Um... I really don't have anything to say here, except that I like this one. :3 I've been saving some of my best gags for it, and it includes my 200,000th published word on here!
"I don't really know... It sounds like fun, but I get the feeling doing it on the moon would just be a really slow and underwhelming version of doing it on Earth."
Ferb held up a different set of blueprints, to which Phineas responded, "No, it probably wouldn't be too different on Venus, either. You just can't get good bungee jumping out in space."
Ferb lowered his eyelids. "I mean, I'm not scared or anything. It's just that sometimes I wish inspiration would come just a little easier. Like if I just held out my hands and it would-"
As he was speaking, Phineas demonstrated his desire: his outstretched hands and their instinctive reaction to wrap themselves around what had landed in them had cut him off.
"Well, that worked."
The two boys eyed the throwing disk Phineas had caught. "Hey, can I have that back?"
They turned to the voice, which belonged to a certain Ballpit Kid peeking over the fence. "Sorry. I threw it from this yard."
"Oh, no problem," Phineas responded, flicking it back to the grateful extra. "In fact, I think I know what we're gonna do today!"
"No. No, you don't!" Candace demanded after pushing her way through the glass door. "And even if you thought you do, you don't. Unless you're talking about getting busted, in which case, bingo!"
She crossed her arms and grinned at the prospect. "I'll be sure of it."
"Actually, I was thinking more like-"
"Nooo! Don't even tell me! I'm going to find out for myself, and when I do..."
Candace held up a small, black digital camera, as if threateningly. "...So will Mom."
"Okay," Phineas allowed. "So let's get to work."
In agreement, Ferb held up a drill.
"Hey, where's Perry?" Phineas wondered.
"That's a good platypus. That's such a good monotreme! Yes, you are..."
Isabella's pet-reserved sweet talk was somewhat appreciated by the incognito secret agent. Not having received a call from the agency yet, he was content helping his owners' friends in whatever it was they wanted to accomplish with him.
A dark hand opened up in front of the girl who held him, and in it was an unmistakable Fireside Girls Accomplishment Patch. "Alright, there's one Animal Lovers Patch for you, and one for me," Holly said, proudly showing off the new, circular addition to her sash.
"Already?" Isabella looked up. Now that she thought about it, the inside of the Lodge was looking a little ridiculous - there were animals everywhere. She noticed Milly trying to fend off some squirrels, smiled at the amount of kittens affectionately clinging to Katie, and looked away as Adyson playfully noogied a goat. Meanwhile, Gretchen was sitting off in the corner with a box of tissues, complaining about her many allergies to the animals in the room. "I guess you're right. We've all earned it."
She placed Perry down, stood up straight, and used two fingers to loudly whistle for the girls' attention. "Hey, everyone! We're all done with these guys. Holly's got the patches, we can put all the animals back. But we still have plenty of time left today, so I'm open to suggestions."
The other six each then produced their copy of the Pocket Abridged Fireside Girls Manual Table of Contents, looking for patch names that sounded appealing. "How about this one?" Ginger proposed, pointing to a picture of one that caught her eye. "I always found trigonometry interesting."
"That's calculus, Ginger."
"Right..."
Katie spoke up. "I wasn't there when we got the Cool Acronyms Patch. I could use one of those."
"I can use an epipen," Gretchen returned.
"How about this?" Suggested Adyson, "The Astrology Patch."
Isabella lit up. "That's the one."
By the time Isabella was finished with Perry, the monotreme was so rattled he began to quiver in her chihuahua's signature manner. Discreetly, he shook himself out of it and slipped out of the cabin.
On two feet now, Perry grappling hook-ed up the side of the building.
Still making sure he was unseen, the formally-capped platypus climbed into the chimney webbed feet-first. He lowered his eyelids determinedly as it shifted downwards so that it formed a 45-degree angle with the roof, then blasted him off cannon-style in the direction of a certain purple building.
