A/N: Hi! I am so sorry that I didn't get this chapter to you guys when I promised, but don't worry I haven't left you. This chapter didn't feel like the best chapter to me, but I
don't know, that might just be me. Anyways, it's kind of a filler chapter, and I'm not that happy with it. I'm in the process of writing the next chapter and I'm hoping that one will be posted tomorrow. Thanks for the follows favorites and reviews,
enjoy!
Chapter 7
Merlin looked back up at Arthur with his big blueeyes full of tears that were overflowing onto his temples "I wasn't sure you were coming back. I had hoped, and I tried to believe you would come back, I tried to believe that you would keep your promise, but I failed. Morgana made it seem as though you left me for dead and I wanted to badly not to believe her, but she made it seem as though I wasn't worth saving. I am just
your servant after all." Merlin's eyes flickered closed.
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Arthur couldn't help thinking to himself afterwards, what in the world would make Merlin think that? Yes, there was Morgana, but there was more to it than that. Arthur would ask him some other time. Merlin needed to rest right now.
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It was a slow ride back to Camelot. They hadn't anticipated so many wounds inflicted upon one man, so they hadn't thought to bring a cart. Merlin couldn't sleep for much of it, due to the pain, but he was shivering and sweating and grunting and yelping,
even at this extremely slow pace. Fever and infection had set in, and even Arthur knew this wasn't an ideal situation. Arthur knew that if they didn't get back to Camelot soon, this would have been all for nothing.
Since Merlin couldn't sleep, he wanted to help but of course he couldn't walk or move really at all, so he showed the knights how to treat the injuries they may have received when rescuing him. Arthur forced Merlin to teach him so he could treat Merlin,
but instead Merlin just ended up ordering Arthur about, which ended in a lot of 'clot poles' and 'idiots', and 'dollop heads' exchanged on both sides. What good came of this was Merlin got his wounds wrapped to an extent. He wasn't sure how to treat
some and they couldn't set others while riding so there was still a lot of pain, but he at least got some sleep from then on.
When they got to Camelot they rode slowly into the courtyard. Arthur dismounted and, as gently as he could, slid Merlin off after. Gwen came running down the steps to the castle with several guards in tow. "Where's Merlin?" she called, desperately looking
for her best friend among the knights. Her eyes finally met with his. Hers filled with shock and relief and his filled with pain and fatigue. He was glad to see her but he quickly nodded off once she reached him and Arthur "Oh what did she do to you
Merlin?" Gwen's eyes were full of tears threatening to spill over at any moment. "We have to get him to Gaius, he's burning up and there are so many-I just-we have to-" Gwen started to mumble as she lead Arthur up the stairs and to the physician's
chambers.
Gaius saw Arthur come in with Merlin in his arms, but Merlin was almost unrecognizable. He was even skinnier than usual. His face covered in cuts and bruises and his body was mangled in ways Gaius didn't even want to think about. "Set him here," Gaius
ordered, pointing to the bed, trying to keep his voice steady. "Gwen could you fetch me some fresh water and some honey from the kitchens?" Gaius began preparing potions and tinctures for the wounds and the pain. "Merlin can you hear me?"
Merlin opened his eyes slowly and moaned as he tried to breathe in. It hurt. Everywhere. Everything hurt, and he couldn't make it stop. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and moaned "Gaius, please, make it go away. Make it go away." Gaius stroked Merlin's
hair as he made him drink a potion that smelled and tasted like a swamp. "Thanks Gaius…" Merlin started to fade away back into the abyss again. The abyss was good, Merlin decided, and it helped take the pain away for a while.
As soon as Merlin was asleep, Arthur breathed a sigh of relief. Merlin had not known Arthur was present during his little charade, but if he had known, Arthur was sure he would have put on a brave face. Arthur wondered if he put on a brave face all the
time. Or at least more than Arthur would have thought. Apparently there were a lot of things Arthur didn't know about Merlin. The scars were what mostly concerned him. Arthur had had plenty of battle wounds that later scarred, but Merlin's collection
was like no other. Arthur could tell that some were old and some were new, but age didn't matter, Arthur wanted to know why his manservant's body was riddled with scars (besides the torture of course).
