The last full day of their stay with Ginika turned out to be a rainy one so they decided to scrap the idea of going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and have a lazy day in the apartment. Caroline was the practical one who suggested that it would not be fair to Flora to cart her around in the rain and Ginika was privately relieved. She was thankful for the opportunity to just enjoy a peaceful day cuddling and doting on Flora while she still could.
Caroline did some laundry so everything she needed to pack was clean. She knew that would make life a little easier for her since she expected jet lag to hit again when she got home. As she was returning from the laundry room, Ginika, who had just put Flora down for a nap, called her over to her desk. On it were some of the photo albums Caroline spotted that first day.
"As I was tucking Flora in, I started thinking about framing some of the photos I took in Central Park and then I remembered I wanted to show you these albums. Should we carry them to the kitchen, make some tea, and then have a look?"
"I can't think of a better way to spend a rainy afternoon," Caroline responded with anticipation.
"I haven't looked in these albums since long before Kate died. Since she passed I have only taken them off the shelf to dust them. I think you should bring that box of tissues along as a precaution."
For the next two hours, they poured through the books that were filled with photos chronicling more facets of Kate's life than Caroline could have imagined. The photos were well organized and went from the obligatory photos of her naked in the bath as a little toddler all the way up to her last Christmas with Caroline.
She was amazed at how every aspect of Kate's life seemed to have been documented. There were photos of her first bike ride without training wheels, her smiling without her front teeth, her first piano recital, and her standing in front of her dormitory freshman year of college. Basically, if it seemed like a milestone, regardless of how big or small, her parents captured it.
But then there were the photos that were taken by Kate and her friends during her university years. There were photos of her sitting around the campfire toasting marshmallows at the beach with friends, as well as photos of nights spent partying with all and sundry. Ginika was right, there were some funny photos of Kate with her hair dyed purple during her college days that amazed Caroline. She looked so young and carefree that Caroline wondered if they would have been friends had they met back then. In comparison to her straight-laced, studying before partying ethic, she was sure Kate would have found her too serious and boring to have given her the time of day.
Caroline was surprised to see that Ginika even had photographs from Kate's wedding to Richard. She felt more than a little jealous looking at them but she loved all the ones of Kate with Joy. The realization that they had more time with her than she did hurt but she thought Joy looked like someone she would have loved as well; Richard not so much.
Ginika talked almost non-stop about the photos as they flipped the pages. She could tell her mother-in-law needed to take this trip down memory lane so Caroline just soaked up all the details on offer and sprinkled the conversation with the occasional question to delve deeper when appropriate.
As they were finishing the last album, Caroline inquired, "Do you mind if I ask you about when you learned Kate was gay? She told me that you and her dad were really great about it but never went into details. I think it is because she knew how awful my mother was when I came out to her and she didn't want to make me feel bad that she had your full support."
"Well, to be honest, we were stunned and tried very hard to be supportive and not let her know we were struggling with it when she was not around," Ginika explained.
"It was the summer before she started university. She and Joy had been fighting about something and I walked into her bedroom to find her crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said the she was worried about fitting in at school. I told her that she would make friends and do well and that I thought she would love it and fit right in after she had a little time to make the place her own. I expected she would be home sick at first but reminded her we could come see her whenever she wanted."
"She dried her tears and said she loved that she could tell me anything and I always made her feel better. We hugged and I asked her what else was going on. It was then that she opened up to me about her interest in girls instead of boys. She was clearly fearful that I might disappoint her with a bad reaction but I just hugged her long and hard and told her that my only wish was that she be happy and I promised her I would do everything in my power to see that she was."
"The look of relief on her face was instantaneous. I asked her if that revelation had anything to do with the fight she was having with Joy. She confessed that it did but told me that Joy was pushing her to tell me and was threatening to do it if she didn't. Joy was convinced that I would be supportive and did not feel Kate should hide that part of herself from us any longer. I think I never loved Joy more than I did at that moment," she recalled wistfully.
"Was she ever involved with Joy as more than friend," Caroline asked.
"Oh God no!" came Ginika's fast reply. "Joy was her sister and best friend. She was the one Kate confided in at all times and about all things. Joy was just concerned that if Kate didn't tell us and then struggled with it as she settled into university, we would not know how to help her. They really were that connected."
"Wow. Sounds like she had some great insight for her age," an impressed Caroline said.
Ginika continued, "I shared our conversation with Kate's dad as she was too embarrassed to tell him. He was as surprised as I was because Kate was very popular with the boys. We were both so worried about how difficult her life would be since living an open alternative lifestyle was unheard of back then. And of course we knew that in some circles her skin color would pose enough of a challenge in its own right."
"We decided that her life would have enough obstacles and we did not want to be one of them. We pledged to ourselves that we would be accepting at all times. But in private, we were sad that we would never see her walk down the aisle to a groom waiting for her and assumed she would never have children. We acknowledged to each other all the doors that would be closed to her but we never projected any of that disappointment onto her nor tried to pressure her to be someone she was not. When she needed us, we were there and supportive," she finished.
"Kate was very lucky to have you. I know that you know how my mother reacted and bullied me into living that conventional life she expected of me," said Caroline. "I always admired how brave Kate was about living out in the open and I know that your support had a lot to do with her courage. It took me a long time to get there but I am sure I would not have been brave enough to do so without Kate. I'm just sorry it took me so long after I found her."
"Caroline, no regrets remember? You got there in the end and because of that you have Flora. I couldn't have asked for a better mate for her, or a better mum for her child than you. I'll always be here for you and Flora—whatever you need. To be honest, that was never something I felt for Richard."
"Yeah. Tell me about him, please," ventured Caroline. "What was it that made her marry him since you two supported her lifestyle."
"Well, although most of her friends knew she preferred girls, from time to time she dated boys. When Joy got married, I think she was envious and that may have played a part. Then there was her desire to be a teacher. She might not have been able to find a good teaching job because the alternative lifestyle was not readily accepted back then. Imagine the backlash she could have faced if parents objected in the 90's. I also think that after becoming a teacher she realized how much she wanted to have children of her own. I suspect Richard just helped her tick a lot of those boxes but I was convinced he wasn't her grand passion."
"Do you think they would have remained together if they had a baby," she inquired.
"No. Don't get me wrong. She loved him in her way and took her vows seriously," she answered. "Let me show you something. Look at Kate's eyes in these two photos and tell me what you see."
Caroline studied them carefully. One was a picture of Kate and Richard clinking champagne glasses at their wedding reception. The other was of Kate and Caroline sitting together at Sulgrave. It was taken sometime after the staff learned of their relationship.
"She looks happy in both," she simply replied flatly.
"If you look closer," said Ginika, "you will notice that there is no light in her eyes with Richard but she is lit up like a Christmas tree in the one with you. Those are the things maybe only a mother can see. You were what she was missing all those years. That lack of light when she was with Richard always worried me."
With that statement, Ginika closed the last photo album and rose to carry them back to the shelf. Caroline followed close behind with the rest of them. "Thank you for sharing these with me. I have to admit it was hard to see some of them but I am just amazed that there were so many. They helped me see what a wonderful life she had. You may not realize it but you have answered some of the questions I have been wishing I had taken the time to ask her," she said gratefully.
As they shared a comforting hug, they could hear Flora starting to stir in the other room. Ginika went to get her while Caroline went to fold the laundry. As she pulled Flora's favorite blanket from the dryer, she laughed out loud when she realized it was just about the same color as Kate's purple hair had been.
