Chapter 7: Light and Darkness
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS. I love you guys. Seriously!
So, this is NOT such a fluff-chapter as the previous ones...but it's long! Anyway, please read and review! Thanks SO MUCH!
I do not own Meitantei Conan
A cool, gentle breeze washed over his face, and he felt vaguely surprised that as happy as he was, he could get additional pleasure from such a simple sensation. But being happier than he'd ever been before didn't seem to put a cap on how happy he could be-rather, everything just seemed to be that much better to him right now. With every little kiss of sunlight, his heart would flutter a little more. Breathing in, he turned to nuzzle his face further into the chest he'd been leaning against.
Though he was far from an anti-social person, Kaito had never had an easy time opening up to people-for obvious reasons in the case of his alter-ego-but even before he'd become Kaitou Kid, he'd had a tendency to exaggerate the trickster side of his personality, and part of him realized that in so doing, he was trying to keep people from seeing through him. He was desperately trying to keep the scared little boy without a father hidden, clutching desperately to one of the only things he felt he had left of Kuroba Toichi-his advice. And the last bit of advice that hung so powerfully in his heart was to "never forget your poker-face."
Breathing in the scent of the detective beneath him, Kaito slowly sat up to study his sleeping face. After all those years of secrecy, here before him was someone he not only could talk to, but actually wanted to. Even without saying anything, Shinichi seemed to understand him, but nonetheless, they had spent the last hour just talking. Talking about themselves…of details which may have seemed trivial to others, but were nonetheless little irreplaceable treasures to them. Each new bit of information-whether being Shinichi's favorite flavor of ice cream or what Kaito would wish for were he to see a shooting star-only brought them a little closer to understanding the infinitely complexifying person of the other.
Shinichi had finally dozed off 20 minutes before, and Kaito was thoroughly enjoying himself alternating between studying the detective's handsome features and resting his head on his strong chest, finding the sound of Shinichi's peaceful breathing to be music to his ears. Currently, Kaito was enjoying the former pleasure.
Little streaks of sunlight shining through the trees were dancing on Shinichi's features, somehow making him even more beautiful. He almost seemed to be glowing in the light-he didn't look completely real…Kaito blinked a little. He was glowing, but it wasn't because of the sunlight.
Kaito stared in awe as the form before him began to shrink. Reaching out, he grasped the quickly shortening arms, as if willing them to stop changing. Was it his imagination, or did the shrinking slow for an instant? He couldn't be sure, though, because soon enough, even Shinichi's face had gained back a slight bit of baby fat to fit with his, now tiny, body.
Kaito eyed the boy before him with concern, but he didn't seem to have felt anything. He was still sleeping soundly. Gently, Kaito moved his hand to brush the soft cheek before him before very gently leaning in to gather the little detective into his chest.
Gently rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, he smiled down at the young face of the man he loved. Carefully, he stood up, Conan securely in his arms, and smiled at the old tree before making his way up the stone steps and past the little shrine.
Feeling a little movement in his arms, Kaito looked to the head resting on his right shoulder to see Conan's forehead wrinkling in concentration, though his eyes were still shut. Smiling to himself, Kaito shook his head a little. "Always the detective, huh?"
Conan's eyes suddenly snapped open. The shrunken detective looked down over Kaito's shoulder and his eyes widened at the ground which was moving below him (though his legs weren't touching it). Spinning around, he relaxed visibly when he met Kaito's eyes, but then stiffened when it hit him what must have happened. Looking at the hand which was draped around Kaito's neck, his usual check confirmed it-he was back as Conan.
"Damn it," he muttered, not meeting Kaito's eyes.
Still holding him firmly in one arm, Kaito gently moved his other hand to softly rub Conan's back.
Despite himself, it actually felt good, and almost dragged a smile from his lips, which manifested rather in a sigh. "Guess that's the end of the 'date,' huh?" He said wryly.
Kaito stopped the massage and held Conan out before him to look him squarely in the eyes, a look of bewilderment on his face. "What are you talking about, Shin-chan? Our date isn't over yet!"
