Title: Instinct

Author: HigherMagic

Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Gabriel

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: WIP

Spoilers: None

Summary: Werewolf/Were-cat AU. Dean and Sam are captured by an enemy were-cat colony where the Alpha and Beta start giving them unwanted attentions.

Notes/Warnings: Angst, Drama, Illness Imagery, UST?

Also! Omg someone did art for Instinct! It's amazing and makes me so freaking happy I could bounce! In fact, I think I will! *bounces* Thank you to this incredible artist and please go and check it out!

Unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own (:


"What are you doing here?" I asked; I would have totally believed you if you told me the sickness causes hallucinations, as I couldn't quite believe Gabriel was just standing there, smirking up at me. "How did you get here?"

"Well, you know," he replied casually, stepping around me so he could enter the cabin since I couldn't get my frozen ass in gear to move for him; "through the repetitive process of putting one foot in front of the other, one is capable of traveling great distances. Even faster if they have four feet." He winked at me, before putting his hands on his hips. "Now, where are all the sick people?"

I pointed to those remaining that were alive, where they had all huddled at one end of the cabin and were blinking owlishly from between the furs and their own bodies. Gabriel clucked his tongue, chewing on the inside of one cheek. "Okay…Who's been here longest?" he asked, looking everyone up and down with an appraising gaze that I thought was more at home on some other cat I knew. I pushed the thought away – now was so not the time.

Lilly raised her hand. It was shaking, blood covered, and there was the beginning of a sore on the inside of her wrist. It hadn't been there an hour ago, and I ran forward, kneeling in front of her.

"Lilly, when did this happen?" I asked, holding her wrist gently as I examined it. It was red and sore-looking, green and yellow around the edges and oozing some kind of white-yellow pus. She shrugged, tears in her eyes, and I nodded, turning and looking at Gabriel. "Please say that you can help them."

"I've seen this before," Gabriel muttered to himself, watching Lilly from a distance. "It's transmitted through touch – any kind of touch – and kills in days." His eyes flashed to mine. "I'll try and help, but there's only so much I can do – the disease is very far along already."

"Try – please try," I begged him, and he nodded again, face serious, arms folded over his chest.

"I'll need supplies. Herbs that I don't think grow here. I'll need your fastest runners, and I'll send one of my cats along with them to make sure they find what I'm looking for."

"Your cats?" I repeated, because unless something really big had happened back at the colony, all the cats belonged to Castiel – in a loose sense of the word, of course. Gabriel nodded.

"Well, the Healers. Castiel sent all of them with me."

All of them? "So he's not here," I replied, ignoring the little clench my chest did at that – probably just the sickness. Even as I thought that, another round of coughing rendered me mute. That had been a big one – it made me almost collapse with its persistence and strength. I ended up having to lean against Jake and Andy for support while I coughed, wiping the blood away from my face when I was done.

Gabriel waited until it was over. "No," he said, voice a whisper, eyes watching me in a calculating way. "You're sick too."

"I couldn't let them suffer alone," I snapped back, defiant about it because I was getting kind of sick and tired of people pointing out the obvious – hello, blood was coming out of my mouth. Of course I'm sick. "Besides, someone needed to monitor the progression of the disease."

Gabriel sighed, rolled his eyes, nodded and sighed again. "I'll get to it, then. I think my brother would kill me if I let you die," he muttered, mostly to himself but I still heard it, and pretended not to. Lilly had regained my attention.

"You're sick because of us, Alpha," she whispered, tears in her eyes as the door swung shut behind Gabriel, trapping us in again. "You could die."

"Nonsense," I replied softly, a hand on her shoulder. She was so young – well, honestly, not that much younger than I was, but still, so afraid and falsely brave. I couldn't let her die, on top of Ben and Max and Jake's little sister, and Jesse. Four too many had died already. "You just worry about getting better, and let me handle the rest. When did this start?" I asked, looking over at Jake and Ash. "Does anyone even know?"

"We think it was the food," Jake replied, stretching his long legs out in front of him, back against a boarded up window. "The last few days we were short on it, and we went out hunting despite the fact that everyone knows this time of year the death rate for disease is high. The deer we struck down was sickly – too weak to stay ahead with the herd, and we knew it, but we needed to feed people, so we did, and the children suffered for it."

I nodded, pulling Lilly close to my side as she began to cough again, rubbing along her back to try and soothe her. "I understand. I'm sorry I took most of the hunters with me – we could have gotten you safer food."

Jake shrugged. "It was an unintentional mistake that we can learn from," he said.

Except for those that only learn the mistake once.