He was to be debriefed on his way there, his beeping wristwatch implied. Monogram's image flickered onto the machine's surface.
"Good morning, Agent P. Thanks again for testing the new entrance for Agent Pinky from Wanda's division, how did you get there so fast?
"Anyway, it seems Doofenshmirtz is doing his research again. This time, it's neuroscience. He's been actively studying the centers of the human brain concerned with memory and - of all things - gullibility. We need you to make sure to stop whatever he's up to!"
By the time Monogram had clicked off, Perry's momentum from the chimney cannon had almost completely worn off, and he was now free-falling to the ground again. "Yeah... It seems the cannons weren't calibrated enough," Monogram momentarily beeped on again to say. "Just use your jetpack instead or something."
Perry then rustled the vines of a thorn bush with the weight of his body.
"I kissed a squirrel and I liked i-it," a crouching Buford could be heard mumbling to himself as he got up from double-knotting his TUFF SHOO LAYSIZZ! "What?" He spat, upon receiving strange looks from his friends, "I ain't singin'!"
"We... Didn't say you were," Phineas informed. "Anyway, I was thinking. What say you on big robots for today?"
"Didn'tcha already do that?"
"Nah, just the one. And these serve an entirely different purpose. You know those throwing disks..."
Phineas's voice grew distant, indicating movement away from him. From behind the gate into the backyard, Isabella and her troops were conversing about their plan of action.
"Alright, there are seven of us, and four of them," the leader counted before opening a large book. "It says here that there are twelve signs, so we don't have one of each. We'll have to make do."
"Okay, so why are we here again?" A curious Milly wondered.
"Well, here's something you don't know about astrology," explained Adyson slyly, "It's supposed to determine what kind of person you'll fall in love with!"
Many of the other girls giggled at this; Holly gave a well-placed, "That explains a lot."
"That's not the only reason, Adyson," countered Isabella. "You're with me on this, right, Ginger?"
The Japanese-American girl saluted. "Sir, yes, sir!"
"See? Good. Now, whaddo we got..." Isabella flipped through the book. "Astrology is based on birthdays, so that makes me - Gemini."
"Oh, me next," Ginger requested.
Isabella held up a hand. "Hm... August seventeenth - a Leo!"
"Um, that's not my birthday..." Ginger complained.
"No, not you; Phineas!"
Everyone groaned at this. "Oh, like you wouldn't be just the slightest bit interested? Just wait one second, I'm going to see if we match up!"
"Yeah, let's let Isabella do that," Katie instructed. "I can tell you all you want to know about astrology. See, I'm an Aquarius..."
"Traitor," the leader whispered under her breath as the others crowded around Katie. "Anyway, a Gemini and a Leo..."
Through the ruckus of construction sounds emanating from the adjacent backyard, a high-pitched yelp sounded. Phineas looked up from the waistline of a robot the size of his house and quipped, "Strange. This might be the second time this summer that that wasn't Candace," before flipping his welding mask back down and returning to work.
"Oh, goodness! What, Isabella?"
The girl in pink trembled with the book open in her hands, requesting sympathy from whichever one of the girls had called her. "It-it's not on here. It says nothing about Geminis and Leos! Only Libra, Aquarius-"
"I think Ferb's a Libra," interrupted Gretchen.
Awkwardly, a beat passed...
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
Perry the Platypus rather preferred using his jetpack for transportation: it was much better at letting him crash through walls than the cannon. Once properly inside the apartment of his nemesis, he powered off the rocket and struck his signature landing pose.
It was only tentative, however; this was not the room he was looking for. The pastel pink patterned wallpaper starkly contrasted the futuristic dark green and purple he was expecting. Even more curiously, the Drusselstinian doctor was nowhere to be found.
In his place was the turned back of a plump, on-the-verge-of-old woman with her hair in curlers. "Good heavens!" She exclaimed, "What was that? Is Tony scratching at the walls again?"
