Here's the next chapter guys, I hope you like it. It's not the best, I know that; but I still am pretty okay with how it turned out. I hope you are too. Review if you do please.

Thanks--- Stephanie

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Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering. --- Ida Scott Taylor

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"Well you see, I made the biggest mistake of my life last night. I pushed away someone I love more than anything in the world, because I was scared. Scared because I was ruining his life, keeping him from doing what he wanted to do, I also am scared because I don't want him to have to deal with me and my problems. And trust me, right now I have so many it's hard to count. I don't want him to miss out on life and have to stay here and take care of me, it just isn't right and I'm not going to let him do that. As much as I love him for wanting to stay here and help me, I want him to be able to do whatever he wants. I told him this, and we fought. I pushed him away and made him leave. I really don't know what came over me except that I was left alone crying with Nathan trying to comfort me. I know that Lucas really wants to help, but I can't apologize now, and besides he's probably happy that he was given the freedom and he didn't have to break my heart by doing it himself. But the truth is, my heart is broken and tomorrow I start treatments, and I don't know if I can do it without him. I'm sorry, so sorry, but I know that he'll never know that." Peyton finished, trying to hold back her tears while she clicked the end button that was recording her podcast.

"Are you ready to go?" Nathan said as he walked into the room.

"Yeah." Peyton said, grabbing a jacket.

This simple act made Nathan cringe. It was a particularly warm day, making records for their 87 degree temperature in October. It had also rained, making it muggy. It wasn't like Peyton was underdressed either; she had on a pair of jeans and a three quarter length sleeved shirt on. Yet he knew she was cold.

"Hey Nate?" Peyton asked as they got outside.

"Yes?" Nate said, opening the car door for her. He wasn't expecting it, seeing as they hadn't talked much since Lucas had left last night.

"Do you think Lucas watches my podcasts?" Peyton sat down in the car, but left her feet facing outwards, Nathan leaned on the door above her.

"Yes, I mean, I even watched them when we were dating; sometimes I still do."

Peyton looked up at him blankly, "What?"

Nate looked away shyly, "Yeah, I mean, I wanted to hear you talk when you wouldn't talk to me. And I wanted to know how you were doing when you couldn't come to me because I was being a jackass."

"Well do you blame me?"

"No, definitely not, I'm sure he wants to know how you are doing, he loves you Peyton. He really loves you. You let it all out on those podcasts, it's good and we get to see how you really are. Are you ready?" Nathan said, he waited for her nod before he closed the door and got into the drivers seat.

Peyton concentrated on the objects flying by the window as Nathan drove to the hospital.

"You know Peyton, as much as you don't want to, maybe you should apologize to Lucas. You really love him and need him right now. And you aren't holding him back from anything, he loves you so much. And I know that it is probably killing him to not be the one driving you to the hospital right now."

Peyton turned to look out the window, hiding the tears that were flooding in her eyes. She turned back to Nathan, "I know Nathan, but how do you apologize for making the biggest mistake of your life to the person you love most in this world."

Nathan who was staring at her, turned away to look at the road ahead of him, "I don't know Peyton, but not trying is almost as bad as giving up, and I know you don't want to do that. I know he'll forgive you in a heartbeat, just to be near you and help you again is all he wants. He loves saving you Peyton, you should let him."

Peyton took in all of his words and let them run through her brain; she was quiet until they got to the hospital, where she knew she wouldn't have time to think about it.

----

"Hey Peyton, I'm going to go back home for awhile and check on my mom and grab a few more things, do you want to come with me or stay here and sleep? I know you had a rough day and tomorrow is going to be another one so if you don't want to you don't have to." Nathan asked, standing at her doorway.

"No, I'll come. I don't think I'll be able to sleep, even if I tried."

Nathan grabbed her sweatshirt and handed it to her as they walked out the door.

The drive to Nathan's house was quite humorous to Peyton as Nathan was singing. He never had the right voice to sing, yet he always did. She was laughing more than she had in the past few weeks and it felt good.

When they walked into Nathan's house, it was quiet. That was rather surprising, usually it was bustling with people from a party or Dan and Deb were fighting.

Nathan sighed, looking around. "I don't think anyone's home. I don't know where my mom would be, maybe she's with Karen."

"Yeah. I'll wait down here for you Nathan. Go get whatever you need."

Peyton sat down in the chair while Nathan went upstairs to his room. It only took him a few minutes before he was downstairs again. As they were walking out, Deb came through the door carrying many bags.

"Oh Nathan. How are you honey? Hi Peyton."

"I'm fine, Mom. I just came to get a few things to bring back to Peyton's house for awhile."
Deb turned to look at Peyton. She looked so tired, and something else. It took Deb a minute to realize, but Peyton looked scared.

"Oh Peyton, I heard. I'm so sorry; if you need anything just let me know." Deb wrapped her arms around Peyton's frail body.

"Thanks Deb. I will."

Nathan noticed the awkward situation and decided to step in, "Well Mom, we should probably be going. Peyton has a long day tomorrow and I thought I'd go shove some food down her throat."

