"What sticks to memory, often, are those odd little fragments that have no beginning and no end..."
― Tim O'Brien, The Things They Carried
The sun peeked through the shutters and danced across Fionna's face. The girl snuggled her head into her pillow, enjoying the warmth of the blankets around her. The alarm clock beside her bed rang and the teen let out an agitated huff, reaching her hand out and turning it off.
Fionna sighed, letting sleep escape her. She sat up and rubbed at her face. Her room was warm from the morning sun and beads of light splattered over her walls.
The blonde slid her legs out of the sheets, knocking over her clean and folded work clothes. She reached over to pick up the cloth and froze, staring at the blue cloth that wrapped her hand.
Hopping out of bed, Fionna took in her room, turning around slowly. Red caught her eye and the blonde gazed down at the oversized t-shirt she wore, the top bearing the proud red vector of a panther's face that partially hid her pale legs. Fionna's feet had been cleaned of the splinter and pain had been replaced with a soothing numbness. The ache in her head was gone and Fionna let her fingers gently graze the now sewed up wound.
The smell of bacon tickled the girl's nose and she pulled on a pair of pants laying on the ground. Walking through the apartment, Fionna took in her surroundings with silent confusion.
Cake sat at the kitchen table reading New York Times. Lorn cooked away at the strips of meat and her sister glanced up from the paper. Upon seeing the blonde, the woman set the paper down and smiled.
"Hey, sugar lumps. Everything okay?"
Fionna took a seat and numbly looked at the two. "Yeah...everything's fine."
Lorn placed the plate of bacon on the table and Fionna jumped. Cake laughed and snatched a strip and took a bite. "Rough night? Was work okay?"
"Yeah...work was fine. Just fine." Fionna watched Lorn sit down and she suddenly her head spun. She wanted to reach out and grasp them by the shoulders and scream at them the questions that were building up in her head. How'd she get home? How did they not realize her absence? Were they worried? Did they not see the guy? Who was he? How'd he know where she lived? Did all of that seriously happen?
Cake gave her a worried look and leaned over, placing her hand on the blonde's forehead. "You okay baby? You seem...off. I think you should stay home from school today and just rest."
Fionna wanted to object, but a long nap suddenly sounded like just the thing she needed. Fionna nodded and swallowed. "Yeah...I guess I'm just tired. Sorry, Cake."
The young woman nodded, pulling her hand back. "It's alright, sweet cheeks. Just worried is all. Didn't see you at the club almost all night. Came upstairs and found you sleeping like a baby. Maybe you're just catching a cold. Weather's getting chilly. We should find you something to bundle up with." Cake scanned her younger sister and frowned. "I don't remember getting that shirt. Have you had it long?"
Cake reached to touch the sleeve of the tee and Fionna jerked out of the way. The tanned woman gave Fionna a look and the blonde avoided eye contact, sweat collecting on her brow.
"Yeah I must have. Found it last night laying around so I just thought..yeah." Fionna's words were spat out in a rushed mumble and she mentally slapped herself. She peeked at her older sister and was surprised to find her satisfied with the blonde's answer.
Fionna swallowed, feeling dizzy. "I'm going to go lay back down."
"Don't you want something to eat first?" Cake looked at the girl, startled.
The blonde glanced at the food. Her stomach growled but her appetite ceased to exist. "Maybe later. I'm not really hungry at the moment."
Cake nodded. "Well, call us if you get hungry at all. Lorn and I are running out to get some food but we'll be back lil bit later. We might be taking our nap, then. But feel free to cook up anything, okay?" Fionna nodded and gave the tanned woman a smile, holding up her thumbs.
The walk back to Fionna's room felt long. Once she reached her bed, she plopped down and fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
A loud commotion reached Fionna's open window, causing the girl to jolt awake. She checked her alarm clock and glared the numbers down. She had only been asleep for an hour.
Groaning, Fionna rolled out of bed and moved to shut the window but stopped upon recognizing Cake's shrill voice.
Running down the stairs and to the outside of the building, Fionna was met by the man with slicked back platinum blonde hair and white suit. More men had joined him and Lorn was holding down Cake by the shoulders, a look Fionna had never seen before etched onto her sister's face.
"What do you mean 'the tax was raised?' You said we owed you a hundred dollars! And here's your hundred dollars! Now scram!" A crowd had formed and Fionna kept close to the wall of the club.
The man lit a cigar, smiling. "Oh, I know, toots. I know. But the boss ain't satisfied with just that." If Cake could have, Fionna knew she would have punched him on the spot. Her face was bright red and her nostrils flared.