When she turned around, Perry noticed the fluffy white and orange feline she caressed in her arms. "Now, Angelina, don't be scared. Mommy's got you," she crooned, then to Perry: "So what in tarnation are you?"
Realizing he had definitely hit the wrong floor, Perry nervously raised his hands. He had heard tales of the illustrious neighbor Mrs. Thompson downstairs, and was less than prepared to face the obvious cat lady.
A slender, black creature rubbed up against him as he hastily withdrew a wallet to repay the damage he'd caused. "Oh, don't mind Vinnie. He just loves people! Loves them to death! Hey, why is it you're giving me money now?"
With a tip of his hat, Perry hit ignition on the jetpack. "Huh. Well, he sure seemed like a nice fellow, just coming in to pay me cash. Perhaps I'll use it to fill in the giant, gaping hole he left in the wall."
Outside, a hovering Perry sent the camera a flat glance as he heard her consider, "But then, a vacation to the South Carolina beaches sounds rather dandy right now!"
"And, one last screw - then we're done!" An excited Phineas lowered himself to ground level to inspect his creations. Three considerably large robots stood upright in the yard, and in front of them, a cylindrical container the size of a shed and roughly the shape of a throwing disk.
"That's great!" Irving's voice could be heard (no one had seen him come in). "I'll get a picture to commemorate!"
Next to him, Buford finished off the last of whatever liquid his plastic, red party cup contained at the same time as Irving raised his camera. One second before the inevitable flash went off, the bully thrusted his refuse into its field of view.
"Hey, half of it is all red for some reason!" Irving complained, eying the camera thoroughly, inspecting it for anything that would have caused a malfunction.
"Photocup!" Buford enthusiastically informed before crushing the plastic container and tossing it at the frustrated photographer. "Like a photobomb, but with a cup."
Perry counted the floors with his webbed fingers this time before deciding which one through which to smash. And this time, he was relieved to find the sinister lab of Doofenshmirtz greeting him.
"Ah, Perry the Platypus, you're incredibly late today!" Doof kindly observed. "And by 'incredibly', you know I mean absolutely credibly!"
A flip of a large wall-mounted switch later, and Perry found himself incapacitated by two converging halves of a large flowerpot. "I mean, seriously, you had me waiting like eleven minutes for you! Does this have anything to do with the earthquake that just happened? The whole building had shaken just like it does whenever you crash through my wall!"
Perry inwardly cringed, yet remained outwardly stoic and collected. "Anyway, before I show you my -Inator, I need to ask: do you believe in tree-people?"
This time, Perry let his confusion show. "I mean, not people who live in trees; like, actual anthropomorphic trees. Because I just had a dream last night where I was stuck with a small one - like, all day - and it was totally convinced I was whatever mixed-up species it was. The whole time, can you believe it?
"Eventually, I had to explain to him (her? It?) in song form that I'm a human. I made up a song in my dream, Perry the Platypus! Crazy, right?"
He then turned the other way to grab the king-sized sheet off his latest invention. "Anyway, that's the reason I decided to make my Disbelieve-Inator!"
Perry's continued look of confusion evidenced his failure to draw the connection. "Oh, what, that wasn't a good enough segway for you? It's just, how the thing never believed me when I said I was a human. It was so frustrating, I figure with Roger's press conference today and everything, he might learn to appreciate being so convincing all the time - when no one believes a word he says!"
This evil laugh was more of a series of ecstatic evil squeaks. "I'm gonna go fire it up."
"Ferb's astrological sign matches up with me... better than Phineas's does?"
Isabella was terrified at the realization; after all, it was entirely possible that 'Aunt Isabella' could have married either of the two brothers. "It's true! Remember how we had to learn everyone's birthdays for our Naternal Anniversary patches?" Gretchen, to Isabella's horror, reminded her.
"I-I guess it is..."
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Pushed Holly, "You should go spend a day with Ferb, see what it's like!"
