CHAPTER 6

- The Only Thing to Fear... -

"Sooo... This is the place then?" asked Goombella, examining the new symbol on the Map.
"I think so..." Mario answered.

Shortly after the gang had left the Ninja Dome with the Yellow Lips of Love, the Crystal Ball and the Map did their usual 'dance', thereby printing the location of the next Rainbow Relic.
This new black symbol looked like a pair of feet, and was located on an odd area of the Map that was of a much darker shade than all the rest. The name of the area, as shown on the Map, was Darkshade Woods.

And here they were, standing at the harrowing entrance to the woods. Their only welcome was a crude wooden sign with the words 'Darkshade Woods' painted in red letters. It seemed like whoever made and placed that sign did so in quite a hurry.
"Goddamn..." Verdugo whispered. "Look at that. The light just com-pletely disappears like, a couple ten yards into there."
"Creepy..." Koops said. "I don't know about this, guys. Dark forests aren't exactly my bag."
"Well, it suits me OK," Vivian said. "I kind of like the dark..."
"Me too!" exclaimed Ms Mowz. "Let's go already!"

Barely a minute after entering the woods, the sunlight had all but abandoned the nine travelers. The tall trees blocked it all out, and they were trapped under a veil of darkness that seemed to swallow them whole. Trees and shrubs became visible only when they were a foot away. It eventually came to Vivian to ignite a candle-sized flame on her thumb that everyone could use as a guide, but unfortunately, they still had no idea where they were going. As the group traveled deeper and deeper into the woods, their surroundings became increasingly odd.

First came the tree trunks. Many of them were coated in a crusty red substance that had long since dried up, or so it seemed in the light of Vivian's flame. Only a few were noticed at first, but the number of red-coated trees increased as they walked.

Next came the smell. The forest had the unpleasant stench of dead wood the whole way through, but over time, the smell had become something far worse. This stench flew up their nostrils and filled everyone with both disgust and fear, for it seemed to them all that it was none other than the smell of rotting flesh...

Next came the odd twig formations dangling in the trees. Twigs tied into odd shapes with rope were hung from the low tree branches. In the darkness, they may have even resembled men hanging helplessly by there ankles, completely motionless, swinging only by the aid of the haunting breeze that blew from deeper within the woods...

Peach suddenly stopped right in the middle of a small clearing that all of them were barely able to fit in. About four or five of those creepy stick formations hung directly above them. The surrounding trees were also coated in the mysterious, dry red liquid.
"Peach dear, why have you stopped?" Flurrie asked.
"Honestly!" Bobbery scoffed. "If you don't mind, I'm frightened out of my wits and I'd like to keep moving, thank you!"
"I'm sorry everybody," Peach apologized. "But I just remembered something - The Poem! We didn't read the new poem verse that was added by the Lips of Love! Maybe we should read it!"

Goombella protested. "Oh no! Ooooooh no! No way! That poem is ALREADY too scary! There is NO way I'm gonna let you read that freaky poem in this freaky forest with a bunch of freaky stick things hanging above us! It's gonna traumatize me! Really!" She ran over to Mario and stood behind his legs. "Don't let her read it, Mario! I'm scared!"
Mario could see what Goombella was saying, and he somewhat agreed. It seemed like most of them did. "Err... yeah. Vivian, why don't you put out that light so Peach can't read it..."
"No Vivian, keep it on!" Peach argued, "I think we should read it!'
"I'm actually kinda curious about the poem myself..." Vivian replied, carefully moving her thumb close to the paper so Peach could maybe see it.

Once everyone else realized what was happening, they immediately prepared to make some move to put a stop to it...
But once Peach began to reading, all was silent, and all was motionless.
Despite the fact that they all believed that this was a terrible place to read such a haunting poem...
In reality, way deep down, they all wanted to hear the rest as well.
They needed to...
And so, without further objections, they all simply listened as Peach recited the poem in a quiet voice...

Protector of the Sky
Grounded by the eye
Of the ever-growing beast
Which the light is its feast...

Born from dark hearts
We seize the Gods' Arts
We live to see die
The Protector of the Sky...

Crooks, rogues and thieves
Plague a town by the sea,
This dark and shadowed war,
A baby girl, it bore...

A land of toadstools
Where a monarchy rules
And where kings kill for joy
And spawn an infant boy...

When a gent loves a lass
Overseas they may pass,
And when together in love,
May the world drown in blood...

Silence.
Only the sound of the wicked breeze and the faint creaking of the harrowing stick dolls hanging overhead.

Goombella finally spoke. "Great. Just great. It just HAD to be the freakiest poem installment yet! Oh... I'm gonna have nightmares, I know it! Omigosh, WHY did I let you read that?!"
"Well, if I had to guess..." Koops said, "I'd say that the aforementioned 'girl' and 'boy' actually met overseas and fell in love at some point..."
"Makes sense," said Mario. "Still not enough to explain exactly why this crystal ball seems so intent on telling us more of this poem every time we get a friggin' Rainbow Relic..."
"Well, I hope you two are happy," Verdugo snapped, looking at Peach and Vivian.
"Aw, c'mon!" Peach said. "You weren't SCARED, were you?"
Verdugo crossed his arms. "No way! I wasn't scared!"
"Well," Vivian said silently. "We should get going, then..." She herself was a little shaken. Maybe she should've just waited until later to hear the rest of the poem...

Another fifteen minutes or so of walking through the freakish woods, and the trees finally split and a large clearing opened up before them...
And standing within it was a huge statue of a woman. Upon closer inspection, she seemed to have the features of a witch.
But what startled everyone was most was the fact that the sky looked as though it could've been midnight...
What? But they had entered Darkshade Woods at only about 4 in the afternoon, when the sun was still shining. And they'd only been walking for about 45 minutes.
Strange...

Mario approached the statue and looked up at it. The woman stood in a formal pose, her hands together at her chest. Her eyes just screamed evilness.
Mario read the letters at the base of the statue...

Bansha

May her wicked soul forever be banished beneath this tomb

Intrigued, Mario circled around the base of the tombstone (for it was now clear that's what it was), and found what appeared to be a stone door. He reached for the handle, and pulled.
But nothing happened.
"Hmm... must just be for show," Mario said aloud.

