A/N: Did all see what R-Truth did to Miz this past Monday? Oh, it was grand. So much derpness and so many ideas came into my mind. Oh, but I'll save them for another time. Here's the next chapter. R&R. Enjoy!
On the Corner of First and Amistad
Chapter Six: Family
They stayed in the car for a long time. At least, it seemed like a long time to Michael. In reality, it was probably only a few minutes, maybe even five, but holding Dwayne, letting him cry, hearing his sobs, it all felt as though it continued forever. But he didn't mind it; actually, he knew that Dwayne needed this. He needed to release some of his pent up feelings and Michael was more than happy to help. So, Michael hugged him, held on tight, rubbed his charge's back, and allowed him to cry.
After a little while, Dwayne calmed down and his tears stopped. He slowly began to collect himself and he sighed, his breath caressing Michael's neck, sending shivers all over the Guard's body. Michael mentally shook himself. Now was definitely not the time for his strange feelings and stirrings to come to light. Pushing them away, as far as they'd go, Michael patted Dwayne's back and watched as the man pulled away from him. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were tear stained, but he gave Michael an apologetic smile. Well, as much of one as he could muster at the time. It didn't bother Michael; actually, he would have been worried if Dwayne could smile a real smile after breaking down in such a manner.
Dwayne cleared his throat and Michael gave him a soft, understand smile. The man nodded, looked down, looked up at the house, and then returned his gaze back to Michael.
"I… Um… I'm sorry for…well…for…you know…" Michael's smile dwindled and sadness seeped in. There wasn't anything that Dwayne had to be sorry for. It was all understandable and Dwayne didn't need to feel as though he had to explain himself. Shaking his head, Michael reached out and patted Dwayne's upper arm before pulling away.
"Don't be sorry, Dwayne. You needed to let that out. You needed to release those thoughts and emotions before they started eating you alive. So it's all good. No harm, no foul." Michael gave him a reassuring smile to emphasize his point. Dwayne stared him for a moment before he laughed briefly and shook his head.
"You know, you're not exactly normal."
Confusion took over Michael and he stared at Dwayne with wide blue eyes. Doubt and panic started ebbing inside of him. How could he not appear normal? Michael was one of the top Guards in the Afterlife, so he knew how to pass as a normal human being. What could have given him away? Before he completely lost himself to panic, Michael scowled himself mentally. There was no need to panic or be concerned. Had Dwayne discovered anything that might lead him to believe that there was something incredibly not normal about Michael, he would have said something, right? Right. And, as he had yet to do so in such a serious and alarmed manner, there wasn't anything to worry about, right? Oh, how he hoped he was right.
"What do you mean?" Dwayne got out of the car and Michael followed suit. The man locked the car and closed his door before he turned to face Michael.
"Well, usually, and I'm speaking from experience on this, guys don't like to show their feelings and they aren't usually encouraged to do so by other guys. But you…you're different. In a good way, though. Not a bad way." Michael mentally sighed in relief and he sent Dwayne a slightly quizzical smile.
"Oh? So, I'm different, but not in a bad way?" Dwayne nodded, unlocked the front door, and opened it. He stepped aside and allowed Michael to enter the house before he followed him in and closed the door.
"Yeah. I like your kind of different, though. It's refreshing… You're refreshing, especially after everything that's gone on…" Michael patted him on the back before he started for the kitchen.
"It's all good, Dwayne. I'm going to go make dinner, if that's okay?" Michael looked at him, concern apparent in his eyes. He wasn't just putting on a believable show; he was concerned about the man in front of him. Although he had released a lot of pent up frustration, sorrow, and regret, there were still a lot of emotions hidden within him and he needed to watch out and be careful of those emotions. If he wasn't, they'd destroy him.
"Sure thing. What are you going to make tonight, Mike?" Michael shrugged.
"I don't know yet. I'll rummage through what's in the freezer and see what I can come up with." Michael headed for the kitchen, glad that, for now, Dwayne was okay.
