Chapter Six: Six Feet Under

The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 30: Revelations

Municiberg, 7:00 PM, Monday, March 18, 1980

[Kari:] I can vaugly remember in the back of my mind, being temporarily kidnapped taken in for questiioning for some reason. dunno why. I guess it was just a dream. Anyway, I felt kinda bad for Vi, for taking her boyfriend. But sometimes these things happen. you can't just covor it up saying love doesn't exist and go on spouting bull about divorce rates, and then expect shit to get better. Anyway, I was with Tony, Babysitting the cute lil Jack-Jack.

i had my feet rested up on a stool and was drinking some coffee while watching the tv. Then my favorate show was interupted by an emergentcy news flash. The dinos from the new jurassic park place had escaped into the city and were now trying to eat peopke. I gulped and ran to find tony.

"Kos omak," Rashida swore under her breath as she continued noting charges down. "When is this mission ever going to end?!"

The Sphinx agent had been keeping track of the Parr and Squall families for several chapters now, along with their allies including another newly freed Super, Howard "Dynaguy" Zuckerman (who was a police officer in this fic and had had zero interest in Super publicity). There hadn't been anything too special — just a few backstories, and of course another ridiculous tickle-fight. How many more of those was this author going to include?

Things just weren't the same without her partner, however. It was hard to admit, but she missed arguing with him all the time — if anything, at least it gave her something to do. Now, she was operating solo for the first time in a very long while.

Rashida picked up two more mini-T. rexes, jurassic park and Jurassic park (What was Agent Cadmar's mini doing here, anyway? She made a mental note return this mini to its owner ASAP), and took refuge in the backyard next to Kari's house. Feeling the earth vibrate beneath her, she peeked over the fence, and ducked back down almost immediately. A Spinosaurus was drinking from Kari's backyard pool.

She risked another glance, just in time to see the Stu rush into said house, before the Spinosaurus promptly smashed the house to bits.

Three more mini-Omnidroids, tony, Jack-Javk, and parrs, rolled up to her as she watched Kari and Tony — apparently they were being passed off as a couple in this fic — flee the wrecked house; the Stu, less lucky for once, had been stomped to a glittery pulp. She clung to the hope that that was the end of him until she remembered that he healed fast, as he himself had said. The Stu muttered something about "the distal portions of large theropod hindlimbs" before trying and failing to sit up straight.

Just then, Sarah arrived, trailing some random text in parentheses behind her. And then the uncanonical house-wrecking Spino attacked the group, going after Jack-Jack like the baby-killing monster it was. A full sized T. rex showed up as well, prompting a quick facepalm from the disguised Sphinx.

As Sarah, the canons and the Stu scrambled for cover, the T. rex did battle with the uncanonical Spino, just like in the third Jurassic Park movie. Only the outcome of this fight was very different. The T. rex was winning — and with far too much ease for comfort.

Diego dropped in to help a moment later (where were the other Ice Age canons, anyway?), and Sarah explained that Vi had gotten hit by Ripper's devolution ray. The Stu began explaining how to restore her to normal, only to get stepped on by the T. rex — who was, of course, revealed to be the fake Vi. The Stu, naturally, continued his explanation without missing a beat. Apparently, Dino!Vi would never be entirely human anymore.

The T. rex quickly took apart the replacement Spino, roared in triumph, and started to devour its fallen opponent. Sarah was forced to explain that the Stu was her brother. Upon being asked to help take the group to the uncanonical J.P. headquarters in Municiberg, Tony offered his sports car, bringing up Mario Kart even though the franchise wouldn't begin for another twelve years.

Everyone's attention shifted to the report on TV, and Rashida knew the next scene was about to start. As she set up a portal, however, she had a feeling that this night was going to be even longer than she had expected.

[Bob:] I looked up at Megamind with a HUGE look of hope in my eye. "so, your saying it could be used on vi aswell?"

[megamind:]"pretty much...buuuut there will by side effects that'll stay with her the rest of her life i'm afraid..." I hung my head sadly.

