Author's note: Thank you ImperiumWife and HIMYM Lovah for your reviews! The idea for this chapter (and for the next one) came from HIMYM Lovah's suggestion, so I'm dedicating it to her (:


Chapter Seven - Dig Deeper

The wait was driving them crazy. Maybe it hadn't even been that long, but the kids had to know how the story ended and Ted wouldn't say one more word until Robin arrived. Was all this really about Robin? Was that the reason why he wanted her to come over? Sure, he claimed she'd invited herself, but the kids knew that he was lying, that he'd asked her to come over. Why? That was the real question.

"Sorry, I came as fast as I could!" Robin exclaimed as she calmly entered the house, receiving an eye roll from the kids. They didn't need to look too closely to know that she'd actually taken as long as she could. It seemed like she also didn't want to tell them the story, and that couldn't be a good sign. "So... Ted told me you're on the story of... Barney's arrest. That's a... That's a very good one!" She awkwardly commented.

The just kids stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to say, and Ted jumped in to try to save her, only then realizing what kind of situation he might have thrown Robin into. "I was just about to tell them why Barney and I were in a fight. Maybe you'd care to, you know, pitch in?" A little push in the right direction couldn't hurt, right?

"Oh, uhm... Right, I think I remember how it all began..."

Robin was about to launch into the story when the kids shook their heads, indicating that they didn't want to hear it. Yes, they were curious, but what was more important now for them was to know more about the main storyline, to know how it ended. "We want to know what happens next in the story." Leia explained, putting on one of her sweetest tones to try to get her aunt to tell them what their father was so reluctant to. Robin was a tough person, surely she could handle it?

Seeing the almost pleading look Ted was shooting her, she gave the kids a bit of a suspicious smile and sat down across from them. "How about this, I'll tell you kids about the first time I went to visit Barney." Neither Leia nor Luke looked completely convinced of that idea, but she received no word of protest, and that was good enough for her. After a quick glance at Ted just to confirm that she could tell them this story, Robin got started on her chapter. "It was just a few days after your father's visit..."


Ever since she'd decided that she would come to visit Barney, Robin had been feeling very anxious, but she never imagined that when it came down to it, she would feel that strongly about it. The problem was that she wasn't anxious in the sense that she was looking forward to it. No, she just had no idea what to expect from this visit, she had no idea what kind of behavior to expect from Barney, and it wasn't just because he was in jail, but also because of the last day they'd spent with each other...

It was a night like any other, and the five of them were hanging out at MacLaren's, drinking and having fun. Originally, they'd been celebrating something - Barney's laser tag championship victory, maybe? - but they'd long since forgotten about it, and truth to be told, it hadn't even been that important to begin with, just another excuse to do what they usually did.

"Guys, I have an announcement to make." Barney said as he returned from scouting the bar, using a tone that already alerted everyone of the fact that he was going to say something he, and probably only he, deemed important. "There just aren't any hot women in this bar. Not even married hot women! Not even lesbian hot women! They're all just... Gone!"

Robin rolled her eyes at her friend and gestured for him to sit down. She'd had to listen to his complaints about this for what seemed like an eternity before Marshall, Lily and Ted arrived, and by now her patience was running really short. "It's one night, Barney. Just sit down and find something else to distract yourself with!" She had no idea how much she'd later come to regret those words.

As the night progressed, Barney seemed to try and get closer and closer to Robin, and seeing that she didn't back away, he started getting a bit more daring. At first, he was just shy and tentative, as if he were asking her permission, but as she reciprocated, he started to take it to the next level. They kept on talking to their friends, trying to pretend like nothing was going on, though they were visibly more distracted and there were some unexplainable reactions from the two of them. However, everyone was too distracted and too drunk to actually notice anything.

When the next day came and Barney woke up on Robin's bed, though, they weren't so lucky.

That was what began the long story that was Ted's fight with Barney, and Robin couldn't ignore that she'd been the element that started everything, just like she'd been what tore their relationship apart on Ted's thirtieth birthday. Things had been so strained between the two friends after the first round of the fight that Robin had just avoided being in the same room as them, and as a result, it'd been several weeks since she'd seen Barney.


"Okay, fine." Leia said, sighing. It seemed like they really had to know what the fight had been about to understand the story, and though she really wanted the plot to progress, it seemed like they'd have to backtrack a little. "Tell us about the fight."

Ted and Robin glanced at Luke for confirmation and, though he didn't seem very pleased with the idea of switching stories, he nodded. "Okay." Ted began, shifting uncomfortably on his seat. "So... Barney and Robin sleeping together again really was what started it all, but the problem was that I... I may have overreacted when I talked, well, screamed at Barney about it, and I may have said some things that were a bit out of line..." The memory of the things he'd said to his best friend in the heat of the moment made Ted wince. He remembered it all too clearly, the look of hurt on Barney's face, the way it didn't even make him feel bad until months later, even the exact words he'd said. But there was no need for Luke and Leia to know what had transpired in details, so he wouldn't tell them.

"Barney was hurt, very hurt, and the way he dealt with it only made things worse: he tried to get back at me in any way he could. He screwed me over with work things, he stole dates from me, he played tricks on me... Most of the time he didn't even really realize it, he thought it was just his normal behavior, but I didn't know that. I was already close to snapping completely at Barney when the worst happened..."


It wasn't really all that surprising that Heather wasn't at MacLaren's, where Ted had told her they should meet. What was surprising was where he actually found her. "Barney! Out! Now!" He hissed, deviating his eyes from the scene. When he didn't hear the sound of people moving around, he screamed: "Now!"