Deb laughed at that, "Alright. Have fun you two; remember, call me if you need anything."

"We will mom." Nathan grabbed his stuff and gave his mom a hug, before leading Peyton outside.

"So where do you want to go to eat?" Nathan asked as they climbed into his car.

"I don't care, I'm not really hungry."

"Let's go to Karen's then." Peyton nodded her agreement, and Nathan peeled out of his driveway.

"Jeez Nathan, I'd actually like to try to get the chance to live. Not get hit by another car." Peyton tried to joke, but it came out serious. The uncomfortable silence came once again.

"I was just joking Nathan. It's okay. Really."

Nathan nodded, but parked in front of the café. Both of them got out of the car and headed inside. The minute they walked in Karen was in front of them, asking questions. Peyton stared at her in shock, not hearing anything she had said, "I'm sorry Karen, I didn't catch any of that."

Karen laughed, "How are you?"

"I've been trying to ignore it. I don't really want to think about it."

"I'll be right back Peyton." Nathan said.

Karen nodded and ushered Peyton over to a table. "I have to be here tomorrow afternoon to look after the café, so Keith is going to go with Lucas to the hospital. I hope that's okay." She added, noticing Peyton's face.

"No, of course. It's just, I yelled at Lucas last night. I don't think he's going to come tomorrow, and I don't blame him. I didn't mean to, I was just upset, and… I don't want to hold him back Karen, he needs to be a teenager, even if I can't."

Karen reached out and grabbed Peyton's hand, "Listen Peyton, I'm sure he wants to be there. He wants to be with you, he loves you. He might not tell me everything, me being his mom and everything, but I know that. I see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. Just give him the chance to help, that's all he wants."

Peyton looked at Karen with tears in her eyes, "I know Karen, I know. I'm trying."

Nathan walked up and Peyton scooted over in the booth, allowing him to sit down.

"Did you guys want something to eat?" Karen said quickly, changing the subject. Peyton wiped her eyes.

Nathan rattled off his order; a double cheeseburger with fries a coke and a side of onion rings, and then Peyton ordered a glass of water and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Karen left to put in their order.

"I went to see Haley."

"How did that go?" Peyton said, turning to look at his face and noticing the disappointment on it.

"Not so well, I told Haley I wouldn't be around as much. She's mad at me, but I didn't tell her Peyton. It's not my place and I'm not sure if you wanted her to know. I just had to tell her that I wouldn't be home as much because I would be at your house."

"I hope you didn't put it like that. I'll go Nathan, I'll explain to her. She deserves to know, we are friends." Peyton said pushing Nathan out of the booth to get out. She tried walking away, but Nathan pulled her back.

"Peyton, if you don't want to tell her, you don't have to. We'll get through it, we always do."

Peyton nodded, "Its okay."

She walked out and looked for Haley, who was on her break. She found her sitting on the curb, and sat down next to her.

Haley looked spitefully at her, "You have Lucas, Peyton, that wasn't enough. Now you need Nathan too?"

She didn't wait for Peyton to say anything, she just continued, "God Peyton, we were just getting better you know? And now he says he's going to stay at your house for awhile. Why couldn't you leave us alone? Why couldn't you just be happy with Luke?"

"Haley, he still loves you, and Nathan staying at my house has nothing to do with a relationship or anything like that."

"Right, this is where you start lying to me. Save it Peyton, I don't want to hear it." Haley said, starting to stand up. Peyton grabbed her arm, pulling her back down.

"Haley. I'm sick, that's why Nathan is staying with me. My dad isn't coming home; Nathan's going to take care of me while I have treatments."

Haley stared at her in shock, "What do you mean?"

"I have leukemia Haley, I just found out two days ago; I have to have chemo. Nathan was, is, staying with me to help me. If you don't want him to, it's okay."

"Peyton, I'm so sorry. I was just mad. I didn't mean it; I just thought Nathan was giving up on us. I didn't know he was helping you." Haley said tearfully, pulling Peyton into a hug.

"It's okay Haley, I understand. I would have been mad too. You and Nathan are just getting back to how it was and I didn't mean to ruin that. He didn't tell you because I didn't want him to, it was my place to tell the people I wanted to. I'm sorry I upset you."

"You didn't. I'm so sorry."

Haley continued to hug Peyton for a minute before letting go and smiling, "I need to go apologize to Nathan. I really let him have it."

Haley turned around at the door, "Aren't you coming in?"

"Actually, I think I'm going to stay out here for a bit."

"Okay."

Peyton took a seat on the curb and put her head in her hands.

"At least I can tell someone the truth." Peyton whispered, and then got up and went inside.

She sat down in the booth that now held Nathan and Haley, and slowly picked at her sandwich.

Nathan noticed that she really wasn't going to eat so he made an excuse for them to leave. "We should probably get home Haley. We have school in the morning and then she has treatments. It's going to be a long day and she needs rest."

"Okay, well I'll see you guys tomorrow at school then." Haley got up and began taking their plates off the table.

----

"Nathan, you get your ass out of bed, now!" Peyton said, leaning over him.

"Why?" Nathan said groggily, looking around.

