Disclaimer; Nothing is gained with this story. Just a lot of love from my lovely readers :D

A/N: So here is the long chapter I promised :) Thank you so much for the reviews :) I'm estatic that people actually like this :) Anyways, we are reaching the LWW time line, next chapter offical start! This is kind of a filler, but I reckon it's necessary for the progress of the story. But enough yapping I'm going to let you read this chapter without further ado!

Title from song All I Want by Kate Earl.

The Sleeping Dreams Of Four-Year-Olds

Trying to go back to our normal day routine was harder than I thought it'd be. Especially since I realized that there was nothing 'normal' left to hold on to. Our schools were shut down, because not only was St. Finbars destroyed now, Hendon House was well on his way as well. And I found myself clinging to the minimum amount of normalcy I could find. And that was dreaming. To dream was my getaway and if it were up to me I'd hide in bed all day long and just pretend everything was different. That there was no war and I could hear my parents, happy, downstairs. That I would have days filled with school, even though I could do without but it was a part of my normal day life, laughter, the Pevensies and in particular Peter. And despite the fact that the latter was somehow the truth, it didn't make up for the rest.

Peter and I were something else yes, but we weren't something truly recognizable yet. Or maybe it was just me. But whatever it was, I had my doubts and insecurities that were being fuelled over and over again and I had no other choice but to succumb to the consequences those insecurities brought me.

Who'd thought I'd yearn for the days when I was only a child.

Simplicity was the word I'd use to describe those days. There was nothing to worry about but to make sure I didn't make a mess out of my clothes. Nowadays I had trouble keeping myself from becoming a mess. In fact, how do you keep a mess from turning into another mess? Especially since that mess was me? My whole life I had been sheltered from trouble, problems, and once I turned seventeen disaster struck and every aspect of my life was turned upside down. Not only did I found out that the marriage my parents had was a lie, I also found out that once dad was coming back he was leaving us. For her. Catherine.

It was one thing to keep this from me, and it was one thing different when you find out that your father wouldn't be around anymore and not because he died, but because he chose a different family. He turned his back on my mother and I. And thinking that I'd be 'fine' with it, that I wouldn't protest or put my foot down was one big stupid mistake.

I had many flaws. I held grudges, ones that I wouldn't easily forgive, I'd pick certain moments of the day when peoples guards were down and abuse it. I was selfish and wanted to keep my loved ones near me. I didn't want to share. In general I was deceitful and not a nice young lady at all. Yet, I was forgiven every single time one of my flaws were too prominent. And this was exactly what I meant with being sheltered. I was being held back from the consequences. I never had to deal with the aftermath before. And now, I was right smack in the middle of it and I had no bloody idea how to deal with it. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to fall apart and practically lie on the floor and pull out my hair.

And now I actually had the space to deal with the aftermath, I chose to withdraw my decisions and pull back and run as far as possible. Currently, I was still running.

And I wasn't going to stop until I fell.

Physically I was alright and sometimes I found myself wishing for a physical wound or any indication of the mental torture I was going through, but then again, I was content that no one could see the obvious marks. I'd be under constant scrutiny for the rest of my life. It was hard to ignore my mother's overprotection but I did not say one word, especially because now I knew that we only had each other left as a family. Worst part, I was watching my family fall apart and all I could do was stand and watch. I reckon my dreams were much better when I was only four years old.

I had Peter under constant surveillance. For a lack of a better term. My eyes were constantly following his every move, which exasperated him, but I was so bloody scared something was going to happen and we'd be separated again. The thought frightened me out of my wits. At least Lucy had her age to use as an excuse to explain why she was so clingy. I couldn't even say that he was my beau because not even a young girl of my age spend so much time with her beau as I did with Peter. I knew that Mrs. Pevensie was worried about that, since I'd be near Peter since the break of dawn till late in the evening. But the idea of not knowing where Peter was in the few hours we needed sleep tortured me and I found myself studying the ceiling at night, lost, not knowing what to do or how to kill time.