Cake clenched her teeth, trying her hardest to be polite. "Then how much do we owe now?" Fionna glanced at the armed men and the gathering crowd.
The man mockingly counted on his fingers, acting as though he were doing the math in his head. Finally, he came to a conclusion and smirked at Cake. "Seven hundred dollars."
Cake screeched, causing Fionna to jump. "Seven hundred dol-are you joking? That's insane! You're insane!" The man laughed and blew smoke in her face. Lorn wrapped his arms around the female's waist to keep her still.
"Seven hundred dollars or the place is mine." The man checked his nails, smirking into the piece of cancer that dangled from his lips. Cake looked as though she were about to pop. Fionna snuck past the crowd and slid her hand into her older sister's.
Cake looked at Fionna startled, the red leaving her face. She bit the inside of her cheek and brought her attention back to the Gambino accomplice.
"When do you need the money by?"
"Now would be nice." Cake choked and looked as though she were about to scream again. Fionna squeezed her hand. Cake inhaled and forced a smile. "But we don't have seven hundred dollars on us at the moment. Could you give us until tomorrow?"
The man drew his cigar and blew smoke into the air, thinking. He slyly looked down at the family with a stuck up sneer.
"I wish I could," his tone was sweet. Too sweet. Fionna wanted to throw up. "But the deal was today. And you know how the boss gets."
Cake's grip tightened in Fionna's hand and she winced. "Please, if you could just give us-"
"No can do, miss. You have by tomorrow to get out."
Cake gaped at the mobster. Lorn gripped her shoulders, a confused look on his face.
"Or else what?" Cake placed her hands on her hips, lightly trembling.
The man grinned. A look filled his eye and Fionna realized with horror he was waiting for one of them to ask. He stuck out his arm and grasped Fionna, tugging her to him. "Or else the girl is ours." He pulled the piece of cloth on her wrist down to expose the burn. Cake gasped, grasping Lorn's arm. The Latino stared at the mark in horror and Fionna wanted to cry. But she knew that's what the man expected. And she wasn't going to let him get his satisfaction.
Pushing her back, Fionna hugged Cake's waist and bit her lower lip, screwing her eyes shut. The man gave the family a satisfied nod, turned, and disappeared into the crowd followed by two other mobsters.
Some men in suits stayed behind to guard the club's front. The crowd shifted and went on their way. Cake, Fionna and Lorn stood in their spot, staring down the place where the mobster had been moments before. Cake sobbed and ran inside. Lorn chased after her, leaving the blonde to think.
Glancing at the mobsters and their machine guns, the blonde blinked back tears and escaped inside of the place she had called home for so long.
Cake's sobbing filled the apartment as she scattered from one room to the next, taking out boxes and packing what she could into them. Lorn stood at the doorway with a look of uncertainty on his face. Times like these Fionna felt sorry for the man. Did he wish he could hear the cries of his love? Did he feel lucky he couldn't? Did he wish he could give her verbal words of comfort?
The blonde grabbed her sister's arm. "Let go of me, Fionna. We need to pack. We need to find a place to stay until we-"
"Cake, calm down. We'll figure something out. We did once, we will again."
Fionna smiled and Cake couldn't help but sigh, her shoulders drooping. "You're right, honey. I'm just so scared." Fionna squeezed her shoulder. "I know, Cake. I know. We all are."
The tanned woman sucked in air and examined the room. "We might have to sell some stuff. I'll call up a friend of mine and see if we can possibly stay with her. Why don't you find a box and figure out what you want to keep and what should be sold, okay baby doll?"
Fionna nodded. "Yeah. Sure thing, Cake." She turned to head for her room, paused, and turned around. She looked at Lorn and Cake who held her gaze with the saddest expressions she'd ever seen on their faces. "I love you, guys." Lorn smiled and Cake held his hand. "We love you too, baby."
The blonde nodded and entered her room. The happy feeling she used to get every time she entered the small space vanished in her heart. The pictures on the walls looked lonely and foreign, the bed a nest meant for someone besides her and all of her most sacred possessions seemed worthless. How could she go to sleep without the beat of the club? What would Cake and Lorn do?
Fionna sat on her bed and thought. She felt so...helpless. She didn't like the feeling. It wasn't exactly new, but this type of helplessness seemed foreign to her.
The teen fished through the small closet, took out some boxes and began to pack. Glancing at the pieces of papers that stuck to the wall, the blonde decided to leave them. Whatever they did to the building, it would have the pieces of paper to remember who was there before its downfall.
After folding her clothing into the boxes along with the sheets from her bed, the blonde curled up on the bare mattress. The natural light dimmed and the blaze from the city took its place. City life buzzed and the sound of a small riot echoed deep in the heart of the skyscrapers.