Flurrie had been nearby and had seen Mario try to open the 'door'. She floated over and pushed the door instead.
It swung open.
Mario grumbled and Flurrie chuckled.

The gang gathered around the door at the base of the tomb. Peaking in, it lead only to a black pit. The pit itself was far too dark to tell exactly how deep it was or where it went...
"Where do you think it goes to?" Ms Mowz wondered.
"I haven't the faintest idea," Bobbery said. "Would you like the honor of finding out for us?"
Ms Mowz put her hands on her hips. "Well I never!"
"My 'Rainbow Relic' senses are tingling!" Mario joked. "But seriously, somebody's gotta go first..."

Vivian leaned over the gaping pit and lit her thumb aflame. He carefully leaned over the edge and lowered her arm down into pit, hoping maybe to get any idea at all of how deep it was. However, when she did, a cold breeze from within the hole caused the flame to flicker out. "Oh... dangit" she muttered, snapping her fingers in attempt to reignite the flame.
"Yo Vivian!" Verdugo shouted. "Why don't you just do that crazy ass fire thing you did back at the Ninja Dome? That was AWESOME!"
Vivian immediately stopped snapping her fingers. She then turned away and pulled her hat down further over her face.

Koops nudged Verdugo roughly, urging him to be quiet.

Flurrie then floated close to the hole. "What on earth is down there...?" she asked.
Mario put his finger to his lips, insisting that everyone be silent. He then crept up behind Flurrie... and shoved her into the pit!
Everyone gasped! But, they were reassured when Flurrie was actually just floating over the pit.
"Mario! What in blazes was THAT for? Did you by chance forget that I float?!"
Mario tried to hold in his laughter and disappointment. "Yeah, for a second I did..."
Flurrie looked at him for a long time. She finally scoffed and said, "Well fine, if you all want me to go down there into that pit that leads to goodness-knows-where, then so be it!"
"Be sure to bring back a souvenir!" Bobbery cracked
Flurrie grunted once more before carefully and methodically lowering herself into the pitch dark hole...

Going down the hole was tough, seeing as her large body was barely able to fit. However, not long after working herself down a ways, the narrow passage finally opened up into what felt like a large underground chamber. It was far too dark to see anything, but she had a hunch that she probably wouldn't want to.
A feeling then swept over her. A frightening feeling. A feeling that she was being watched...
Like there something in this darkness that she couldn't see, but it could see her...
Her thoughts were interrupted by the echoing shouts of her friends above.

"Hey Flurrie! You alright down there?!"
"Find any zombies?!"
"Did you get stuck in the hole?!"
"You dead yet?!"

Flurrie called back up to her friends. "Everyone! I've reached the bottom! The passage opened up into some sort of underground room!"
"What's in there?!" Goombella shouted. They had to shout in order to hear each other.
"I... I don't know! It's too dark to see!"
"Is it a crypt, perhaps?!" Ms Mowz asked.
"Well, I certainly hope not!" Flurrie answered, angry that they were making her more nervous.
"How deep's the passage?!" Peach asked.
"Umm... I'm guessing maybe thirty feet or so!"
"Thirty feet! That's it?! w00t! Move out the way!"

A few seconds later Flurrie was startled by the sound of someone heavy landing next to her.

"W-who's there?" Flurrie stammered.
"It's-a me! Mario!" Mario joked.
"Oh, Mario... Thank goodness."
"No problem. Though, I think that drop is a lot higher than you said. Jumpin' thirty feet is like nothing to me, but... I think that fall broke both my legs. I'm dying, Flurrie. I'm dying..."
"Oh no, Mario dear! I'm sorry! Please don't die!"
"Haha! Just kiddin' ya, Flurrie!"
Flurrie groaned in annoyance, but she was still happy. "Oh, you jester, you..."
Mario chuckled again. He then called up to the rest. "Hey everyone! Come on down! Vivian, use your tail to help the smaller guys of the bunch!"
"OK Mario!" they all answered.

Koops and Bobbery were tough enough to endure the fall on their own.
Ms Mowz crawled down the wall of the passage in true thieving fashion.
Vivian took Goombella in one arm and Verdugo in the other, then use her tail to slowly lower them all into the pit.
The only one left was Peach. Vivian used her thumb flame to illuminate a small area in the chamber, and Mario stood at the base of the hole, ordering for Peach to jump. It took some coaxing, but she finally did, and Mario gracefully caught her mid-fall.

Once they were all huddled in the mysterious room, Vivian increased the size of her flame. She then began to float slowly around the room, shining her flame on everything she saw. What an odd room it was...

There was a guillotine, an open coffin filled with huge spikes, at least a dozen nooses, and many other devices of death and torture... all coated in dry blood.
What on earth had happened in here? Who had used all these horrible devices?
Their question was soon answered when Vivian's flame settled on a sickening sight.

Sprawled across a blood-drenched table, was a skeleton in a black dress with long brown hair.
Vivian jumped back in surprise and fear when she saw it, almost putting out the flame, but she quickly recovered and began to study the skeleton.
"Could this... be that Bansha person?" she wondered.
"Might be," said Goombella, advancing to study the skeleton as well. "But that makes no sense. The dirt layers on her bones imply that she's been dead for like, ever. But... her hair should've fallen off her scalp years ago. But look it. It's still so thick and full, like she was never dead..."

Mario then noticed something. "Hey look! She's holding something!"
Indeed, the corpse of Bansha had her hands resting on something on her chest. Whatever it was, it was concealed by a loincloth. Thinking maybe they could get an idea of what it was, Mario began to look at it from all different angles, hoping maybe the loincloth wasn't covering it up in just one little spot...

He then found an opening in the cloth.
He looked closer...
And saw in the light of Vivian's mellow flame, a flicker of green light.
He gasped. "The Rainbow Relic! She's got the green Rainbow Relic in her hands!"