…
Dwayne was embarrassed, so very embarrassed. He had cried his damn heart out like a woman and it had felt…good. Relieving, more than anything, and that feeling was great. But, he had not only cried like a woman but, he had done it in front of a guy he had only known for a few days, if that. Never before had he done such a thing; hell, Beth had only ever seen him cry once and it was the same as what he had just done.
Well, at least he had cried. Lord only knows what would have happened if he turned violent. Dwayne knew that he could hold his own in a fight with little to no problem. However, Mike hadn't been an asshole to him; he was only trying to help him. But for a split second, just a split second, Dwayne wanted to punch something. He had wanted to make something hurt as much as he had been hurting and was still hurting. Regardless of what or who it was that had been dealt that painful blow, he wanted something to hurt.
That feeling faded away into sadness, regret, and pure, unadulterated pain the moment his eyes met Mike's. As soon as his eyes met the blue ones of the younger man sitting beside him, a flood gate opened up and he just…lost it. Unable to control himself, and not really wanting or caring to do so, he embraced the younger man and cried his heart out. Now that it was all said and done, Dwayne felt embarrassed for doing that. Not only because of his words and actions, but because of what Mike had said afterwards, when he had calmed down and had stopped crying.
It was odd to hear a young man say something that Dwayne would have expected an elderly person to say. Someone with great life experience would probably have told Dwayne what Mike had said; someone who had lived a long life and had gone through lessons and experiences that had granted them great wisdom. Mike, however, was not old. He was younger than Dwayne by about ten years or so, give or take a few years, and for him to say such things astounded and surprised Dwayne. Although, it was a pleasant surprise and it brought him some comfort, even if the words didn't extinguish all of the sorrow and guilt that Dwayne still kept locked away inside of him.
Sitting in his usual chair in the living room, he listened as Mike started making dinner. His mind was still blown away by what he had done and what Mike had said when he realized something, something that astounded him even more and made him look over his shoulder at the kitchen.
This felt…normal. Almost as though he had been with Mike for years, had been living with him for years, and had been close to him. Having Mike in the kitchen cooking whatever it was he was cooking for dinner while Dwayne sat in the living room felt as though it were commonplace. As they only met a few days ago, it definitely was not commonplace and it definitely should not have felt as though it were. But it did. It felt so normal and so right. Maybe it was because of his breakdown that he felt this way, but he couldn't help but think that this was how it was supposed to feel and supposed to be.
Shaking his head, Dwayne mentally scolded himself. This was ridiculous. Him feeling this way was ridiculous. How could he be feeling like being here with Mike was normal? Why did he feel as though it were normal? Not only that, but why did it feel relieving to be here, alone, with Mike, a complete stranger? More questions and thoughts plagued his mind and, suddenly, Dwayne pushed them aside. He was feeling more adventurous, more daring, and he didn't care about all of the questions racing through his head. All he wanted to do was bridge the gap that separated himself from Mike. He wanted to expand and strengthen the relationship between Mike and himself. And not only did he want to, but he felt as though he needed to. Perhaps it was just because he was vulnerable or something, but Dwayne knew that his instincts were telling him to do this and he wanted and needed to obey those instincts.
Even if all of his thoughts were being distorted by his emotions and vulnerability, Dwayne made up his mind. He was going to tell Mike about his family and what had happened. The younger man deserved to know why Dwayne freaked out and broke down and Dwayne needed to tell someone who wasn't a close friend or associate about the thoughts that haunted his mind every waking moment.
…
Michael pulled the tuna out of the oven and placed it on a serving plate. He had already set the table and had the mashed potatoes and broccoli already out there; all he needed was the tuna. As he was getting ready to take it out and place it on the dining table, he paused and thought about what he must look like. To a normal human, he must look like the ideal housewife; cooking and setting the table for the man of the house. To a fellow Guard, he'd look like a fool. Cooking and cleaning wasn't what he was sent here to do, but he was doing it anyway. Not only because he liked to cook, but because it would make him appear more normal, like a human, and it would help him keep a normal, low profile.
"Dinner's ready!" Michael returned to the kitchen and filled up two glasses of water. He heard Dwayne walk into the dining room and sit down at the table. With a small smile on his face, he walked out of the kitchen with the two glasses of water and handed Dwayne one.
