(Lucky 7)
A/N: The lingerie is real. I'll try to give enough info as I go so that it's in the first 2-3 hits on google. Look back in chapter 6 for the info for this chapter, too.
She was going to have to go to the gym for an extra hour to work off these Castle family meals. Alexis had disappeared back to the kitchen for the "piece de resistance" after Rick and Martha cleared. Kate had already learned the week prior that she would be scolded for trying to help.
As Alexis entered carrying a beautiful meringue pie, Rick's face lit up.
"Oh, yes! Tell me it's lemon and I'll buy you a pony."
"I already told you when I was nine that I didn't want a pony, Dad. But yes, it's lemon meringue."
Kate voiced the thought without censoring it.
"Oh, that was my mom's absolute favorite. She made it on her birthday every year."
Her tone was so genuinely happy and light, everyone at the table seemed to take the comment in stride. The lightness lasted long enough for her to smile and accept a slice, but Kate's mind drifted to the board in Rick's office. She'd thought about it all week, off and on. Mostly off. She'd told Dr. Burke about most everything on Tuesday morning, including about Rick's secret. In his usual vague but laser sharp analysis, he had asked her how it made her feel, and when she said she wasn't sure, he probed further.
"How is this different than the secret you were keeping from Rick?"
"I guess they were similar, in some ways. Both of us kept secrets in order to protect me. His was just so much bigger." She let some indignation color her tone.
"Was it, really?"
"It was about my mother's case. He didn't trust me to be able to be reasonable and keep from diving in."
"Did you trust him?" This garnered a long pause.
"I guess not. Not to respect my need for time to think."
"How are you dealing with the fact that he has information on your mother's case?" Her eyes fixed on a point out the window.
"I haven't really. I want to know, but I want to have something with him that's real and that's separate from all of it." She shifted her gaze for a rare look directly into Dr. Burke's eyes. "I just don't know if I can separate them."
She'd left his office with more questions than she'd had when she walked in. She hadn't allowed herself to lay awake at night fixating. She'd just decided not to decide for the moment. But it hadn't completely left her thoughts.
By the time she came out of her haze her piece of pie was almost gone, and Alexis and Martha were rising to leave for the theater.
"One more show after this one, right?" She tried to sound interested.
"Yeah, tomorrow afternoon we have a matinee. I'm sort of sad that it's over, but I won't mind having weekends back."
"Oh, the sacrifices we make for our art!" Martha followed Alexis toward the front door.
"You guys have fun. Try to stay awake this time, Dad. Kate's gonna think you're a boring date."
Kate shouldn't have been so startled to hear that four-letter word thrown around. She should have realized that's what they were doing. It just sort of snuck up on her. Castle sensed her moment of shock, but he played it off well as he hugged Alexis goodbye.
"I'll do my best, sweetie. Have a good show."
When the door shut, Kate was staring across the room toward the office.
"So, are we really going to repeat the movie, or should we try a different one?" His cheery tone seemed a little forced.
"I don't think I'm going to be able to concentrate on a movie right now." She couldn't lie. She knew it.
He had walked up behind her. He placed his hand on her elbow as he attempted to draw her gaze.
"Want to see it?" He looked determined, but very positive somehow.
"What?" She didn't think he could possibly know.
"The board." Of course he knew. There was absolutely no reason for her to think he wouldn't know.
"I don't want to ruin tonight—I've been looking forward to being here all week." She couldn't meet his eyes. It was the truth. As recently as outside his front door, she'd had to talk herself down from pulling him out into the hallway and kissing him within an inch of his life.
"But you've also been thinking about the case." Not a question.
"Yeah." Not much of an answer.
"I offered. I meant it. We're going to do this sometime." He reached down to take her hand, pull her to his office.
"We are."
"Hello?" Alexis called from the front door.
"Anybody home?" Martha's voice came from the same general direction.
The light from the smartboard was enough to shine through into the living room, and it must have alerted them to Kate and Rick's presence in the office.
"Hey. We're just going over a case, actually."