Fionna eyed her alarm clock and jumped. The Fire Kingdom would open in less than an hour and the blonde felt her heart jump in her chest.
She snatched her outfit, scrambling to take the oversized t-shirt off and tugged on her tank top and shorts. Fionna felt for her heels and swore, remembering the alley they had fallen into the night prior.
Sliding her feet into her combat boots, Fionna raced from her room. She slowed down and saw the now empty kitchen and kept down a sob, holding back her tears. The club below was silent and Fionna didn't have to look when she slipped through the lower floor and past the exterior to know that the mobsters were still there, keeping customers at bay.
The subway ride was achingly slow, packed with bodies on their way home from a long day of work. Her stop came and Fionna found herself walking down a one way street and into the employee door of the Fire Kingdom.
The warmth of the building hugged her body and Fionna let out a sigh. She pressed her finger to the scanner on the wall and a green light lit up where her name was.
Walking into the employee lounge, Fionna opened her locker and her mood went deeper south. Taking out her shirt, she ran her fingers over the fabric of the ripped cloth and eyed the piece on her hand.
She folded the article of clothing and placed it back into her locker. Searching the rest of the space, Fionna was horrified to find her name tag missing. Scanning her memories, she knew she didn't see it on her clothes back at home. The red tag did not stick out in her mind's view of her room and she slammed the door in frustration, remembering the small square dangling in the man from the subway's fingers.
Fionna spun around and marched toward the door to the heart of the restaurant. Simone Petrikov, a middle aged woman with long, dyed white hair tied loosely at the end with a grey ribbon and icy blue eyes, walked through the door and knocked into Fionna, forcing the blonde to topple over.
"Watch where you're going, Fionna."
"Sorry, Simone." The teen stood up, brushing off her shorts. Simone pushed by her, strutting to her locker and glanced back at the blonde. "You okay?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Are you really going out in those shoes?"
Fionna gave her a questioning look and peered down at her combat boots. "Oh. Yeah. Forgot bout those."
Simone cackled and fished through her locker. "Lose your heels?"
"Yeah...last night."
"That's a shame.
"Tell me about it."
Fionna rubbed at her neck. "Lost my name tag too."
"Fabian won't be too happy bout that. Might fire you."
"Tell me something I don't know."
Fionna bit the inside of her cheek and tears welled up in her eyes. She suddenly hated the man that stole her from the Fire Kingdom the night before. He stole the two things from her that could jeopardize her job. Doesn't he realize what he's doing to her?
Simone glanced back at Fionna and sighed. "What shoe size are you."
"What?"
"Just answer the question, Fionna."
"Six. In women's."
Simone dug through her locker and took out a pair of heels. She tossed them behind her to Fionna, not bothering to look. "They're a size seven, but it's better than those."
Fionna caught the shoes and ran her finger over the black velvet. A shaky smile pierced the blonde's lips. "Thank you, Simone. Thank you so much! I can't thank you enough!"
The woman waved her hand, smiling. "No worries, sweet heart. If you leave, who else am I going to be a bitch to?"
"Everyone else?"
The woman blinked, then threw back her head and cackled. "You owe me for this, blondie." Simone winked and strutted back out into the restaurant.
Fionna wasted no time ripping off her combat boots, throwing them into the locker, spinning the lock and shoving her feet into the size too big shoes.
Standing up, the teen wobbled, but it was good enough. She could live without her name tag for that night.
The hours flew by as the blonde concentrated on delivering food and drinks without tripping. A smile found its way onto her face and she felt her body relax.
Out of the corner of her eye, a flash of a white suit and hair caught her attention and she stumbled, the drinks on the tray tipped over and crashed to the floor.
The tables surrounding her fell silent and gave her worried looks. Some mobsters laughed and Fionna bent down, picking up the pieces of glass with trembling hands. The shards cut into her skin but she barely felt it.
Glancing over where she saw the haunting figure, she relaxed, realizing the suit wasn't as white and his hair wasn't slicked back. His nose was crooked and eyes were a light hazel instead of the black holes Fionna knew.
The restaurant buzzed once more with chatter and Fionna placed the glass on the tray, picked it up and placed it on the counter.
Grabbing a rag, she mopped up the puddle, tossed the cloth into the sink and slumped against the counter. Her hands stung with cuts but the pain was tolerable.
Scanning the eatery, Fionna's mind wandered up the stairs to the second floor, past Fabian's office and to the attic above.
Thinking about the room gave Fionna goosebumps and anger filled her veins. Did Fabian know about the hideaway? Should she tell him? The blonde tilted her head up to the ceiling.
