The Path Through Discomfort
Chapter 7
Blue skies glistened above, streaks of cloud colored by the rising sun floated lazily on warm currents of air. Dawn arrived in a profusion of brilliant splendor and all of nature awakened to begin life anew after night's chilling lonely darkness. A large majestic eagle soared through the bright promise of morning's new beginning; its feathered wings outstretched surrendering to the support of invisible winds.
Johnny saw his feet carefully traversing the narrow rocky passage high atop primeval scarred granite stone. One misstep would surely hurl him from his precarious path to the rock incrusted depths of the canyon below. Carefully he navigated over boulders, small stones and scrub brush littering the twisted path he had chosen. Feet sliding on small gravel, he struggled to maintain balance. Thorny brambles scraped the traveler's body; ancient stones lodged in his pathway hindering progress. His tired bruised body ached for comfort, yet his steps never faltered. Straining muscles burned, his head throbbed. He pressed on determined to get through.
Treacherous terrain now began to give way to a somewhat wider pathway. Where there had been boulders before, now only small stones and assorted potholes littered the trail. He slowed to a stop, eyeing his surroundings. The eagle seemed to call to him from the breezes where it swooped and dipped in sweet abandon. He closed his eyes, lifting his face as the morning sun rose warming the cold earth he had known. Arms outstretched, Johnny felt his spirit unfurl as if he could join the majestic eagle in her sunrise voyage
"Uuughf….! What was that taste?" Johnny opened his eyes to see Roy's countenance. Kind blue eyes looked into his. As his senses began to return he felt the smooth glass tube in his mouth, and smelled the alcohol. "mmmmmmff….." he moaned, with displeasure.
"Almost done Junior." Roy's voice said, and he felt a warm hand slip under his jaw.
Johnny closed his eyes, waiting for his release. When he felt Roy remove the thermometer from his mouth, Johnny opened his eyes once again.
"You're temp is 99.8." Roy said, shaking his head.
"Gaah! Can't a guy sleep in this place without waking up to you!" Johnny complained. "You worry too much Roy. I'm gonna be fine."
"Mmmhmm…." Roy said, reaching for his penlight." Placing a hand on John's forehead, Roy quickly checked pupil reactions. As he performed the check Roy thought "darned right you're gonna be fine, I'll make sure of it."
John moved uneasily in the bed, noticing that he'd stiffened up from lying around after the warmth of the shower. The vicious beam of laser like light clawing its way into his head through his hapless eyes only reminded him his head hurt, and he noticed his chest felt a bit tight now that he was more fully awake. "What time is it?" He inquired, with some vague hope he'd be able to motivate his overprotective partner to stop with the physical check.
Roy, who had been making notations on his handy dandy little note pad, now glanced at his wristwatch saying "3:30."
Turning to Johnny now, Roy scooted himself down on the edge of the bed and said "I need you to sit up for me, o.k.?" Though phrased as a question, Johnny could tell he'd received a directive. Sighing, he began to disengage himself from the bed clothes someone must have draped across him. Once freed from the constricting fabric he swung his long legs around to dangle off the edge of the bed. Roy stood, and engaging the earpieces of the stethoscope Johnny realized only now Roy had been already wearing, Roy began to listen to Johnny's lungs. Following several instructions for deep breathing, Roy concluded his task, and wrapping his stethoscope up into a bundle he said "you're a little congested too Johnny."
Depositing himself on the edge of the mattress alongside Johnny, Roy eyed his friend and inquired "have you ever had pneumonia?"
Johnny's glum look, sagging shoulders and heavy sigh answered the question even before he could say a soft "yeah."
"O.K. Johnny." Roy said, rising from his seat. "Come on, let's get some lunch for you, then you can take your medication. It's a little past time for another dose, but you need to eat first."
"Ro-oy! I don't need that stuff." John whined. He hated the way pain medication made him feel. Somehow being sore was far more preferable for Johnny. After all, he only had a few bruises, and his head really didn't hurt all that bed. True, he was keenly aware of his bruised hip, but Johnny's opinion of bruises had something to do with endurance.
Roy could see the tension lines etched in the corners of Johnny's eyes, and across his forehead. The twitching muscles in Johnny's jaw at every shift of his hips, or any sudden movement of his head were impossible to miss. It was fairly obvious to Roy that Johnny, despite his denial, was indeed in significant pain.
"We can argue about it later Johnny," Roy said, a tone of exasperation apparent in his voice. "Regardless of whether you end up taking your meds, you still need to eat. Breakfast was almost six hours ago." And Roy turned, gesturing with his hand for Johnny to follow him from the room.
