PIPER AND PAIGE ORB INTO THE FAIR CITY OF LESBANIA. THEY ARE SHOCKED AND DISGUSTED BY WHAT THEY SEE.
PIPER: Ewwww! Paige, look! Its disgusting.
PAIGE: I have never seen such a large concentration of lesbiums in all my life.
PIPER: Its sickening, it really is. Oh my god, could they be any more scantily clad..er?
PAIGE: No, no they could not.
SUDDENLY PRUE COMES RUNNING UP, HOLDING A BROOMSTICK.
PRUE: Did I miss the lesbiums? Or the alcamahol?
PAIGE: No, no you did not.
PIPER: Paige, stop talking like that. It's kinda creepy.
PAIGE: No, no its not.
PIPER: Yes, yes it is. Ahhhhhh crap! You made me start doing it.
PAIGE: Yes, yes I did.
PRUE: Hey! Stop arguing and ask me why I'm holding a broomstick!
PIPER SIGHS AND DECIDES TO HUMOUR PROO.
PIPER: Proo, why are you carrying that broomstick?
PROO: I thought it would come in useful.
PIPER: Is that it?
PROO: Yes.
THEY GO QUIET AND AN ALYSSA MILANO SONG IS HEARD….NOT IN THE DISTANCE, BUT NEXT TO THEM. WITH A SCREAM PIPER REMEMBERS THE LESBIUMS WHO WERE ALL AROUND THEM.
PIPER: Aiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee! I just remembered that there are lesbiums all around us!
PROO: Ew.
PAIGE: Hmmmmm.
PIPER: What Paige?
PAIGE: I just thought that we should find Feebee before we deal with the lesbiums.
PROO: Good plan! No wait its not.
PIPER: We don't really want or need Feebee….do we?
PROO: Hell no, we are the strongest and the best Charmed Ones. We don't really need the lesbium at all.
PAIGE: Amen to that!
PIPER: Lets go have a pizza party…..On Proo!
PROO: No you cannot! I'm not a rich mother trucker anymore, I can't afford anything!
PIPER: No I mean literally on you, we haven't got a table or anything.
PROO: Riiiiiiight, well as long as I ain't paying I ain't complaining.
PAIGE: Amen to that!
PIPER STARES AT PAIGE.
PIPER: Didn't you just say that? Like a few sentences back?
PAIGE: Yes, yes I did.
PIPER: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
PROO: OoooooOOOOOoooooo you made Piper mad, now she'll go and stare at a calming wall or something.
PIPER: My wall staring days are over Proo. If you hadn't died then you would have known that.
PROO ROLLS HER EYES AND CROSSES HER ARMS
PROO: That's right Piper. Always with the death thing. Do you think I lieked (ha ha lieked) dying? Hmmmmm? Hmmmmmm?
PIPER: Mumble mumble.
PROO: Speak up Piper, you're mumbling.
PIPER: No. I was saying, "Mumble mumble".
PROO: Why the hell would you do that?
PIPER: Why wouldn't I do that?
PROO: Um, I..uh…Oh shut up Piper!
PIPER: Bam!
PAIGE: Proo went dahhhhhn!
PROO TUTS AND WISHES SHE WAS DEAD AGAIN. THEN SHE WONDERS WHY SHE IS ALIVE AGAIN…BUT NO ONE KNOWS.
PROO: Well if you've quite finished, maybe we could get round to doing something about the lesbiums.
SHE GESTURES AT THE LESBIUMS WHO WERE WHISPERING TO THEMSELVES AND POINTING AT THEM.
PIPER: I don't like the look of that one there. Yes I'm pointing at you, yes you! The one in the purple.
THE LESBIUM IN PURPLE BLUSHES AND TRIES TO COVER HER PURPLE SCANTY CLOTHES UP. SHE MANAGES WITH EASE, WHAT WITH THERE NOT BEING MUCH OF IT TO COVER…YEAH.
PIPER: Covering it up doesn't make it any better, we all know what's being covered. I suggest you go and change, we'll all feel better.
THE LESBIUM STARTS TO GROWL AND WALK TOWARDS PIPER SHAKING A MINATURE ROLLING PIN AT HER…..WHEN SUDDENLY….KAREN FROM WILL AND GRACE APPEARS!!!!
KAREN: Hey, honey. What's with the purple? What's it all about? What's going on here?
THE LESBIUM STARTS TO CRY AND THEN RUNS OFF WITH HER TAIL BETWEEN HER LEGS.
KAREN: Well, you know what they say about lesbiums in purple?
PIPER: No actually, I don't.
KAREN: Me neither, that's why there was a question mark at the end of what I said. Honey, I have to go make some other people feel bad about their clothes, bub bye!
SHE DISAPEARS IN A CLOUD OF PINK SPARKLES.
PAIGE: That was…strange.
PROO: But you can't fault her fashion sense, well you could try I suppose….but you would be wrong. WRONG I TELLS YA!
PIPER: Proo! Focus!
SHE SLAPS PROO AND THE LESBIUMS MAKE 'TURNED ON' NOISES.
PROO: Piper! Don't do that again, they like it.
PAIGE: Like it a lot.
PIPER: Hey, I gotta tell you something!
PROO: What?
PAIGE: Tell me now or I might die.
PIPER: This chapter is going no where and has to end. Right about……….now.
Chapter 8 is done, review me or else….ok ok, idle threat. I can't actually do anything to you at all. OooooooOOOOOooooo! Sneak peak into an up and coming chapter, Meagan the Australium, will be starring alongside KT and the others in this mess that is "CHARMED DOES THE COUNTRYSIDE".