Rolling his eyes, Conan just said (in a quite patronizing tone of voice-especially funny considering his body) "Kaito, don't you think people will find it a tad bit odd to see you all over a 10-year old? Oh, and I can walk by the way…"
"Oh yeah, heh…sorry about that!" Grinning, Kaito set him gently on the ground, walking along ahead before a bright idea struck him. Quickly stooping down to Conan's eye-level, he grinned and said "Why would people find it odd for two close brothers to be affectionate?" And with this, he took the tiny hand in his much larger one, hiding it almost entirely in his grasp.
Conan rolled his eyes again, but didn't pull back. With a happy little giggle, Kaito leaned forward, nuzzling his face in the little detective's hair, free hand cradling his neck, before standing up and smiling down at the amused (and slightly annoyed) expression on his companion's face.
The two of them just walked, hand in hand, until they were at the edge of the large forest.
"Shin-chan, are you hungry?"
"Hm. I guess I could eat." What with all the day's occurrences, they hadn't eaten a thing since Kaito's pancakes that morning…and Kaito, especially, who NEVER missed meals (usually even packing snacks with him on heists!) was shocked that he hadn't felt hungry until this instant.
"Ooh, I know! There's a little old-fashioned amusement park close-by. Why don't we just go there and get something? Then we could ride the tunnel of love!" He winked down at
Conan who returned his considerations with a glare.
"I'll take that as a yes?"
"You can take it as a fine."
"Oh, Shin-chan, don't be glum! We're still together!"
"Yeah, and I come up to your waist. This isn't awkward at ALL after…"
Kaito stopped, crouched, and quickly pulled him into a tight hug.
"K-kaito! What are you doing?" Conan's voice was muffled in Kaito's shirt, but he managed to move his head from the dead-lock enough to show his confused eyes to Kaito.
"I don't care, you know. I couldn't care less how old you look, how tall you are. You're still you, dammit! Even at this size you've managed to almost catch me as KID so many times…and guess what?" He whispered into his ear, "I've been caught." He smiled at the face before him which still showed uncertainty, but looked a little softer, more relaxed. A slight smile crept onto it.
"Kaito…you might want to let go of me. Someone's going to think you're trying to suffocate a child."
"I don't care what they think," Kaito said stubbornly.
Conan just sighed and began trying to peel off the long arms wrapped around him.
"Thank you, Kaito," he said softly, looking up to genuinely smile at the thief. There it was again-that feeling he had been getting from him for so long-of acceptance, of understanding, of love. These feelings practically constituted Kaito, seemed to pour from him endlessly, and he extended them, indiscriminately, when it came to him.
Feeling Conan's body relax, Kaito finally pulled back and stood up. "Shall we, Shinichi?"
Reaching down to him, Kaito saw the slight smile that formed on Conan's lips as he slipped his little hand back into his own waiting one.
"What's wrong, Shin-chan?"
Conan didn't answer. His eyes were glued to a spot where a girl with dark purple hair had been sitting a minute ago, watching them.
"Shin-chan?"
"Oh, sorry. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"Oh, okay…don't be long, though, the food will be here soon!" At Conan's mute nod, Kaito pressed him further, "Are you sure you're alright?"
"Of course I am," Conan snapped, instantly feeling guilty for acting grouchy towards the concerned magician. "I'll be right back," he muttered, as he took off to look for the girl.
No luck, though. She didn't seem to be in the restaurant at all. He even swallowed his pride and checked the girls bathroom (using his child-persona as a cover), but all of the stalls were empty. There was no sign of her. Sighing, he decided to worry about it later.
He shouldn't keep Kaito waiting so long, after all.
When he was back in the main dining room, Kaito started waving frantically, beaming, and pointing to the plates of food now spread on their table.
Conan climbed up into the booth across from Kaito, and returned his smile.
"You okay? Your stomach wasn't hurting, was it?" Kaito's face shone with mock concern (on top of some genuine).
"What? Barou! No!" Conan felt the heat rising to his face, but at Kaito's innocent laughter, his embarrassment stopped like breaking waves.
