Chapter Seven
"I can't believe that you actually stayed here when you had the chance to leave", Chloe laughed as they made their way through the halls of the manor. "I mean, don't get me wrong it's a nice place you have here but I thought that you hated Smallville".
Lex shrugged. "I had to stay at first to make sure that Clark was alright but then I moved full time to Metropolis before deciding that that wouldn't work and that I would be better off dividing my time between the two locations. I thought that it would be easier to live in the city where nothing would remind me of you, but it didn't work".
"Was he?"
He stopped walking and looked at her in some confusion. "Was who what?"
"Was Clark alright, after my death I mean", Chloe voiced the question she had never dared speak out loud before. She didn't want people to be sad over her death, she had wanted Clark and Lana to get on with their lives but she did wonder whether she had left any sort of indentation on their lives at all. She could not help but remember how quickly Pete had been forgotten when he had left and how lots of people died in Smallville and no one ever mentioned them again.
"No", Lex answered her honestly. "How could he be?" He watched her expression intently and couldn't help but smile, "It is alright to be happy that you were missed, even if you are sad that you caused them pain".
"I know, it just seems so selfish", Chloe said with a shake of her head.
"It isn't, everyone wants to know that they made a difference and you certainly did, you only have to have seen you funeral to know that". Seeing her looking at him questioning Lex, continued, "It was huge".
He hated to think about that day, the day when they had said goodbye to her but she needed to know how much she had been valued.
"Every business in the town shut down and everyone turned up. Every single inhabitant of this damned small town knew who you were, they said that you were always after the story and spoke about your smile and your lively enthusiasm. So many of them said that just seeing you and reading your articles had inspired them and made them feel like they knew you", he rubbed his hand over his head. "It was really rather touching, but it was worse for the people who actually knew you".
"You don't have to go on if you don't want to, I know that it must have been difficult for you to pretend in front of that many people", Chloe considered her actions for a moment before reaching out and placing a hand on his arm.
"No, it's okay. You need to hear this. No, it wasn't easy. All that morning I sat in the Church as people filed in and out, watching them grieve and knowing that I was responsible. You weren't dead but you might as well have been for all you got to do. I just kept seeing that image of you as you got into the helicopter, so brave but so forlorn. I thought of you sitting by yourself on some army base somewhere scared and alone and thought: 'this is all my fault. Chloe should be here, with these people being loved not mourned and the only reason why she is not is because I asked her to put herself between the FBI and my father'", Lex looked down in shame. "I am so sorry; I should never have done that to you. I should have dealt with him, that day as I sat there I actually worked out how long it would take me to get to my father, how long it would take to kill him and get you out of there … and yet I did nothing".
"Lex", Chloe voice was sharp as she placed her hand underneath his chin and forced him to look up at her, ignoring the soft warmth of his skin beneath her fingers.
"We have been over this", she reminded him. "You know that none of this was your fault, it was all mine. If I had not been selfish, stupid … if I had not spied on Clark then none of this would ever have happened. And I would never have wanted you to commit murder for me. I couldn't stand it if you had that on your conscience".
He stared at her, trying to work out how someone could possibly be so sweet after everything she had been through.
"You are amazing", he told her as he cupped her face. She was so caught up in him that she did not flinch this time.
"No, I'm not. Tell me what happened".
Trying to recall himself to the task at hand, Lex went through the day for her, describing what had happened, who had come and what they had said until he got to the Kents. "Clark just sat there, repeating over and over again that it was his fault with his mother trying to comfort him and Pete on the other side saying that he couldn't have known although I am not sure what he couldn't have known about".
Chloe nodded, "I didn't know that Pete had attended".
"Not only did he attend he gave a stirring speech about what the Luthors had done to you", Lex told her ruefully, "at least he was right for once".
She shook her head, "He shouldn't have done that. It had nothing to do with you".
"Other members of your family don't share that opinion. Your cousin Lois was there and made it quite clear that she blamed me and was going to get to the bottom of it", Lex explained. "That almost got her into trouble a few times, but her investigations turned up nothing new. In the end she turned her snooping skills onto Clark".
"Did you do the same?" Chloe asked, clearly worried and looking guilty as she thought of her cousin who she still had not called, she didn't know how to yet.