Pushing her body away from the counter, the teen slithered her way through the restaurant and to the bar in the corner. Lavender pierced her vision and Fionna found LSP talking to the bar tender, both laughing over an unheard joke.
Fionna tapped the man on the shoulder and he jumped, swinging around to meet her eyes. "God, Fionna! You scared me!" The blonde laughed as the man scowled.
"Sorry, LSP. Just wondering if I could ask something of you."
"Only if you don't scare me again. That was mean." Fionna weakly smiled. "I'll try not to." The man nodded, satisfied. "What would you like?
"Could you get someone to watch over my section again? Just for a little bit? I need to talk to the big man."
LSP bit the inside of his mouth. "Yeah, that's fine. I owe you for keeping the place tidy when I opened the joint up." He gave Fionna a smile which she gratefully returned.
"Thanks, LSP. I owe ya one." She reached out and squeezed his shoulder. LSP nodded and Fionna dropped her arm, spun around and entered the employee lounge. She climbed the stairs and entered the dark hallway.
Suddenly, Fionna wasn't sure if she should be up there. Depending on his mood and the situation, Fabian either welcomed or was angered by disturbances. The light outline of the attic called out to her from the shadow of the ceiling didn't help the nerves that were building up in her stomach either.
Fionna shivered and stood before the double doors. She brought her fist up, lowered it, raised it up once more, inhaled, and lightly knocked.
A minute flew by and the blonde wondered if she had knocked hard enough. She raised her fist and tapped at the wood again. An irritated grunt came from inside followed by a "I'm coming! Christ, learn some patience."
Fabian threw open the door, the scowl on his face melting in a pleasant grin upon realizing who his guest was. "Fionna! Hey! Just the person I wanted to talk to. Come on in!"
He held the door open for her and the blonde entered and stood in the middle of the room awkwardly. Fabian brushed past her, plopping into his chair and kicked his feet up. "Take a seat."
Fionna scanned the room and her eyes fell to a comfortable looking arm chair sitting in front of Fabian's desk. She sat her self down and crossed her legs. Fabian took a slinky from his desk and began to play with it.
"Meant to summon you up earlier but I got completely distracted. Sorry about that."
Fionna nodded. "It's fine." She gave him a smile.
"I'm impressed. You really kept the restaurant tidy and a hell of a better job than when I shut the place down." He stared up at the ceiling, thinking. His lips twitched thoughtfully and he brought his brown eyes back down to Fionna.
"You know, I think this calls for a raise." He nodded to himself. "Yeah. That's it. A raise. How much do I pay you already?"
Fionna felt her eyes light up. "Thirty-five dollars an hour, sir."
Fabian tossed the slinky violently onto the desk. The blonde jumped, startled. "Double that."
"What?"
"Double that. What would that be? Thirty-five times two, right? That'd be..." Fionna watched him count on his fingers.
"I think it's seventy."
"And that's why you're getting the raise. Smart little bitch. How bout we start that pay tomorrow?" Fabian smiled and Fionna felt herself grin. She wanted to jump up and place a big fat kiss on his cheek and thank the hell out of him. Instead she reached out and took his hand, giving it a shake. "Thank you so much, Fabian! You have no clue how much this means to me!"
Fabian waved his hand. "Yeah, yeah. No need to thank me, Fionna. It's the least I could do." The two exchanged thoughtful looks. The man rubbed at his nose with a finger and averted eye contact. "Anything else you want to talk about?"
"Huh?"
"You came up here looking like you wanted to talk. Something you need to tell me?"
Fionna bit her lip, an image of the attic popping into her mind. "The attic. There's an attic here, right?"
"Yeah. We mainly use the space for storage. I recommend not going up there, though. Haven't used it in God knows when. I don't want you hurting yourself."
Fionna nodded. "Right."
"Why do you ask?"
"Oh, just wondering. I saw the doorway and was just curious is all."
Fabian swung his feet off of the desk. "I see. Yeah, just storage up there. Should probably clean it out eventually. Maybe when summer comes around again."
Fionna stood up. "Thanks for your time, Fabian. I think I'm going to get back to work, if you don't mind."
The blonde opened the door and stuck a foot out. An idea struck her and Fionna hesitated, turning around. "Hey, Fabian?"
The man looked up from some papers. "Yeah?"
"Do you think I can lock up the place again tonight?
The Fire Kingdom was silent and still. The chairs had been stacked up on the tables and the floors shone from a recent washing.
Fionna placed the key to the restaurant on Fabian's desk, closed the door behind her and stood in the dark hallway. Her breathing filled the hall as her hearing searched the small spaces and shadows of the building.
