking about it, but I don't care, I just miss her. I walk to the kitchen and start on making her more bread, I'm thinking of adding a croissant today too, when I hear a knock at the door. I quickly run to the door to see if it's her, maybe she will take me back, when I realise the knock is too heavy for hers. I open to find a bleary eyed Haymitch, he drags himself and walks past me not saying a word, he rests his bottle on the fireplace mantle, thankfully its out.
"Hey Haymitch" he looks at me, his hand resting on the mantel piece as he stares at me with no emotion. "Listen kid why don't you have a seat ok" I'm worried all of a sudden but think nothing of it, Haymitch has been the only shoulder to lean on, though he did hit me in the face the first time I told him what I did to Kat. Haymitch will never admit it, pride I believe but he loves Katniss as the daughter he never had, he acted so cool when Katniss asked him to walk her down the aisle, but I swear I saw him wipe his eyes a couple of times. I rush off to make bread for Katniss, since Haymitch told me Katniss looked thinner, I've been wanting to make sure Katniss eats, she doesn't know it but when I drop off the bread I watch the house through my blinds till she opens the door to pick it up, just to get a glimpse of her.
"I'm sorry Haymitch, but I really do need to make Katniss some more bread ok I wanna make sure she's eating over there" I start to walk over to the kitchen "Peeta's just take a sec and listen to me" Haymitch follows me while I get the ingredients running around the kitchen.
"I can't Haymitch ok I really need to get this done" my God I feel like a wreck without enough sleep, I'm about to make the croissants when Haymitch makes me stop "she's gone Peeta" I look up at him "what to the woods again? Ok well I'll have a look in the woods again with some bread for her, hopefully I can find the cabin this time" I say throwing the towel over my shoulder. Haymitch takes a sigh "No Peeta I mean she's gone" I look at him, not understanding what he meant "what are you saying Haymitch?"
He stands in the doorway to the kitchen, leaning on the archway. "I mean boy, she's gone, she packed her bags and left for the train station, she's leaving District 12 to breathe" Haymitch says, I don't what was harder to hear, Katniss saying she hated me and how I ripped out her heart or Haymitch telling me she's leaving me. I look at him stone faced, shocked, sick, I feel the knot in my stomach getting tighter and tighter rising up to my chest and my heart beating harder and harder and faster and faster. "No, she's" I take a hard gulp "she goes to the cabin, to" I feel the hard sobs coming through, I try to choke them back along with my tears but it works to no avail
"Boy I tried to talk to her, but she made her decision, she had it set, she packed her bags and wanted to go, you know what's she like , Peeta, she's as stubborn as a mule, she's gone Peeta, let her go, she will come back but she needs to be away from this" He says
"No, no, I can't I just can't, I've lost everything in life Haymitch, I'm not gonna lose her too!" I quickly grab my jacket an shoes and run out into the freezing cold, I run as fast as I can with my artificial leg, I look at my watch 5:48, dammit! I run as fast as my artificial leg will take me as I get to the train station to stop her, I know if she leaves, I'm dead, I don't want to live. Shooting pains extend all the way up my calves and the air hurts my lungs with each breath, I look on the station to see Rory watching and waiting. I start to call out her name when Rory see's me, his tall stature overshadows me but I don't care, I've lost so much I have nothing else to lose. He tries to hold me back as I try to push him aside "dammit it Mellark haven't you caused her enough pain! Let her go, you want to save what's ever left of your crumbling marriage then let her go!" Rory shouts in my face, I push past as him as I see the train start to move, I look through the windows to get one glimpse of her, to have her hear me say what I need to say, how I love her, please don't leave me! I race on the station to see her when finally my fleeting glance quickly catches her, what have I done to her? I see that little sparkle has left her, her face is pale and gaunt, the only colour present is the red in her eyes from all the crying, I scream to her through the window racing the train to keep up with it, I try in vain to stay ahead of the train before it passes me as well as my future and wife. I collapse to the ground, I cry out, the sound of a wounded animal, the tears burn my eyes and I feel my heart explode, the woman I love is gone, and there's no one else to blame but myself.
I sit on my knees on the train station, I let time pass, I stare at the cold ground not caring who saw, the tears fall freely as I sit in silence listening to the cold air, my knees ache on the cold ground but I don't care, it's nothing compared to the ache in my heart. After what seems like an eternity, I finally remove myself from the ground and begin the slow agonizing walk back to my house, I walk staring at the ground feeling numb, lost and as if someone just removed my heart.
I slowly make my way back to Victors Village and open the door to my home letting myself in, I stand there in silence with my back to the door in the foyer, I slowly go into the lounge room. I have a headache from the crying and my eyes are puffy and sore, I look around the house and see the room, pictures of Katniss everywhere, even though this was my second home used for baking and storing my paintings, I still like to be reminded of Katniss. The walls are adorned with Katniss, pictures of our wedding day, we were so happy, carefree and smiling, it was the beginning of our lives, our happy lives, free from the chaos that had been embedded in our past lives. I stare at the walls, silence all around, I pick up a picture of me kissing Katniss on the cheek as she stares at the camera smiling, before I know it my tears of sadness are replaced by tears of anger, I did this, I destroyed this happiness, after everything we had overcome, the suffering and pain, the rebellion, we finally achieved our happy ending before I destroyed it by one stupid mistake. Before I know it I'm throwing the picture frame across the room and up turning the chair, I smash the ornaments and picture frames of us on the mantel piece and smash a chair against the living room table, I'm screaming in anger and punching the walls in anger repeatedly not caring who can hear.
Before I know it my knuckles are cut and bleeding and I'm exhausted and crying in pain, I collapse on the ground, my sobs breaking through as I look on at the destruction, my lounge room resembles my life at this point; broken into pieces, smashed beyond repair and distant memories of a happier time. I look around my room in silence before noticing the smashed picture frame of Katniss and me, I remove the shards of glass and take the picture out of its smashed frame, I stare at her smiling face and the sparkle in her eyes and remember the look of her on the train, pale and gaunt. I am no longer known as Peeta Mellark, loving husband of Katniss Mellark, one of the star crossed lovers, but Peeta Mellark, the man who successfully extinguished the Girl on Fire.
I hope you guys like it, I have had a couple of people ask for a Peeta POV and I wanted to give you guys what you been wanting as it means a lot to me that you guys take the time to read my fic. I wanted people to see how this is affecting Peeta and how he realises that yes he made a massive mistake and he acknowledges it, he knows he betrayed Katniss and this is torturing him. I like to set the mood to my chapters with songs, so please let me know if you want me to start writing out the lyrics in the chapters so you can have a feel of the mood. The next chapters will start to see the journey, they are now separated but they will come back, it's just a journey, I know some of you were worried but don't fret my lovelies, there is a point of the return and a method to my madness as they say, this is the journey that they both will take so we will start to see that journey now which I am excited for! Reviews always make me happy guys so please review, again thanks to my followers and reviewers, you guys are just awesome
