As Told By Jennifer Potter

If I had thought that September 1st on the Hogwarts Express was hopefully the worst day of the entire year, then I was sorely wrong.

The first day of classes was so stressful that the thought of mending relations with Sirius hadn't even crossed my mind. I had enough to worry about, without trying to tie in Sirius to my life. The constant babble about our O.W.L.s. was extremely tiring, and the mere mention of exams made me exhausted.

Though we had four years of practice in the art of exam taking, the daunting thought of needing to remember everything we learned in the past five years took a toll on all the fifth years right from the start of the school year. Instead, we decided to focus on which extra class we thought was most important to continue on into N.E.W.T.s for.

"I wish I gave up Care of Magical Creatures. As much as I love the class, it's too much extra effort on top of Ancient Runes and Arithmancy," Lily sighed despondently at breakfast the next week as she buttered her toast.

"Well, at least the five of us are all in Arithmancy. And Lils, you have me and Mary in Care of Magical Creatures. The only extra class you have to worry about is Ancient Runes," I commented helpfully. "And since Marls and Dorcas are in Muggles Studies together, I think we'll be just fine for O.W.L.s."

In a confident tone, Marlene said, "I honestly do not worry for Muggles Studies. The only reason why I took it is because it's practical. Now that we're fifth years, I'm sure its usefulness will have run out by the end of the year."

I sighed, jealous at Marlene's carefree attitude towards her studies. Aunt Elizabeth had given me a good lecturing over the summer regarding my non-existent appreciation for revising.

"This is such a gloomy topic. Let's talk about something else," Mary chimed in after a sigh of her own. No doubt she was worried about her own studies as well. "I had really hoped Alice would have become Head Girl. It would have been a cute sight, the Head Boy and Head Girl as a couple."

Glancing down the Gryffindor table, I saw that Alice and Frank were completely absorbed with one another, leaving a bored Emmeline Vance to talk to Jacob Robinette since their best friends had only eye for each other.

"Wouldn't it be cute if Emmeline and Jacob started dating? It's really too bad that Emmeline doesn't seem all that interested," I remarked with a shrug.

"He was interested in her a while back. You know how our families were close? Well, Jacob mentioned it to me a couple of times," Dorcas casually mentioned as the four of us swiveled our heads to gap at her in surprise.

"I wonder if he still fancies her. I don't remember her saying anything about him asking her out to Hogsmeade," Marlene mused, narrowing her eyes at Emmeline and Jacob.

Lily snorted, tossing her shiny red hair behind her. "Just because a person fancies someone doesn't mean they will ask that person to Hogsmeade."

"You would know, wouldn't you, Lils?" I teased. I shouldn't have said anything, but it was too good of an opportunity not to. "Aren't you just waiting for the day that James asks you out?"

"Yes of course. That's what it is. I'm in such a dither because Potter hasn't made a move yet," Lily replied dryly as her eyes sparkled again with amusement. The openness in which she spoke of James made me glad. Long gone were the days when we were unable to bring up James or Sirius because of a fear of argument.

The thought of Sirius reminded me of my resolve to fix matters with him. Whispers amongst Hogwarts students whenever I passed reminded me of the way I had lost my temper on the train, and renewed a sense of embarrassment in my stomach.

As though it was fated to be, I looked up from my breakfast to spot Sirius standing up from his spot at the Gryffindor table, his hand clutching a letter. His face was set in angry lines.

"Save me a spot in History of Magic, will you?" I said to the girls as I grabbed my book bag. Not pausing to give them time to ask questions or stop me, I quickly waved before rushing after Sirius.

"Sirius!" I panted, jogging after him. I realized for the first time that Sirius had grown several inches during the summer. Several onlookers walking to and from the Great Hall stared as I frantically ran to catch up with Sirius, who was heading back towards the Gryffindor Tower. "Wait, Sirius!"

Sirius turned around at the sound of his name being called for the second time. I swore his face almost lit up for a moment before settling on the same grim lines as before. Though I was standing less than a feet apart from him, there was coldness and distance emanating from him. It was a sort of aura that Sirius had displayed around Slytherins or bothersome girls like Hazel Abrams and Caroline Pace.

