The oil lamp that hung over the table gave too little light

Author´s note:

It´s almost 2 a.m. but I felt I couldn´t go to bed without finishing this. :-P So here goes another chapter. Wow, you guys are really awesome reviewers. Please keep reviewing. All the nice stuff you write really makes my day :-)

MagicalMoonStar:Whoa, wait a sec, are you the same MagicalMoonStar who also has a youtube account? Because if so, part of the kudos for this story definitely also go to you since I watched your episodes you put up there and then looked for more. So, yeah, partly you who got me into the whole AoS fandom :-) Btw is there any hope you´ll continue uploading there. I was trying to download stuff from veoh but that somehow doesn´t work :-(

Anyways, nice to know you´re reading too :-)

Stitch: Hehe, I know what you mean, it´s the same for me. As much as I dislike seeing him like this, there´s a part of me that enjoys it (mwahahahaha) Yep, Dermott had to come into the whole thing sooner or later, definitely. :-) Aw, and thanks for the nice words. :-D

Space-Case7029: Thanks :-)It was difficult to write yes, especially since the scene I have in mind is usually more expressive than what I manage to put down on paper, because my vocabulary fails me at timey :-P

Ila 88: Things definitely won´t be easy for them. Which is also why I´m trying to put a good amount of detail into the story. On the one hand this is what my style is like, on the ther it would seem unlikely and unrealistic if things went faster with her suddenly remembering stuff for whatever reasons and the like.

Chapter 7

Phantoms

The oil lamp that hung over the table gave too little light. During the last minutes, Sinbad had had to squint his eyes repeatedly, trying to make out details on the maps that lay spread in front of him – not that they had revealed any detail to him he had not seen or memorized by now. He knew those maps, most of them like the back of his hand and for the first time they were completely failing him. What had he expected, he wondered with a slight grudge against himself… had he really thought that there would be hints that lead them to the realm of Hades? It had been a fool´s hope and one he might have discarded right away knowing those maps anyways, but he had clung to it as a last resort and now that his fears had proven to be true he felt defeated. He gave the topmost map another long, almost reproachful look before he straightened up. "I do not think this will lead us anywhere." he said.

Doubar and Firouz who were sitting at the table where he had spread out the maps gave him looks that told him they were just as clueless as their captain. "Maybe we need to look into old lore." Firouz suggested. "See if we can find some old myths or legends and watch out if we can find any hints there. We could get to the next island and start our search there…"

"Seven nights and seven days, Firouz." Sinbad´s reply sounded a lot more harsh than he had intended – stress and concern were the reason and Firouz most likely understood, still it wasn´t an excuse to treat a friend badly.

Firouz had meant to add something, but fell silent.

"Maybe Firouz is right." Doubar insisted now. "We do not have too many choices, little brother. We do have to start somewhere."

"We do, yes." Sinbad gave back. "But we can not afford wasting time. There has to be a way, something about that necklace." He had told them about it earlier, hoping his friends had an idea about it. Another forsaken hope.

"What if that is just a trap?" Doubar asked. "A hoax to set you on the wrong trap?"

Sinbad had to admit the danger was there, but something told him it wasn´t like that. "Maybe it is." he therefore replied. "But I don´t think so. Rumina wants to see us suffer. She would not deny herself the show." And dwindling on the open see without a direction would not be too entertaining. He was sure that once they knew where to sail – if they ever found out that was – there would be dangers to face that would be far more… fun for Rumina to witness than what they were doomed to now: sailing with no direction which most likely meant that they were going the wrong way.

Again he took out the necklace and gave it a look but again the thing did not give him the slightest hint. "Have a look at it Firouz." he said, sliding the chain and pendant across the table where Firouz took it. "See if you can find out its secret." Firouz´ ideas and inventions surely were rather adventurous at times, but the captain had come to trust his friend in things like these – he had gotten them out of trouble with his little tricks a few times too often not to.

Firouz nodded and gave the necklace a look before he slipped it into the pocket of his vest and left the cabin. Sinbad could tell that his friend was glad he could leave and busy himself with something else, something that did not involve his captain being on edge about everything that was going on. Sinbad briefly closed his eyes before opening them again. He was worried and rightfully so. He knew that the crew shared this worry but they were giving him those looks, the looks that told him they were trying to be comforting, just as if they understood it was hardest for him. He approved of their care but at the same time wished for nothing more than being able to tell his men to stop it and just go and do their daily duties. That would have seemed normal. Everything normal suddenly had a strange attraction to it. Normal seemed that one´s little world was going in well ordered circles. His wasn´t right now.

