The feeling of unease caused by my encounter with Mabo, Joji, and Tomio follows me in the following weeks. It's a feeling like everything is about to end, like the things I now know are about to be ripped from under me and replaced with yet another period of awkward hesitance and uncertainty. I don't like this feeling. Hopefully, I'll be rid of it after tonight, with the help of Kimura's presence.

After my change in routine, we've both had to adjust and adapt to make our treasured meetings possible once again. We've sent countless emails, but haven't actually met in over a month. Perhaps that's the cause of this unpleasant feeling. Regardless, I won't have to worry about that anymore, as I've finally found our opportunity.

Carrying a small loads of groceries back from the market, I'm prepared to make enough sukiyaki and udon for Kimura to take a good sized portion home, some for her roommate, and some for her. After a few short months, I've gotten used to cooking more often, and I've even improved a little since she started coming. Kimura seems to be pretty fond of my cooking, although I don't see it as anything particularly special.

After getting inside and slipping my shoes off, I turn to find Iyo sitting in the main room, doing some thing or another on her phone.

"What are you doing here, sister?" I ask calmly, refusing to let my temper get the best of me today. I start to put the cold food away as I await her reply.

"Dad wanted me to come see you. And why can't I come do so? Do you hate your dear sister?" she asks with faux innocence.

"When she breaks into my apartment while I'm out, I do."

"That's mean, brother. Besides, how am I supposed to see you, when you won't let me come over?"

"I don't invite you over because I'm not usually here. The only things I do here are study, sleep, and eat. I don't even do the third much, either."

"That seems like a lot of food for one night, brother. If you don't eat here often, what's it all for?"

Iyo's questions are beginning to test my resolve, as my temper starts to quickly burn away.

"I'm having a friend over, I'm making her dinner."

"Ooh, a girl in brother's apartment? You know, Dad did mention something about you meeting a girl, although he didn't know much about it."

I'm starting to lose control of myself. If I snap, even Kimura wouldn't be able to remedy the foul mood that will follow. I need to get Iyo out of here, now.

"Iyo, just go home. I'll come see you some other time."

"I want to meet this girl though. What's she like? Is she as cute as I-"

"Iyo, leave. Now."

My sister stares at me for a moment in hurt disbelief. Despite all the jabs and cold remarks over the years, this is the first time I've been this way with her. Her face hardens, and she puffs out her cheeks just a bit, like she always does when she doesn't get her way.

"No. I've decided I'm staying for dinner, and you can't do anything about it."

"I can call the police."

"And have the news that Dr. Yamaguchi's son had his own sister taken away by the police run rampant? I think not, brother."

She has me there. A move like that would do nothing but hurt our family name, which has already come under scrutiny because of our ties to the Yoshida family. Doing anything else to tarnish our reputation is just something I can't do.

"Fine. But you're ruining the plans I had, you know that?"

"I do, and I don't care. I want to eat a meal with my brother."

Brushing her last comment off, I begin preparations to cook the meal, hoping to lose myself in the task. The anger and worry still eat at the back of my mind nonetheless, but it was worth a shot. Kimura arrives just before the food is ready, and is surprised to see Iyo already sitting at the table.

"Ah, yes. Kimura-chan, this is my sister, Iyo. Iyo, this is Kimura Ayane," I scramble to introduce the two, before Iyo can start her interrogation.

"It's nice to meet you, Iyo-san," Kimura greets her.

"There's no need for that, Ayane-chan. You can just call me Iyo," my sister exclaims, already becoming for more familiar with Kimura than makes me comfortable.

I manage to get the food on the table quick enough to prevent too much chatter between the two, and pray that Iyo will just eat without trying to talk anymore. The silence I'm rewarded with is relieving, but I can't let my guard down. I begin alternating between watching Iyo as I eat, and watching Kimura. They seem to be doing the same, Iyo undoubtedly looking for some kind of unspoken message between Kimura and I, while Kimura seems to be looking for similarities between the two of us. Once the three of us have finished eating, I scoop up the dishes and take them off to the kitchen. As I leave the room, I hear Iyo ask that damned question I was praying to avoid.

"So are you and brother dating, Ayane-chan?"

"It's not like that," I try to call nonchalantly as I walk away.

"Yes, there's nothing like that going on. I'm not sure what gave you that idea, but we're just friends," Kimura further clarifies. Iyo gives a small pout and gives up, moving on the other unheard topics of chatter.

Somehow, Kimura's answer doesn't make me feel any better. She seemed to be objected to the idea a bit too much. But which of us is the one she's denying? Is she denying that she has any feelings for me? Or is she denying that I could possibly have feelings for her? Or is it perhaps the both of us, with us being "just friends" a testament to both of us being devoid of feeling for one another?

The list of possibilities keeps growing in my head, and each new one worsen my mood even more. By the time I finish handling the dishes, Iyo is sprawled out on my floor, attempting to take a nap. Kimura gives thanks for the meal and leaves, and once I get Iyo up, she does too. And I'm all alone in my apartment once again, feeling uncertain without any indication of the truth.


I am a terrible, terrible person who should not be entrusted with anyone's life.