Disclaimer: Shut up. I don't own Dragonball Z. You know it. I know it. Let's just leave it at that. And if you EVER tell anyone this, I will come to your house and I will force-feed you broken DBGT tapes!
CASE SUGGESTIONS? IN PM FORMAT? WHAT NOW WILL HAPPEN TO THIS WORLD OF OURS?
(Case Seven: The entire Dragonball Z world is suing Hercule for being patently annoying and worthless. Which he is, there's no denying that.
Plaintiff: Dragonball Z
Defendant: Hercule)
"All ride for Judge Hazelton and his unshowered, greasy rat-nest hair which he covers with a white wig." Cell ordered the court that, at the moment, isn't even there. As Judge Hazelton wandered in, he too realized that nobody is inside the room.
"What the Christ?" He blasphemed. "Where are all the morons at?"
"Well, the whole Dragonball Z world, or the morons as you call them, are busy trying to decide who they will elect for their speaker, and Hercule is busy thinking up lies to tell the court."
"Oh, okay. I can wait..." Justin sat on one of the benches and did just that.
About one hour later...
"When the HELL are they going to-" Justin began.
(The cast of Dragonball Z walked in the room all at once. Justin ran to the podium before his tiny ass was crushed beneath all the rock-hard cartoon abs.)
"Okay, cast, who did you decide on?" Justin asked, genuinely curious.
"You'll see, we picked someone great!" Goten cheerfully spoke back.
"Very well, send them in."
Hercule and the mysterious representative for the Dragonball Z cast walked into the room.
"Videl?" Justin gasped. "You're the Dragonball Z representative?"
"Yeah, so what of it?" Videl asked slowly, clearly concealing that she was slightly offended by Justin's tone of voice and body funk.
"You realize you're testifying against your own dad?" Justin asked, business-like.
"That's exactly why I'm doing it!"
"Videl? What are you doing up here?" Hercule forcefully asked her.
"Uhhh… were you following our conversation?" said the condescending judge.
"Erm… a little." Hercule's anger faded. "I was also thinking about my trophy wife for this week, Naomi Watts."
A simultaneous "Holy crap" was uttered in the courtroom. Even Cell was shocked.
"See? That's why I'm testifying!" Videl cried out in helpless rage. "My dickweed dad is always bringing strange women home! Turanga Leela, Halle Barry, Android 18 and Dr. Girlfriend to name a few! And he only keeps them for a week! I've never had a mother that I didn't see packing the following day!"
"Damn, that's sad…" Justin said, thinking about the ending to Requiem for a Dream.
The courtroom was silenced, stunned by the sheer injustice of Hercule's exploits. Or Requiem for a Dream. I'm not sure, I don't actually control anything in my fanfiction.
"Yeah, try being in GT, where your dad is younger than you are..." Gohan whispered to himself.
"What, son?" Goku pondered, patting Gohan's back in a fatherly way.
"I didn't say anything, leave me alone!"
As the courtroom descended into Hercule-booing, Justin smacked down his gavel for silence.
"But… wait, aren't you here because of Hercule taking credit for everyone else's work?" Justin asked, raising his hand to keep the court quiet.
"Oh, yeah." Videl's memory sparked. "Well, he does that a lot as well. Cell Saga, Buu Saga, every world tournament after the Buu Saga. Basically, he doesn't deserve the credit he gets for the 'hero work' he does. He's a total bum, and we're the only ones that know it."
"Nonsense, I object!" Hercule stood up in an attempt to get a voice in the court.
"Prove it, Hercule." Justin commanded in a sharp, startling tone. "We've all seen it, we all know what you do, and we know that in about 2 minutes I'm going to give you a guilty sentence. Give me your side of the story."
"It's quite simple…" Hercule paced the court, preparing to lay 'em out with a powerhouse defense. "It's an editing trick. Nothing but a trick, like everything these people do."
That anime moment where everyone falls on their heads at the same time was immortalized after that single sentence.
"Hey, retard, are we going to have to guide you through every single time we saved your stupid ass from certain doom?" Vegeta screamed in a very in-character showing of pissed-offness.
"I suppose you will." Hercule smugly retorted.
Videl, taking it upon herself to disprove her father, floated up into the air and landed in front of Hercule's desk area.
"Well, Mr. Satan, how do you explain THAT one?" Justin asked with sarcasm.
"You have a very thin string coming out of the ceiling and puppeting you around." Hercule straight-up told his daughter after wiping the look of horror off of his face.
"That wasn't at trick, dad, that was real!" Videl whined.
"Prove it!"
Videl waved her hand above her head.
"See?" Videl almost screeched. "Nothing!"
"Okay, Hercule." Justin began. "I'm sentencing you, but instead of being Paris Hilton's emotionless sex servant like I was originally planning (gag), I'm going to make you sit in a room and watch EVERY EPISODE OF DRAGONBALL Z ten times until you get it through your damn thick skull that nothing these people do is a trick. Court dismissed."
"But, how long will that take?" Hercule roared, not at all resigned to his fate.
"About a month." Justin waved him away. "Have fun, dude. Oh, and, try not to piss yourself when Goku goes Super Saiyan."
THE END
(Next case: Imperfect Cell VS. Dr. Gero.)