Everyone's surprise overcame their fear and they ran over to see. They all saw what Mario did... that green glow. There was no mistaking it. Bansha held the Rainbow Relic in her dead hands.
"Alright! Let's nab it!" Verdugo exclaimed.
"NO!" Peach cried. "Haven't you ever heard any ghost stories?! You never take anything from a corpse's hands!"
"Well, we've got to get it SOMEhow..." Mario said.

He started to reach for the Rainbow Relic, but eventually stopped and dropped his hands down by his sides. "I say we search this room a little bit... Maybe we can find out a little bit more about this woman. Maybe even find a good way to get out of here with the Rainbow Relic without her trying to eat us or something..."
No one was sure what it was they might find, but they still agreed with Mario anyway.

Vivian snapped her fingers sharply and created the biggest flame she could, but it still was hardly bigger than an alcohol burner flame. "We might need more light..." she said. "Hey Goombella? Does that light on your helmet actually work?"
"No..." she said, embarrassed. "It's mostly for show. I only wear it to class so I look like a determined archeologist."
"Whoa..." Mario said. "You actually wear that thing to school?"
"Umm... yeah, I just said that."
In his head, Mario was howling in laughter.

Using Vivian's light source, they all circled the room and examined the various devices of torture and execution, though no one dared get too close, let alone touch them. The fact that they were all caked in dry blood didn't help either...

Verdugo suddenly jumped in excitement. "Hey! C'mere guys! I found something!"
Everyone walked over quickly and quietly, curious about what Verdugo he found. He triumphantly held up a small stack of papers, bound together by a paper clip. The document didn't seem to have a title.
"Looks to be some memoir of Bansha's..." Bobbery thought.
"Should we read it?" asked Verdugo.
"No! No way!" Mario protested. "Remember what happened when we read Ghost T's diary in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door? Oh, what's that? You forgot? Well, let me remind you... GAME OVER!!"
"But that was just a game, Mario," Goombella reasoned. "This is real life. It might be different. Who knows?"
"I say we read it!" Verdugo exclaimed. "It might tell us how we can get the Rainbow Relic out of the hands of her freakish corpse!"

Everyone then looked back over at Bansha's body, which was still clutching the wrapped up Relic that rested on her bosom.
Mario nodded. "Alright Verdugo. Go ahead and read it to us."
"Cool!" Verdugo cried. "Vivian! Light please!"
Vivian held her thumb close to the paper and allowed Verdugo to read. He cleared his throat and began...

--

Oh, my beautiful, long brown hair... Life's been tough since I came to live a quiet, more reclusive life in the forest on the east side of Morteva, but it's still worth it as long as I have all my accessories... Now I can pamper my hair all day and all night as I please!

Call me a hermit, or a mole, or whatever you wish, but I've dug myself an underground chamber where I can live in peace until the end of my days. I'm not sure if the dank underground air will be good for my hair, but I don't mind caring for it a bit more than usual to keep it nice! I sometimes wonder if anything exciting may happen to me while I'm living here...

Well, I've spent been a year in the forest, and I must admit that city life is a bit more entertaining. However, I regret my decision not. The forest is a beautiful place to make my living! I do still wonder, however, if anything exciting may happen to me...

What a strange day... I was outside brushing my hair when The Rainbow that has shined aloft in the sky since as long as I can remember simply vanished into the air. Never had a day or night gone by that I hadn't seen The Rainbow shining up there in the Heavens, and in but a single second, it has now gone... Is this natural? Perhaps, but part of me still doesn't think so...

The sky's grown dark the past few days. It is no longer much fun to stand outside and brush my hair... I took a short walk to the city, but I preferred to stay beyond the city limits and watch from afar. There seemed to be quite an uproar going on there. Something frightening is happening in our world. But what? I suppose it's no concern of mine. As long as I can continue to live peacefully in the forest and care for my hair, I needn't concern myself with the matters of the outside world...

I was out for a walk in the woods when a strange couple approached me today. The woman's hair was long and black, and her eyes shown a deep shade of violet. The man was tall and had jet black hair, and even blacker eyes. I asked them who they were, but they didn't answer me. The woman merely shoved a strange-looking statue into my hands. "Hide this in your underground home, and don't ever let anyone find it," she ordered. The man then said "Just do as we say and ask no questions!" I looked down at the figure in my hands - a shiny green pair of feet. I then looked up to perhaps say something to this mysterious couple, but by the time I did, they were already gone...

This relic... it seems to possess amazing power. I just feel so entranced by its beauty... I shall keep it in my home forever. I have no idea who that mysterious couple was, but I thank them for this gift. Reinus forbid anyone try to take it from me...

What a scary night... A man snuck into my home last night and tried to steal my treasure. Determined to stop him, I tied some spare rope around his neck and used all my strength to hang him by his neck until he breathed no more. Amazing... Was this relic giving me strength? Or had I been so protective of it that my adrenaline made me kill the thief when he tried to take it away? In either case, killing the man felt... good. Curse him for trying to take my treasure. Curse him...

More and more people come now at night and try to steal my treasure. I don't understand. What does it mean to them? It can't possibly mean as much to them as it does to me. Why must they try to steal it? I must build more equipment that I can use to slaughter anyone who enters my home. More... Blades, coffins, nooses... Yes, lots of nooses. They are my favorites! Kill them all... Kill those who threaten to steal my treasure!

Many dead now... Many, many dead... My home is heavy with the scent of blood... I even spread the blood of my victims on the tree trunks to keep people away... And if that isn't enough, I use their bones to make frightening dolls that hang from the trees. My treasure... They shall never have it. Never. My hair. My beautiful hair... It is shaggy and coarse. I have no water to run it through to make it straight and pretty again. But blood... There's much blood... This puddle on the ground, right beside me. Yes... Must make my hair straight and pretty again...

--

The bottom of the page was dotted with a few dry red splotches. Despite this, Verdugo continued reading...

--

I woke up this morning and found the exit to my home was blocked. A large stone. The ladder leading out of the pit is gone, too. Someone did it while I slept. Someone angry. Perhaps many angry people. They want me dead... But why? I only killed those who were after my beautiful green treasure. I thank that mysterious couple even to this day... But why must I die down here? Even now, I feel myself suffocating in the thick scent of blood... My hair. My beautiful hair... all straight and pretty now. All I can do now is lay myself down, holding my treasure in my hands as I die. As long as I always feel it in my hands, I can sleep in peace...