"Yeah," Adyson agreed, "You might have to get used to it!"
The sickening feeling in Isabella's abdomen intensified. "I'll go in with you," Ginger volunteered. "I want to spend a day with Baljeet..."
"You really like him, don't you?" Isabella observed, as the two pushed open the gate.
"More than every other thing I like, combined!" The girl closed the door behind her, allowing the five others to watch from a distance without interfering.
"Well, that's more than I can say about my crush," Isabella found herself admitting.
At that point, Phineas stepped into frame. "Your crush, Isabella?"
Eyes wider than those of a deer caught in the similical deer's in headlights, the poor girl tried desperately to cover her tracks. "No - I mean, I said - Mike - Rush. Yeah, that's it! He's - a friend of Katie's?"
"Ooohhh, okay. That makes a lot more sense. Anyway, while you girls are here, why not join us? We're already finished building today's Big Idea!"
"Cool! What does it do?"
"You'll have to see for yourself. Everyone else is already inside. Come on, let's ride it!"
The three opened up the door to the circular riding chamber and buckled themselves in, Isabella strangely making sure to place herself next to Ferb.
"I'm really looking forward to this." She tried to eliminate the worry in her voice. "You're so good at inventing, uh, Ferb."
Only those who knew him well enough could pick out the slight confusion in his demeanor with the following thumbs-up.
Two of the three robots put themselves into position in different areas across town. The remainder approached the ride, picked it up, and threw it to the next like one would a throwing disk. Isabella reached for the hand of the boy next to her, expecting one, but realizing it belonged to the other.
...This was going to be a long day.
It did not take much for Perry to throw his body weight into the air and come down again, and after a few times, the ceramic pot that contained him effortlessly shattered into countless pieces. Once this was accomplished, he used his downward momentum from the jump to spring up again, this time in the direction of Doofenshmirtz.
"Just imagine the look on his face when no one will listen to him at all! It's going to be priceless. Hey, what was - oof!"
As usual, the evil scientist found himself taken down by the small, teal fist of his platypus nemesis. "You know, it's so rude to just interrupt people like that - R-O-O-D, rude! I was talking, you know, but do you care? Apparently not, Perry the Rude-apus!"
His lecture had somehow gotten to the usually well-behaved monotreme, and it showed on his guilty face. "That's right, how can you be a good guy and not have any manners? Now, let's try this again. You go over there and let me finish my sentence, then you can have at me, okay?"
Reluctantly, Perry nodded. "Now, as I was saying... What was I saying?"
Perry facepalmed, then delivered the promised blow. "Wait, that didn't count!" Doof claimed. "Now, we're going to try this until we get it right. Get over there, and we can try again."
Minutes later, the Frisbee-themed ride had already come to a stop. The door to the thrown riding chamber opened abruptly, allowing children to spill out.
"Woah! I can't tell left from right!" Phineas dizzily celebrated.
Baljeet agreed: "I cannot tell front from back!"
"Oh, sweet ground!" Buford exclaimed, actively hugging armfuls of sky.
"Whew, that was fun, Ph-Ferb..."
Isabella inwardly cringed. "You know, I-I think I'm going to step outside for a moment. I'll be right back."
Gretchen, Adyson, Milly, Katie, and Holly watched as the girl sped out the gate and down the street, seeming to want to be alone for a while.
"Uh, should we follow her?" The former suggested, but no one was willing to take action on the proposal.
"Aha, I've got you now!" Candace insisted, opening the gate to the backyard. She invested one precious second of busting time to gape at the boys' creations before raising her camera for photographic evidence.
The flash went off, and somehow, the camera remained unharmed within Candace's hands. "Yes! I've gotta show this to Mo- what?"
She was horrified to know that while the picture was able to fit in most of the boys, a large, red something had blocked where the giant robots were standing. "Photocup," Buford explained smugly, withdrawing the plastic container and sipping something out of it.
