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Twilight isn't mine ...


I run out of the bar and straight into a huge soft barrier of some description.

"Oomph." The air whooshes out of my lungs and I fly backwards.

I nearly end up on my ass, but thankfully I'm caught by a bewildered stranger. I thank him politely and turn back round. Any colour that was left in my face drains away. Could this night get any worse?

I stare up at Emmett's grinning, dimpled face as he stretches his hand out to me. I accept warily and Emmett pulls me into a big hug. My arms are squashed out at odd angles as he squeezes me, he suddenly breaks out in a little chuckle. His whole body shakes and it makes me vibrate, it's a weird experience. I gently and awkwardly push against him and he finally lets me go.

"Hey Bella."

"Emmett, it's nice to see you, but I really have to go." I try to sidestep him and carry on walking, but he stops me by placing his huge hand on my arm.

"It's great to see you, What are you doing here? Is Ali here too?"

He starts moving his head, eyeing the bustle of people. I briefly consider warning him that if he were ever to call Alice that to her face, she'd karate kick his ass into next year but I just want to get out of here and he's starting to piss me off.

"I've really got to go, we should catch up soon though." I attempt to walk away, when he stops me again by stepping in my way.

"Hey, what's the hurry? You should meet my girl. She's here somewhere."

I glance around at everyone sitting at the outdoor tables, drinking. He's never going to let me go.

I suddenly widen my eyes in shock and stare at a point just over his head.

"Oh my god. What the hell is that?" I point to try and set the scene.

He spins round and I can hear him asking me where to look as he examines the skyline, totally oblivious. I quickly sprint along the sidewalk to a cab that's waiting, while his attention is held. Poor guy.

I bundle in and yell at the driver to step on the gas. I've always wanted to do that.

I glance through the back window as we slip into the road and I see Edward jog outside, his head whips round as he scans the outdoor tables, shirtless. He stands at the curb and runs both hand through his hair as he looks down at the floor. He looks annoyed, and so he should. I settle back in my seat and sigh in relief. I bet he wishes that he'd never met me.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I have completely ruined Edward's expensive and fancy pants. Second, there's a part of me that thinks - and I'm not sure how true it is- that I also, inadvertently set his shirt on fire and it's now, most probably, a pile of ash. And third, I totally and irrevocably touched his semi-hard cock in the middle of a very busy bar and then proceeded to tell him that I was touching, said cock.

Holy moly guacamoley.

Now that I'm safe, I can't help but think that I could be wrong about Edward. I mean, how different can a man's back be? He had that mark, which looks like a scar on the back of his arm but I could be wrong.

If I had sex with Edward Cullen, I'm pretty certain that I'd remember. I was putting the memory loss down to me having sex with some hairy backed, middle aged, balding guy.

Judging by the size of the heat Edward was packing, it would explain why I walked like John Wayne for at least three days after my birthday. I just don't want to jump to conclusions. These hormones could just be playing tricks on me again, like when they told me that tinned meat would be fabulous with ice cream.

I do know for certain that it's a possibility.

The cab driver brings me out of my silent musings as he asks me where I need to go. I tell him my address and ask him to take the really long way round.

"Oh my god, I'm such a colossal idiot!" I don't realise that I say it out loud until it's too late.

"You alright there?" He looks into the rear view at me, his big busy eyebrows jump up, in question.

I just groan and put my face into my hands. I mean, what can I say to that?

Oh yes I'm fine, I just shouldn't be let out in public because I'm a huge liability to everyone's health and sanity.

I need to buy a house on the top of a mountain, far away from any civilisation.

"It'll all seem better in the morning, my dear."

Poor guy, he really has no clue.

I have to think about whether I should tell Alice about my little eureka moment.

Edward recognised me, I remember thinking it. I bet he was hoping for scene two act one tonight. I've got no idea how long scene one lasted for. I feel a smile creep onto my face, it shouldn't be there but I relish it for a second. It wouldn't be so bad if it really was him.

We finally get to my apartment and as there doesn't seem to be Edward's car outside, I jump out, pay the driver and rush inside.

I shut the door quietly behind me, my chest is heaving up and down as I try to get my breath back. I glance up briefly and then do a double take.

Jaspers face is visible over the top of the couch, on his head is a fire fighters helmet, with the visor down. He looks like a stunned deer in headlights as we both stare at each other silently. I have no idea what I've just walked into and I have a horrible feeling that I really don't want to know. I hear a little giggle.

"Oh you naughty Fireman. You can't put your hose there. Jasper? What are you looking at? Is there another fire?"

Alice's face appears next to Jaspers, she has a nurses hat on and her hair is sticking up all around it. We all stare at each other, silently. Alice's face gets redder and redder, she looks utterly mortified. I can't bear it anymore, it looks like her head is going to explode.

"Um, hey guys. I'm just going to, um. Go." I slowly slide against the wall and watch as their faces turn in time to follow me. I quickly turn and bolt into my room, slamming the door shut after me.

I'm going to have to bleach my retinas.

I flop onto my bed and lay there face down. There's a little tap at the door.

"cmsuhsjm nnn." My voice is muffled by the duvet that I have my face buried in.

I hear the door open and close softly and the bed dips.

"Bella, what's wrong? What happened?"

I sit up and look at my friend.

"It was awful Alice."

"What did he do?"

I tell her the whole sorry tale of woe, only emitting the eureka moment about Edward possibly being the sperm donor. When I finish, I finally take a breath. I watch as Alice throws her head back and laughs with her mouth wide open. She screams loudly and clutches at her sides.

My door suddenly crashes open, making me jump. Jasper stands in my doorway with a fire axe poised, still in full uniform.

"What's wrong? Is everything all right?" He looks around the room, tensed and ready for battle.

Alice swats at him with her hands.

"It's fine Jas, just go and wait in my room, I'll be there in a minute." She wipes at the tears in her eyes and looks back at me.

"Oh, what are we going to do with you?"

"I think I need to just accept the fact that I am going to die a spinster with sixteen cats and a lovely little bean baby." I tenderly stroke my tummy.

A loud knock at the apartment door, makes us both freeze.

"Oh my god it's him! I can't. Alice please help me."

"You have to face him. It's probably a good idea to just get it out of the way.

We hear the door open and Jasper talking. Alice groans, jumps up and slides out of the room.

I slide off my bed and creep to the door. I can hear them talking, although I can't hear what they are saying.

Alice raises her voice, telling him to leave. I hear him huff something out.

"She doesn't want to see you. Don't go in there." Alice yells.

I back away from my door just in time, before Edward opens it and strides in, still shirtless. There is magic in the world.

I stare at his rippling muscles, his chest looks like it's been sculpted from something amazing and edible. My eyes go lower and I see the stain that's now decorating his crotch.

"You forgot this." He holds out his hand and I tear my staring eyes away to see that he's got my jacket. I lift my eyes and force them to go to his face, without any detours.

"I'm so sorry Edward, I should've warned you about my inability to act like a regular human being."

He dumps my jacket on the bed and walks over to me. He looks into my eyes.

"I wouldn't want you any other way, Bella."

I stop breathing as I wonder whether I just heard him correctly. I'm completely unable to form words.

"Call me, if you want to." He leans closer and his soft lips press against my cheek, I close my eyes briefly and enjoy the feeling. My hands want to reach out and touch him but I manage to stop myself. I've already groped him far too much for one evening. He stands back.

"Thanks for an interesting evening."

I watch, stunned, as he walks out.