I sighed, running a hand over my face – I was exhausted, living on maybe two hours of sleep since this whole thing started, and I needed a drink of water desperately. I went over to the water jug, filling a glass and drank it down. "Gabriel's seen something like this before," I said once I'd finished, my eyes on the door and I could feel them watching me, drinking in my every word. "He's a fantastic healer – healed Sam's cut arm in less than twenty-four hours, and I'm willing to bet that if we'd stayed, he'd have had Sam running around by the end of the week. He's a great healer, and he's seen it before. He'll know how to cure it."

They, blessedly, didn't say what we were all thinking; just because Gabriel had seen it, doesn't mean he cured it.

It wasn't the golden cat who visited our cabin next, but Castiel himself.

I have to say, I was kind of surprised.

We woke up to hammering on the door, loud and persistent and relentless. It was still dark inside the cabin – which let me tell you is a really fucking uncool thing to wake up in, full of things to trip you up and so on – but the glowing embers of the dying fire provided a little bit of light. Enough that I could find the door, anyway.

"Who is it?" I growled, wiping away the remaining sleep from my eyes and hoping they hadn't woken the children – if it was one of my wolves there would be blood. And side note – was that my voice? God, it sounded like I'd been gargling rocks.

There was a low growl on the other end, one that I definitely recognized from the little Pavlovian response my body gave – hitch of breath, a little tensing, and a lot of heat. I rested my forehead against the doorframe, sure that I was just imagining it now, until his tense, low voice followed; "Dean, let me in."

Cas.

"No," I growled back, because I was Alpha here now, damn it, and I was in charge, and I was still kinda pissed that he'd let me and Sam go so easily, and…yeah, basically it all added up to 'No'. "I'm not getting you sick too, Alpha, so I'm not opening the door until Gabriel's ready with a cure."

"You are a stupid wolf." The outside step creaked as Castiel shifted his weight, settling down for the night, and I sighed and did the same, realizing he wasn't going to go away so I could kiss any more sleep I wanted good-bye. "Reckless, idiotic; why would you run into a quarantine zone? Answer me that, Alpha."

"Because I care about my pack members," I snapped in response, folding my arms over my chest in what was decidedly a petulant way, but he couldn't see me, so it didn't matter – he couldn't mock me for it. "I couldn't let them suffer in here alone, and if I had been here, maybe…"

"You can't fight a microbe, Dean. The disease would have happened if you were there or not. It could have killed you – may still kill you – and I would have never even known, or cared."

I almost smiled. "Why, Cas, you are such a semantic at heart. I had no idea."

"…I'm sure I don't know what you mean." The voice that came to me from the other side of the door wasn't strong anymore. It was hesitant, and shy, and almost guilty for giving the game away.

"Really? 'Cause what I think I mean is that you just ran, here, overnight, into enemy territory – alone, I might add, unless I'm mistaken – because there were a bunch of wolves searching for herbs on your lands and telling you that I was sick."

It was a bold assumption to make, and Castiel told me as much, but I remained silent, because I was sure of it. Castiel had bitten me, damn it, and he knew our laws. Hadn't he told me this from the very beginning? 'Don't think I don't know the rules'. He did know the rules, very well in fact, and now we were simply done playing.

"Am I wrong?" I challenged, daring with it because he couldn't hurt me through this door. Wouldn't.

Castiel hesitated, and then sighed. I could practically feel his eyes rolling. "No, you are not wrong, but you are also naïve and insolent and stupid."

"Wow, way to butter me up, Cas," I snapped in reply, but the sting was interrupted by another coughing fit that almost had me heaving from the force of it. God, this sucked. I couldn't imagine dying from it – and I hoped I wouldn't have to find out. "And before you say it, no; I'm not letting you in."

The Alpha cat sighed, and I heard a dull thud that was his head hitting the wooden door. I could imagine him, sitting there like some weird sentinel, watching my pack as they went about their day. Light was just starting to creep in around the edges of the door, and I figured the sun must be rising. "Describe the sky to me, Cas," I asked him softly, for I had missed two sunrises in here and I didn't want to miss another. He didn't protest – which, again, surprised me.

"It's just a tease of it, through the trees," he murmured, so gently I could barely hear, and I had to press my ear against the door. "Just a little pink up top, there's sunlight peeking through the trunks. I've never seen brown in this amount, Dean. It's such a warm color, and there's gold and blue and black in the sky. Your sunrises are beautiful."

I sighed, closing my eyes and imagining it, as I had done on so many occasions when I would get up before the rest of my pack and watch the sunrise through the trees. I braced my shoulder against the doorframe, listening as Castiel's smooth, hypnotic voice kept talking to me;

"The sun's moving slowly. It's in no hurry – the sky's getting redder. Just a little bit. I can hear the birds out here. We don't have birds on the marshes. None that sing like this, anyway." Another sigh, his this time, and it's wistful and sad. I wanted to be able to open the door and touch him, but I wouldn't risk him getting infected. "Can you hear the birds, Dean?"