Arthur was also concerned about Merlin's high pain tolerance. He supposed it was a good thing in some ways, but also a very dangerous thing. Arthur never knew all those times that he was sick or injured, and judging by the scars there had been plenty
of times that Merlin was with Arthur and didn't feel the need to tell Arthur he was in pain, or injured at least. Or maybe Arthur had known. All of those times that Merlin joked with him that he was dying when he went missing, or when he joked that
he could have been bleeding out in the forest somewhere. What if that was Merlin's way of saying he actually had been bleeding out, dying somewhere. Was Arthur that bad of a friend? Was Arthur a terrible enough friend that he couldn't
notice when his best friend was dying? Arthur felt so guilty for all of the times that he brushed Merlin's comments aside and didn't listen to him. One of those times could have cost Merlin his life, and by the looks of it, many times it almost
did.
Before Arthur knew it, he was in his chambers. Arthur had no idea how he got there but decided it was his way of telling himself to go to sleep. He fell asleep around midday but he didn't care. He was the king and would do as he pleased.
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When Arthur woke again it was only mid evening, which surprised Arthur. He would've thought he would sleep longer than that. It didn't really matter, but his wound was starting to bother him and he needed it cleaned and redressed or Gaius' previous work
would have been for nothing.
When Arthur arrived in Gaius' chambers, Merlin's breathing had steadied and Gaius was making more potions and tinctures. The door was open but Arthur still knocked. "Gaius?" Arthur asked cautiously.
"I'll be right with you." Gaius mumbled. Arthur walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. At this Gaius practically jumped, but put a hand on his chest to slow his breathing when he realized it was only Arthur. Gaius chuckled but soon fell silent
as his eyes strayed back to his ward.
"I'm sorry, Arthur, I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment and I can't really answer any questions about Merlin at the moment. I need to make sure he's stable but maybe in an hour when I've finished wrapping and setting and dressing and things, then maybe
you can come back but for the moment I cannot help you." Gaius took a deep breath. There. He said it. He went back to mixing potions and reading recipes.
Arthur thought it best not to inform Gaius of his injury at the moment, seeing as he had a bit much on his plate already. "I was just wondering if there was anything I could do to help. I'm sorry if I disturbed you." Arthur put his head down and started
to walk out of the room.
Gaius sighed "I suppose you could help keep him cool." Gaius handed him a rag and a stool. "I have to go to the lower town to help a breakout of the sweating sickness. He's woken at the same time every day but only for a few minutes if that. Find Gwen
if he starts to shout, she'll know what to do." Gaius looked sorrowfully at Merlin one last time before grabbing his supplies and hurrying out of the room.
Arthur was taken aback as he was left standing with a stool and a cloth in his hands, with a bucket of cool water on the floor next to Merlin. Merlin was in the main room and his face was squeezed tight in pain. Arthur could only imagine the pain he was
experiencing right now. Arthur wondered if Gaius had given him something for the pain like a sleeping draught or something but he decided not to worry about it. Even if Gaius hadn't, he must have his reasons. After all, he is the court physician, Arthur
thought to himself. Arthur dunked the cloth in the bucket and placed it on Merlin's forehead. The heat of Merlin's skin immediately suffocated anything that would have felt cool on the rag. The water melted with his sweat and became warm the moment
it touched his skin. What have I done? This is all my fault. Arthur blamed himself for what happened to Merlin. Maybe if he had been a better brother to Morgana or if he had attempted to help her or find out what had been bothering her, maybe
she wouldn't have turned out the way she did. If she hadn't been so set on torturing Arthur, Merlin wouldn't be dying. Gaius hadn't told him much about Merlin's condition, mostly because Arthur hadn't asked, but Arthur had seen too many battles and
wounds to know that Merlin was in a bad state. He could only imagine what kind of effect this would have on Merlin. Arthur knew the road to rehabilitation would be a long one, but hopefully Merlin would pull through, If he could get on the road, Arthur
thought.
"This is all my fault. All my fault. I should have…I should have…I should have done something, anything. If you die Merlin, I'll never forgive myself. Nothing would ever be the same without you. Gods Merlin I wish I could change what happened but
I can't. I can't change what she did to you. Oh gods Merlin I don't know, I just…please…don't leave me." Arthur put his head in his hands for a few minutes, trying to imagine what a life without Merlin would be like, and found that everything he thought
of were memories of him and Merlin; memories of hunting trips, of training, of just being together. Arthur found that to him, there was no such thing as a life without Merlin.