Alexis approached, and Rick stepped out to meet her before she could enter and see the display. Kate peered out through Derrick Storm spines to see them.
"Grams came with us when the cast went out afterward. Sorry I didn't call."
"Actually, I'm a terrible father. I didn't even notice what time it was."
"Excellent. Wish I had no conscience, I might have gotten away with it."
"You were with your grandmother, Alexis."
"Dad, you know that only makes it worse."
"True. Did you ladies behave?"
"Only enough to keep us out of jail, dear. We didn't want Kate to have to get involved with getting us out at this time of night." Martha was already headed up the stairs as she answered.
He kissed Alexis on the forehead.
"I'm going to bed. See you in the morning?" Alexis shot a hopeful glance toward his office.
"Yes. Pancakes?"
"I want bananas."
"Chocolate chips and bananas." He extended his pinky finger in her direction.
"Deal." She mirrored him and some sort of pinky shake happened out of her line of sight.
Alexis called toward the office as she headed up.
"Goodnight Kate, sleep well." Well that was either overly presumptuous or overly perceptive of her. Kate wasn't sure which, yet.
"Goodnight Alexis."
Rick returned and closed the door behind him. Kate was standing, holding the smartboard remote, staring. It was the pose she'd held for the better part of an hour. Rick had gone through everything in meticulous detail. Then they'd rehashed the timeline, spun theory. They'd both lost track of time. Midnight had come and gone by the time Alexis and Martha interrupted.
"You know everything I know."
"I know."
"Yes, you do."
She gave him a rueful grin.
"I'm done for now. I want to be done, for now." She clicked the remote and shut down the board.
"It's getting late. We should get some rest before your phone rings."
She deposited the remote on his desk and turned to leave.
"OK, I'll head out. I'll call you if a body drops."
Her forward progress was halted by a firm hand on her shoulder.
"No, you won't."
He stepped in behind her and placed his other hand on her other shoulder, then drew her back against his chest, his lips at her ear, breath on her cheek.
"If you go home right now, one of two things will happen. You will either lie awake all night, staring at the ceiling, going over everything we just talked out, until Esposito calls you to a scene, or you'll fall asleep and have a nightmare." He wrapped his forearms around her shoulders, pinning her closer to him. She could feel the warmth radiating off him in waves.
"How do you know about my nightmares?" Why should she be surprised at what he knows anymore?
"I've had them too, especially if I have this stuff in my head." He tilted his head in the direction of the board. He sounded resigned. She'd never known he had nightmares. She should have realized.
He rocked forward and gently pushed her in the direction of the door to his bedroom.
He flicked on the light switch, lighting a bedside lamp, then pulled the door closed.
As much as she tried to mount arguments for going home, sleeping in her own bed, not waking him if she got a boring call, she'd never seen his room before, and she couldn't help looking around. It was very… Rick. And there were elephants. She wondered how long those had been there.
"At least if you're here, we can wake each other up."
He turned her in his arms and suddenly his face was so close, his eyes so blue and piercing, and he gave her this heartbreakingly tender look. He whispered against her skin as he brushed his lips feather light against her cheek, her forehead.
"And frankly, I think we both deserve some sweeter dreams."
When his lips brushed hers, she felt herself falling, off a cliff, into the deep, past the point of no return, into the kiss, into him. Her hands were in his hair, brushing down his neck, across his shoulders, down his chest. Her fingers were working buttons undone before she'd even realized what she was doing. His hands had found the hem of her sweater and snuck underneath, brushing the edge of black silk. That snapped her out of her pheromone-induced haze enough to pull back from his lips.
"Rick, I don't want to do this tonight. It's…" He switched tactics and started in with wet, hot, open-mouthed kisses on her neck, pausing briefly to speak a few words.
"I know… you're on call. When we do this for real… phones will be off… and the outside world… better not expect to hear from us for at least a day… and a half." He got to that spot behind her ear and she felt her knees start to give way just as he abruptly halted his assault. "What is this?"
He pulled back to look down at the two inches of silk and lace he had revealed as he slid her sweater up.
"I did promise you lingerie the next time."