JoAnne had prepared chicken quesadillias for lunch, and a plate of the cheese and chicken filled tortillas had been wrapped in foil and placed in the oven for Johnny. Entering the kitchen, Johnny spied Jo at the stove top, busily beginning the promised lasagna. Stirring her pot of ground meat, she turned to greet the men as they entered the room. "Did you have a good nap Johnny?" she enquired as she continued her meal preparation.
"Yeah, slept great… Didn't mean to sleep at all… Must 'a been tired I guess." Johnny said as he found a place at the table and sat, with elbows leaning on the tabletop.
Roy took the warmed plate of food JoAnne had prepared for Johnny from the oven. Walking back to the table with food in hand, Roy studied Johnny's posture noting the tense shoulders, clenched jaw and the idle hand rubbing at John's temple near the line of sutures. Reaching over Johnny's shoulder, Roy sat the dish on the table in front of Johnny, and as his hand came up from releasing the dish, he gently disengaged Johnny's hand from its pain relieving duties saying "stop that. You'll tear your sutures." Roy turned then and strode back to the refrigerator to get a glass of iced tea for himself, and one of milk for Johnny.
Sighing heavily, John eyed his partner's retreating back with irritation. But the smell of chicken and cheese drew his attention, and his stomach rumbled causing him to return his awareness to the table where a plate now awaited his consideration. With a shrug, he picked up one of the tortilla triangles, and took a hearty bite. The ooey-gooey goodness elicited a moan of pleasure from the young paramedic, and without bothering to swallow he offered his compliments to the chef. "Ooohhh Jo! These are fantastic!" He exclaimed chewing happily.
Roy reached the table with his liquid burdens, and deposited the glass of milk in front of Johnny. The iced tea Roy placed near the chair he had used earlier while enjoying lunch with Jo and the kids. Instead of sitting at the table, Roy turned, and walked back to the fridge, where unseen by Johnny who was sitting with his back to the stove and fridge, Roy retrieved Johnny's mediation bottle from the cabinet above the fridge. Rather than turn back to give John his meds, Roy directed his gaze to JoAnne who had now twisted her body around to look at Johnny in response to his compliment.
Jo caught her husband's eye, and a silent message was exchanged between the pair. Roy simply held up the bottle to her, gestured with his eyes back at Johnny, and raising his eyebrows shook his head negatively. Jo's response was immediate. She set her lips into a determined line, snatched the bottle from Roy's hand, and opening the bottle, she poured two tablets out into her palm. Now striding across the kitchen JoAnne was speaking to Johnny. She said "Thanks Johnny, I'm glad you are enjoying them. It's such a simple dish, and easy to keep warm in case someone doesn't make it to meals on time." When she ended her remarks, she was standing just behind Johnny.
"Here Johnny, it's time for you to take your meds." She said, while picking up his left hand and dropping the tablets in to it. Roy had followed his wife back to the table, and was in the process of seating himself. Swallowing the bite he was chewing, Johnny opened his mouth to protest as he looked up into JoAnne's green eyes. "I don't….." was all he managed to get out before she stopped him with a no-nonsense shake of her head. "John Gage" she said, determination leaping like a ferocious tiger from her flashing green eyes, "take your medication." Johnny looked from JoAnne to Roy as if to ask for Roy's help in defense. Roy only shrugged and said "you're on your own Pal. I'm with her on this one."
"But I don't…." he again began, only to be cut off by Jo's glare. She raised an eyebrow, and crossed her arms over her chest as she stood beside him, obviously waiting for and expecting his compliance.
Johnny looked down distastefully at the tablets in his hand, then back to Jo. He looked at Roy, who bore an expression of smug victory now. Johnny knew he'd been had, and worse yet feared there wasn't a thing he could do about it, and probably hadn't been from the beginning. Defeated, he meekly plopped the pills into his mouth, and swallowed them with a gulp of milk. "Don't like the way these things make me feel." He grumbled under his breath, like a small child who'd been chastised by its mother but insisteded on getting the last word.
JoAnne smiled down sympathetically at him now, and reached out rubbing small soothing circles on his back. "I know you don't Johnny." She said kindly. "But you need to give your body some relief from the pain so it can heal…We want you to feel better, and like it or not taking medicine is part of the process to get you feeling better." And she turned and strolled back toward the sizzling pan she had abandoned on the stovetop.
Johnny glared accusingly at Roy who merely raised an eyebrow in a gesture of unrepentant smugness. The argument had been over before it had begun Johnny realized. Sighing again Johnny raised both his hands in silent surrender, and knowing he would feel the effects of the drugs soon he turned his attention back to his meal while he was awake to enjoy it.