"Ted, this is my apartment!" Barney protested, though he already started putting on pants and staggering towards the door, knowing that he was probably not going to get to continue and that Ted was not going to leave him alone. And he was right. Ted wasn't sure whether Barney had texted him to come over with the intent of having him see this or if he'd just forgotten that he had people coming over when he picked up Heather, but either way, Ted was furious and he was not leaving.

"Out!" When he heard the door closing, he followed after Barney, rage making him skip the lecture that had already formed in his mind about how stupid Heather had been to fall into Barney's trap. He couldn't even really think about his sister individually, his mind was stuck on what had just happened. "That's my sister! What the hell are you doing?"

"Your sister? Ted, there's no way that's your hot sister..." Suddenly, Barney's eyes grew wide and he seemed to start to panic a bit. "Ted, that's your hot sister Heather! I didn't mean to... I didn't know..."

However, Ted wasn't listening. "This is it, Barney! You're the most immature, selfish and... And hypocritical person I've ever met! Isn't this breaking one of your stupid rules? You know, I took a lot from you these last few weeks, I let you screw me over time and again - I lost thirteen job offers, thirteen! - but this is the limit, Barney! You're always looking for it, and now you found it!"

This went on for several hours, but Barney hardly ever fought back, he just tried to apologize or to end the fight. Ted, however, didn't even notice his friend's unusual behavior, he just took advantage of it to take the fight to places where it normally would never have gone. Even this fight, though, couldn't last forever and it was after one of the few times Barney tried to fight back that the words were finally said. "No, Barney, don't 'Ted, bro' me. We're... We're not bros and we're not friends anymore."


Like it had when Ted told the kids what Barney was being charged with, silence took over the room. Even Robin, who already knew the story and hadn't been really involved in the fight, became more quiet, adapting to the new atmosphere of the room. The kids had a strong reaction when Ted told them the story of his thirtieth birthday, too, but this one seemed worse somehow, maybe because they knew what had happened soon after their fight.

"And how did your visit go, Aunt Robin?" Luke asked, breaking the silence.

Ted noticed that for once, there were no questions or comments about the story he'd told, and he knew that it meant something, but he said nothing about it, he just let Robin take over once again, glad that the kids were focusing on her now. "Well..."


Now, there was no running away from it, and Robin knew that. The fences had been mended between the two friends, so she didn't have an excuse not to come anymore - not that it'd ever even been a real excuse. Besides, she couldn't imagine how disappointed Barney would be if he got there and there was no one waiting for him. She had to stay there, she had to face him. What did Robin have to be afraid of, anyway? The worst that could happen was for Barney to blame her for his big fight with Ted, which was already over and done with, so he couldn't be that angry anymore.

She was stuck in her mental argument with herself, trying to figure out why she felt so uncomfortable with the idea of talking to Barney, when he walked in. Robin raised her eyes to see him, anxious to know how he was, and she was actually relieved by what she saw. She'd been expecting to find him like Ted had, in that very un-Barney state that he'd described, but he seemed to be back to himself and, clothing aside, he looked just like always had - that is, until he walked closer to her and she was able to see the bruise on his face. "What happened?" She asked, forgetting that he couldn't hear her. When he raised an eyebrow at her and picked up the phone, Robin laughed silently at herself and followed the suit. "What happened, Barney?"

"Didn't Ted tell you?" He frowned, a bit confused. After a second, though, he realized what Robin was talking about and he raised his hand to touch the bruise almost in instinct. "Oh, that? I guess I won a bet I wasn't supposed to. Anyway, Robin... How are things on the outside world? Have you been a good wingwoman for Ted?" There was something there, something he was trying to hide, and Robin knew that.

"We've all been a bit too busy for dates, Barney." For the last few days, all they'd done in their free time, and sometimes even at work, was try to find a loophole or anything else that would get Barney out of this. They all woke up and had breakfast while debating and researching, and when they came home from work, they picked up where they left off. Every time they tried to do something fun to distract themselves a bit, they just couldn't do it. But of course, she wouldn't tell Barney just how seriously they were taking this, she knew that even if he wouldn't show it, he'd be worried about them, and that wasn't what she wanted. "Now come on, Barney, spill it. What's the real story behind that bruise?"

"First the police, then Ted, now you... Why do people always assume I'm hiding something?" Barney seemed truly puzzled by that. "I'm not hiding anything, Robin. Sometimes a bruise is just a bruise, you know?" His tone showed every little bit of his annoyance.

Robin was ready to give up, to just let it be and change the subject, when she remembered what she and the gang had talked about before she came here. All they knew about life in prison was what they'd seen on TV and heard throughout their lives, and every conception they had of it might be wrong, but if it was right, then Barney just wasn't cut out for it. Maybe he had the wits to survive there, but everything else? Everyone was afraid of what might happen to him if he made the wrong enemies.

"You know, Barney..." Robin wasn't sure if this would work, because she knew very well that Barney never slept with the same girl twice, though he had broken that rule with her, but it was the best card she had to play. If there was one thing that would get Barney to talk, it'd be something like that. "I like a man who can fight." She twirled her hair between her fingers, wondering if Barney knew that this part was really true. "But you what I like even more than that? Hearing their stories."

Despite the fact that even if he wanted to sleep with Robin again he couldn't, not until he was out of prison, Barney fell for it. A thousand thoughts seemed to flash into his mind at the same time, and it took him a few seconds to sort them out, but in the end, he caved. "Alright, alright... No one can resist hearing my awesome adventures. Here's what happened..."