[Helen:] "But... What are we going to do?" I asked, greatly saddened at this. "Even if we're to restore her human form, our daughter will never be the same."

The agent gritted her teeth as she read the Words. "She won't be the same, all right," she hissed. "That's because she's going to be dead."

She was beginning to wonder about how to kill a Suvian T. rex single-handedly when she heard a scream from somewhere off in the distance. It sounded like… Violet! She raced over to where she guessed the frightened cry had come from.

Rashida knew this Violet was the real one by her still-missing leg and stick-crutch. A small feathered dinosaur with an 'eery' glow was clinging to her shirt, attempting to chew her face off.

"ADAM! HELP!" she cried, attempting to wrench the tiny, vicious-looking bird-creature off of her.

"Hold still!" a familiar voice replied. A boy who looked exactly like the Stu rushed over to her and picked up a wooden board to hit the little feathered raptor with. But then it whirled, screeched at him with hateful, bloodthirsty rage, and leaped at his face, madly flapping its clawed wings. Falchion closed his eyes and swung blindly with a loud yell, wondering whether he'd hear the noise of the plank meeting ripper the mini-Stu or feel the little monster's claws tearing into his skin.

What he heard was a loud BANG, and 'eery' luminescent feathers flew everywhere as he felt glittery pink blood spatter onto his shirt. It was then that the disguised Skarmory realized that they were back in third person. Could this mean that — ?!

"FALCHION!" Rashida shrieked in CAPSLOCK, putting her gun away and charging at him. "I'M GOING TO WRING YOUR FUCKING NECK!"

Falchion turned to face her, a yelp of fright escaping his lips. She was upon him before he could even take a backward step. But instead of beating him to a pulp like he had been expecting, she scooped him up in a crushing hug that knocked the air out of his lungs.

"Rose!… You're… alive?!"

"You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!" she cried, almost sobbing as she spun him around joyously and set him onto the ground again before slapping his face. "I thought you'd been eaten… NEVER frighten me like that again. Never!"

"Like it's my fault that thing nearly killed us both," Falchion muttered, though he was still smiling as he rubbed his cheek.

Rashida shook him hard. "STILL! I seriously thought I was going to finish this mission alone! If you run off for real, I'll have you melted to fucking slag!"

"Well, I'm not going to," the Skarmory replied. "No way. I've seen so much already that I can't not do something about it."

"A wise choice," Rashida replied, half stern, half relieved as she hugged him again. "Now, about that canon you had with you..."

They both turned to Violet, who waved meekly.

"So… I guess you're going to get me to the hospital now?" asked the injured canon.

"Oh, absolutely," said Rashida.

"Are you sure you don't want to join us for the rest of this mission?" Falchion asked tentatively. "Your powers may come in really handy against a prehistoric killer reptile."

"Adam, don't be stupid," Violet responded. "I'll only be a hindrance to you in this state. Even if I could get a force field up at the right time, you'd still have to haul me around. I'll only serve to give those monsters something else to eat."

"She's right," Rashida agreed, handing Falchion the notebook and pen. She set up two portals, one to Medical for her and Violet and one to later in the fic for her partner. "We'll have to skip all the senseless violence to save time. I'm going to get Violet to safety regardless, though. In the meantime, wait for me in the latter half of Chapter 34. We've got some Stus to slaughter."

"Good to know," said Falchion, as he helped the canon Super up and lent her to his partner for transport. "And Vi? I'm sorry. For everything."

"Consider yourself forgiven," Violet smiled, before giving him a quick peck on the cheek, for old times' sake. "Oh, and no more dinosaurs for a while, okay?"

Falchion blushed even harder, but managed to smile back. "It's a deal."

[Adam:] I stood up, dusting myself off, but something didn't feel right. "Easy for you to say," I said, turning and heading back towards the boat. "I don't think there's going to be any truly simple way to reverse the - "

My sentence was cut off by my panicked scream. The feathery red blur leaped off the top deck and all the way down onto right where I was standing. Next moment, my entire torso exploded in pain.