After a few moments of quiet munching and sipping, Roy said "I spoke with Dr. Brackett a while ago."
Johnny let the tortilla triangle he had been eating free fall on to the plate and turned his eyes toward Roy. "Oh?" He said, wiping his fingers on a napkin. Johnny's expression turned sullen and dark, and an eyebrow climbed toward his hairline.
"Johnny, you need to see a doctor." Roy said, his blue eyes flashing with icy fire. "You are still running a temperature, and I know you're still having headaches. Dr. Brackett is on the evening shift today, and he said he would see you. We can wait until after dinner to go." Roy said flatly.
"Roy!" Johnny emphatically began by way of protest. He hadn't heard JoAnne's soft footsteps as she left her task to walk to the table. But suddenly he felt her fingers gently smoothing his hair, and he looked up into her emerald gaze. Green eyes locked with brown, and there was to be no argument. John saw her determination, and he saw…concern?
"Oh geeze…! John felt his resolve melting. Who are these people? Can't they see I just want to hide! I could just call a cab and leave…..I don't have to be here. They can't tell me what to do or where to go….. Ugh! I so hate this! …She's looking at me with such tenderness. How am I supposed to ….run?...from this…family?...when it's all I've wanted for so long. Get a grip John! …" But he couldn't say no to JoAnne and so Johnny just nodded his agreement.
Johnny's late lunch was finished, and both men meandered into the living room for some television watching. They sat in silence for a long while with the television creating a comfortable drone.
Johnny lounged on the sofa deep in thought. He felt strangely at peace, and he couldn't explain it. Reviewing the past couple of days, his mind tried to sort out what was happening to him. "How did I land smack dab in the middle of a welcoming family?...And what do I do now?..." he mused. It had been a long time since he'd felt he was a part of a family. He had almost forgotten the pleasures, warmth, caring as well as the obligations, accountability and scrutiny that came with belonging. Johnny shook himself mentally. "But what if I come to depend on them and they are suddenly gone? What if I am imagining their caring? What if they are lying to me?"
Johnny enjoyed his aloneness, yet found it often held him prisoner. His solitary life had kept him safe so many times in the past, yet he was now beginning to discover the isolation was a deceptively wicked trap that would suck him in to protect him, yet cause loneliness to drain the life from his soul. "How do I step out of the trap?" Johnny thought... But his muddled brain couldn't seem to focus anymore. The sounds of the telivision were soothing him...and sleep swept Johnny away.
Roy eyed his young partner from the vantage point of his recliner. Johnny appeared to be watching television intently, but Roy knew better. He watched the faraway look in Johnny's eyes, and saw a parade of emotions cross the younger man's face. Roy witnessed contentment, then confusion slip across his friend's features. John's face took on the air of a man who was attempting to organize new and uncertain material into some sort of controllable format. From what he could see, Roy guessed his partner was having some difficulty reconciling the experiences of the past couple days. "Relax Junior; you don't have to understand right now. It's enough for you to simply be here with us even though our caring for you frightens, confuses and tantalizes you." Roy pondered.
Roy witnessed Johnny's silent struggle to stave off the drowsiness brought by the pain meds. Though Johnny seemed determined to remain awake, the pain medication was winning the fight. When he saw sleep slowly claim his friend, Roy got up from his chair, and gently positioned Johnny so his body was fully reclined on the sofa. Roy draped a light blanket across Johnny, and turned off the television as he departed the living room in search of JoAnne.
The warm sunshine seeped into Johnny's being cradling him in comfort as if he were a babe swaddled in blankets by a loving mother. Gentle breezes caressed his skin, and his outstretched arms drank in the richness of the world around him. Closed eyelids detected a shadow passing across the brightness of the morning. A gentle rush of air touched his face, and the brush of a feathered wing tip floated over his cheek. Opening his eyes, he caught a glimpse of the grand bird as she retreated from their encounter. While he stood gazing after the eagle, a beautiful feather floated to earth at his feet. He heard her call back to him as she soared ever higher, abandoning herself to the joy of her journey.
Johnny turned, and looked back at the rocky path he had trod. Again he spun to view the path further on. The nagging uncertainty over what might lie ahead prickled at his mind. He heard the call of the eagle again then, and as the soundwaves echoed through the canyon another voice was speaking to him... calling him onward... "…you don't have to understand….. it's enough to be here….we care…..stay with us….." And Johnny's mind's eye saw crystal blue eyes peering into his soul.