"How… how are you?" I asked, faltering at cold expression on Sirius. He had never treated me like this before. "Is that a letter from home?"

"What do you want, Jennifer?" Sirius said bitingly. His stormy grey eyes danced dangerously and it was evident by the rigidness of his body that he wasn't in the mood for games.

Gathering up my courage and ridding myself of my pride, I quickly said, "I'm sorry, Sirius. I overreacted about what happened with Rosier. I hate it when we have a row."

Sirius sighed. He ran one hand through his messy but soft black hair before saying, "All we do these days is row, Jen. I anger you, and you anger me. Why are we constantly running around in circles and always apologizing?"

"I know, it's my fault," I said miserably. Without meaning to, the entire weight of what had transpired last summer fell on to my shoulders. My body drooped slightly without my notice as I leaned tiredly against the cold wall.

"I just got so upset at the thought of you being engaged, and when I was going to reply to your letters, James came home and was going on about how you had visited Rosier and all thoughts of replying to your letter and being unreasonable left my mind. I was so mad that I should have realized that it's silly to think you would follow up on an engagement that your parents had arranged."

I averted my eyes from Sirius, thinking about the many things I had left unsaid. The crowd bustling from the Great Hall grew as the students started heading towards their first class and the older students either to the Library or to their Common Room. I had heard from Dorcas that Lily had reprimanded Sirius on the bus, which was extremely odd given that Lily had lectured me as well. Lily had been right when she accused me of avoiding my feelings.

It wasn't something I wanted to admit to Sirius or to myself, but my anger upon finding out about him and Marlene and about Eliana Rosier had nothing to do with being a friend. My anger stemmed from my jealousy, a rage that I couldn't control whenever I thought about Sirius caring for another girl the way more than the way he cares for me as a sister.

I thought bitterly to the conversation I had with Remus in our fourth year following the reveal of Marlene and Sirius's escapades. Sirius would never think of me as anything more, and the thought killed me more than anything.

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed Sirius's intense staring. If I had turned to look, then I would have noticed how a million things crossed his mind before he reached across and pulled me into a tight hug, startling me.

"It's my fault too," Sirius almost whispered. "I can never be good enough for you, and I'm always making mistakes. I shouldn't have blamed you for starting a duel with Rosier. I promise you, I will never fight with you again. I don't think I can bare it."

My heart melted at his words and I hugged him back. Lily's voice ran through my head, telling me that I was wasting an opportunity to tell him about my feelings.

But the past year had been so difficult emotionally that I didn't think I could bare it to take in the apologetic look Sirius would give me when he told me that his feelings for me were only that of a brother to a sister. For now, I was content enough to attempt to be a mature friend, understanding and forcing myself to accept that Sirius Black, an all-around ladies' man, would be catching several witches' eyes.

The two of us relinquished our grasp on the other as I laughed. "Let's go to History of Magic. I think that James would be very unhappy if you decided to leave him to suffer alone."

Grinning widely and thrusting his arm around my shoulder, Sirius and I walked together to class, chatting casually as though neither of us were hiding feelings that was just bursting to be said.

"Merlin's beard! Did you hear? They offered Dumbledore the position of Minister of Magic again? Apparently there are a lot of people unhappy with the current Minister of Magic, Lorcan McLaird," James exclaimed loudly as he sat down beside me and Mary in the Common Room. We were both occupied by the textbooks in front of us. "There's a small mutiny within the Ministry over McLaird's tactics. They think he's too soft."

Glancing at my cousin, I noticed the Daily Prophet he was holding and snatched it away. I frowned when I didn't see a headline about Dumbledore. "How'd you find out?" I asked.

"Dad. I got a letter today about the game tomorrow. Figured we'd want to know," James said casually though the grin on his face showed the excitement he could hardly contain. It was November, and that meant Quidditch season.

I rolled my eyes but smiled. "I still can't believe you wrecked your broom during tryouts. How'd Rudolph King take the news?"

Rudolph King, the seventh year Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, was an extremely capable Seeker who was notorious for being too soft on his teammates.