"We have to go to school." Peyton said half cheerfully.

Nathan groaned, "Peyton, can't you just stay home today and I'll say I had to help you?"

"No, it's my last day until who knows when, I want to go."

Nathan groaned again, but got up nevertheless. "Let me get dressed."

He grabbed the closest thing on the floor and pulled them on.

"Let's go." He said, grabbing his car keys and wallet off the nightstand. "I need to pick up Haley, if that's okay."

"No, that's fine."

It only took a minute to drive to the apartment, and Haley was waiting.

"Hi." Haley said as she got into the car.

"Hi Haley, sorry it took so long but it took me forever to get your husband out of bed this morning."

Haley laughed, "I know. He's quite the hassle in the morning."

"When is your next game?" Peyton said as they began driving to school.

"Tomorrow night. We play against Creek. It'll be a good game."

"I wish I could be there to cheer for you guys."

"I know you do Peyton, maybe you could listen to Mouth on the radio. Then at least you know what is happening. I don't even like the fact that I have to leave you there by yourself, I'd stay with you if I knew you'd let me." Nathan said.

"No way, you are not missing the game because of me." Peyton said sternly, letting him know that arguing wasn't going to work.

"I'd stay, but I have to cheer." Haley said.

"Well maybe I can get Karen to come over and stay with you."

"Nathan, I'll be fine. It's only a couple of hours."
Nathan sighed, "I don't know."

They pulled into the school, "If you want to leave, just let me know. I'll take you home. And if you don't feel good, make sure you find Haley or me. Okay?"
Peyton groaned, "Nathan, I'm fine. I think I can last a day at school, alright?"

They all walked in and Haley and Peyton walked to their first hour together, sitting down just as the bell rang.

----

"I am so ready to be out of this place." Peyton said to Nathan as they began walking out to the car.

"You're lucky." Nathan said.

"Nah, I'd take this any day over what I'm going to be doing."

"Yeah, I'm sorry." Nathan said, embarrassed.

"It's okay." Peyton said, "We should probably be going though."

Nathan nodded, "Are you nervous, because I'm nervous for you."

"I wouldn't say nervous, just scared. I mean, Nathan, what if it doesn't work? What if I do all of this just to live and it doesn't help, and I die anyways. That is months of being sick and not being able to see everyone, just to die. I don't know if it's worth it."

Nathan grabbed her hand, "It's going to be okay. You're not going to die. You'll get through this. We just have to take it one step at a time, one day at a time."

Peyton nodded and focused her stare out the window. With Tree Hill being so small it only took them about ten minutes to get to the hospital. As they checked in the nurse directed them to a room that had a large chair in it and everything was very sterile looking. As they walked in Peyton stopped, making Nathan run into the back of her, "Peyt, what…? He trailed off; he could see what Peyton was staring at. There in the chair sat Lucas.

"What are you doing here?"

Lucas stood up and walked closer to Peyton, "Did you think I wouldn't come? Peyton I love you, I want to be there. I'm not going to let you push me away, especially now."

"I love you too. I'm sorry, I was just upset. I didn't mean to act like that."

Peyton leaned her small body against Lucas' as he wrapped his arms around her. She let the tears that she had been holding back from being scared, fall onto his shirt.

They all heard a small cough, and turned to see Dr. Robinson and Keith standing in the doorway.

"Hi, are you ready to get started?" Dr. Robinson asked.

Peyton nodded, apprehensively. "Okay then. Just take a seat here in this chair."

He quickly took all of her vitals, as he listened to her heart race; he knew she was nervous. "Its okay, it's not going to hurt. I'm going to insert a tube into your arm and the medicine will slowly run into your arm. I'm going to make it slower for today, so you'll have to sit here for about two hours. As long as you don't mind needles, it won't hurt; you'll only feel a small prick."

"Can they stay in here?" Peyton said, motioning to Lucas, Nathan, and Keith.

"Of course, they are going to entertain you for the two hours. I will come in periodically to check on you. When you leave, you will be very tired and sick. I suggest you go right to bed. I would also limit the number of people you see, you are going to be very susceptible to small viruses and the common cold or flu could kill you. You have to be careful. Mr. Scott, don't let anyone who has even a slight cough in to see her. I would limit it to you, the boys, and Karen; maybe if there is someone else. But that should be it, she isn't going to be up to a lot of visits from people and she needs to be calm and not get excited, it will only make the nausea and headaches worse. "

Keith nodded, "Alright, I'll make sure."

Dr. Robinson grabbed a needle and began inserting it into her arm, and then he inserted the tube. Lucas moved closer and grabbed Peyton's other hand. She had her head turned away from Dr. Robinson and had her eyes clenched closed.

"That's it." He said, "I'll be back in about twenty minutes to check on you and make sure everything is going right, okay?"

He walked out quietly and they all grabbed chairs and sat them around Peyton. Nathan got up and turned the television on and began switching the channels, finally deciding on sports center.

Lucas continued to hold her hand, while all three men were watching sports center intently. Peyton quickly became bored and slowly she allowed herself to fall asleep.