A beautiful, devious, awestruck smile washed over his features.
He watched her intently as she reached up and continued unbuttoning his shirt, tugging the tails out from his jeans and sliding it off his shoulders. As she made quick work of his belt buckle, he inched the sweater higher, revealing the black camisole and the panels of wide lace running down her stomach, showing just enough pale skin to give him ideas. At least, that was what she hoped. She surely had ideas at this point-wonderful, awful ideas. God she wanted all of him and she wanted it now. What could it hurt? Damn it, no. She had plans for that night, whenever it was, and it wasn't tonight. Damn it. But she certainly had his full attention.
His eyes were transfixed on that ever-increasing swath of silk, as the sweater's hem neared the swell of her breasts. His palms were flat against her sides, fingers reaching around her back, thumbs shoving soft blue fabric. When they met the seam of the camisole and then made contact through the silk with her nipples, she lost her hold on the waistband of his jeans. His thumbs brushed lightly, and finding them already pebbled from arousal circled more firmly, eliciting a moan. That noise seemed to spur him on, and he slid the sweater up and over her head, drawing a shiver as he slid the sleeves down her arms.
His eyes followed the wide openwork lace straps of the camisole down to the sweetheart neckline. He held his fingers over the lace, seeming to hesitate. She inhaled and her chest expanded pushing her skin into his touch. And then his fingertips were caressing along the straps and across the neckline and over the silk between her breasts, so light it was impossible for her not to want more—more pressure, more warmth, more of him. He traced the two panels of lace down her ribcage to the waistband of her jeans, and her skin rose in goosebumps. He unfastened and unzipped and was sliding the denim down her legs so gently, she almost didn't stop to think that he was seeing her nearly bare for the first time. He knelt to tug the jeans off each foot, then slid her socks off one at a time, letting his fingers linger along the edge of her ankle, the instep of her arch.
As he rose to stand, he slid his own jeans off, leaving him in boxers and his white undershirt. And then he took a step back and took her in. Starting at her toes, he left no inch of her wanting for his gaze. The look on his face was so full of love and meticulous intensity that she didn't feel cheap or objectified as she had in so many bars before some many men. He was committing her to memory.
A smile tugged at the corner of his lips when he reached her black lacy underwear. It left almost nothing to the imagination, since the lace panel stretching across the front was nearly see-through. She hadn't given in to the urge to cover anything with hands or crossed arms. She was giving all of this to him; he might as well see what he was getting. He finished his appraisal, pausing at her waist and breasts, and finally fixing on her eyes.
"I believe in mind control. Kate, you and this underwear are going to kill me."
That broke the spell. She cackled at him, with a big, toothy grin, and fell into his arms, kissing his collarbone.
"Consider this a preview."
He wrapped his arms around her and scratched the silk covering her spine lightly with his fingernails as he trailed his lips over her curls.
"Come on, I have a new toothbrush for you in the bathroom." He released her and tugged her by the hand.
They brushed their teeth in front of his mirror. She was watching him, self-conscious about being a messy brusher, when she caught his eyes on her in the mirror. They locked for just a split second, and both of them smiled silly, shy little smiles. After they took turns rinsing and he handed her a towel, she was smiling again.
"What?" He wiped his mouth on his own towel.
"Nothing." She shifted her eyes away but couldn't hold in the smile.
"You're smiling. Something's going through that head of yours." She met his eyes again.
"I just love you, that's all."
She was ridiculous, telling him now, smiling, with tears in her eyes, staring him down in his bathroom mirror, in their underwear. His eyes closed for a beat. She saw his chest expand. When he opened them again, he had turned to face her. He reached for her hands, intertwined their fingers. No more indirect reflections.
He looked so incredibly happy. She felt an inordinate sense of pride for inspiring that look on his face. She vowed to put it there as often as she could.
"Kate, you're going to make me cry…" his voice broke as if on cue on that last syllable, but he swallowed hard and continued "…and then how am I supposed to maintain my rugged, manly image?" He tugged her into his chest and kissed the top of her head. She felt his warm breath blow out against her scalp. He let her hands go and framed her face with his palms, pulling her back from his chest. He did have tears in his eyes, but the smile was still there—bigger, even, if that was possible.