I couldn't sleep. For every time I'd close my eyes and I'd see Celeste die all over again.

I think she broke a record with the dying part. No one died that many times as she did in my dreams. I still was afraid for the air raids, especially since they occurred more often. I had been pushed into the tiny shelter, avoiding bricks and lost pieces of concrete. I reckon sleepless nights were turning into a habit. Did you know it only took fourteen days to create a new habit? I was down to twelve now. Two more to go.

"Allie! Hurry up!" Edmund pounded on the bathroom door.

Had I told you that our house was damaged in the last air raid and we were now staying with the Pevensies for a little while? Honestly, it made things easier to keep an eye out for a certain Pevensie. Especially since he was so bent on trying to fix everything that was either remotely malfunctioning or just plain broken. What was it with men and trying to fix everything? You can't fix everything, you can't make everything the way you want it to be. You can try and fail trying. That was the whole purpose of trying to fix things.

I opened the bathroom door and pursed my lips and eyed the shorter Pevensie with a tired look. Honestly, was it that hard to be patient?

"Took you long enough." He muttered lowly as he pushed his way inside the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I blinked sluggishly. I was becoming slow with my whole energy level being so low.

I moved to Susan's and Lucy's bedroom and knocked on the door until I got the permission to enter. Lucy and Susan were both done with showering and dressing and Susan was combing Lucy's hair as they sat on the bed. Outside the rain was pounding and I let out a deep sigh before I sat down on the empty bed. I was able to fall asleep here. I was that tired.

"You look exhausted, didn't you sleep Allie?" Susan asked and I shook my head.

"Not really, couldn't sleep because of the storm! It was brutal last night." Lucy nodded and I recollected some of the fear that hovered on her face. The same fear that was inside of me, not a few hours ago.

"It was horrid." Lucy agreed. "I hate lightening."

"It's not that bad." Susan disagreed.

"That's easy for you to say." Lucy huffed. "You are not afraid of anything!"

"I beg to differ, Lu." I replied. "Susan is afraid of something, but she's horribly secretive about it!" Lucy turned her eyes back to her sister.

"But why? Everyone is afraid of something." She turned to me. "Allie, what are you afraid of?"

"Me?" I reacted. "Well, by Jove. I don't know! I'm not quite fond of the dark." I admitted.

"That's an irrational fear, Allie." Susan countered. "Besides, didn't you just say that you were afraid of the lightening." I shook my head, clouded by own judgement.

"Not particularly because of the lightening. I'm more afraid of what it reminds me of." I admitted carefully. Susan gave me a long stare before her eyes softened and she nodded.

"Well, that's understandable." She reasoned. "Perhaps, you could tell us?" She asked. I shook my head.

"No, leave it be! It's not that important. Besides weren't we talking about your fears?" I asked Susan. She coloured slightly as I turned the subject back to her.

"Why are the two of you so interested?" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh Su!" I began. "Lu and I need something to hold against you! You can't be perfect all the time!" Lucy sniggered behind her hands and Susan dropped the comb on the bed and gave Lucy a pointed glare.

"Honestly, you two!" She started. "I'm not perfect."

"No!" Lucy drawled. "You just think you are!" I let out a laugh and lay down on the bed again as the banter continued between the two Pevensies.

As my head lay on the soft pillow. The warmth of the room seeping in, I couldn't help but think back to the past few days. Since we now had nothing to do but hang about the house and since Peter was trying to help out in neighbourhood, I stayed in mostly. I practised the piano mostly. Keeping myself on my toes. Tried not to crack the eggshells I was walking on. It was starting to become an habit. Peter barely reacted on anything I did. He was sweet and caring. But for some reason it was all superficial. And the nearer I drew to him, the further he backed away. Or sort of speak. I knew that what had happened had scared him, but I reckoned he'd at least be pushing himself towards me. Instead, I felt the distance between the two of us more than usual. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I really cared for him. And I knew he felt the same way. Call me empathic, but it was more than jealousy when Peter had snapped at Floyd during my first day at Hendon House. And it was most certainly more when he tried to distract me with random stories when the two of us were hiding at Finchley Station during the air raid. Maybe I knew him better than he knew himself. Perhaps that's why Peter was pulling away, because I was acting out the exact emotions he was feeling. Only he had no room to act out, so he turned his attention to something he could do.