Ripper hadn't died, obviously. He was too good a Big Bad for that. My arms feebly reached up and tried to push his head away as he tore into my innards, avenging my defiance against him.

Falchion landed smack in the midst of the action, and cringed sympathetically as Adam's intestines spilled out onto the ground. After all, he clearly remembered this moment from the Stu's point of view.

Rashida arrived just in time for the fake Vi to start fighting Ripper, and she properly bandaged his wounded arm while the two Suvian dinosaurs squared off. They both knew waiting was only going to give the glowing mutant "Velociraptor" more time to prepare for attacking another fic. As the fight raged on, the writing became worse and worse.

[Vi:] "NO!" I thought. "I've got this!"

"Oh, so YOU want to put a stop to my reign of terror?" Ripper sniggered, this time in perfect English. It scared me a little... okay, okay. It scared me a LOT. "What makes you think you're the one for the job?"

"Because my lineage was what displaced yours," I thought, channeling my inner tyrannosaur princess for the first time. "Our empire was far more balanced, wise, and just than any of you EVER will. We reduced your forces to coyote-sized hunters who could never again tackle large prey and conquer whole continents like you used to!"

"And that is why I want you to stand BY my side, not try to bite my head off!" Ripper screeched. "YOU are the perfect predator, the PERFECT soldier!"

"Perfect? What do you know about perfect? What does ANYONE in this fanfiction know about PERFECT?!"

Dino!Vi then repeated some dialogue from the start of her home movie, word for word. She had apparently been spying on the NSA files somewhere — but then again, Violet herself had been given access to the NSA database if the start of the fic was any indicator. How else could she have said that the information was confidential?

"I hate to say this," Falchion said, "but it seems like Ripper is going to lose. Should we just press charges and let him die as to the fic dictates?"

"Maybe," replied Rashida. "Let's just wait a little longer and see how it goes."

The Sphinx agent reached into her bag, pulled out a small metallic scarab beetle, and began recording a message. Meanwhile, the gang had managed to inject a Miracle Cure into Dino!Vi, who changed back into the imposter version of the Super teen. And then, just when it seemed that things couldn't get any worse, they did.

[Adam:] We all turned as the ground began to shake. Suddenly, coming over the horizon came the biggest stampede I'd ever seen in my life.

EVERY cartoon animal in HISTORY was there - yes, even Blu, the Five-Dino Band from the Land Before Time, and the Mane Cast from My Little Pony.

The moment they hit the crowd, chaos ensued. Ludlow's men screamed and emptied their guns as the animals and birds fell upon them with tooth and claw, and even the dinosaurs backed down. I could see a whole horde of Scrats, including the original Scrat and Scratte, beating up one of the commanders. I could even see the mother Pteranodons, commanded by Petrie and some of his siblings, beating up a few of Ludlow's soldiers and leaving them to the mercy of their hatchlings. Yes, mother and daughter, father and son joined in the fight. And so did we.

Rashida stared in horror at the ensuing carnage, unable to make heads or tails of anything. Clutching her chest in resumed pain, she silently gave Falchion another Alexandrian Death Stare. This fic, its author, and her partner would be dead by the time they were done.

Falchion metaphorically withered at her gaze for a moment, and then nodded. From this point on, he guessed, the fic was beyond any hope of preservation.

Ripper tried to abduct Jack-Jack, but got a comical beatdown from the baby Super before Terrordactyl sent him over the edge of the dock. But he clung to the side of the pier with his claws, still determined as ever to achieve his goal.

"Now's your chance!" Falchion cried. "Press the charges before it's too late!"

Rashida didn't need to be told twice. She released the scarab, which flew towards Ripper in what they assumed were his final moments.

[Sarah:] NO! NONONONONONONONONO! I'm projecting my NO at this! No! Ripper had suvived WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO many times! NOW he WAS going to fucking die. I used my powers to summon two birds.

they grabbed rippers tallons, and pulled them off two by two.

"WIL. YOU. JUST. DIE!"