"Thanks. What did you decide to make?" Michael sat down and smiled proudly.
"Seasoned tuna. I've been told that it's one of my specialties. Try it and tell me what you think." Dwayne grabbed some tuna and placed it on his plate before dishing up the sides. Michael did the same and, as he ate, he observed Dwayne. The man seemed more calm and more determined.
"This is pretty good, Mike. Can't say I'm surprised though. Your stuffed shells were delicious." Michael smiled at him and continued to eat.
"Thank you." Dwayne nodded, paused for a bit, and then spoke up.
"I know that we don't really know each other too well, but I want to change that. Considering what just happened, I think it's only right that I explain why I acted the way I did and what's happened to make me so…"
"Upset?" Michael suggested helpfully. Dwayne nodded at him and sent him a slight grin.
"Yeah, upset. It's a long story, though."
"I've got time." All the time in the world, actually, but Michael didn't say that. It might be taken in the wrong context and, considering what just happened, suspicious and doubt were things that he didn't need focused on him right now.
"I don't know how to start this off, so I'm just going to get right into it." Dwayne took a deep breath and placed his fork down.
"I was close to both of my parents. They were both busy, but we always had time to be a family. I loved them both very much and they loved me just as much back. We were a family, through and through.
"My mom died six years ago. She was very sick and was my biggest supporter. She had always had a sensitive immune system, but she always pulled through and that's what Dad and I both expected. But, she was just too sick and too tired of fighting. It was… It was hard, very…very hard…losing her." Michael saw that there were tears shining brightly in Dwayne's dark eyes, but they didn't fall. Having been a Guard for a while now, Michael hadn't had to deal with lose and pain. Even when he had been alive, he had died before his parents did, so he couldn't relate in that sense. But he had seen his fair share of pain and suffering and he knew what it looked like, and it touched him. It always hit a nerve, seeing people suffer through sorrow, regret, and guilt, especially when it wasn't their fault.
"Three years later, Dad was diagnosed with cancer. And he was just like Mom: a fighter. He fought long and hard, but in the end, he died. He died this year, as a matter of fact. That was a hard blow too, because Dad was my best friend. We got along great and to lose him and Mom was…hard. It brought home the reality that Mom was really dead and that Dad wasn't coming back either." Dwayne laughed a cold, humorless laugh and Michael felt concern rise up within him. It was obvious that talking about this was incredibly hard on the man, but Michael knew that he had to do this. Things could only get better if he did this. At least, that was what he had hoped.
"As if losing my dad wasn't enough, John left me a few days later. He said…he said that he loved me, but that he wasn't in love with me. That he had found someone he actually wanted to be with and love. Can you believe it?" The tears started falling and Michael got up and walked over to, pulling him into a hug. Dwayne hugged him back hard and tight, but Michael didn't say anything. All he did was rub the man's back and listen to his words.
"After being together for nine years, John just up and leaves. And he doesn't even take his crap with him. He just loves to torment me, to make me want him and miss him. That stupid whore… How can he…how can he…?" Dwayne inhaled sharply and Michael felt his entire body shake.
"Not only that, but my ex wife and daughter died in a car accident. What the fuck is up with that? As if I hadn't had a hard enough time with Dad passing away and John up and leaving, they're taken away from me too? What? Am…am I that horrible a person? Have I…done anything to piss someone off upstairs or what? What did I do, Mike? What did I do to deserve this?" Michael rubbed his back and, without even thinking about it, pressed a soft kiss to Dwayne's temple. He felt so bad and he wanted to do something, anything, that would help Dwayne get through this. Opening his mouth, Michael was about to ask him if there was anything he could do when someone knocked on the door.
"Fuck! That must be John…" Michael groaned and loosened his hold on Dwayne.
"Did…did you want me to go and answer that? If you want, I could get rid of him for you." Dwayne looked up at him, his eyes red, puffy, and still filled with tears, and Michael felt a pang of pain stab at his heart at the sight.
"Mike would you…would you please get him out of here? I can't deal with his shit right now." Michael nodded and went to do what Dwayne requested of him.