"No, I did as you asked in the note you left me. I stopped investigating Clark", Lex assured her. "Can I ask you why you …"
With a nod she replied, "Interfering in other people's lives was what got me in trouble in the first place and I could see that it was going to lead you down the same path. I wanted you to have the benefit of Clark's friendship and I thought that my asking you if I ended up dead might be the only way to stop you from throwing everything away".
It was his turn to nod, acknowledging that how well she knew him and his obsessive tendencies. "Chloe I promise that even if the answer is yes I won't ask any questions and I won't do any research but … did you ever find out the truth?"
"Yes", she answered instinctively trusting him. "A few days before the trial it all just fitted together, I couldn't believe that I hadn't seen it before and I felt so guilty".
"I'm sorry".
She gave him a sad smile, "You see now you are believing your own press, you might be a Luthor but you are not responsible for everything bad that happens in the world. You are certainly not responsible for my stupid actions".
"We make a good pair don't we", he smiled tenderly back as he put his hands on her shoulders, "both only realising what the right thing to do was once it was already too late".
Chloe looked up at him, they were only inches apart now. "What was the right thing to do?"
Lex swallowed, he had not been expecting that question. For years he had sworn that if he ever got the chance to speak to her face to face again that he was not going to let his pride get in the way but now it was overwhelming, as was his fear that he might scare her off.
"I should have been a better friend to you", he hedged. "From the first day that I met you I knew that you were special and for that reason I avoided you; afraid that somehow my Luthor ways would hurt you or that I would fall for you when you were still a teenager. I shouldn't have let anything come between us, I should have spoken to you about every topic I could think of, should have seen you every day".
Her eyes widened as she replayed that speech over in her mind wondering if she had somehow misheard him. She could not have just heard what she thought that she had heard. There was no way that Lex Luthor could have been interested in her. She should demure and step back but she found herself asking, "And what about now?"
"You aren't a teenager anymore and I intend to see you every day and speak to you every day", his voice was thick with emotion and he was within an ace of pulling her into his arms and kissing her senseless.
"I'm not the same girl I was when I left", Chloe protested a little, breathlessly.
"You are still Chloe".
Lex paced the hallway outside Chloe's bedroom. This was truly pathetic. He wasn't some love stuck kid teenager, he was Lex Luthor for crying out loud. It wasn't even as if he had got a kiss from her, just a smile. That wonderful, sweet, goofy smile that warmed him in the depths of his soul.
He should go back to his room but he could not help but be drawn to her. He wanted to know whether she was fast asleep or if maybe she was awake too and thinking about him. He couldn't see any traces of light so he assumed that she must be asleep (although he thought that she slept with the light on) and was about to turn back around and head back to his room, considering that it was quite late after two movies - so it wasn't that strange that she was asleep - when he heard a muffled noise.
Straining to hear, he thought that he could hear her whimper.
"Chloe", he called out as he knocked on her door gently, "Are you alright?"
There was another sound, this time it sounded as if she wanted to scream but was smothered.
In an instant Lex had pulled the master key from his pocket and Chloe's door was swinging open.
One year into Chloe Sullivan's incarceration she was moved and she had never been happier. She knew of the political reasons for their move but was still thrilled to be moving to England along with her uncle, Davis, Dru and Victor. She was getting used to her daily routine but still longed to have a change of air and what was more she knew that her father had been sent to England.
It didn't bother her that it had been pouring down the rain as they landed in the dead of night on a secret flight from the states, it didn't bother her that it was constantly grey and overcast, all that mattered to her was that she was soon going to see her father, of that she was sure.
She had been correct. Chloe was given two days to settle in, to sleep off her jet lag and to get into her routine of training and learning before one morning after breakfast she went to meet her language tutor only to find Gabe Sullivan sitting there instead.
Everything that she had learned in their time apart about being self-sufficient disappeared and she threw herself into his arms screaming, "Daddy". Their reunion was a tearful, hug filled one and took most of the day. Chloe had never been so delighted in her life, nor quite so heartbroken when her Uncle came in to tell her that it was time for her Dad to go.