--

That was all there was. Verdugo set the paper down and everyone was silent.
"Wow... freaky..." Koops muttered.

"Well, according to that last paragraph..." Mario said quietly, "As long as she can feel the Rainbow Relic in her hands, she can sleep in peace... That tells me that maybe we can replace the Relic with something of the same size, and maybe her spirit, or whatever, won't notice..."
"I suppose..." Peach said. "But I'm still intrigued. Who could be this couple that gave Bansha the Rainbow Relic in the first place?"
"Well..." though Ms Mowz, "We did just read about a couple that fell in love in that poem. I sense a connection, but I can't be sure..."
"In any case," said Mario, "I have an idea of what we can use to replace the Rainbow Relic. Once that's done, we can have Flurrie and Vivian help us all out of here, OK? OK, let's get going..."

About five minutes later, the door at the base of Bansha's tombstone opened up, and out came each member of the party, one by one. Mario was helped out last, who held the Rainbow Relic in his hands, but by the same token, was without any shoes. C:
The nine walked quickly out of Darkshade Woods, eager to get out and move on with their adventure. They were also eager to see what new symbol and poem verse the Crystal Ball might print on the Map this time...?


Reinus paced back and forth in his throne room, stroking his mustache. He hadn't seen Mario and his party since he'd last checked up on them after they'd gotten the Red Hands of Friendship. He began to wonder if maybe he shouldn't have put his trust in these mere earth beings.
Sure they already had found one Rainbow Relic already, last he checked...
And sure, they had defeated the X-nauts, or so Zanthir had said...
But still... They were looking for The Rainbow Relics, ancient artifacts that contained the fatherly power of the Gods themselves! Was it really worth it to put such treasures in the care of these people merely because of a single attempted alien invasion? These 'X-nauts' didn't seem like they would've been much of a threat anyway...

After much self-debating, Reinus then came to a conclusion - if he could somehow just find a way to see how much progress Mario and his team were making in their search, he would decide whether or not to permit them to continue or to abort the quest entirely. Last he checked, they had found one. If by this point, they had found at least, say... three, then he would deem them trustworthy. Wondering how he might do this, Reinus called for Yama.
"Yama!"

Yama came flying in as quickly as he could. "What is it ma'am, umm... ma'am, I mean ma'am? Sir? Ma'am sir?"
"Please!" Reinus ordered, raising his hand. "Have you been surveying Mario and his team on their quest for the Rainbow Relics?"
"Umm... in my free time, yes," Yama explained.
"How are they doing?"
"Well, last I saw, they had just won the yellow Rainbow Relic, the Lips of Love, from the Ninja Dome. You remember the Lips of Love, right?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," Reinus said, recalling the days of The Rainbow so long ago. "Please, continue."
"Ah, right," Yama said. "Yes, I was in the audience watching the fights, and I saw that Vivian chick totally go crazy on some poor Cheep-Cheep. Seemed like a pretty big deal... But anyway, that's not important. They ended up beating the champion Goomliath and winning the trophy, which had the Lips of Love attached. At that point, it looked like they were also carrying the Hands of Friendship and the Ears of Trust. Along with the Lips of Love, that's three so far. I'm not sure if they've found anymore since, but I'm still impressed. We couldn't find the Rainbow Relics in 1,000 years, and Mario and co have already found at least three in two days!"
"Don't forget Yama, it wasn't a priority of ours to find the Relics. It has only become an urgent matter as of late due to the attempted X-naut invasion, as Zanthir claims."
"Ah, yes sir," Yama quickly replied.

"Well then," Reinus said, "Very good. I shall allow Mario and his friends to continue the quest. At this rate, we may have The Rainbow back in the sky in no time! Yama, I ask of you to survey Mario and his friends closely. With every Rainbow Relic they find, report to me at once."
"Yes ma'am!"
"Ugh... Just go please."
And so Yama turned around and began to head out the room. But Reinus quickly stopped him.

"Wait, Yama!"
"Yes?" Yama asked, turning back around.
"...Do you, by chance, know where Uber is?"
Yama looked puzzled. "Ehh... Nope, haven't seen him in a while, chief. Told me a while ago he was going on one of his 'Inspirational Trips' through the clouds. Haven't seen him since... "
Reinus groaned. "Ugh... What inspiration does that guy need?! New ideas on how to give people Atomic Wedgies?!"
"I would think so, sir. Seems to me like he's got a pretty big project in the works..."
Reinus sat back up. "Very well. Please get on with your job, Yama."
"Very well ma'am... I mean sir, I mean..."
"Go!"
Yama nodded and quickly flew out of the room.

Reinus sat back in his throne and thought hard. What was it that Yama had said about Vivian? That she had gone crazy on some Cheep-Cheep? Could that perhaps mean... she killed him?
His eyes narrowed at the thought.

Vivian... She was a Shadow Siren... He knew that kind was no good since he'd first seen the species evolve 1,000 years ago. The first ones he'd ever seen, he remembered, had been a couple. A male and a female, holding hands, making mischief together...
Could this Vivian be related to them?
If so, he would certainly have to keep a close eye on her, for he knew that the two Shadow Sirens he'd seen so long ago were somehow connected with the disappearance of The Rainbow...

"Reinus! Reinus!" cried a familiar voice from beyond the door.
Reinus looked up, surprised. "Um, uhh... C-come in!"
The door flew open, and in floated an old friend - Zanthir. And he seemed to have brought a friend along as well. A Paratroopa that carried a mailbag. He was panting and sweating as though the flight up there had been too much for him.

"Zanthir!" Reinus exclaimed happily. "I thought you were out on business!"
"I was, sir!" Zanthir exclaimed. "However, I've stumbled across something even more urgent. Reinus, I'd like you to meet Parakarry. Parakarry, this is Reinus, King of the Gods!"
Parakarry, who was still exhausted, looked up at Reinus. He tried to smile. "H-howdy there, Reinus. It's an... honor ta... m-meet ya..."
Reinus laughed. "Ho ho, don't go exhausting yourself, Mr Parakarry! It's alright. Flying all the way up here must be quite taxing for a Paratroopa such as yourself!"
"T-tell me about it..." gasped Parakarry, who chose to sit down.