Men had this eerie fascination with anything that they could fix.

I shifted my position on the bed and I could hear Susan and Lucy quietly leave the room as I got comfortable again. Despite the constant tinkling of the rain against the window pane, the wind howling as it clashed with the trees and other objects that stood in its way, I was able to calm down. Take a breather. I was on the border of drifting off.

There were crashes again. They were loud as the sounds echoed in the small, dark room. The lack of space made the distance of those crashes smaller. I could feel the faint wisps of dust on my fair skin, the small pieces of concrete as they crushed themselves around my surroundings. I moved to my left, my hands completely leading the way in the this pitch black darkness. It wasn't as if it was dark. It was mostly, blurry. Like I wasn't wearing any glasses.

Even though I didn't even need glasses it felt like that.

I had no control over my vision not to mention my movements. I was like a puppet, held up my strings as I was thrown into the middle of all the chaos. The hectic surroundings didn't make things easier, in fact, the opposites. I shrieked as another wisp of dust washed over me and I stumbled to the ground. Expecting the dirty floor, when suddenly I fell into a deeper pit. One I couldn't stop. One I kept falling.

My eyes snapped open with a gasp and I frantically looked around. I was in Lucy and Susan's room. I let out a deep breath. Not again! I turned around and pulled my knees to my stomach. My dress hiked up, but I couldn't care less about that. I pressed the side of my face deeper into the pillow. The softness giving me more comfort than the gloom weather could ever give me.

It was just another nightmare. I had those on a nightly bases actually. It was something I was getting used to. If only the consequences were something I got used to. I didn't want to be tired all this time. I didn't want to feel like everything was spinning out of control. This downwards spiral I felt I was in was taking too much time and I rather have it cut the nonsense and just simply tore me down immediately. I couldn't bear the dramatics. I had fits, temper tantrums mostly. Ones that were often directed to Peter because he knew exactly what to do and say to get under my skin. But surely, he wasn't the only one. My agitation with my mother was a big factor as well.

These days I was constantly on edge and who could possibly blame me?

A soft hand rested on my side and I jumped. "Easy there!" Peter's voice penetrated my eardrums and I let out a soft breath of relieve. "You alright?" He questioned and I nodded.

"I'm good." I responded and I lay down on the bed again, for some reason highly aware of his hand on my waist, it was itching towards the swell of my hips. "What time is it?"

"Past one o'clock. Mum told me to wake you up because we were going to eat lunch soon." Peter answered. "Did you have a nice sleep? Su told me not to wake you up." I shrugged.

"Well enough, I suppose." Peter frowned at my words. His blue eyes piercing in this light.

"What does that mean?" He questioned. I shrugged in response and Peter let out a sigh. "You do look knackered, love." I huffed, sitting up straight now so I could face Peter properly. He was perched on the edge of the bed and to my surprise the door was closed.

"You really do know how to flatter a girl, don't you?" I retorted coolly. Peter gave me a grin.

"I do my best." He responded and he bent towards me, giving me a small kiss. For some reason he was being the exact opposite of his behaviour the past couple of days. Normally I had to initiate the kisses. Who was this Peter and what did he do to my Peter?

But of course I was weak when he kissed me and I let myself be drawn towards him. His scent swirling around me, as if it was forming a cocoon. I put my hands around his neck, pulling him closer to me as I created a gap before taking the risk and deepening the kiss. Peter's hand were on my waist and the back of my neck when suddenly one of his hands moved downwards, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. I found myself lost in his touch and I could feel a part of me yearn for more. See how far this could go, but I had to back track, and as much of a disappointment that was to me. Propriety wasn't something I could forget.