"Sorry, sorry…you just took a while back there. I was just about to go see if you'd fallen in!"
"Oh, shut up, Kaito," Conan rolled his eyes.
Neither could keep up the banter for much longer, though, as their stomachs growled in unison, leaving both with slightly pink-tinged cheeks.
"What do you say we finish this conversation after I devour this okonomiyaki?"
"Fine. You'll need the energy to keep up with me, anyway," Conan smirked, reaching over with his chopsticks and stealing the bit of okonomiyaki Kaito was aiming for.
"HEY! You…you stole my…" Kaito trailed off, sputtering.
"Hey, I learn from the best," Conan responded, winking at the sometimes-thief.
"I'll give you that."
"So, what shall we ride next?" Conan grinned up at Kaito who looked moderately sick.
He patted him none-too-lightly on the back. "Seriously, how do get sick on an old-fashioned carnival ride when you do all that crazy crap as KID?" He hissed.
"Because...ugh...I'm in..uh...control when I'm.." Realizing this really wasn't just the thief's playing him for attention, Conan quickly guided him over to a bench before running off to get some water.
"Here, Kaito. Can you drink this?" Kaito nodded, but Conan lifted the water bottle to help him take a few sips while rubbing him gently on the back, forgetting, for the moment, how odd it would look for a 10-year-old to mollycoddle someone twice his age.
After a 20-minute break, in which Kaito had found Conan's "mini-hands" disturbingly interesting, to the point that Conan kept having to snatch them back, blushing, every few minutes, Kaito slowly stood up and stretched a little. "Aww, all better!"
"That was fast..." Conan said dully. "Are you sure you were really sick? You weren't just looking for an excuse to molest me?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked at him.
"Well...no, I really was sick! Shin-chan, don't be so quick to judge!"
"Um...I'm a detective."
"Yes, but you're having a Kaito day today, so that means no detective-ing."
Conan just rolled his eyes. "Well, just wait. We might have to have a day when you get to live the detective life. How does that sound? You could come with me to work and hang out with all your favorite policeman and detectives...we could pay Nakamori-keibu a visit, and maybe Aoko and her fish will make a guest appearance!"
Kaito's eyes just kept widening, and he started backing up... apparently, Conan had hit on the one nightmarish idea that could distract him from his constant attentions on the not-child. "Nooo!" Kaito started running dramatically away, and rolling his eyes, Conan chased after him. How long had it been since he'd run like this? Just for the fun of it? Not because he was trying to catch a criminal...though, he realized, KID was considered a criminal and he had chased him before, but...context made all the difference. He hadn't been able to relax like this in years. It was absolutely liberating, and the thought of the constricted life he'd been living with Ran for three years, always hiding his identity, made this new time with Kaito feel even more precious and astounding.
They reached a dead-end in a more private area and while Kaito was trying to figure out an escape route, Conan sped up and using his super-shoes, lunged through the air and bowled Kaito over.
Opening his eyes, Kaito saw that he was holding Conan's little form in his arms. Not quite sure what happened-the detective only ever did things like that when there was a dangerous murderer in the room-Kaito nervously looked around a little, but Conan just chuckled. Looking at him with amusement shining through his eyes, Conan said, "Now I've caught you."
"What if I don't try to escape this time? Will that make it less worth the chase?" Kaito felt as if he were drowning in the eyes staring straight down at him. Their mouths were only inches apart.
"This time, Kaitou Kid, I'll have to say no. Don't you dare try to escape." A mischievous look crept into Conan's eyes as he leaned in and teasingly let his breath move over Kaito's face. He lightly brushed his lips over his cheek before moving them to his ear. He kissed Kaito's earlobe, then lightly nibbled on it, suddenly feeling strong arms wrap around him, pulling him close roughly, quickly.
Kaito placed his hand on top of Conan's head, pushing him down so his chin could rest on the little detective's head. Their arms wound around each other's waists, and Kaito began to imitate Conan's ministrations, though beginning first with a gentle kiss on the top of his head before brushing his lips on his cheek, then moving to his ear. He lightly let his tongue explore Conan's ear-sending a powerful shudder through him-before gently biting down. Conan began to run his hands up Kaito's chest, slipping one under his shirt to rest on his warm, slightly-sweaty chest. Looking up, they locked eyes, and began to lean into each other for a kiss...