Chloe had tried to be strong, she really had as Victor and Dru shot her sympathetic looks. She had to be strong for her father, but as he left so had her strength. She had slumped to the floor and sobbed. She had thought that they would be together again for good. She had not realised that it would only be for a few hours.
Just as she had been getting herself together her uncle had popped her head around the door and told her that he too was going, along with Victor and Dru, as there had been an emergency abroad and that Davis would look after her from that point on.
By that point Chloe had not cried, after several hours of constant heart wrenching sobs over her father having been taken from her again, nothing could faze her.
"Fine, go", was all that she had said. The three men had left her and Davis had come in to see her.
"It gets easier, or so I hear. Being away from your family", he told her.
Chloe hadn't responded to that, but Davis had been right. She had never cried again when someone had left her, at least not while awake. She just got back up to her feet and got on with life. She never talked about her life with anyone except for on her father's rare visits; she just trained and learned now even more isolated. The only person in her life – other than her father over the phone – was Davis. It was strange that she could rely so completely on someone she knew absolutely nothing about. It was easier to know nothing about him in some ways, if he weren't a human then he could not be doubted.
He was her rock, he never really showed emotion but he was always there. He taught her how to fight even better, how to shoot a gun and how to sneak around even better than she had been able to before. He taught her to distance herself from people. She no longer touched people ever except for sparing; she did not even shake their hands. It was easier to pretend that people didn't really exist when there was no contact and if they didn't exist then it wouldn't hurt when they left.
It didn't hurt when they moved to Ireland, by this point she was too strong to care where she was. Ireland wasn't that different from England for Chloe, the only difference was that when they got there Davis started disappearing for days at a time leaving her only with her language tutor and to go back to eating in her room. It was only when she decided to go into the canteen even if it was by herself that she started to meet someone knew. But he would leave her too, only in a more permanent manner.
As Lex made his way into Chloe's room he pushed the door to and heard it locking automatically, at least this way he could be sure that that would not be interrupted. He was relieved to note that she was not being attacked, nor did she appear to be having a fit but the look of agony on her lovely features chilled him to the core.
He knew that she would hate for him to see her like this, but he couldn't leave her.
"Chloe", he called out to her gently as he approached her bed.
Her bedside lamp was still on, as he had suspected that it would be. The light from it had peeked out from beneath her room in the barracks he knew, but this one was too large for the light to reach that far.
The covers had been pushed down to her waist and her taunt stomach was reveal as her white cotton top had ridden up as she thrashed around. Her breasts heaved as she fought for breath over the sobs which seemed to choke her.
"Chloe", he repeated her name as he drew nearer, not sure what to do. He was not aware that anyone had ever noticed these symptoms in her before, but the guards on her door had been taken off several years ago and there was no reason he supposed that people should know if she went through this every night. He paled at the thought.
Her hands were flying around her body writhed, he was getting really worried that she might hurt herself.
Seeing that she had not responded when he had said her name he made his decision, he would have to restrain her. He grabbed her wrists hoping that this would snap her out of it rather than waking her and making her worse, but it did neither. Chloe continued to claw, just less efficiently. Afraid lest he damage her wrists as she flailed about; Lex tried to lay his body on top of hers to stop her but this just made her worse, now seeming scared.
Starting to panic Lex let go of her wrists, grabbed her around the waist and lay back pulling her on top of him. As soon as her body realised that he was no longer on top of her she calmed slightly. He held her close, stilling her movements.
She started to make the noises he had heard through the door again, only this time he could make out that they were words.
"Dun liv me", she begged, to someone in her dream. "Dun liv me".
"Shh", he stroked her hair. "It's okay I'm here, I'm not going to leave you Chloe. I'm here". Still asleep and clearly gripped by a nightmare she buried her face into his chest, her hands holding onto him painfully.
"I'm zory. Dun liv me", she whimpered through her tears.
"It's alright I'm not going to leave you. I'm never going to leave you", he reassured her, tightening his grip around her and putting up with the pain her nails digging into him was causing.
"What happened to you Chloe?" He wondered as he continued whisper soothing words to her and was relieved to see that she seemed to be calming down.
"I don't know how much of this you can hear or how much you will remember Chloe but I swear that I am not going to leave you, I am not going to let you go again. You are mine, all mine".