"I love you so much, Kate. I don't know if you can understand how much. I didn't understand how much until just now, I don't think."
"Let's go to bed, Rick."
He nodded and let her walk past him toward the bedroom, but as she passed, he caught her up in his arms, wrapped them around her waist and hauled her up off her feet, her back held tight against his chest.
So unlike the other time they were in this pose.
He made a deep humming noise, almost a growl, and staggered slightly as he carried her out to the bedroom. He put her down at the side of his bed and turned back to switch off the bathroom light. That gave her enough time to turn and catch him, lips and tongues and teeth working over and into and against each other until she stopped caring about air.
He held her tightly against him and then laid them both down on the bed without parting his lips from hers. He reached behind her to pull down the covers and then separated from her briefly, rolling away to the far side of the bed to turn off the bedside lamp. She shamelessly followed him, wrapping her arms around his chest and hooking one knee over his hip when he turned back to her. She found his lips again and swallowed his moan as her body made full contact with is. His hands found silk and lace and all sorts of interesting edges where they met skin.
"You sure you can't just ignore the damn phone just this once if it goes off?" He was trailing his tongue over the junction of her collarbone and her breastbone, one hand sliding down her waist, over her hip, and gripping her lace-covered cheek to pull her more firmly against him.
"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing. But no. Gotta be responsible." She ran a hand over his chest until her fingers brushed his nipple, forcing a gasp from his lips.
"Why?" He ran his hand further down the back of her thigh to the crease of her knee, tugging it higher over his hip and aligning things that were only going to make her frustrated with underwear on. And the crease of her knee was another spot, apparently. She groaned.
"Because it's what I do. And if I don't do my job, some other poor detective who isn't even on call has to get dragged out of bed in the middle of the night. And that's just not fair." She trailed her hand over his shoulder and along the flexing muscles of his arm.
"And what part of being wrapped around you, with your sexy lingerie and your perfect lips and your hair spilling down, but not being allowed to make love with you until we fall into an exhausted, sated, glowing, babbling heap of loose limbs and gasping breath, is fair, exactly?"
"I forget sometimes that you get paid to write, and then you say that."
He chuckled against her ear, and then ran his tongue along the tender edge.
"Impressed with my substantial prose, detective?"
"Among other substantial attributes, yes." She rotated her hips against his.
He rolled to his back and pulled her half on top of him, breaking their most intimate contact, but still keeping her close.
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"Good." She kissed the tip of his nose and laid her cheek on his chest.
"I'm glad you're here."
"So am I." Her hand was rubbing circles softly against his chest as his fingers traced figure eights on her back. They lulled and soothed each other away from that frenzied rush of desire, leaving just the tenderness to carry with them into sleep.
A while later, maybe minutes, she was drifting off, taken by exhaustion from the late hour and the emotion of rehashing the case, but she didn't want to fall asleep without making sure.
"Hey Rick?"
"Hmm?" He must have been nearly asleep as well.
"Don't forget."
"Wha—what?"
"I love you."
She felt him inhale. He was certainly awake now. He squeezed her tighter against his side and spoke into her hair.
"Do me a favor?"
"Sure."
"Remind me every once in a while, just in case?"
"I will if you will."
"As if I could keep my mouth shut about it now."
"Good point."
"So, yeah, I love you, Kate." She snuggled against him and sighed. Less than a minute passed before he leaned forward and whispered directly in her ear.
"I love you." She shook her head and grinned in the dark against his skin. Maybe twice as much time elapsed in silence.
"Just in case it was fading in your memory, I love you."
"Oh god, what have I done…" She rolled her eyes even though she knew he couldn't see.
He chuckled deep in his chest, and she felt the reverberations in her own.
As she sank into the warmth of his arms and the velvet of his voice, as he whispered those words she'd fought and feared for so long, she knew why she'd been so terrified. She could never walk away from this and be whole ever again. But maybe that was because until she found him, she wasn't really whole to begin with.