Candace growled, unsatisfied, and made the decision. "Fine! I'm just going to get Mom for this one. I'll be right back!"
She sprinted inside the house, not bothering to close the door behind her. "Mom, Mom, Mom! Come, you've got to see this!"
Linda Flynn-Fletcher turned around to face her daughter. "Oh, sure, you tell me this every day, and I haven't seen it once; but okay, today I'll be totally open and receptive to the possibility that the boys are criminal masterminds, or whatever, just for you. I have no reason not to believe you, after all."
"Oh, you won't after today," insisted Candace, grabbing her by the arm. "Just wait, you'll see it!"
She led the two out the door, where Phineas, Ferb, Buford, Baljeet, Ginger, and Irving were situated. "So, how awesome was that, anyway?" Phineas was saying, earning a couple whoops and hollers from the other kids who enjoyed the ride. "Oh, hi, Mom."
"Wha- Phineas and Ferb, what are these?" Linda sternly inquired. She gazed up and down one of the towering robots that occupied her backyard.
Candace whipped to face her mother. "Wait, you're really seeing it!?" She shook her by the shoulders. "It didn't disappear before you came out! Who are you, and what did you do with my mother?"
"No, I'm really me, Candace. But I still don't know what these things are, and what they're doing in my backyard."
"Phineas and Ferb made them! Don't you see? Are they busted, or are they busted? Whoo-hoo! So busted!"
Candace continued her victory dance, while, across town, Perry and Doofenshmirtz were still trying to get their routine right.
"No, Perry the Platypus, you punch me in the face after I ask you how you've escaped. You don't kick me, I want to see your fist! Now, from the beginning. Per-"
By this point, Perry was simply using this opportunity to repeatedly beat his nemesis, all the while stalling for time. "Okay, yeah, you punched me this time, that's good; but you still didn't let me finish my sentence! Do you have any idea how frustrating it is when your nemesis doesn't cooperate?"
This time, the blow from Perry's punch knocked Doofenshmirtz into his -Inator, skewing its aim and causing it to fire. "Seriously, it's worse than biting into a chocolate-chip cookie and finding out it's really oatmeal-raisin!"
"Hah, hah, alright, I'm done now. So now you have to say you believe me, right?"
Candace looked to her mother with hopeful eyes, which failed to notice a purple beam of light enveloping her for a second. "Why, no. I actually don't believe you."
The teen stood up straight. "What? What do you mean?"
"I mean, there's no way your brothers actually built any of this. Come on, now, Candace; you can't really think there are giant jump-roping robots in our backyard."
Candace faced the inventions and discovered that they were, in fact, jumping rope. "It always seems to turn out like this with robots," Phineas observed.
His sister gawked. "Well, I mean, I kind of do."
"Oh, silly Candace. Don't you know there are mirages in Danville? It's probably just one of those."
"Mirages? But-but-but - they're really there! Go touch one of them!"
"No, honey, it just isn't possible. I'm going inside."
"But… Argh!"
Isabella paced the floor of an undefined house, weighing her options. "So astrology wants me to end up with Ferb, not Phineas. That's... going to take some getting used to..."
She did a headstand against the back wall to increase the bloodflow to her head, allowing her to better think about the situation. "Well, I mean, it's not like Phineas was going to figure it out anytime soon, anyway. I-I don't need him. He can't even get a hint."
She could be seen trying to distract herself by sitting down and playing with her hands. "This is the synagog, this is the steeple..."
Next, she laid down on the floor and inspected the ceiling. "I mean, Ferb is a nice guy, and we're already really good friends. It's not like he doesn't care about me, or anything... I guess it might be possible..."
Isabella continued, hugging her knees in the corner. "But what about Phineas? I don't want to lose him! What if he freaks out? What if Ferb freaks out?"
She stood in front of the room's mirror with her hair braided down the middle of her back, with her bow fixed at the top of said braid in the style revealed for the teenage Isabella in "Act Your Age." "I think my hair looks nice like this."