"He was more worried for my safety than how we're going to get along if I'm broom-less," James sighed. "Dad seemed to think that I purposely flew into a Bludger in an attempt to break my old broom to get a new one. Can't imagine why he'd think that."

Noticing Mary had been keeping quiet ever since he sat down, James directed the conversation at her and asked, "How've you been, McDonald? Jennifer isn't wearing you down, is she?"

I snorted. The thought that I could wear someone down with revision was laughable. Mary, seeming to agree, giggled. She shook her head and replied, "I wish we could just fast forward past our O.W.L.s. Transfiguration was such a headache today."

"Vanishing is an extremely difficult topic," James nodded gravely in agreement. I snorted again; he and Sirius had no difficulty managing the Vanishing Spell.

"You and Black seem to have such a knack for Transfiguration," Mary said with a smile. "Pettigrew and Lupin aren't bad either. They must be lucky to have you two helping them."

"Remus doesn't need help, and Pete does quite well in Transfiguration when he wants to," James shrugged dismissively. "I wish McGonagall would favor us… so much homework when Quidditch is starting."

In a superior tone, I started to say how I had been right to not try out for the Quidditch team in our hardest year at Hogwarts when I was interrupted by the loud voices travelling into the Common Room from the outside corridor. The Fat Lady's portrait slammed loudly.

I turned my head to see Lily storming in, her eyes gathered with tears. She marched up the stairs towards our dormitory, Marlene and Dorcas trailing fast behind her. Alarmed, Mary and I stood up and ran after our three friends. I had missed James's anxious look of worry in my hurry.

When Mary and I had caught up to the other three, Lily was crying on her bed as Marlene and Dorcas sat next to her, silently comforting her.

"Lily! What happened?" I asked worriedly, crouching down on the floor next to her bed. Mary jumped up onto the bed behind Lily and gently pulled her red hair from her face.

Lily was crying so loudly that I could barely hear the word "Severus" coming out of her mouth. I had the right mind to march down the stairs and find Snivellus at that very moment. Clenching my fists, I sighed as quietly as I could without upsetting Lily further.

Dorcas spoke up, relieving my redheaded friend of any further speaking. "Muggles Studies had let out early and we waited for Lily outside Ancient Runes. You remember how she has the class with Snape. They'd had an argument in class, and Lily was storming away from him as their class let out. She managed to tell us before she started breaking down that Snape had told her that he and the other Slytherins had met up with Lucius Malfoy. Lily deduced that it had to do with Voldemort, and Snape tried to make the same argument about why Voldemort was right. She started mentioning something about flowers, but couldn't go on."

I grimaced, looking down to stare at the wooden floor. The four of us stayed there with Lily, silently comforting her. I couldn't tell how much time had passed until we noticed she had fallen asleep.

When I stood up again, stretching my legs, I had to say the thing that plagued my mind.

"Lily is denying her feelings," I proclaimed to the result of varying reactions. Marlene snorted, Dorcas shrugged, and Mary gasped.

"Look, Lily cares for Snivellus, and I think deep down somewhere, as disgusted as I personally am because Lils can do much better, she cares for him more than just a friend. Though I'm not sure she'll continue to think that if he keeps this up any longer," I explained, throwing myself onto Dorcas's bed.

Dorcas, pushing me aside to lie beside me, said, "I agree that she cares for Snape deeply, but I'm not sure that whether there's something more to it matters at all. He keeps upsetting her, and quite frankly, I don't understand why she lets herself feel that way."

"Lily Evans does not fancy Severus Snape. The world will end before that happens because he is not right for her at all," Marlene exclaimed. She threw her hands up with exasperation and groaned. "She can't fancy him."

"Just because two people aren't right for each other doesn't mean they can't have feelings for each other," Mary pointed out. "We really shouldn't discuss this without Lily. It's her feelings and her friendship."

"But we are her friends," I sighed, staring at the ceiling. Worry and pain was a constant companion of our lives these days, and I hated it. Sitting up and looking intently at each of my friends, I said, "Shouldn't what we say matter? The world is changing, and if Lily's anchor is Severus Snape, then she is going to drown, and it is our job to save her. The outside world and our lives aren't mutually exclusive."