When something bumped them. A soccer ball. Suddenly, a 12-year old boy ran into the area after the ball, and Conan and Kaito quickly tried to disguise what had just been going on. The boy didn't seem to have noticed, simply taking his ball and leaving. After the boy left, though, a crowd of other people walked by. "I guess this area wasn't as private as we thought. Shall we continue elsewhere?"
Conan shook his head. "It's getting late. Why don't we get a good spot to watch the fireworks?"
"If you so desire, my love, then so it shall be." Kaito gave him a low bow, and Conan punched him lightly in the gut.
"Come on, barou."
"Is that your new affectionate name for me?"
"Maybe." Smiling up at him, he gave him a little wink before slipping his hand, once again, into Kaito's.
As the fireworks began, a bright idea struck Kaito. "Wait here, Shin-chan!"
"Huh? Where are you going?"
"You'll see! I'll be back before you know it!" And before Conan could utter another complaint, Kaito vanished in the darkness. A strange hollow feeling swallowed him the instant Kaito was no longer within eyesight. Was he really getting that dependent on the thief? He could no longer deny his feelings for Kaito, but they'd only just begun this relationship, if you could call it that…
He saw it again, but this time he knew he wasn't seeing things. Purple hair flashed by, and even in the darkness he recognized the girl he'd seen in his dream that day a year ago.
Without another thought, Conan took off after her, weaving between crowds and ducking under railings. What was the name Kaito had said? Oh that's right… "Akako-san!" As soon as her name left his lips, the figure stopped. Slowly, she turned to face him, a knowing smile on her face.
He found it to be quite an obnoxious sight after she'd dragged him all over the damn place…well, okay, he'd chased her, but still…it's not like she'd had to run! "You know my name, do you, tantei-san? Or should I say, Kudou Shinichi?"
"Could you not use that name out loud here?" He hissed. "An amusement park isn't totally private, you know…"
"And why should I care about something like that?"
"I should be asking you the same thing," Conan shot back. "Tell me…I have to know. What exactly you did to me…and why? You've never met me before… it must have to do with Kaito, but from what he told me, it didn't seem likely that you would do something that would help him love someone else. You want his affection for yourself, don't you?"
Akako just gave him an enigmatic smile before waving one finger back and forth. "Now, now, Kudou-kun. Don't talk about things you don't fully understand. That's one of your detective rules, isn't it?"
"Hm. Hardly. The rule I go by is to seek out the one truth, and if that means I need to first prod with questions which don't quite hit the mark, than that's fine by me."
"I see…well, I suppose, since you went and gave yourself a workout to speak with me, I'll answer you directly. Though I must say, I was hoping for a glimpse of your older self…but you two have been overly private, and I wasn't about to show myself with Kuroba-kun around. He's too much trouble as it is, and my magic doesn't affect him, anyway…"
Suddenly smiling, and eying him with a triumphant look, she said "But it DOES, in fact, seem to affect you. What do you say, Kudou Shinichi? I could turn you back to your true self right now-for good-if you'll just agree to be my love slave." She winked in what she obviously thought to a seductive motion.
Conan couldn't have been more grossed out. "I think I'll pass on that offer. Sorry, but as odd as it feels to say it, I have someone else, now…and he doesn't care if I stay as Conan. You can take away your spell. I'm not sure what your motives were, but I'd rather not be tied to some damning terms you conveniently forget to mention."
"Well, well, well. Kuroba-kun sure found himself an impertinent one. What if I were to tell you, detective, that I have, as you suggested, been looking for a creative way to control Kuroba-kun for a while, since he can block my magic… well, it hit me…all I have to do is use someone else, and controlling his fate should be a piece of cake…"
Conan didn't like the sound of that. "What do you mean? You're saying you're using me to get to Kaito?" His voice suddenly increased in volume, and he, out of habit, positioned his hand on his watch gun.