"No," I replied, and choked on the word, letting hope and despair wash through me in equal measure while I still could, before the rest of them woke up and I had to keep their spirits high. "No, I can't hear them."

"You will," Castiel replied, confidently. Quietly, but determined, and I didn't have the heart to disagree with him. "You'll hear birdsong, and then you'll get your strength back, and teach me. Teach me how to hunt like you do, and how to be at home in this forest. I think it's time our settlement moved again."

My heart clenched at that. "You're leaving?" I tried to keep my voice steady, and failed, but I could only hope the wood muffled that. I didn't want to think about Castiel leaving – not when I'd just gotten him back after thinking I'd never see him again.

Castiel chuckled lightly. "Nowhere far. A bad season's coming. Food is getting scarce. I was hoping, with your permission, Alpha, that we might be able to settle on your borders for a while, where the trees are. I think a change of scenery would be good for them."

"You're talking of…" Melding the packs. Good God. He would have thought about this, too; Castiel is methodical, purposeful. He's quick to anger and rash moves but not rash decisions. Mobilizing his entire settlement to come here would have taken a lot of arguing, and persuasion, and… "It would be a great honor to house you on my lands, for as long as you needed," I answered, because the were-cats were strong, and we had enemies, but no one would come here if they knew that we were so heavily guarded. Not to mention Sam and Gabriel – if they mated, then the packs would actually be united. "You're speaking of revolution."

Castiel laughed again. "I may be old, Dean, but I am not immune to change. I can smell it on the winds – it's coming, and I'd like to be prepared when the clouds break." It must be a were-cat expression, for I'd never heard it before, but I could guess what it meant – it was our version of weathering the storm. "So…we can come here?"

"Of course. You're always welcome," I replied, knowing that it might take some persuasion on my part to get my pack on board, but I'd get them there eventually – after all, I was the Alpha. If…If I made it out of here alive. Not that I was doubting Gabriel's abilities, but still – it's hard to look to the future sometimes when you see people here one moment, gone the next. I raised my hand at my eye-level, imagining I could see him on the other side of the door, that it might suddenly become invisible so I could reach out and touch him without risk. I placed my palm flat on the door; fingers splayed, and sighed, eyes closing. "I'm glad you're here, Castiel."

There was a low purr on the other side of the door, and the old wood gave slightly as Castiel leaned his weight against it. "I would rather be nowhere else. You are now my pack's future, and my own, and I can't see you die."

I almost grinned. "You're full of riddles and schemes, aren't you, Alpha?"

"And motives, Alpha wolf. Don't forget motives."

I chuckled, the sound rattling around dry and broken in my chest, and then heard more steps approaching, and moved away before there could be a rap on the door that would jar my head. "Open up," came Gabriel's voice. "I've got the things I need. The sooner we start, the sooner we finish and get onto more important things."

Though I wanted to know what 'important things' meant – I was guessing it involved Sam and a secluded area somewhere – I didn't ask, and got up and opened the door for him. Castiel's eyes flashed on the other side as his brother stepped over his legs to get inside, and he nodded once at me with a wan little smile that I returned before shutting and locking the door again. Gabriel carried a big bowl in his hands, much like the one that held the salve that had treated Sam's arm, only this time it was filled with a yellow semi-liquid substance that looked vile and smelled even worse. "Wake everyone up," Gabriel ordered me, sitting down in the center of the room. "They have to drink a pint of this each, and then we need to break open the sores if any more people have them. It will get the poison out. If you don't mind, I'll have you do that – I don't want any unnecessary contact." And I nodded, because that made sense – Gabriel had to interact with the others too, and the point of quarantine would have been wasted if he got infected. I woke Lilly first, sending her his way, and though she complained about the taste of the mixture she drank it down dutifully. Jake followed, then Ash and Andy and finally myself. It tasted…foul. Literally. Like rotting, raw chicken and smelled of sulfur mixed with weeds.

Next, the sores. If I never had to do that again it would be too soon – Gabriel slid a knife over to me, and said I had to cut it clean off, like it was a leech to be pulled away. It was gruesome work – the sore had grown and looked like a legion on her skin, and I placed the knife flush to her wrist and sawed. That's all I could think to do. Blood, pus and a white transparent substance oozed around the blade as Lilly whimpered, grabbing a tight hold of Jake's forearm. I 'shh'ed her quietly, but there was nothing I could really do. When I finally sliced it right off, her wrist was open and raw and Gabriel threw me a cloth to bind it with, soaked in more of the gross yellow stuff, and I bound her up tightly, praising her quietly on how brave she was being, and how she'd be alright, and it was okay now. She smiled shakily at me, burying her face in Jake's neck, and stifled her sobs against his skin.