Half an hour sped by in what felt like seconds. The building continued to ring in silence and Fionna felt her body tense with anticipation. But nothing else could be heard besides the breath that escaped her lungs.
The blonde eyed the ceiling and felt her way along the wall to the where she knew the square of the building's attic was. Fionna stood directly under the entry way and felt that something was missing.
That night, light did not peak out from the cracks of the door. But that's not what bothered Fionna. The image of the rusty metal chair filled her vision and Fionna whipped around, searching the ground for the broken piece of furniture. Nothing.
The blonde immediately thought back to her red headed boss. He must have found it and cleaned it up. Fionna frowned and she realized he couldn't have. If he had found it, he would have mentioned it to her. The girl thought about LSP but she knew he would have nagged about it when she had talked to him. Everyone else rarely came upstairs and Fionna froze with heavy realization that the man must have climbed down and cleaned it up. And if he did, that meant he had access to the whole building and on one would ever know. Well, except for her, now.
Fionna's feet, now back in her combat boots and non work shorts, glared up at the ceiling with every emotion she felt at the moment.
The blonde scavenged for a chair and pushed the door open, and climbed in. She didn't bothere to hesitate and stood up, the door slamming shut behind her.
Fionna blinked, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. The space was chilly and the blonde fought from trembling.
The teen held in a gasp. The candles had been cleaned out and the table was gone and junk filled the once empty space. If Fionna hadn't known better, she would have thought she had the wrong attic.
The girl felt the ground with her foot, careful not to stumble on the boxes or random junk lying around. She slipped through narrow spaces and crawled over some furniture, nearly creating a land slide from the stored items.
In no time, the teen made it to the other side of the attic. The window was slightly open, letting a cool breeze filter in. Fionna placed her hand on the glass and the rotten wood of the window's pane beneath her fingers.
Fionna turned back to the attic and let her eyes feather over the abandoned room and the misguided treasures within it. She inhaled and opened the window. Immediately she was greeted with the icy hand of autumn and her skin lit up from the glow of the October moon. Fionna escaped through the window, leaving the safety of the eatery behind.
The roof was empty and Fionna inched her way to the edge. She peered three stories down at the alley below. The shards of broken wood no longer were there and Fionna couldn't find the black dot of her heels.
Huffing, Fionna searched for something she could use to cross the gap to the office building over. A rusted ladder hid behind stacks of tile, it's black paint peeling off. Fionna grabbed it and inched it across the gap to the other side. She tested the object, satisfied with its solidity.
Placing her foot on the first rung, the blonde breathed in the polluted air and gazed down at the cement below. She balanced on the rung and swung her other foot onto the next.
Fionna stretched out her arms to gain her balance, nerves leaving her. She passed the halfway mark and grinned. Placing her foot on a rung, the metal creaked and snapped. Fionna's leg shot down and her skin met with the rusty metal. Pain shot through her body and she clung to the ladder's sides for dear life.
Minutes ticked by before Fionna found the will to loosen her grasp and hoist her leg up from the damaged rung and onto the next, shakily standing up. She eased her way to the ladder's edge and jumped to the safety of the office building's roof.
The teen inhaled and exhaled deeply, gazing at the darkened sky. The rough surface of the office felt secure beneath her and for every lit up window she could see in taller sky scrapers she also counted her blessings.
Fionna stood up and followed the path the man had led her the night before. She crawled down outdoor escape shafts and dodged up alley's. Just when the blonde thought she had gotten herself hopelessly lost, Fionna turned a corner and found the abandoned apartment complex.
The building seemed to lean with a certain kind of sadness. The wind rattled through the broken windows, creating a sigh like noise from the complex.
For a long time, Fionna had forgotten why she was there. Suddenly, the apartment felt too real. Not just a dream.
The blonde felt her feet move into the building, up the stairs and to the green door. Fionna let her fingers graze the faint imprint left behind from the now missing numbers. Her fingers roamed to the doorknob and Fionna opened the door.
The teen braced for a shout. For a gun shot. For something. Anything, really. When nothing did happen, Fionna couldn't figure out if she was relieved or disappointed.
The room was empty minus the furniture and articles of clothing. Fionna walked in, shutting the door behind her. She thought about checking the bathroom but the idea of waling in on the man doing anything in there made her face warm.
Eyeing the door, Fionna sighed and sat on the bed, pulling her knees up and glared at the exit. The digital clock on the kitchen counter read 3:00 A.M. She'd give him till sunrise to show up. If he didn't, then she'd leave and face the wrath of the Gambino family. Closing her eyes to escape the image of the black eyes of the man with the platinum hair, Fionna hugged her knees closer and began to wait.