Reinus then turned to Zanthir. "Now then, what's this urgent business you speak of, Zanthir?"
"Ah yes," Zanthir exclaimed. "You see, in the middle of my business, I ran into Parakarry here. He claimed to be looking for Vivian, who as you know is of Mario's party, so he could apologize to her about losing Bobbery's Elation boarding pass..."
It was noticed Zanthir flashed a very nasty look at Parakarry before continuing.
"But anyway, when I met Parakarry, he was holding this..."

Zanthir motioned for Parakarry's mailbag, asking him to remove its contents. Parakarry nodded, and silently removed the sparkling indigo stone carved in the shape of a nose.
Reinus stared at it in absolute awe. "Oh my goodness! Parakarry, you found the Nose of Knowledge?"
Parakarry chuckled between breaths. "Hehe... is that... what they call it?"
"Why certainly!" Reinus exclaimed. "What excellent timing for you to be looking for Vivian! She and her team are looking for stones such as those! The Rainbow Relics!"
"Yeah, yeah..." Parakarry said. "Heard it all from Zanthir. Just another reason why we gotta find 'em!"
"Indeed," said an excited Reinus. "Oh my, at this rate, the Rainbow Relics will be collected in no time at all!"

Reinus then got a suspicious look on his face. "Excuse me Parakarry, but if you don't mind me asking... Where did you find the Nose of Knowledge?"
Parakarry was feeling much more energetic now. "Well, in my search for Vivian, I wound up in this swamp where I met this big ol' frog thing. He said he was sick and asked if I could go in his belly and help him out. So I did, and I beat up that germ in him called Squeamula or somethin'... and then when I did, he coughed up this stone!"
"Marinu, the Water God..." Reinus whispered to himself. "Marinu had the Nose of Knowledge in his gut all these years? He's a God, for goodness sake! Why didn't he tell me?!"
"I dunno..." Parakarry said, crossing his arms. "Fella said he'd been sick fer the past thousand years."
Reinus groaned. "Goodness gracious, whoever hid these Relics really wanted them hidden well..."
He then sat up. "Zanthir! Parakarry! In addition to getting the Nose of Knowledge to Mario and his party as fast as possible, I also demand you pay Marinu another visit and ask him precisely how it is he ingested this Rainbow Relic 1,000 years ago. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal clear!" exclaimed Zanthir.
"Can do!" said Parakarry.

Reinus smiled. "Very well then, please be off!"


Doopliss had done nothing all day. From the moment he awoke early that morning, he'd felt too weak to rise from bed. He simply laid there like a lump all day, sobbing.

"She loves Atlan... She'll never love me..."

Wiping away the thousandth tear to drip from his eye that day, Doopliss began to wonder if maybe getting Atlan to stand her up wasn't such a bad idea after all. Maybe if he could somehow make Vivian really just forget about him... Make Atlan out to seem like the biggest jerk in the world. Yeah!
But Doopliss then stopped himself.

"No...Whether Atlan's in the picture or not, Vivian hates me. She's hated me ever since we first met and fought over that Crystal Star..."

He then began to sob heavily.

"Atlan's all I have... Atlan's the only chance I'll ever have. Without him, I'd never be able to hold Vivian in my arms... I'd never be able to caress her... Talk to her... Kiss her..."

But Doopliss did another double take and slapped himself in the face. Hard. Harder than he'd planned. Damn, he really was frustrated with himself.

"No Doopliss! Atlan isn't REAL!! You're living a lie! You're making Vivian fall in love with a LIE!! That's not what you want for her! You want her to be happy, dammit! Maybe little white lies can make a person feel better sometimes, but this... This is no little white lie! This is love..."

Doopliss finally got the strength to sit up. He brushed himself off, jumped off the bed, and walked up to the window and stared out. The sun was setting, casting the world in a brilliant fiery glow.

"I have to do it... I need Atlan out of the picture. I need him gone. Only then will I ever have a chance to let Vivian to truly know how I feel... You have to realize, Doopliss. With Atlan gone, even though you're chances of being with Vivian are 1,000,000 to 1, that's 1 more than with Atlan being here. I have to do this..."

Doopliss smiled to himself.
He then let out a sigh. He walked towards the wall mirror and took his Atlan disguise. That handsome face... He looked at it with such disgust that it almost scared him.
It felt like two different people, staring each other down in a contest of life or death.
Doopliss saw Atlan. He didn't see himself. Exactly how it should have been.
"Good-bye Atlan..."

He then transformed back into his old self.
It was the last time he would ever put on his Atlan disguise ever again.


Doopliss stood outside the door to Room 13 - the room where Vivian and Mario and all them were staying. He was sure they were still out on their search for those Rainbow Relic things, so he knew the coast was clear. In his hand, he held a note that he had written. He decided to do a quick proofread...

--

Dear Vivian...

How are you? Too bad we didn't get to go out last night, but hey, there's still tonight, right? I'd love it if you could meet me tonight at 10 'o clock at the little wooden bench on the cruise dock. I'm dying to see you, babe.
There's something I really need to tell you. So please, be there...
XOXOX

Love, Atlan

PS: Don't come to see me in my room before then. I want our meeting at the dock to be the only one today. I just want it to feel extra special! See you there, dollface!

--

Making sure it sounded just right, Doopliss took a deep breath. He planned to slip the note under the door so Vivian would find it. From then on, he wasn't sure what would happen. He would just have to play be ear and follow his feelings.
He bent down hesitantly, ready to slide the note beneath the door. He closed his eyes, and under his breath, he lectured himself as to why this was the only way.

"I'd rather have Vivian hate me for who I am... than have her love me for who I'm not."

And with that, he slid the paper far underneath the door. So far that he knew he wouldn't be able reach under and pull it back out. There was no turning back now...
Doopliss stood there for a while, wondering just what might he do.
Figuring he'd think about it later, he began to head back to his room...