"She calmed down a little?" Doubar asked before the silence between the brothers could turn into something awkward – again, something that usually never happened.

"Yes." he gave back. "yes she did."

"How is she coping?" was the next question.

Sinbad gave a sigh. "I don´t know." he said. "she seems… healthy. Her mind clear. But she remembers nothing. None of us. Not even…." Me. That was the hardest thing of all to bear "…Dermott."

Doubar raised a hand to give his little brother an encouraging pat on the shoulder. "I know it´s most difficult for you little brother." he said and in every other situation Sinbad would have contradicted, continuing his usual hide and seek about what he felt for Maeve. Now he didn´t.

"I missed her." he said after a moment without meeting the other man´s eyes, his gaze instead transfixed on a random group of islands somewhere near the Persian Sea on the map. "I miss her even more now." And indeed, having her back and at the same time not having her back was so hard to bear.

"I know, Sinbad. I know." Doubar said.

"Tell me we will find her soul." Sinbad said. It was a strange thing for him to say, something that he would not allow himself to say in front of anyone, usually not even in front of Doubar. His entire behaviour was usually the image of self assurance, never faltering, never losing hope and never showing a weakness. He had somehow even managed to suppress his grieve for Maeve ignoring the harm this had done to his own heart and soul. But now he felt he needed some reassurance that usually he himself dealt out so freely. He was at a loss of what to do and Maeve´s return and the circumstances of it all had shaken him to his very bones. In a way he felt like a small boy again who would lean against his brother for support.

"We will." Doubar replied and they both knew it was an automatic reply, an encouraging one but none that either of them was persuaded in. It wasn´t like Sinbad had given up, he never would, he would fight for her to the end if necessary, he knew he would, but being so helpless just drove him mad. He nodded and without another word left the cabin.

Maeve had not moved from her spot. He could see her silhouette stick out from the darkness, the hawk´s smaller shape close by her side. It seemed she was accepting Dermott close to her. Maybe a memory he briefly hoped and dismissed the hope. Most likely just the calming effect animals often had on a troubled spirit. He stepped closer to her, giving Maeve a half hearted smile and, fighting the urge to just sit down next to her, knowing that she needed space if he did not want to put her back into her earlier panic. So he sat opposite and across from her, his back against the side wall of the ship, his legs slightly drawn towards his body and his hands loosely draped over his knees in a way far more casual and at ease than he felt. He could see her toss him glances now and then but apart from that her attention was on Dermott, her fingers stroking the feathers on his chest absent mindedly.

"Are you hungry?" he asked after a moment unable to hold back. If he couldn´t do anything for her right now at least he had to make sure she was not going without food. "No." she told him, not looking up but her eyes fixed on the hawk. "Somebody brought me something already." She looked up and nodded over at Rongar who was leaning somewhere near the tiller. Another name she did not remember Sinbad noticed superfluously.

"Why do you behave around me like this?" she asked bluntly after a few more moments of silence.

"Like what?"

"Like… like… I don´t know. Whenever you are up here you sit near me and watch me and …and…. " It seemed to annoy her slightly as he could tell by the frown in her voice.

"Because I care." he replied before he had time to ponder about his answer.

She replied with half a chuckle half a snort.

"Care." she stated. "you don´t even know me. You behave like that around every new passenger on board your little vessel or is that just a rather clumsy way of trying to impress women?"

Sinbad opened and closed his mouth, taken aback by such a response for a moment before he reacted to her words sounding somewhat incredulous.

"No." he said and for her it had to sound somewhat insulted. "You are… you are on board of my ship, of course I do care." And you are such a stupid jerk Sinbad, he mentally scolded himself. Too deep in the habit of denying that you behave like this even now. But then again, another part of him reminded him, he could hardly act around her like he wanted. It would scare her most likely and that was the last thing he wanted.