[Vi:] "SISTER!" Ripper screamed as Blu and Tweety loosed him from the pier wall. "HELP ME RISE TO POWER! JOIN ME, AND WE WILL RETURN TO THIS WORLD TOGETHER!"

[Falchion:] Rose's metallic scarab beetle flew in from the sky and landed on Ripper's remaining finger. Its robotic legs clung to it as though about to pry it free.

"Velociripper," it spoke in distorted but familiar voice, "or Ripper for short. By order of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, you are hereby convicted of being a Gary Stu on account of far too many charges to list. The most significant of these include wanting to exterminate humanity for no sensible reason other than being evil, releasing an army of dinosaurs into a city of innocent people, initiating a hostage situation for no reason other than being evil (again), being a non-human species that speaks fluent English, threatening to kill a PPC agent, and having an 'eery' glow. For these crimes and many more, you will be left to rot in the bellies of your own followers. Goodbye."

As the beetle began slowly prying his clawed finger loose, the luminescent Stu felt the emotion known as "fear" for the first — and last — time. For he knew, in that instant, that his life was finally at an end.

[Not!Vi:] That was when a moldy watermelon rolled up to my feet. Suddenly, I knew what to do. Picking it up, I headed over to the edge, and scowled down at him.

"No thank you," I spat. "I believe I've spent enough time working in the company of death. Besides..."

"...I will NEVER be your sister!"

And with that, I dropped the watermelon. Onto his terrified face.

Splat!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, as he plummeted into the maw of King Krok, whose teeth closed around him as he slipped back into the water and out of sight.

The remote-controlled Scarab Drone, fresh from Rashida's home continuum, flew back and rejoined them. She pocketed it a moment later with a satisfied huff, before shooting rippers the mini-Stu to glittery, feathery flesh confetti.

"One down, three to go," Falchion smiled.

"Soon to be two to go," Rashida added. "You know what, let's skip to the tail end of the final battle. This ridiculous fight scene is going to give me a heart attack before long!"

She dialed the RA to the last half of Chapter 35, and took the disguised Skarmory through. Just a little bit longer, she thought, and this will all be over.

[Vi:] "Oh, so you DO know how to handle things," said Ludlow as he prepared to snap the wire keeping his vest together. "Run away while you still can, Violet. I will disconnect the cable on my nuclear bomb vest, and in ten seconds, Municiberg will be no more!"

"My name is UltraViolet," I snarled, and when I opened my eyes, they glowed a brilliant, bright purple with arcs of energy streaming from them. "And I am THROUGH RUNNING!"

Falchion and Rashida watched the overpowered UltraViolet take on the enemy tanks before taking a blow from Not!Ludlow's vehicle. Then, after some persuasion from Sarah and a poorly timed The Lion King reference, she transformed into her dinosaur form, known in-fic as V-Wrex. The fight looked like it was on the side of the dinosaur, along with some of the other T. rexes who joined her, until the antagonistic replacement tried to shoot her in the face. Then 'Chomper', the father T. rex, heroically (and predictably) took the shot in the eye for her.

Rashida felt the chest pain again, stronger this time. She sank to her knees, clawing at her torso.

"Are you okay?!" her partner cried, reaching to her.

"Don't fucking touch me!" she snarled, taking out her pistol. "This one is mine."

[Adam:] I was panicking, fearing that any second now, the second greatest predator on Earth would be lost forever. And then the flower glowed feebly.

Realizing what I had to do, I took it out of my tuxedo for the last time, and placed it on his wounded eye socket. And then I closed my eyes, and started to sing.

[Adam:] Flower gleam and glow

Let your powers shine

Make the clock reverse

Bring back what once was mine

Falchion felt his teeth chattering, almost like a stork clattering its beak. It was a sign of growing rage, no doubt against the story.

"And now a Tangled shout-out," he groaned. "Looks like this Stu is a stereotypically good singer as well. And that is just about the dumbest deus ex machina I have ever seen!"

Rashida somehow managed not to choke on a hairball as the fake Vi ripped the tank apart, tore the bomb-vest from not!Ludlow and used it to destroy a giant enemy aircraft. "Can we just kill these fuckers already?! I'm sick and tired of all this khara!"