Suddenly, the door to Room 14 opened, and out stepped someone familiar...
Lord Crump!
Doopliss gasped loudly, and Crump turned to look at him.
"Umm... don't I know you from somewhere?" Crump asked.
Doopliss was quivering. "Umm, uhh... I don't think so!"
Two voices then rang from within the room. "Who are you talking to, Crump?!"
"Yeah CRUMP!! Get out there and start lookin' for Peach and Vivian already! Don't go talkin' to strangers!"
Doopliss recognized both voices. One was Bowser.
But one really rang a bell...
"Grodus," he told himself.

As if on cue, Grodus's head bounded out of the room to see what the commotion was. When he spotted Doopliss, a sudden look of reminiscence struck his eyes. "You... I remember you! You're that pathetic Duplighost that replaced Vivian when she left the Shadow Sirens! What the hell are YOU doing here?!"
Doopliss stammered. "M-me?! I-I should be asking YOU that question! What are you and Crump doing here, and Bowser too!?"
Bowser poked his head out the door. "Someone say my name?"

Grodus then narrowed his eyes. "...Mario... You're here because you know Mario and his group are here! What's your business with them?! TELL ME!"
Doopliss couldn't answer that. How on earth could he tell them that he was only there because he was in love with Vivian? How would he react? Would he even believe them?!
Grodus then shook his head. "No, you know what? Why you're here isn't important. However... You can lead me to them, can't you?!"
Doopliss looked puzzled, but he knew nonetheless that this group of villains wasn't in Morteva with good intentions. "Why do you want to know?"
"That's none of your concern!" Grodus yelled. "Now tell me where they are this instant!!"
Doopliss reached behind his back for the doorknob to his room, ready to throw it open and run in at any second. He feared that if they were after Mario's party, they might try and hurt Vivian, too.
"Never..." he said quietly.

Grodus roared. "Bowser! Crump! SEIZE HIM!!"
Bowser and Crump immediately dashed for Doopliss, who twisted the doorknob and attempted to jump through the door into his room. However, he was stopped short by four strong hands snatching his feet in midair and pulling him back.
"No! Let me go!" Doopliss cried, trying to resist by grabbing the edge of the doorway and holding on.
But Bowser and Crump were too strong for him. He lost his grip and was dragged mercilessly along the carpeted hallway floor into the lair of the three villains. He saw the door slam shut in front of his face. He was trapped.

"Pin him against the wall!" Grodus ordered.
Bowser and Crump obeyed. They each grabbed one of Doopliss's shoulders and slammed him hard against the wall. Grodus bounded over and stood in front of Doopliss.
"So..." he said casually, "Ready to tell us where Mario and his friends are?"
Doopliss didn't bother to try and escape. He spoke fearlessly. "You're an idiot if you haven't figured out where they are by now..."
Grodus laughed. "Are you kidding?! This island is huge! It's not like they're staying in the room right next to us, is it?"
Doopliss said nothing.

Grodus sighed. "OK Doopliss, what must I do to get this information out of you? Should I perhaps use force?"
Grodus motioned towards Bowser, who held a sharp claw up to Doopliss's throat.
Doopliss remained unafraid. "I'd rather die than tell you where they are..."
Grodus's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Hmm... Well Doopliss, I must admit, I'm shocked! When we first met, you seemed like the cowardly type to me. But now... You're willing to give your life for the safety of a group of people that beat you nearly to death? Why is that? Is there perhaps someone in their group that you have ties with?"
Doopliss again remained silent, but his eyes began to shift nervously. Grodus snickered lightly.

Doopliss then grunted. "Tell me why you need them, and I'll think about telling you where you can find them..."
Grodus looked up at him suspiciously. "...Do you promise?"
"Yes," Doopliss said.
Grodus had to think about it for a minute or two, but eventually nodded. "Very well then. It is our plan to allow Bowser to kidnap Peach so that my mainframe computer, TEC, will be forced to fulfill my requests of rebuilding my moon base. Therefore, I will have another chance at world domination..."
Doopliss raised an eyebrow. "Why would your computer care if Peach was kidnaped?"
Grodus chuckled. "Why else? He's in love with her! Of course, I wouldn't expect someone like you to know anything about love..."

He then looked up at Doopliss. "...Do you?"
Doopliss again remained silent. Grodus had begun to realize that when Doopliss said nothing, it's because he was hiding something.

"Ah yes, I forgot the little bonus that goes along with this plan!" Grodus laughed. "I also plan to kill Vivian for betraying me and destroying the Shadow Queen!"
Once he heard that, Doopliss gasped in shock. Not a second later, his eyes narrowed menacingly, filled with hate. Grodus noticed the crazed look in Doopliss's eyes.

Grodus returned the stare with one of suspicion. "Does that trouble you, Doopliss?"
Doopliss quickly tried to recover. "Umm... what do you mean?"Grodus moved in closer. "Does it trouble you that I plan to... kill Vivian with hideous cruelty? Maybe beat her to death with something blunt... Maybe cut off her limbs one by one... Maybe drown her in a pool of her own blood spilt from her throat...? Oh, there are many ways!"
With each suggestion, Doopliss's eyes became increasingly angry. He hated himself for it, but he couldn't hide it.
Grodus laughed. "Well now, you wouldn't want anything happening to your... dear little Vivian, now would you?"
Bowser and Crump laughed. Doopliss's firm gaze didn't shift. "What are you gonna do to her...?"
"Oh, well... if you just tell me where they are," Grodus reasoned, "Nothing has to. Are you willing to risk the life of your little girlfriend? If you tell us, I'll let you go and leave Vivian unharmed. If you don't... I'll kill her - right before your very eyes!"
Doopliss didn't know what to do. Should he tell them where Vivian was? Could he really trust Grodus? Would he really spare her if he told? Oh, what should he do?!

Doopliss thought over the issue for a long time. Grodus seemed quite patient in his waiting for a response.
"The princess will be kidnaped either way?" Doopliss asked.
"Yeah," said Bowser, pressing Doopliss's shoulder harder against the wall. "Princess Peach is mine no matter what!"
"And you say if I tell you where they are, you'll leave Vivian alone?"
"Yup," said Crump. "But if you don't, we kill her right in front of you! Buh huh!"
"Well...?" asked Grodus.