PIPER: Ewwww! Paige, look! Its disgusting.
PAIGE: I have never seen such a large concentration of lesbiums in all my life.
PIPER: Its sickening, it really is. Oh my god, could they be any more scantily clad..er?
PAIGE: No, no they could not.
SUDDENLY PRUE COMES RUNNING UP, HOLDING A BROOMSTICK.
PRUE: Did I miss the lesbiums? Or the alcamahol?
PAIGE: No, no you did not.
PIPER: Paige, stop talking like that. It's kinda creepy.
PAIGE: No, no its not.
PIPER: Yes, yes it is. Ahhhhhh crap! You made me start doing it.
PAIGE: Yes, yes I did.
PRUE: Hey! Stop arguing and ask me why I'm holding a broomstick!
PIPER SIGHS AND DECIDES TO HUMOUR PROO.
PIPER: Proo, why are you carrying that broomstick?
PROO: I thought it would come in useful.
PIPER: Is that it?
PROO: Yes.
THEY GO QUIET AND AN ALYSSA MILANO SONG IS HEARD….NOT IN THE DISTANCE, BUT NEXT TO THEM. WITH A SCREAM PIPER REMEMBERS THE LESBIUMS WHO WERE ALL AROUND THEM.
PIPER: Aiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee! I just remembered that there are lesbiums all around us!
PROO: Ew.
PAIGE: Hmmmmm.
PIPER: What Paige?
PAIGE: I just thought that we should find Feebee before we deal with the lesbiums.
PROO: Good plan! No wait its not.
PIPER: We don't really want or need Feebee….do we?
PROO: Hell no, we are the strongest and the best Charmed Ones. We don't really need the lesbium at all.
PAIGE: Amen to that!
PIPER: Lets go have a pizza party…..On Proo!
PROO: No you cannot! I'm not a rich mother trucker anymore, I can't afford anything!
PIPER: No I mean literally on you, we haven't got a table or anything.
PROO: Riiiiiiight, well as long as I ain't paying I ain't complaining.
PAIGE: Amen to that!
PIPER STARES AT PAIGE.
PIPER: Didn't you just say that? Like a few sentences back?
PAIGE: Yes, yes I did.
PIPER: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
PROO: OoooooOOOOOoooooo you made Piper mad, now she'll go and stare at a calming wall or something.
PIPER: My wall staring days are over Proo. If you hadn't died then you would have known that.
PROO ROLLS HER EYES AND CROSSES HER ARMS
PROO: That's right Piper. Always with the death thing. Do you think I lieked (ha ha lieked) dying? Hmmmmm? Hmmmmmm?
PIPER: Mumble mumble.
PROO: Speak up Piper, you're mumbling.
PIPER: No. I was saying, "Mumble mumble".
PROO: Why the hell would you do that?
PIPER: Why wouldn't I do that?
PROO: Um, I..uh…Oh shut up Piper!
PIPER: Bam!
PAIGE: Proo went dahhhhhn!
PROO TUTS AND WISHES SHE WAS DEAD AGAIN. THEN SHE WONDERS WHY SHE IS ALIVE AGAIN…BUT NO ONE KNOWS.
PROO: Well if you've quite finished, maybe we could get round to doing something about the lesbiums.
SHE GESTURES AT THE LESBIUMS WHO WERE WHISPERING TO THEMSELVES AND POINTING AT THEM.
PIPER: I don't like the look of that one there. Yes I'm pointing at you, yes you! The one in the purple.
THE LESBIUM IN PURPLE BLUSHES AND TRIES TO COVER HER PURPLE SCANTY CLOTHES UP. SHE MANAGES WITH EASE, WHAT WITH THERE NOT BEING MUCH OF IT TO COVER…YEAH.
PIPER: Covering it up doesn't make it any better, we all know what's being covered. I suggest you go and change, we'll all feel better.
THE LESBIUM STARTS TO GROWL AND WALK TOWARDS PIPER SHAKING A MINATURE ROLLING PIN AT HER…..WHEN SUDDENLY….KAREN FROM WILL AND GRACE APPEARS!!!!
KAREN: Hey, honey. What's with the purple? What's it all about? What's going on here?
THE LESBIUM STARTS TO CRY AND THEN RUNS OFF WITH HER TAIL BETWEEN HER LEGS.
KAREN: Well, you know what they say about lesbiums in purple?
PIPER: No actually, I don't.
KAREN: Me neither, that's why there was a question mark at the end of what I said. Honey, I have to go make some other people feel bad about their clothes, bub bye!
SHE DISAPEARS IN A CLOUD OF PINK SPARKLES.
PAIGE: That was…strange.
PROO: But you can't fault her fashion sense, well you could try I suppose….but you would be wrong. WRONG I TELLS YA!
PIPER: Proo! Focus!
SHE SLAPS PROO AND THE LESBIUMS MAKE 'TURNED ON' NOISES.
PROO: Piper! Don't do that again, they like it.
PAIGE: Like it a lot.
PIPER: Hey, I gotta tell you something!
PROO: What?
PAIGE: Tell me now or I might die.
PIPER: This chapter is going no where and has to end. Right about……….now.
Chapter 8 is done, review me or else….ok ok, idle threat. I can't actually do anything to you at all. OooooooOOOOOooooo! Sneak peak into an up and coming chapter, Meagan the Australium, will be starring alongside KT and the others in this mess that is "CHARMED DOES THE COUNTRYSIDE".