The cloth was warm when he took it off of Merlin again, but it was still wet. Whether that was from sweat or water, Arthur didn't want to know. He dunked it in the bucket again when he heard a gasp.
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Merlin's eyes shot open. The pain. The pain. It consumed him. It consumed his thoughts, his feeling, everything, it consumed him. He couldn't escape from it. When he was asleep he had nightmares of Morgana, and when he was awake there was the pain. There
was no escaping what had happened. Every time Merlin would fall asleep, he would relive various injuries that he received while in Morgana's "care". Merlin just wanted it to end.
He let out an involuntary gasp as he woke up. His body attempted to sit up but this was futile. There was fire, everywhere. Merlin was on fire. Not literally of course, but that's what it felt like.
"Merlin! What do you think you're doing!
Someone was very angry with him. Merlin would recognize that voice and face anywhere. The strong arms that pressed him down onto the bed again definitely belonged to Arthur, but Merlin thought he was a guard, in his cell, beating him.
Merlin still thought he was in one of his nightmares. "Wha, morga, hur's, pleas, i' hurs, make stop, please make it stop." Merlin tried to express his pain through words but there were no words for his pain. At least not in this language. The tears running
down the sides of his face were enough for Arthur to understand. Merlin sobbed as much as he could with all of his injuries. As he went on his talking got easier to understand. Merlin thought it would never end. The torture was endless, he may as
well give up now. Merlin finally recognized Arthur as the one with him and saw that he was in Gaius' chambers.
"Merlin, it's alright, you're safe. You're with me, it's Arthur." Arthur's blue eyes stared at his and Merlin genuinely felt safe. He knew it would all be alright.
"No wonder I woke up. That stench is awful," Merlin tried to joke.
Arthur chuckled, knowing he was referring to Arthur. "It's good to see that you've still got your sense of humor. So how do you feel?" Arthur asked tentatively, wondering how many times he had probably been asked that question.
Merlin attempted a shrug but ended up wincing instead "Well my heart is still beating way too fast to be healthy, and I feel like I've been trampled by a horse, run through several times, and it feels like about 20 wagons decided it would be a good idea
to run me over. So how does that sound?" Merlin's tone wasn't bitter, but sarcastic and joking. Arthur wondered how he could be so… so… Merlin after everything that had just happened.
"That sounds about right." Arthur acknowledged he hadn't thought Merlin would be acting so normal right now. He always told Merlin what a girl he was or how he was being really stupid about a scratch, but truth be told, it was almost never a scratch and
Merlin was one of the bravest men Arthur had ever met.
Merlin's eyes glazed over suddenly and he started shouting "No! Please! Morgana please no!" The shouts turned to mumbles and whimpers "It's okay Merlin. You'll be fine. It's almost over. It's almost over. She won't hurt you anymore." Merlin kept on like
this for a while.
Arthur didn't want to leave him so he sent the guards to fetch Guinevere.
Gwen knew why she was needed when the guards came to get her, telling her the King needed to see her. She ran to the physician's chambers, where her best friend lay squirming and upsetting his wounds, and then she saw Arthur. He was like a frightened
horse; he didn't know what to do with himself. Arthur had never had to be in this kind of situation before. "Merlin!" Gwen gasped, trying to ignore Arthur. "Hush, hush, it's alright Merlin. You're safe. We're by the lake. It's alright."
Merlin immediately relaxed. What is she doing that I wasn't? Arthur wondered exasperatedly. "Freya." Merlin practically breathed her name. "Can we stay for a while Freya?" Who is Freya? Arthur wondered. Merlin never spoke of her, so why
was this his comfort in this terrible time? This Freya must be important to him, Arthur thought, but why did he never tell me about her? Arthur decided to let it drop for now and add it to the list of things to ask Merlin when he was
better. Merlin nuzzled against Gwen's arm as she hummed "I'm so sorry, Freya. I'm sorry I failed you. I failed you." Who is Freya?
A/N: So? What did you think? I thought about leaving Freya out of it but I couldn't help myself. The plot bunnies attacked and it just kind of happened. Please review and leave any
suggestions or comments. Tell me what you think I should do with it. To be honest there are at least ten different possibilities in my head for the next chapter so I'm open to any ideas. Thanks so much and I hope you enjoyed!