Doopliss wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't say yes, but he was too afraid to say no...
He could fight back by transforming into something... but he could only take forms that were the same size or smaller than he was. Even turning into Flurrie was really stretching his limits. No matter what he could turn into, it'd be no match for all three of them...
And plus, something about the whole situation had just made him so... weak. Thinking about Vivian in danger... It didn't make him stronger. It just made him lose his will to fight. Was he really that weak a person?

Doopliss finally looked at Grodus seriously. "I ain't tellin' you nothin'..."
Grodus stared at Doopliss for a long time, curious and somewhat annoyed.
But eventually, he just began to laugh. A deep, maniacal laugh. "Very well then Doopliss. If that's how you want it, then so be it. Bowser! Crump! Show our guest out the door, and triple your efforts of searching for Peach and Vivian! Doopliss, we'll be keeping out eye on you..."
And with that, Bowser and Crump carried Doopliss to the door, opened it, and threw him roughly out into the hall, slamming the door behind him.
A second later, the door opened up again, and out ran Crump. "Doh, yeah! I gotta go out and look for Peach and Vivian! Don't worry Doopliss! We'll take goood care of your girlfriend! Buh! Buh! BUH HUH HUH!!" And with that, he ran down the hall laughing like a fool.

Doopliss sat on the hallway floor. He sighed heavily. What had he just done?
He couldn't just abandon the plans he had with Vivian that night, yet he couldn't just let Vivian and them wander around clueless while Grodus, Bowser and Crump were hunting them down.
Maybe if he could somehow squeeze that detail in while he was working on his plan to win Vivian?
That idea sounded completely ridiculous, but he really wasn't sure what else to do...

Doopliss was then startled by the sound of many voices coming down the hall towards him. Thinking it might be Mario and his crew, he quickly sat up and leapt for the door to Room 12. He opened it up, dashed in, and quickly slammed the door behind them just as they rounded the corner.
Indeed, it was Mario's crew. He recognized their voices. Thank goodness they came in the opposite direction Crump had run out.
He would warn Vivian that night. Somehow...


All seven of Mario's partners waltzed into Room 13. Mario and Peach had gone to the Payless just down the road to get Mario a new pair of Boots (preferably Ultra Boots... and preferably on sale ). They'd left the Rainbow Relics, the Crystal Ball, and the Map in the care of Mario's friends, with hopes that maybe the new Rainbow Relic they'd gotten from Bansha's tomb might add a new symbol to the Map, and a new verse to The Poem, too.

Vivian was holding the new Rainbow Relic in her hands. It was a shiny green pair of feet. Kind of odd, indeed, but the stone it was made of was stunningly gorgeous.
She looked around at everyone else. "Hey guys? I don't think Mario officially did the whole 'Yay! I got a new Rainbow Relic' thingy yet..."
Verdugo scratched his chin, then opened his eyes wide. "Oh yeah, you're right! I guess we should do it for him then, eh? I mean, how often is it just the seven of us? Never, that's how often! We should make this moment special!"
"Yeah!" They all exclaimed.
Everyone gathered around Vivian as she held the Rainbow Relic high over her head...

You got the Green Rainbow Relic! Also known as the Feet of Strength!

"...Feet of Strength?" Koops asked. "Heh, kind of a funny name!"
"Well, I guess we now know where the term 'feat of strength' probably comes from..." Goombella thought.
Flurrie, who'd been holding the Map, suddenly gasped. "Oh dear me! I think it's happening again!"
Everyone looked at her as the Map levitated from her hands and into the air.
Ms Mowz shrieked a little too, for she'd been holding the Crystal Ball. It, too, began to levitate with The Map.
The two objects did their odd little dance...
And the Crystal Ball then shot it's black wisps at the Map, imprinting a new symbol on the front and a new poem verse on the back.
Both objects then settled down on the bed.

Bobbery walked over slowly and hopped up on the bed to examine the Map. "Hmm... looks like the next Rainbow Relic is... Oh goodness! It's right here in town!"
Everyone gasped an ran over, curious about the new symbol. "See?" Bobbery exclaimed, jumping on the bed. "It's right there! On the edge of Noah's Wharf! And by the look of it, it looks like a pair of eyes!"
Koops snapped his fingers. "Eyes! that's it! I KNEW there was some really crucial body part that we hadn't come across yet."

Goombella hopped up and down. "OK, we know where the next Relic is, so let's check out the poem!"
Despite how dark and scary The Poem was, they knew that reading the next verse was inevitable. They promptly flipped the paper over, and Bobbery began to read...

Protector of the Sky
Grounded by the eye
Of the ever-growing beast
Which the light is its feast...

Born from dark hearts
We seize the Gods' Arts
We live to see die

The Protector of the Sky...

Crooks, rogues and thieves
Plague a town by the sea,
This dark and shadowed war,
A baby girl, it bore...

A land of toadstools
Where an empire rules,
And where kings kill for joy
And spawn an infant boy...

When a gent loves a lass
Overseas they may pass
And when together in love,
May the world drown in blood...

The Gods' Arts, we take,
The God's Arts, we reshape,
So when in their post again,
They shall bring the world's end...

Silence.
There was always that dreadful silence following the recital of a new poem verse.

"So... The God's Arts are the Rainbow Relics, right?" Koops asked.
"Yeah, that's what Reinus said..." Vivian thought.
"So according to the wording," Ms Mowz said deeply, "Whatever 'dark 'beings' this poem refers to somehow reshaped the Relics so that when they're returned to their post, they would... bring the world's end? But that makes no sense!"
"Yeah! What gives!?" Verdugo shouted. "The Rainbow Relics are supposed to be saving the world, not ending it! I think you read it wrong, Bobbery! Lemme see!"

As Verdugo jumped up onto the bed and tried to push a fuming Bobbery out of the way, Goombella got that feeling again...
Lots of shoes. Lots and lots of shoes...
A steel ladder...
And Mario!
"OH NO! MARIO!!" she shouted. So loud it ended all discussion in the room.
"What is it, Goombella dear?" Flurrie asked.
Goombella looked at them all with wide eyes, and in a horrifying tone, whispered,
"...'Tomic Wedgie..."