"Good." she said, giving him a glare that for the first time reminded him of Maeve as he had known her. "Cause it´s not working." Her words were almost snappish and for a moment he was not sure whether to react with a cocky retort or a snort. Then he realised what he was doing, in what directions he was thinking. And he said nothing for a moment, his heart skipping a beat. Was it possible that there was a part of old Maeve still remaining in what Rumina had so brazenly called ´an empty shell´? She caught his gaze and gave him a look that instantly reminded him he was staring. "What?" she asked bluntly.

"Nothing." he gave back almost hastily. No, he thought. It made no sense. Her soul was captured, all of her memories gone. Which still didn´t mean that all of Maeve was gone. She was here, she was alive and breathing and in this moment he understood that even though she was without her soul, without all she had held dear and all the fond memories she…. might…. as he hoped…. hold for him, she still had her heart of course. Her attitude. Her snappishness. Which had always been one of the many things about her that had attracted him.

"Good." she replied crossing her arms looking away. "cause your staring is starting to annoy me, sailor."

He didn´t know a reply to it, just lowered his gaze.

"I can … go if you want me to." he finally said, not wanting to give her the feeling of being threatened or annoyed.

"No." she gave back after a long pause and calmer than he had expected. She never met his gaze but he could see her shake his head even in the darkness. "No. Stay."

He replied nothing, didn´t know what to say.

"I don´t like being alone." she said, seemingly speaking more to herself. "It makes me feel… isolated." He had the feeling it was not his part to speak right now, therefore he just listened. "… I do not know how I came here and I have no idea who all those people are." Maeve continued. "but … when you´re around I at least don't feel all alone."

It warmed his heart to hear her say something like this, even though it was meaningless of course. One had to feel cold without a soul. Desperately seeking for the warmth of some company. Of course she would not want to be alone.

"Do you know this feeling?" she asked, softly ruffling Dermott´s feathers again and Sinbad wasn´t even sure whether she was talking to the hawk or him for sure. "This feeling when… there is something, somewhere in the back of your mind. You can´t tell what it is but for some reason something feels okay." She looked up and gave him a thoughtful look. "this feeling of something you never saw, someone you never met and still… it´s giving you a feeling of comfort. Because for no reason it feels familiar?"

Not for the first time this day he had the feeling he was nearly choking. What she said there was impossible by everything Rumina had claimed and it wasn´t even a real memory it seemed, just like the phantom of one if at all. Maybe, just like someone who had lost a leg would sometimes feel pain in it even though it was gone, someone who had lost her soul could still feel the shadows of memories that had been taken from her? He had no idea whether that even made sense but right now it didn´t matter since his thoughts were in a strange sort of chaos anyways.

"Yes." he replied, to comfort her, to somehow try and make her talk further. It was a lie. He did not know that feeling.

But she did not say more instantly, just looked at him before she averted her gaze again.

"There is something." she said. "somewhere. So faint I can not grasp it. Something feeling familiar."

His heart was beating loudly now. He was almost sure she could hear it.

"What?" he asked in a low voice, only now realising that he was no longer with his back against the wall. He was sitting on the middle of the plank now, closer to her, close enough so he could have touched her if he had reached for her with a hand. "What is it that feels familiar?" He felt like a drowning, desperately grasping for something to hold on.

She retreated from him when he approached her and he cursed himself inwardly. "You." she said, her voice louder than before now, a mix of insecurity and reproach in her eyes. "Something about you. And it drives me mad I don´t know what it is." And before he could reply anything, she got to her feet and hurried away leaving him behind and looking after her his heart beating wildly. Could it be? he wondered. Could it really be there was the trace of a memory? The phantom of it, like a pain in a severed limb?

While he was still staring after her, an all too familiar laughter ripped him from his thoughts. He did not even have to turn around to identify it.

"Now isn´t that amusing?" Rumina asked. She was sitting on the railing giving him a look that was pure evil satisfaction. "she doesn´t remember you Sinbad, but all the times she has been thinking about you in … that way… all the times you did not take up on it left that trace." He got to his feet, ready to pull his sabre. "Off with you, Rumina." He snarled at her.

"Irony, irony." she gave back instead, chuckling at his threat. "You hurt her, too, Sinbad. That´s the only thing that is still close enough to her to seem… familiar. It´s in her heart,"

He drew his sabre and in a quick movement raised his hand to leash out at her. He struck thin night air when Rumina vanished.