"We can't!" Falchion shrieked. "Not while they're out in the open! Everyone will see us!"

"I don't care anymore. We'll have to neuralyze everyone anyway. It's not like there'll be any damage done!"

There was a BANG as the fake Ludlow shot the fake Vi, and then the Stu used one last flower to save her with a Kiss of Life(™).

"There will," Falchion replied. "If we blow our cover now, there's going to be at least a dozen continua that will know of the PPC in some way or another!"

"Who the Duat cares?!" Rashida roared, aiming her pistol at Not!Ludlow's head. "As long as all the poorly written characters here are dead, it'll be fucking worth it."

"Rose, have you lost your mind?!" Falchion made to wrench the gun away from her as the baby T. rexes from Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs appeared, looking highly furious.

"I SAID DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" she yowled, scratching instinctively at his bandaged arm. He cried out as her nails scraped against the bandaged wound, distracting her for a moment as he sank to his knees from the pain.

[Adam:] The babies moved forward menacingly. Ludlow looked up, and smiled at them. I wondered if he saw Sarah and his other friends instead of three very hungry and extremely angry baby dinosaurs. "Come to me..." he smiles serenely. "Let me join you, my friends... So... Beautiful..."

And then, their faces turned red, their pupils narrowed into thin slits of fury. And then, for the first time in their lives, they roared. It was a rather falsetto, screeching roar, but it sounded terrifying all the same, especially because now we could all see all 150 razor-sharp serrated teeth gleaming in the moonlight.

Ludlow screamed. His face turned pale and his eyes went wide and round as baseballs as he let out a long, loud, high-pitched, piercing scream of complete and absolute terror.

Warning: Do NOT read the next four paragraphs if you want your sanity intact.

Falchion realized what was going to happen, and tried to force Rashida down, but she punched him in the face before he could touch her. He collapsed again, bleeding from his nose, but it was too late to shout a warning. Right then and there, in full view of the entire cast and the unfortunate agents, the baby T. rexes fell upon the terrified Replacement and ripped him to shreds.

Four excruciating paragraphs of horrifyingly graphic detail later, Not!Ludlow's severed head, torn from his body, smashed into some kind of invisible screen, mere inches from Rashida's face. His eyes, wide and unknowing, gazed blindly into her own, and the agents watched his wretched head fall to the ground with a sickening whump.

Momma and Chomper both stuck their heads over the ledge, looking down upon the gruesome scene. And they nuzzled their snouts together as they observed their babies deliver a triple victory roar, complete with the obligatory lightning strikes, before resuming their feast upon Ludlow's streaming, blood-drenched flesh.

It was too much. The awful writing of this badfic, the horror of the character replacements, the final, terrible death of the story… All the stress she had tried to hold back finally broke through, and her mind, her soul, and her bodily functions basically imploded.

Rashida's visage drained of color as she clutched her chest in pain, unable to move or even breathe as a cold sweat broke out all over her body. Her vision began to turn fuzzy around the edges, and her head began feeling light and dizzy, as though a stake that had been hammered into the back of her head had been withdrawn.

Her mouth opened in a silent scream of anguish, and then she slumped to the floor, overwhelmed by the blinding pain… and everything was gone.

[Falchion:] The C-CAD decided to bluescreen an instant later. I realized that the scriptfic format was back and that my partner had practically dropped dead a half-second after that.

"Rose? ROSE!" I cried, shaking her lifeless form with a terrified expression, my heart pounding in my throat.

She didn't respond.

"No… NononononoNO, she can't… She didn't… no… Please, no…"

Tears began streaming down my face as I realized what had happened. Instantly, I grabbed the communications device from my partner's belt, and dialed the number for Medical.

"AGENT DOWN! I REPEAT, AGENT DOWN!" I cried. "I need medical assistance, pronto!"

I snatched the RA from my partner's body and the temporal anchor from her bag, before opening up a portal to Medical. A young man with shoulder-length, curly brown hair, wearing a white doctor's coat, was the first to step through to our side.