Dorcas shook her head and placed her hand on my shoulders. She replied gently, "They most definitely are not mutually exclusive, but why should that mean we should let it take over our lives? Life goes on amidst a war! Voldemort and the war may be breaching these walls, but we will have life after Hogwarts to worry about that. We need to preserve this precious time because we don't get to relive this era again."

"What a depressing thought," Marlene mumbled with a sigh. Her despondent expression, no doubt brought upon by our conversation, showed exactly how all of us felt.

I collapsed onto my bed, and thoughts of Quidditch drifted back into my head…

It was Quidditch season, and the atmosphere around Hogwarts was electric. The match between Gryffindor and Slytherin happened to fall on Halloween, just days after Sirius's birthday.

Breakfast was a tense affair, although James and Sirius did their best to lighten up the mood. The week leading up to the game had been absolutely horrid. It reminded me of when Mary had been cursed by Mulciber, and Gryffindors and Slytherins couldn't walk down the corridor without getting into a duel.

"I bloody hope we win," Alice grumbled as she and Emmeline appeared next to me and the girls in the stands. We were all waiting for the game to begin, and the crowd in the stands was getting rowdy and noisy with excitement.

Nothing, not even terrible weather, could deter Hogwarts students, specifically Gryffindors, from spectating and cheering on a Quidditch game.

"You're telling me," I snorted, readjusting my Gryffindor scarf due to the cold. I didn't fancy getting frostbite. "This was all I've been hearing about for the past week. Can you imagine the Slytherins if we lose?"

"They'll get all the bragging rights," Mary said as she made a face as she stared across the stands towards the Slytherin section.

I glanced at where Mary's line of sight and felt an ominous feeling wash over me. The separation in the stands reminded me of how we'd be separated in the war after we graduate from Hogwarts.

"Is it bad that all I can think about right now is the Charms essay waiting for us when we get back to the Tower?" Lily admitted. Her eyes looked determinedly away from the Slytherin side of the stands.

I rolled my eyes and threw my arms around Lily, saying, "Oh, Lils. I know you secretly love Quidditch. Don't deny it."

Lily didn't get a chance to argue as the crowd began cheering at the appearance of the players to signal the start of the game.

To say the game was intense was an understatement. There were several times throughout the game when I legitimately worried for the safety of the Gryffindor players. My heart had jumped at many near misses with the Bludger that I had lost count how many times it's been.

"This game isn't going too well, is it?" Dorcas murmured as James ducked his head just in time to avoid a Bludger that would have hit him. "We're only leading by 20 points."

"It's a bloody miracle that we're even leading," I said exasperatedly. I was frustrated, and the increasingly cold weather wasn't making my mood any better. I almost wished I was up in the air, flying with the rest of the team to warm up my body. "Rudolph King has too much of a soft spot. He should have replaced Jonathan Becks as a Beater. Becks is horrible."

Every single time Sirius flew by our side of the stands, I noticed the look of pure frustration on his face. Jonathan Becks, who had been Sirius's partner for the past three years, was a seventh year that needed to be replaced three years ago.

"We would be winning by a lot more if it weren't for the Slytherin Beaters," Lily agreed as she looked at the game with perceptive eyes. "They're breaking every formation and every pass that Potter has our Chasers flying in."

I knew that no doubt I would be hearing James and Sirius complain after this game. Our current Keeper paled in comparison to Wayne Robinette, Jonathan Becks was an absolutely nightmare, and to top it all off, Rudolph King, who was a great Seeker, hadn't been able to spot the Snitch once during the past two hours.

We watched the game for a couple more minutes when suddenly, the two Seekers dived sharply towards a tiny speck of gold glittering near the center of the pitch.

As per usual in a Hogwarts Quidditch game, the entire game paused and everyone held their breath we watched Rudolph King battling to catch the Snitch.

Just as Rudolph was about to catch the Snitch about 25 feet up in the air, there was a familiar sound of the crack of a Bludger. Before we could even blink, the Bludger had made contact with the back of Rudolph's head.