This time she laid on the couch. "It would be so weird, and I've always liked triangles more than rectangles... It was always so obvious, that I'd end up with Phineas... I don't know how to look at him only as a friend anymore!"
She stood with her back to the camera and her hands on her hips. "You know what? I've got to get a grip. I'll end up with whoever I end up with, and if astrology says it has to be Ferb, so be it!"
She then turned around to the side, as if facing someone out-of-frame. "Thanks for letting me sort all this out here. I really appreciate it."
Stacy Hirano blinked at the troubled Fireside Girl. "How did you get in my house?"
"Oof! You know what, Perry the Platypus? I'm starting to get the feeling you're only doing this because you want to! That's so not cool."
Taking this as a signal to get on with the fight, Perry made a quick and successful dash to the self-destruct button. Two things could be heard as he jetpacked away from the building: one explosion and one defeated cry of, "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"
Isabella pulled herself together quickly before reopening the gate. "So what happened?" Adyson asked, "Why did you run off like that?"
"I needed some time to think, but now I've made my decision," she declared. "I'm going in.
"Hey, Ferb... Look, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Buford waggled his eyebrows as she took the green-haired lad by the hand to the space behind the tree. "Looks like glove is truly in the air this afternoon."
"Yeah," Phineas agreed, a remote control in his hand. He and Baljeet were staring at a normal-sized baseball glove hovering a few feet above their heads. "I programmed it to float."
"Okay, so today I found out something kind of - interesting about us two..." Isabella began.
She did not expect him to vocally reply. Instead, she took out the astrology book that had been the source of her conflict. "See, the Fireside Girls and I were trying to get our astrology patches today - you know, the study of how the alignment of the stars at one's birth affects their personality - and we couldn't overlook the tenets of zodiac compatibility. And it says in this book, right here, that - well, a Gemini like me, and a Libra like you... How do I say this?"
She leaned in close and whispered the next part. "This book says I'm supposed to be in love with you, not Phineas."
Ferb blinked, then lowered his eyelids. "Are you hitting on me?"
"What? No! I mean, I-"
He closed the book in her hands. "Astrology doesn't apply to me," he explained. "Not fully."
Isabella furrowed her brow. "Really? Because this suits you to a T. See, look-" She opened the book back up and fingered along as she read aloud. "'A Libra likes being in a group and is friendly with all sorts of people. They are the peacemakers, who prevent conflicts... They are good listeners, and are diplomatic and intelligent.' That's all you."
He took the book. "It also says we are lazy, talkative attention-seekers."
"Well, true, it does..."
The book snapped shut in his hands, and he gave it back to her. "So, what you're saying is, not to believe everything I read, and to just go by experience?"
He pointed at her and clicked, this time not in flirtation, but in affirmation. "Oh, thanks, Ferb. You know, I was kind of worried there." She let out a nervous laugh, then realized, "So, wait, that means I can go back to liking Phineas again! Hey, Phineas!"
She enthusiastically ran back around the tree to meet the redheaded Leo. Ferb lowered his eyelids again: his work was done.
Behind him, Perry crept up and chattered a greeting. Ferb scooped him up in his arms and exited stage right.
During the credits...
"No, for the last time, I'm a human being!" A dream-Doofenshmirtz complained to a dream-tree-person. "Here, I've got a whole song about it!"
I'm not a tree, I'm not a tree!
I've got muscles, bones, and veins and arteriiieees!
And though my arms are made of metal,
I would never grow a petal-
'Cause I'm homo sapiens, not a tree!
I'm not going Ferbella I promise!
Now that that's out of the way, some disclaimers. Yes, I was the one who first had the weird tree-person dream, but I don't remember the song involved, so I parodied Tangled's "I've Got a Dream" at my brother's suggestion. (And Buford referenced Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" because... reasons.) And the cover was photocupped. ^^ Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and can we maybe get some reviews up in here?
As always, Carpe Diem!