"Is she okay?" he asked, looking down at her with an expression of worry.

There was a long, terrible moment of silence. "...No," I said finally.

The doctor, along with several nurses, loaded Rose's body onto a medical stretcher, and hauled it into the Medical Ward. There was the slightly comical image of her unconscious figure turning into a very large cat with wings and a human head, making the stretcher twice as heavy, but I paid it little consequence.

I waited for several painful minutes, anticipating the worst. Then the doctor came up to the portal, without coming over to my side.

"She's still alive," he said, "but just barely. Cardiac arrest, reversible through shock defibrillation. I'm glad you contacted us in time. Just curious, though — how did you get our address?"

"I saw her open up a portal to Medical a while ago," I explained. "It was easy enough to figure out the address. Thank you, Doc… er, what's your name?"

"Dr. Alexander Appleday," he replied. "And you?"

"Falchion. Floater, Armor Bird Pokémon…" I choked up for a moment, but then steeled myself for what was to come. "...and soon-to-be Gary Stu killer."

"Good luck," said Dr. Appleday. "If things are that bad where you're at… you'll need it."

"Thanks, Doc," I said, looking into my Bag of Holding for a moment before turning my head towards the gruesome scene behind me, a murderous expression on my face as I set the temporal anchor. "You don't have to worry about me, though. I have a plan."

[Adam:] That was when a shadow loomed over me and Vi. Chomper was looking down at us, his face now serene and peaceful.

"Hey," he said in Saurian to the two of us. "Thank you, for everything."

"Not my problem," I said as I gave him a fist-bump. "Just part of my regular routine."

[Vi:] Although this was a grimdark ending, we all knew one thing. The Golden Age of Supers was back, and this time, it was here to stay.

The Incredibles: Rise of the Galeforces - Chapter 35: Ludlow's Last Stand

...There! :phew:

Now all I need to post is the epilogue and this fanfic (or rather what's left of it) is DONE! :iconfluttershyyayplz:

Note: There's a reason I restricted this chapter to 18 and up. That reason being that it contains what may be the goriest and most horrifying death I have ever written in a fanfic. Of course, seeing how Ludlow pretty much screwed the entire cast over at this point, well, I did what I had to. :shrug:

All characters (c) their respective owners.

[Falchion:] And then… silence. The chapter ended, but there was no transition, no hastily-written epilogue. The temporal anchor was doing its job well.

Without any continuation of the narrative to go on, the characters went about as though this were any other night, albeit a night filled with horrors beyond their wildest imagination. The T. rex family moved off to do their own things, while Adam and the fake Vi shared another Moment. Then the Stu decided to take a little stroll, his intentions unclear without any narrative to explain them.

I hid at the mouth of a dark alley, shadows concealing my figure as the Stu came into sight. The air rifle I'd taken from Rosie's corpse was loaded and ready, but now there was a slight… oversight on my part. It was only when the Stu came into sight that I began to realize that he wasn't exactly… clear in my vision. From a distance, he seemed rather blurry.

Apparently, I'd all but forgotten that I was nearsighted in this disguise. I decided to change tactics a bit after realizing that.

Picking up a small pebble lying around, I chucked it at the Stu, who was milling about aimlessly at first, but quickly noticed when it glanced off his temple. His glasses focused on me, and with a gasp, he realized that an exact doppelganger of him was staring in his direction. I flexed my finger in a beckoning gesture.

Curious, the Stu drew closer. Just a few more steps, and he'd be within range of clear vision. Just a little closer…

And then he stopped. "Who are you?" he asked.

"The author," I replied. It was now or never. I pointed the tranquilizer gun in his direction, not caring whether I hit the jugular, the shoulder, or some other area, and fired.

[Falchion:] An indeterminate length of time later, the Stu sleepily opened one eye and then the other. He sat up, pulling the empty dart from his chest, and noticed that his clothes were gone. He was now dressed in nothing but a pair of briefs, somehow clean of grime.

He got up shakily, looking around. He was in some kind of train yard… but where?