I gently pulled away. "Sorry." He apologized. "I reckon I got carried away."

"Oh, don't apologize. You weren't the only one participating." I responded and I loved the lopsided grin he gave to me as a reaction.

"You do look tired though." Peter said softly as he brushed away a strand of hair. I sighed.

"I'll be good." I said firmly. "But tell me, how are you?" I traced the bump on his forehead. "Does it hurt?" I gently put pressure on the bump.

"Barely." He said. "The worst is gone." I nodded. He sighed and rested his chin on my shoulder. "I just get these migraines." I frowned.

"Perhaps you should go to a doctor? It might be an indication of something serious." Peter pulled back and gave me a hard stare.

"I get migraines because Edmund keeps pestering me." I rolled my eyes.

"You know, you could try being nice to your brother." I pointed out. "It wouldn't do you any harm. As a matter of fact it will do you more good than harm." Peter scoffed.

"He's an immature little bugger. He's only interested in turning this whole house upside down." Peter said roughly. "He's a beast, especially with Lucy. Just because she's the youngest." I sighed.

"Don't be so harsh on him. He's just a boy." I said softly. "He has a hard time adjusting, that's all."

"To what?" I gave him a pointed look.

"You know what Pete." I muttered. "Things haven't been real easy the past couple of months. With the war." Peter shrugged and I could see the emotion in his eyes.

"He never was like this when Dad was still around." I rested my forehead against his, momentarily closing my eyes.

"I reckon he misses him." I responded.

"Well so do I!" Peter confessed. "But it's not like we have a choice."

"I know!" I said empathetically and I brushed away a strand of hair from him eyes. "You're hair is getting long." Peter shrugged. I ruffled it gently. "What are our plans for today?"

"Nothing specific." Peter said. "I reckon mum needs a few things so we might need to go get some groceries."

"Oh!" I mumbled. Now that was something I really wasn't looking forward to. "Can't we ask Nellie to get them?" I asked referring to my mother's housekeeper.

Peter frowned at me. "Allie, they're just groceries. If you don't want to tag along then don't! I can get them myself."

"Right, well. I might take you up on that!" I said quickly and I got on my feet, moving towards the door.

"Allie?" I ignored Peter calling out my name.

XXXXXXXXXXX

It took Peter less than an hour to return with the necessary groceries that had increased since there were two more people in the house. There was a part of me that didn't want to leave, but since Peter started to become suspicious of my behaviour I had no trouble steering clear from him. Hearing from others what he did and where he went was well enough. At least I was able to keep an eye on him that way without physically facing him. If I could avoid that, than I was all game. This small childish intermezzo had me turn for the worse and I was quite surprised with myself that I was able to do such a thing.

Air raids were getting far too frequent and our mothers had put a ban on us leaving the house, unless it was completely necessary. But since they always had excuses to keep us inside we didn't quite have a choice but remain put. Being cooped up in a house was starting to get on everyone's nerves. People tend to get easily agitated and that was exactly the case here. Edmund was the worst. He lashed out to everyone, and picked on Lucy constantly. It was incredibly annoying to see Edmund be a little pest and make Lucy cry. Peter would always react and that would end up in a fight as well. And if either Susan or I decided to interrupt his anger would be directed towards us, which would cause another fight.

It seemed that all we were doing these days was fight.

I rubbed my forehead tiredly and rested my head against Susan's shoulder as she was reading. We were in the living room and Edmund and Lucy were already arguing. Their voices loud as they both kept picking at each other.

"Oh for pity sake, Edmund! Could you just shut up?" I suddenly snapped. Edmund turned his dark eyes to me and I could see the indignation in those dark orbs.

"Why don't you mind your own business." He spat angrily and he crossed his arms like a petulant little child.