"Hohoho! No need to be so angry, child. After all, you've enjoyed yourself, haven't you? Hasn't it felt like true love?"
He froze suddenly. "What? What are you getting at?"
"I'm saying, Kudou Shinichi, that I put you under a spell-a spell so that you would fall for the illustrious Kaitou Kid. You see, I knew about his feelings for you, already. It was so clear how much happier he became when you started showing up for heists, and then that night when you took down the black organization…"
"How do you know about that?"
"Oh, let's just say I have a friend…Lucifer…who tells me things. Well, anyway, I'd never seen him so anxious as he was the weeks heading up to your infiltration of the place. I realize he could have just been nervous about the infiltration itself, but I don't think that was the case. After all, two days before the attack, he looked more sleep-deprived than usual and fell asleep in class. And you know what he muttered? 'No! tantei-kun! Please, don't hurt him! Shi-' Before the teacher could smack him awake with a ruler. Does that give you an idea?"
Conan was shocked. All that time ago-Kaito had already felt that strongly for him? He suddenly began to feel that his own feelings were very scattered, immature, confused-particularly in contrast to the loyal and long-lived feelings of the thief. And what had Akako said? She had caused him to return his feelings? Why would she do that?
"Because I was starting to get annoyed with the changes I saw coming over dear Kuroba-kun," she responded to his unvoiced thoughts. "He'd always been so easy for me to figure out, but more and more, he started acting serious…morose…he was obviously love-sick, and it was making me sick. How was I supposed to carry out my usual plans to make him my slave when I felt…sorry for him? When he was acting so weak? That wouldn't be a fair fight, for me to impose my magic on him in that state, so I decided to go for the source instead…"
Conan's head was spinning over her concept of what was fair or right, but the way she was talking seemed to fit moderately well with the idea Kaito had given him about her-controlling, manipulative and interested in her power prevailing over his…But was she serious in suggesting that she had orchestrated everything? That she had intended for him to fall for…or to…accept Kaito's advances? Had his own feelings been her creation, then? Did that have to do with the horrible lack of spark he felt with Ran?
"Bingo," she said sinisterly. "This love was my creation, Kudou Shinichi. But poor Kuroba-kun...his feelings are sincere, and yet you've been leading him on. Best to drop him, now, before you can hurt him further. Before you confess under the influence of my power!" At this, she began her high-pitched, creepy laughter all over again.
Conan's world was spinning. It couldn't be…what about before? Before that day with Akako? Hadn't he felt something then? In the current context, he couldn't think straight enough to be sure at all. Had it really…all…been an illusion?
"Don't worry about Kuroba-kun, detective. Once you give him up, I'll make sure he's well…taken care of."
Conan felt anger boiling up in his chest. "You bitch. Taking advantage of people, toying with their hearts! You…"
"Blame me all you want to, but I'm only responsible for the initial push. Your mind hasn't been under my control, after all. It's not even impossible that many of your feelings are genuine…but if you have any doubts, it would be better that you stop dragging Kuroba-kun around. He's been through enough, wouldn't you say?"
"Yes, I would…so why would you do this to him?"
He had never felt such anger before…as if his body were made up nothing but a hot, hard substance, slowly working its way to his head. He wished his gaze had the power to bore holes in her…the unfairness of it all…he had no idea what was up or down or right or wrong…all he knew was that this person had played with him…had played with Kaito.
He was hurt to an extent, but just what would he do about Kaito? The face of the thief flashed before him, and his heart felt ready to cry out and break through his ribcage, it was pounding so painfully.
Akako watched him intently, and a little smile settled on her face at the fire in his eyes. "You might be okay, after all. Let me show you-as a special favor to help you work things out, I'll release my hold on you. I'll be around to see how things develop. Ta-tah for now!"
And with a spin, she vanished…Right as frantic, hurried footsteps came pounding up from behind. "S-Shin -chan? Is that you?" Conan didn't turn around, but Kaito crouched down and hugged him from behind.