A random train passed behind him, and he whirled around. Before long, it had passed by completely — and there I was, as though I had appeared out of no-where (though I'd actually dropped my SEP field while the train passed). I was wearing the Stu's suit, and holding a familiar device — a mutation ray, dropped by Megamind earlier in the fic.

"W-wha?" the Stu asked, looking worried. "Where am I? W-who — "

"The railroad yard where a certain Mr. Bob Parr exercised in after his first assignment on Nomanisan," I explained, my eyes narrowed into dark, predatory slits behind my glasses. His glasses. "I figured that since everyone was distracted by the carnage that transpired tonight, this would be the perfect place to deal with the real threat."

"The real threat?" he asked, looking wildly around. "B-but… I thought we got rid of all the…"

"Not quite. Now, I have a question for you. Is your family truly safe with you 'protecting' them?" Hopefully he wouldn't perceive the implied air quotes.

His breathing quickened as he tried to look into my sky-blue eyes, but found it difficult.

"I… yes, I would say so," he said finally.

"You're lying," I hissed. "Don't even try to deny it. I know everything. I've seen it with my own eyes. But more than that… I've felt it. I've felt it with my own heart, mind, body, and soles — er, soul. Sorry."

The Stu looked down at his bare feet, and then tried to make eye contact with me again, with slightly more success. "What do you mean? Are you trying to imply that you are me? Is that why you look like me?"

I smiled dangerously. "Clever boy. Technically, you're right. I am you. I am you two years from now, give or take a few months. It may seem like a short while, but it's plenty of time to look back at the terrible things my author — our author — once did."

"Our author?" he asked in confusion, but I continued as though I hadn't heard him.

"As a matter of fact, I have looked back," I said. "And what I saw was a total mess. A gruesome monument to my author's once inflated self-worth, a twisted nightmare that made complete and utter mockery of all the characters and stories involved."

"What do you mean?" he asked. I noticed his fingertips growing vicious claws, and I realized that my time was running out. "Are you trying to accuse me of being a parasitic hack who can't take a hint?!"

"I'm not accusing you of anything," I replied, arming the mutation ray with a dangerous glare. "But that bit about you being a parasitic hack? That's the truth. Every single word of it. Because you, Adam, are the real threat."

That did it. Adam launched himself at me with a feral scream, attempting to transform in the process, but I fired my mutation ray at the same time. It all seemed to happen in slow-motion. The energy bolt lanced his heart, and features grew haphazardly as he arced through the air towards me. I attempted to dodge, but the terrible Stu-beast slashed at my arm, tearing a deep, bleeding gash. His claws didn't quite make it out; in fact, they hooked into my flesh and dragged both of us down.

Heedless of the pain, I tore him loose, threw him to the ground, sprang to my feet… and more or less completely lost my shit.

As Adam turned to spring at me again, unable to fly but still armed to the teeth, I leaped forward and lashed out with a much stronger kick than my long skinny legs would have suggested. Spike-like teeth sprayed everywhere as I fell upon him, kicking and stomping and screeching and swearing with a long-suppressed fury. If I'd known it existed then, I would have compared my attack style to a World One bird, the cassowary.

"Adam Terrence Squall, a.k.a. Terrordactyl: By order of the PROTECTORS OF THE FUCKING PLOT CONTINUUM, you are hereby fucking convicted of being a fucking Gary Stu on account of THE FOLLOWING FUCKING CHARGES: Writing your entire Arceus-damned fic in a completely fucking confusing format, combining at least eleven fucking continua in a truly fucking nonsensical manner, i.e., your Speshul alternate form (including a shit-ton of anachronisms and the most terribly written crossover crack-ship I've ever fucking seen), being an unspeakably shitty author insert, making Aperture Science experiment with genetic engineering when its specialty is fucking portal technology, making everybody act completely fucking OOC, sticking too many tickle fetish scenes where they weren't needed, assigning stupid names to character attacks, falling in Twu Wuv with a canon and causing her to do the same, having a fucking Speshul alternate form at all, directly referencing TV Tropes where it was neither funny nor fucking appropriate, forcing the protagonists on an extremely dangerous and UTTERLY FUCKING POINTLESS story arc, creating too many fucking minis to count, fucking plagiarising both Jurassic Park sequels and totally fucking up their timelines while doing so — Those movies took place four fucking years apart from each other, for crying out loud! — COMPLETELY FUCKING REPLACING the characters of Violet Parr and Peter Ludlow, destroying the fourth wall in a poorly scripted manner, spending the last six chapters FUCKING GLORIFYING senseless violence, using a fucking stupid Deus Ex Machina to bail people out, endangering PPC agents, fucking incapacitating PPC agents, enraging PPC agents beyond reasonable fucking capacity, and MOST OF ALL, BEING A COMPLETE FUCKING DISGRACE TO HIS OWN FUCKING AUTHOR, YOU SICK FUCKING FUCKETY FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!"