"Edmund!" Susan admonished. "She's right. Leave Lucy alone!" Edmund huffed angrily before spinning on his heel and trotting out of the room. Lucy heaved a deep sigh and she crossed the room to our side. She snuggled next to me and I gave her a small embrace.

"Come on Lu. Cheer up!" I tried and she gave me a watery smile. "Alright, that's it! Someone needs to have a talk with Edmund, cause this can't go on forever." Susan nodded slowly.

"I could talk to my mum." She proposed and I shook my head.

"I'll go talk to him." I got up.

"You reckon that's a good idea?" She asked cautiously and I shrugged.

"We'll see soon enough." I said and I moved out of the room, up the stairs.

Honestly, I wasn't quite sure what I was doing. All I knew was that I had enough of all the fighting, but I couldn't say much of course. Since I was an instigator myself when it came to Peter. The two of us had more fights in the few days than what we had in a month. I already was on my last nerve and so was Peter but it was as if I couldn't help it. His current fascination with the war was pushing me to no end. Not to mention he just knew what to say to get under my skin. The two of us were like fire and ice. One minute things could be perfectly alright and the next we'd be ignoring each other.

I was getting a migraine because of it.

But I suppose this was the aftermath of being locked up in a house. No fresh air had reached our lungs, I reckon we were bound to get a bit loopy.

I could hear loud voices as I moved through the hall when I recognized it to be Peter. He was shouting, that was obvious, but his words were muffled because of the closed door. I frowned and moved closer to his room when suddenly the door was pulled open and an angry Peter slammed into me. I gasped and he grabbed hold of my shoulders to keep me from falling.

"Pete, what's going on?" I demanded as he threw a glare to his room before quickly descending the stairs. I frowned and turned to the bedroom, I could see Mrs. Pevensie there and I quickly turned around descending the stairs as well as I tried to catch up with Peter. He was moving quickly through the kitchen to the backdoor when I realized his shoulders were shaking. A dread filled up my stomach. It spread through my limbs, momentarily paralyzing me.

"Peter!" I cried out his name as I closed the backdoor behind me. I could see him move to the very end of the garden when suddenly he lashed out. He kicked a stray brick of stone, sending it air borne. I froze.

His face was slightly red and his hands were clenched in fists. His sea-blue eyes filled with a vengeance I had never ever seen before. My throat constricted and I wondered what had Peter on edge like this. What had set him off this time? And why was I there this time? Wasn't I the only one who could possibly get him like this? Or perhaps not. Because even I wouldn't want him to be like this.

"Pete?" I said carefully as I took a few steps towards him. The wind was chilly. In fact, it was so cold that I could see the wisps of my breath in front of me. The sun had already set and it made this whole night even more colder. Peter was still standing on the same spot, his back turned towards me. I sighed and quickened my pace. I carefully put my hand on his clenched fist. "Peter? What happened?"

"Nothing." He spat. "It's nothing." I raised my eyebrows.

"Well, it surely must be something. For it has you on edge like this." I told him and he raised his hand, running it briefly through his hair and he pulled away from his statue-like form. He sat down on the small bench that his mother had placed in the summer when Edmund turned five. I sat down next to him.

He sighed. "They're sending us away." He said carefully and he rested his elbows on his knees. His hands curled into a fists in front of his mouth. I could feel my heart stop.

"What do you mean?" I breathed. "Send us where?" Fear grasped every fibre of my being and suddenly I wasn't aware of the cold anymore. I grabbed Peter's arm faintly. "Pete?" I urged

"To the country. Because London's not safe anymore." He explained. "As if we'd be safer there?"

I swallowed thickly. "I suppose it's just a safety precaution. It's not permanent, right?" I pushed and he shrugged.

"I'm not sure Allie." He suddenly got up. "They shouldn't send me away. I can help!" He exclaimed.

"Peter. You're only seventeen!" I pointed out. "You can't do much!"

"I can join the army if I want to!" Peter told me and I put my palm against my forehead.