I, along with the rest of the audience, gasped loudly and immediately clutched Lily's hand. We all watched with bated breaths as one as Rudolph's grasp over the Snitch faltered, and the Snitch flitted away towards the hands of the Slytherin Seeker, Regulus Black. In that same second, Rudolph fell off his broom and landed swiftly onto the ground of the pitch in a loud thud.

The shocked silence of the audience didn't last long as the Slytherins realized they had won the game; their cheers of celebration, however, was nearly drowned out by the shrieks that had erupted form the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws.

Everyone in our side of the stands had jumped up in our seats. My hand was covering my mouth in horror I stared at my friends as they gave me the same look of horror in return.

"The Slytherin beaters should get banned for this!" Marlene shrieked loudly, her expression full of fury. All around us, Gryffindors were voicing similar opinions; some were demanding for a rematch. Clearly, we were all choosing to focus on the injury of our Captain rather than the fact that we had now lost to Slytherin by 130 points.

"Never mind that," Alice said impatiently with a horrified look on her face. "Do you reckon Rudolph King will be okay?"

"Let's get back to the Common Room," Lily said, ushering all of us out of the stands. "It will do us no good to linger here and make us more nervous. I'm sure that we'll find out from McGonagall."

Waiting in the Gryffindor Common Room wasn't any better. James and Sirius were so frustrated and anxious that neither of them spoke a word to me, though I had given them both a hug in comfort.

"I overheard McGonagall say that Emma Vanity, the Slytherin captain, wasn't happy about the illegal hit," Remus said to me and the girls as us fifth years sat down in a corner and quietly discussed what was happening.

"Did you manage to see who had hit the Bludger? I hope it was Wilkes. Maybe then he can be expelled," Marlene said viciously, crossing her arms. Next to me, Mary made a noise of agreement.

"It was Wilkes. Higgs wouldn't dare do that because the only person on the team that stands against Vanity on the Slytherin team is Wilkes. Vanity can't stand Wilkes," Sirius finally said as he collapsed into an arm chair next to mine. His expression looked worn-out and tired. I raised my eyebrows and gently nudged Sirius, indicating for him to continue.

Noticing my expression, Sirius explained, "McGonagall had rushed onto the field, screaming and yelling. Old Slughorn wasn't too happy either. He summoned Wilkes up to his office. McGonagall said she'll come around the Common Room to let us know how Rudolph is though. He was losing quite a lot of blood."

I bit my lip in worry. I hated the Slytherins, but Emma Vanity, who was a sixth year Chaser, had always been a fair player. James had begrudgingly admitted that Emma Vanity was far better of a competitor than some of the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws that he had played against. She had earned herself a reputation of being perhaps the only fair Slytherin who wouldn't bully other students in the corridors.

Our group fell into silence as all of us waited anxiously for McGonagall to give us the verdict on Rudolph. It seemed evident that no Gryffindors would do anything else until they knew what would happen to the rest of the Quidditch season. We were not a hard House to predict.

We didn't have to wait much longer because not five minutes later, McGonagall appeared through the portrait hole of the Fat Lady. Usually, Gryffindor Tower would be loud with commotion, all demanding to know what was going on.

This time, however, everyone was too nervous to say anything.

McGonagall had a rather despondent look on her face as she said, "Mr. King will be alright. Madame Pomfrey is taking good care of him, but he will be unable to play Quidditch for the rest of the season."

I thought McGonagall was going to end her speech there, but to my surprise, she turned towards James and directed her next words at him. "Potter, you are going to be Captain for the rest of this season. You will be responsible for finding us a new Seeker."

My jaw dropped. Gob smacked, I turned my head and stared at James in disbelief. He stared back at me in equal disbelief as McGonagall left the Common Room.

As soon as she left, the spell keeping the Tower quiet had burst and suddenly, everyone and their mother seemed to be yelling over each other.

"Did… that really just happen?" Remus asked in an unsure voice as he stared up at his friend.

Sirius, however, had a different reaction. After he recovered from his share of shock, his face split into a wide grin as he said cheerfully, "James, mate, you're Captain now! Let's not do any more early morning practices."

I snorted, resisting the urge not to laugh at the last comment, feeling it wasn't an appropriate time for laughter and jokes.