My eyes flooded with tears of blind rage that poured down my face as I finished practically screaming out the charge list, my shoes caked with glitter and my heart flooded with shame. I had never spoken in boldface or CAPSLOCK before, let alone both at the same time, but I was far too infuriated to care.

I stepped off my duplicate's mangled body and turned to inspect my handiwork. The beating I had given him had smashed all of his ribs, puncturing a lung in the process, ruptured his spleen, snapped all of his limbs like matchwood, and broken off a fragment of his skull that pierced his brain, among many other injuries. But even if I had shut down his metamorphosis, he could still heal. He could still live.

"For all of these crimes, and many, many more," I half-sobbed, half-hissed, "your punishment is a swift and painful death. And I know just the way to give it to you."

He raised his broken head to look up at me, one eye swollen and useless. "H… H-how?" he choked, glittery blood dripping from his mouth.

With an ominous grin that promised certain doom, I took out my Neuralyzer with one hand, and unfolded my hitherto unused switchblade with the other. "I will ensure that you and your girlfriend remain together, permanently. After all… it's what we both want, isn't it?"

[Sarah:] It as over. It was al over. The horible nightmare, and all of my memrories of it… were gone.

However, I had other questions about wha had happened, not tonight but throuout the prvious week. Hd I seen two Adams, or two Violets? And why had we gone all the way to that horrible island in the first place, ifit had all been for absolurtely nothing?

I found my brother sitting on a lone chair on one of the docks of the wreked harbor. From the red on his face, he had been crying. For some reason, his shoes wer all blloody, like he'd waded thru a corpse or somthing.

"Adam?" I asked patting hi shoulder. "Are you ok?"

[Falchion:] "Hey Sarah," I said, turning my head weakly to see her. I had been thinking about how close to death my partner had come, and how it had all been my fault in a sense. Now, though, I knew what to do. But first, I needed a little Helping Hand.

[Sarah;] "Hey. Why so sad, bro/ It's over. The nightmare is ogne."

[Falchion:] "Ogne?"

[Sarah:] "Gone, I said. gone!"

[Falchion:] I laughed weakly, and then sighed a little. "Sarah, I hate to break this to you, but… I have a feeling we might not be out of the woods just yet."

[Sarah:] "Wait. Does this meanw e have to fight another bd guy?"

[Falchion:] "In a way, yes."

[Sarah:] "But I thought we got rid of all the bad gys here. Were safe now."

[Falchion:] "I take it you mean we were safe. But we won't be for long. Not if Vi has anything to say about it."

[Sarah:] "V-Vi? but she saved us! She's our frend! you arent gonna fight her… aren;t you?"

then I paused. "Wait. Are you trying to tell me there is somthing rong with her?"

[Falchion:] "Yeah, well, about that… She, well… She…"

[Sarah:] As I continued listning, Adam's face turnde downcast, as he stopped speaking Englih and proceeded to let out a seres of trilling, clicking, an chirpng noises capped of by a hiss like an angyr goose. for a moment I was confsued about how he was able to speak bird all ofa sudden, but then his speech begn to sink in, and my eyes sudenly widened in stark horror.

"she's WHAT?!"