"We had this conversation before!" I said coolly. "You can't join the army! You're too young! You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

"Don't treat me like a child Allie!" Peter snapped. "I know what I'm doing, alright?"

"Do you?" I got up. "Because it seems to me you're being childish about this! You're only thinking about yourself." I cried out. "Are you that self-centered?"

"Self-centered?" Peter repeated. "At least, I'm not being selfish. Don't think I haven't noticed what you're trying to do!"

I crossed my arms. "Well, do tell Pete! What am I doing?" I asked stoically.

Peter let out a curse. "Never mind." He let go. "I'm not going to get into a fight because of this."

"Because of what?" I yelled. "Why can't you be honest to me?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you!" He yelled back.

"A bit too late for that, don't you think?" I snapped. My eyes were starting to brim with tears. "It's all you've been doing these past few days." I wiped away the stray tear that had fallen. "Ever since the platform you've been either pushing me away or pulling me closer. Frankly, I'm not quite sure what you want now."

Peter huffed. "Well I don't know what you want. You barely talk to me anymore, and if you talk you're only complaining about things!"

"I do not complain!" I cried out indignantly.

"You do!" Peter informed me.

"Well fine then!" I snapped. "I won't complain. I'll leave you alone, just like you want! And you can join the bloody army too if you want to. See if I care!" I turned around.

"This is what I'm talking about." Peter exclaimed. "You keep walking away every single time it gets personal." Peter grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. "Talk to me. Tell me what you want."

I bit my lip. "I don't want you to join the army." I said, trying to ignore the tremor in my voice. "I don't want you to leave."

Peter sighed. "I can't promise you that." I pushed him away.

"Then what good are you?" I turned around again.

"Allie, don't be like that!" He said. I shook my head turning around.

"I told you what I want. Isn't that enough?" I asked him.

Peter sighed and he ran his hand through his hair again. "Allie, I want you to be safe."

"You wouldn't know if I was safe, if you joined the army. You wouldn't be here!" I pointed out. "You'd be God knows where. I'm not going to let you do that! I already lost my dad, I don't want to lose you too."

"You're not going to lose me." Peter said carefully and he wrapped his arms around me. I rested my forehead against his shoulder.

I shrugged. "These days nothing is guaranteed." Peter sighed and I could feel his press his lips against my temple.

"Can't you trust me?"

"Not when it comes to this."

"Allie-"

"I'm not discussing this Peter." I said firmly. "I will stop you if I must."

Peter let out a small laugh and with that I knew that we were on common grounds again.

"I would love to see you try." I looked up, pressing a chaste kiss on his chin.

"I could give you a demonstration, if you want to?" I challenged and Peter laughed. I pushed him slightly. "What is it Pevensie? Don't think I can do it?" Peter just continued laughing and I gasped before lunging at him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pushed him to the ground. I hadn't calculated Peter pulling me with him so I fell on top of him, knocking the breath out of him.

"Told you!" I said smugly and Peter looked up at me. His eyes twinkled but I could see that my reaction was still something that bothered him.

"Do you know where they're sending us?"I asked quickly, suddenly scared. I laid down next to him and I pressed myself against Peter's side, my head on his chest.

"I don't know."

"I'm going with you, aren't I?" I asked fearfully. I wondered if their might've been a possibility that my mother wouldn't send me with the Pevensies. Peter pressed a kiss to my head. His hand rubbing circles on the small of my back.

"You're coming with me!" Peter said firmly. "I'll make sure of that." I nodded slowly and leant towards his chin, giving him another brief kiss.

"Good!"

I lay down again and both of us eyed the black sky with heavy hearts. I guess you didn't have to be a soldier to feel the grief and horror of a war. With what I was feeling I was pretty darn sure I could fill a country. I turned my eyes to Peter again and sighed.

What was I going to do with him?

A/N: So how was it? Sorry for not enough Allie and Peter interaction. Next chapter will have plenty :D I have a lot in store for them :) So please review and let me know your thoughts :) I'd love to hear them :D