"Yeah… but we have to find a new Seeker," James groaned in frustration. "Practically in the middle of the season too!"

Marlene rolled her eyes at James's exaggeration. "James, it's only been one game. That's hardly the middle of the season. I thought you'd be going mad with excitement by now."

"I don't want to be Captain if it means the entire success of our Quidditch season rests on my shoulders," James cried, flinging his arm in the air.

He promptly ignored other Gryffindors (who were trying to congratulate him or weasel information out of him regarding who was going to be the next Seeker) and groaned loudly again.

"Oh, Potter. The day that you accept responsibility is the day that I will kiss the Giant Squid," Lily said with a sigh as she stood up. "I'm going to tackle that Charms essay now before we get any more distracted. Anyone want to come with? We're not going to save the Quidditch season by sitting here and discussing it."

Dorcas, Mary, and Marlene, to my great surprise, got up.

"Marls, you're working on the essay now?" I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "It's not due for another three days. You can come with me to the library tomorrow to write it."

"Flitwick called me into his office and told me I needed to put in more of an effort into my essays otherwise he'd write home. If my mum gets an owl home about my terrible Charms grade, then I'll have to feed myself to the hippogriffs," Marlene sighed, a glum expression on her pretty features.

I nodded in understanding and waved my friends off. This day had been depressing, and I wasn't going to make it worse by working on my Charms essay right now.

"So, what are you going to do about Seeker tryouts?" Remus asked as soon as the girls had gone up the stairs towards our dormitory.

"That's the problem," James sighed as he took over the empty chair that Lily had previously been sitting in. "Rudolph actually wanted to be Keeper this year because he'd gotten in a fair bit of practice, and he was a lot better at Keeping than Adrian Ross, but the problem was that all of the Seekers who tried out were horrible. I had spotted the Snitch six times before the first person trying out had spotted it. They weren't particularly good a flying either."

"While you're at it, you should get rid of Jonathan Becks," Sirius scowled, though he had the manners to keep his voice down as Jonathan was sitting only a few feet away from us. "The bloody git nearly hit a Bludger at me."

"I overheard some of the Ravenclaw girls pin over you, Sirius," Peter said with a wishful expression. Peter always had an issue with his self-confidence, something that I wasn't sure the boys had bettered or worsened. "They were admiring how you were doing the work for two people."

I tried not to let Peter's comment about the Ravenclaw girls affect me as I kept my expression neutral. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed James glance over at me as Sirius said loudly, "Damn right I was."

A brilliant idea seemed to have struck in James's mind, however, the longer he stared at me. I knew that expression all too well. Warily, I asked, "James, out with it. What's your brilliant plan?"

"You should join the team, Jen!" James said excitedly. "You're a wonderful Chaser! Take my position as Chaser and I'll be the Seeker. This works out perfectly."

"It's perfect except for the fact that I'm not getting a new Beater partner," Sirius muttered under his breath though he looked at me in interest. "This just might work though, mate!"

I felt panic rise up in me as I knew I was going to be guilt-tripped into doing this. "No. I'm standing firm on this matter. I'm not doing it. I'm sure you can hold tryouts for Chaser and find a good replacement."

"But, Jen…" James whined as he got up onto his knees in front of me. "I don't trust anyone more than I trust you. I've seen you play Quidditch your entire life. This will be easy. Trust me."

Remus raised his eyebrows at me when I turned to him for help. He just shrugged and commented, "I'm staying out of this."

I looked back and forth between James and Sirius, both of whom had latched onto this idea very quickly and very passionately, and sighed. There was no point in arguing with either of them.

"Fine. I'll do it. But on one condition, James Potter," I added before James could cheer loudly in triumph.

His hazel eyes sparkled with excitement as he agreed, "Yes. I'll do anything. What is it?"

"You can't ask Lily out on a date until she has feelings for you," I said in a sort of this-is-final tone that I've often heard McGonagall use on our class whenever we complained about Transfiguration homework.

James made a face as Sirius laughed loudly.

"I agree. I promise to not ask out Lily Evans until she fancies me back," James said, giving in to my request. He held out his hand and as I took his hand, I grinned.

This year might just be a good one after all.