"Is there anyone else I need to take care of?" I asked, softly, because after that no one was going to come forward for the same treatment. Then again, they wanted to get better, right?

Ash raised his hand, looking very angry and morose about it, and then lifted the back of his long hair up, revealing the beginnings of one. At least it was small. I cut that one off in much the same way, hating that I didn't have any – "Is there anything we can give them? For the pain?" I asked Gabriel, who shook his head with a sigh.

"I'm afraid I still haven't found what I need for that." He set the bowl aside, wiping his hands on the robe around his body. "Now, the way this will work – it'll get worse before it gets better. In about four hours you're going to throw that yellow concoction up and I'll have to feed it to you again. It's doing its job – getting the poison out, and that means it's working. If you don't throw it up – that's when we'll have problems. So I'll be back in four hours with more, and you'll have to keep dosing yourselves up because your bodies will keep rejecting it." He rose to his feet, checking himself carefully to make sure there had been no substance transfer while he was in here, and then headed for the door. "Dean, can you open this?" he asked me.

I went over, nodding and unlocking the door for him to step through, and when it was open he turned to me, serious and solemn. "That girl…I'd be very surprised if she made it through after the second dose. Just thought I'd warn you," he said, so softly only I could hear. "You're doing a good job – burn everything that's dirty, and try and keep each other's spirits up and, if possible, limit contact from person to person. We don't want someone who's getting better to just be re-infected." And then he left, carrying the bowl away to be cleaned.

Castiel was still there, watching the exchange. "How many have died?" he asked softly, his eyes bright and deep with sorrow, and I sighed, kneeling about a foot away from the door where it opened inwardly.

"As far as I know – that people have told me or I've seen – four. All of them younger than twenty-two. God…" I rubbed a hand over my face, unable to look at him but having nowhere else to set my eyes on either. "They're so young, and to die so awfully…" I felt tears starting to build, and blinked them away, because I couldn't show weakness now, not now that there was hope for us. "Who's running your pack?" I asked, uncaring that my subject change was so obvious. Castiel smiled a little but granted me the mercy of not calling me out on it.

"Uriel. He's a little hard to deal with and has a pedestal high enough to rival God's, but he's a good leader and will do well in my absence." I nodded a little, looking down at the floor. "Lucifer is here with me, along with Anna and Rafael."

"Great – bring the she-cat who hates my kind," I said dryly, and Castiel chuckled a little.

"If the move is to go ahead, then she will need a severe attitude adjustment, or she will face exile. I will not have animosity between my kin and yours. Not anymore." He voice softened towards the end, barely audible, and my throat constricted painfully.

I reached forward, my nails curling into the soft wood around the door jam that separated us. "I missed you, you son of a bitch," I whispered, finally looking him in the eye. His expression softened, looking at me, and he mirrored my action, his fingers covering the wood just a few inches from mine. "Why did you send me away? Send Sam away? Didn't you care, at all?" I had to know. Now that he was here, I had to know.

His eyes flashed briefly, upper lip curling back just a little. "You didn't seem all that interested in staying, and you brought an army to face me. You didn't want blood, but you didn't want to stay, so I let you go."

"I wanted to stay, but I had a duty. You would have done the same thing."

Castiel's eyes met mine, holding them steadily, his voice tight; "I think that if I had been in your position, things would have come out very differently, Alpha." He sat back, leaning against the hand rail for the step that led outside, breaking his gaze and releasing me from the power of his eyes. "I didn't want to let you go. You're mine, Alpha. But, I managed, because I, too, had a duty, and besides…" His eyes trailed over the bite on my neck, still red and standing out even more against my skin, pale with sickness. "You are marked. No one else would touch you until that faded. I had time to sort things out."

"'To sort things out'," I repeated in a deadpan, not sure whether I should be insulted by his cockiness, or glad that he'd actually thought enough about it to mark me, to claim me – he wanted me, as more than a fuck buddy. It felt…oddly good. This cat always makes my emotions crazy-mixed-up. "And you've sorted things out…What now?"

"Now…you get better," Castiel said with a light smile that belied the darkness in his eyes; "And then I shall gather my pack, and we will settle here, and then…I plan to fuck you into next week." A hot shiver went through me, and I flushed at his boldness – an Alpha's mate is always so submissive, that it's surprising I was even turned on by his forwardness or his blatant power over me. Then again, Winchesters are far from orthodox.

"I look forward to it," I replied, voice low, and he smirked at me, and I smiled right on back.