Thank you everyone who has stuck with this story so far, I hope you're all happy with how it's going. Once again, cheers to everybody who has reviewed the last chapter and kudos to all those who have me on alert...all 47 OF YOU! is flabbergasted Wow...simply wow.
I would like to dedicate this chapter to Josh Groban, Lonestar, Rascal Flatts, Plain White T's and The Fray for all their help with writing this chapter, I could not have done it without 'Let Me Fall' and 'You Raise Me Up', 'Amazed', 'Stand', 'All We Needed, and 'How to Save A Life' (Songs are in order of artists, first two are by Josh Groban, etc.). Listen to some of these tracks if you've got the time while you're reading...It'll blow you away; Particularly Amazed.
On a sadish note, the story is indeed drawing to a close...but I couldn't resist one more cliffhanger! Also I think you're all gunna like the end...from the info I've got from you fabby readers you seem to like a good old english surprise...you won't be disappointed ;D
On a happier note, the chapters are coming back to their usual length for the next two. Seeing as they will be the final pair, I thought I owed you all that much!
On with the show...
Remus felt remorse the minute he set foot back in Grimmauld Place. The first thing his eyes rested upon, in the dim light emanating from a table lamp, was Sirius. Sirius, who was normally so lively and seemed to fill a room with his very presence, was sitting on the sofa as though he could disappear and no one would be any the wiser. He had woken in Harry's absence, but didn't seem to be aware of Harry's disappearance, yet. He was staring aimlessly at the floor directly in front of him, his gaze not even flickering as the fireplace was used.
Remus caught Harry as he fell out of the fireplace and, once the boy was righted on his feet (regardless of how much he looked like he was about to drop) he gestured for the older man to approach Sirius. Turning his attention back, although technically it had never left him, to Sirius he, ever so gently, approached him. Not quite knowing what to do with himself, he knelt down so he was in Sirius' eye line. Sirius finally saw him, and Remus watched as the other man's eyes filled with a sadness he could only describe as what he had been feeling for the past day. He tried to speak, to say something that would make Sirius forgive him. But, nothing was able to make its way past the block in his throat.
"Remus...but you left me." Sirius whispered, shaking his head from side to side ever so slightly.
"I know," Remus choked out. "Can you ever forgive me?"
"But...I'm not good enough," Sirius said and the tone in his voice, made Remus feel like he would cry.
"Sirius you aren't good enough...you're so much more than that. I love you so much, but it isn't enough. You deserve better, you deserve so much more." Remus took Sirius' hands in his own and threaded their fingers, matching their souls.
"I will never leave you. I love you," Sirius was barely audible, but Remus heard him and that was all that mattered.
Because then, after what felt like eons to both of them, he had Sirius in his arms again, and the familiar warm, gentle pressure of Sirius' face was against his neck and he could smell Sirius' shampoo, and then Remus really did cry. They remained just so for what could have been countless hours or precious seconds, time stopped for them.
Eventually Sirius broke away and looked him in the eye again. Ever so carefully he kissed both of Remus' cheeks and used his fingertips to wipe away his tears and Remus held Sirius' hand against his cheek, feeling the warmth, making sure this was real; that Sirius still need him, loved him.
"Hmm," He sighed against Sirius' touch and Sirius laughed softly and Remus was quite sure he had never heard anything as beautiful.
Sirius removed his hand and raised Remus to his feet.
"Tea?" He suggested knowingly and Remus smiled. Suddenly he realised something and looked round.
"Look," He whispered. Sirius turned in the direction he had pointed and grinned sheepishly at what he saw.
Curled up on the other sofa was Harry, fast asleep with a very clear grin on his face. Carefully, Sirius eased him into a more comfortable position and draped an old patchwork throw over him.
Quietly the pair left the room, closing the door behind them leaving Harry alone with his dreams.
"Petunia, I've got the little rat." Vernon Dursley snarled, physically throwing Harry into the hallway, where he tripped and got a carpet burn on his chin. "He thought that little friend of his could save him."
"What the hell did you think you were playing at?" Petunia Dursley hissed, spitting into the face of her petrified nephew, who for a moment almost believed she had been worried about his whereabouts. "If you run away, do you know what could happen to me and Vernon? After everything we've done for you, you are willing to get us thrown in prison, you selfish little brat." She sniffed as though he were a bad smell beneath her noise. "Well? Explain yourself!"
Harry tried to hold back the tears, it was all too much for him. He didn't reply fast enough. A hand struck him across the face. For the first time, it was not the beefy paw of his Uncle or his overweight cousin; it was the long thin hand that would have been kind if they had belonged to anybody else. The hand of his Aunt. Some resolve not to answer back, to keep quiet and do as he was told, silently snapped within Harry and before a red mark had even grown on his face he was yelling, something he had never done to anyone before.
"I was leaving because I can't take this anymore! I hate you, you hate me! I am tired of being sore all the time, of being afraid all the time! Nathan was taking me away from you because he loves me!" Harry screamed, clamping a hand over his mouth, wishing the words would go back in. But, it was too late.
"Vernon," Petunia Dursley whimpered and rushed from the room, looking like she was about to be sick.
"So you're a disgusting little faggot too, are you? Under my own roof! Your kind should be drowned, shot, anything." Vernon's voice was mounting from a low rumble to a full roar. "Clearly we haven't been teaching you your lessons properly. I can change that." Harry knew what was coming next before the first blow landed.
Vernon beat Harry harder than ever before, screaming insults at him for hours, punching and kicking the little child until there wasn't a single area of his skin not damaged in some way. At one point Harry began to vomit and he only had time to realise that it was a horrible shade of red before he passed out. The pummelling didn't stop when his conscious did.
Harry woke with a start, his neck cracking as he sat up. Wondering into the kitchen, feeling slightly dizzy, he found Remus and Sirius sitting at the table talking in hushed tones. They looked up in unison and bright smiles lit both their faces. Harry didn't mean to, but he couldn't help staring when he saw their joined hands resting on the table top. Remus followed his gaze and quickly took his hand away, but Harry shook his head definitely.
"No, I don't mind. It's your decision and I...respect that." He said and if anything Sirius' smile got brighter still. He tried to cast his mind around for something else and briefly found himself wondering about the time.
"Breakfast?" He asked cheerily and Harry nodded enthusiastic at both the offered meal and a change of topic. Harry sat comfortably silent while the other two talked happily.
As Sirius set the plates in front of them and sat down, Harry smiled, but his thoughts were some where else, a different time.
Sirius and Remus ate heartily, it had been a while since the last time either had done so properly. Harry, however, touched very little, picking at his food with no conviction. It wasn't that he wasn't hungry, but preoccupied.
Sirius noticed, but thought it best to say nothing, they needed to take this one step at a time. Setting his cutlery down, he reached across and patted Harry's arm. Harry jumped with surprise and Sirius had to wonder where he had been for all the time his body had been sitting in the chair.
After a silence that felt too...heavy to support itself Harry spoke,
"Sirius, Remus, I need to talk to you...both of you. It's about...Nathan." He said refusing to meet their looks of surprise. "I need to explain...everything."