"You weren't where I told you to stay, and I…I thought maybe the sniper had come back or…" Suddenly noticing something odd about the tension in Conan's body...not to mention in the lack of response he was giving him, he leaned in a little closer. "Shin-chan? What's wrong? Are you okay? Hey, answer me, Shinichi!" Starting to really freak out at the comatose silence coming from the shrunken detective, Kaito grabbed his shoulders and shook him, a little too roughly.
"Oh, sorry, Shin-chan, did I hurt you?" He made to pull him into another embrace, but Conan backed away. "Shi-Shinichi?"
Conan's eyes were once again clouded, dull, dead-looking. Something was seriously wrong. He wouldn't even meet Kaito's eyes. "Kaito…I am so sorry…but I can't return your feelings."
Kaito felt as if a knife had gone through his heart. Had literally sliced him open.
Swallowing, he tried, frantically, to hold onto what scraps of poker-face remained at his disposal. "Silly, you remember what I said. I don't care if you can't return my feelings, as long as you stay by my…"
"I can't, Kaito. At least not right now. I'm very confused and I need some time alone to think. There are a lot of things I need to clear up."
"But why do we have to be apart? Why can't you let me help you? Together I bet we can figure it out, and then neither of us has to…"
"No. I can't see you, Kaito, and it would be better for you not to see me."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? How would you know what's better for me? I told you-my feelings are clear, and I get that you are in a different position, but the things that have happened between us-how can you just ignore them? Are you just going to pretend they never happened? Answer me, Shinichi!" The pain in Kaito's voice was so raw that Conan felt his determination almost crumble, but he made a fist and turned, desperately throwing in his last resort.
"It was a spell, Kaito. I was under a magic spell. My feelings weren't real-and now the spell is gone, and I can't see you anymore. It's just going to be more painful until I can figure out what was real and what was... And you. I know how real your feelings are. That's why I can't stand to have you around me. Please, Kaito! Please just leave me alone and go back to your life!"
Kaito tried, desperately, to make eye contact, but the eyes which looked back at him were full of pain, of doubt...but they were dead serious. As the full impact of his words really hit him, Kaito collapsed on the ground in front of Conan. Crouching on all fours, poker-face lost long before, he let his tears fall onto the grass below.
Conan felt an incredible pull to turn around and comfort him, to tell him it was a lie, that he loved him and had never meant to hurt him…but he was too certain that that would be a lie. Would merely postpone the inevitable. He must just be feeling the after-effects of the spell...
Conan simply started to walk away, leaving Kaito still clutching desperately to blades of grass. At the retreating footsteps, however, Kaito leapt up, almost tripping over his feet to catch up with the man in a boy's body. "Shinichi, wait!"
"I'm going back to stay with Ran. You go home, too, Kaito," he said without looking at him.
Kaito slowly nodded. "At least let me bring you home!"
"I'll take a taxi. Goodbye, Kaito."
And he forced himself forward away from him, only vaguely aware of the tears which were flowing, unremittingly, down his cheeks.
There was suddenly a loud Pop! sound. Turning around in surprise, he saw it was the sound of the park's nightly fireworks starting up. But they were different...A dramatic and beautiful display of fire-roses and hearts blanketed the sky before an elaborate and astounding set of fireworks began to shoot out words: Shinjitsu wa itsumo hitotsu.
Conan almost felt as if his heart would stop. Looking around, he frantically searched for
Kaito...but he was already gone. As a fresh wave a tears overtook him, Conan whispered,
"You're right, Kaito. How could I have forgotten? Shinjitsu wa itsumo hitotsu. And I'll be the one to figure out the truth."
I know it's sad, but DON'T WORRY! This is not the end of KAISHIN...as I believe is hinted at well enough, anyway. ALSO, Akako might not be as bad as she's acting here...again, I'm writing this story as it comes to me, so I don't have anything totally laid-out, but there's more to the Akako story than this...because I have her painted a little one-sidedly here, perhaps.
Anyway, this was a slight turn-around to move the plot forward, but I hope you it! Again, not so fluff-y, but you know...they can't ALL be that way.
Thanks for reading and please, please REVIEW!
Thanks!
tess4aria