Koops and Verdugo looked at one another in total fright. "INTERVENTION!!"
And with that, they ran at about Mach 6 out of the room. The others, all flipping out as well, grabbed their important things and ran out after them. Within seconds, they were all out of that damn hotel and running their asses off to the Payless store!
The door to Room 12 then slowly opened, and Bowser peeked his head out. "What the hell? Pfft... Got some total lunatics stayin' in our hotel. Ugh..." And with that, he closed the door.


Goombella was the first to burst into the Payless store. Koops and Verdugo, knowing first-hand how serious the situation was, ran in soon after.
"Omigosh, where is he?!" Goombella shouted, disrupting the silence of the store. "Everyone, look for him! He doesn't have much time!"
"On it!" shouted Koops and Verdugo, who began to scan the aisles for Mario. Everyone in the store looked at these three like they were total loons, and they all let out an audible 'WTF' when about four more weirdos came running in and shouting about wedgies. o0

In their frantic search for Mario, everyone finally heard Flurrie call out. "Mario! THERE you are!"
Upon hearing this, everyone in the party ran towards the sound of her voice, Goombella leading the pack. When they reached the appropriate aisle, Flurrie pointed at Mario.
He was up on top of a tall steel ladder, reaching for a pair of shoes on the top shelf. He looked down at all of them and smiled meekly. "Umm... Hey guys. I, uhh... I found a pair of Ultra Boots on sale. It's on the top shelf here, so I was just, uhh... using this ladder..."

Peach, who was standing at the foot of the ladder, noticed anxiety in all of their eyes. "Is something wrong?" she asked.
Flurrie turned to Goombella. "Well Goombella, it doesn't appear as though Mario's in any danger of getting an Atomic Wedgie..."
Everyone else seemed to agree. Mario just laughed. "Atomic Wedgie? Is that what this is all about? Well then, I guess if I'm next, I'd best just be really careful from now on!"
But Goombella was still shaking badly. "No, you don't understand..." she quivered. "I saw your vision, Mario... and you're Atomic Wedgie was somehow related to... a steel ladder!"

Everyone gasped and looked up at Mario, who suddenly stiffened and looked down the ladder he was standing on...
Each rung was made of solid iron, which jutted out each side of the ladder. Some even looked rather bent, as though from overuse. They certainly looked like viable hooks for giving someone a wedgie...

Mario closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and gripped the ladder. "OK..." he said softly. "I'm just gonna go down veeery carefully, rung by rung. I'll be at the bottom in no time, with nothing to worry about..."
Mario reached for the Ultra Boots and held them over Peach. "Catch!" he ordered, dropping them.
Peach caught the shoes, then looked up at Mario. "Careful, Mario. Atomic Wedgies are NOT fun..."
Mario looked down at Verdugo and Koops, who shook their heads in agreement.

With that, Mario began to descend. Carefully and methodically, he stepped down one rung.
OK, good so far...
Gripping tightly, he peeked down at his foot so he could position it on the next one down.
Success! Two rungs down and about... Five to go!
Mario glanced at the bent, twisted edges sticking out of the sides of the ladder. He could just feel them tugging on his undergarments. Shuddering, he forced his next foot down.
However, his eyes were so focused on the edges that he wasn't watching where his foot was going.
He'd barely touched his toes on the next rung.
Thinking he was secure, he lifted his other foot...
And the one below slipped!

Mario yelped and stumbled down several inches. Everyone screamed and gasped, but Mario managed to stop himself. He sighed in relief.
However, his mishap threw Flurrie in such a fit she completely lost it. "Don't worry Mario, dearie! I'll protect you!"
She began to fly straight at him like a madwoman. When Mario saw her coming at him with her arms outstretched, he screamed. "No, Flurrie! Get away! GET AWAY!!"Mario didn't know what Flurrie planned on doing with her arms outstretched and her knockers zooming at his face. But in all truth, he didn't want to know!
He decided to go with the alternative option. "AAAAGGGHHHH!!" he cried, as he jumped over the side of the ladder, desperate to jump as far away from Flurrie as possible.
However, the slick metal was slippery, and he ended up falling short. He fell right down the side of the ladder...
Snag!
RRRRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP!!

Mario's denim overalls snagged on one of the jagged rung outlets. His poor happy family was not so happy anymore!
"MAMA MIIIIIA! HEEELP!" Mario screamed.
"TOMIC WEDGIE!!" shouted Goombella, basically signaling everyone to get over and help!
Flurrie, in her mad dash to help Mario, ended up slamming the ladder, causing it to shake like crazy, which in turn, caused Mario to swing. Holy crap, each swing was agony to his balls!

While everyone else was trying to pull Mario down, Peach made a brave attempt to climb the ladder and help from up there. When she reached the rung that Mario's pants had been caught on, she tried to pry them loose, but she couldn't with her own hands. "Damn, I shoulda known that wouldn't work!" she cursed.
Peach then noticed this particular rung wasn't screwed in very tightly...
Raising her foot, Peach stored all her energy in it and stomped hard on it.
It seemed to have been jarred loose a bit!
Feeling confident, Peach began to stomp like mad, hearing the screw jiggle with every stomp. Mario's painful cries gave her to courage to keep going at it...

Finally, Peach gave the rung once last mighty kick...
CLANK!
The rung snapped and fell through the ladder! The edge of it that stuck through the side of the ladder came loose, too, and Mario plopped to the ground in a heap. His eyes were teary, but he seemed relieved...

Peach hopped off the ladder and joined everyone else in their little huddle around Mario, seeing if he was OK. He was. His area hurt like hell, but he was gonna be alright. Struggling to stand up, Mario began to laugh between gasps.
"Whew... Thanks guys. And thank you especially, Peach. And uhh... You too Flurrie, I guess..."
Flurrie looked down and gave a sheepish smile.

That incident being done and over with, the gang began to head out of the store, with Peach holding Mario's new shoes. Mario walked somewhat bowlegged, but otherwise he was just fine...