Disclaimer: I don't own Rick and Morty. I wish there was a spin off episode though of Rica and Moriah. Trigger warnings: Contains verbal abuse, mentions of suicide.
Rick had a freaking disgusting headache. Most likely the result of a week long bender with Unity, meeting with whatever adventure he'd done with Morty last night.
What had he done last night?
Something to do with making Morty smarter, so that he could pass his math class and the both of them could go on more adventures...
Oh, shit. Oh, Morty.
Rick opened his eyes to a scene from one of his own personal nightmares. Except here Morty was the one to kill his entire family, not Rick.
Well. In the end it had been Rick that ended Morty.
His facade flawless, Rick let his eyes roam the carnage laid out before him. Beth and Summer at the table, a macabre continuation of everyday. Jerry lying all over the counter top, a mess and not.. a mess.
His eyes moved to Morty last; Morty laying there with his skull cracked open. It had been pretty close. If it had been Rick and not Morty that had gotten a hold of his laser gun...
They had even lost consciousness at most likely the same time, because Rick had even remembered being the one to black out first.
Life and death. Up to chance, to the whims of crazy and chaos. Rick and Morty, hundred years.
Lame.
Wasn't even a working Haiku..
"...What did you do to me, Morty?" No one was there to see him break, at least.
"Morty. I'm sorry, but I need to ask you this. Can you tell me how did you get here?" Rick J-19-Z-7 immediately became flustered. "What I mean is- Do you need help with anything in particular, Morty? And how did you know where to find me? Because I'm sure you're not a Morty I've met before."
"Uh- A Rick I didn't really know pointed me in this direction," Morty wrung his hands. Thinking about that crazy dimension made Morty feel crazy. "He- He told me to play nice before kicking me into this dimension. Haha?" Morty laughed, but it wasn't really funny. Morty had realized by now what that Rick had meant when he'd said that.
"Oh. It must've been him then." Rick was put-off.
"Um.. Huh?" Morty was getting kind of nervous.
"Oh, no one. Just another bat-shit crazy version of me." Rick J-19-Z-7 was actually acting vehemently? Morty needed to change the conversation now.
"Actual- Actually I do- I do need your help." Rick brightened at Morty's words. "You see I'm kind of lost- I took my Rick's portal gun, and got lost with it." For some reason Morty didn't feel stupid when he told the truth to Rick J-19-Z-7. He felt- He felt okay.
"Here Morty give me your portal gun," and without hesitance Morty did just that. "Walk with me, Morty."
Rick brought the gun to his work table. "I'm going to show you how to operate the history on this thing, Morty, and then I'm going to teach you the basics."
And for the first time in forever, Morty felt content. In another universe, somewhere far, far away from his own grandpa; Morty was creating bonds with his grandpa Rick. Having some nice, safe fun that didn't endanger the lives of everyone around them. Morty didn't even mind that Rick J-19-Z-7 had started up a mild rant.
"More Ricks should teach their Mortys on how to work these things, really. What if there's an emergency?"
"Morty, are you listening? Am I being too boring? Should I spice up my explanation?" Rick was ready to bring out some classroom supplies, and he knew there were some film props lying around here too. From that time the Jerry of this dimension came to visit.
"No, I'm good. I mean- Uh- Here if you flip this here, it activates the-" Morty couldn't hide the small smile that was forming on his face from Rick. He was actually learning something from Rick, and for once it wasn't laced in sarcasm. Rick wasn't being sardonic; he was being.. grandfatherly. Morty would even bet that he could repeat this same lesson in verbatim later.
"Morty!" Jerry woke up on the lawn in front of his house. He was just sitting there. The fire still rampant, and the sounds of a fire siren could be heard in the distance.
"Wo-hic, Wow! The first thing you say after waking up is your teenage son's name? What a-burrpp- What a creep, Jerry."
Jerry looked to his right at Rick, sighed, and went back to looking at the grass. He was thinking about plucking at the grass until his family home burned down.
"I wonder if I really saw Morty back there?" Jerry hadn't even realized those words had left his lips until Rick answered.
"You dumb-ass piece of shit. Rationalize that shit, Jerry, I know you can do it. I'm here aren't I?"
Rick took one look at Jerry's unresponsive, hunched over form, and sighed.
"That back there was a simple hallucination, Jerry. A fu-hiigggh-ment of your imagination, just like me."
Jerry's hallucination of Rick took out a flask and drank out of it.
"Than how am I still alive?"
"To answer your simple question, Jerry, what you saw back there was a simple manifestation or- or the personification of you being a- a chicken."
"You couldn't shake it, so you ba-buurp- baked it."
Jerry hugged his legs. "Just leave me alone, Rick."
"No can do, Jerry, no can do. I can't- I literally can't do that."
"I'm here to stay, Jerry. A crazy hallucination that isn't even Rick's ghost or anything. Nah-uh. Just you being crazy. A continuation of your usual self-depreciating self..."
"Why couldn't it have been anyone else?" Jerry couldn't help, but moan. He was becoming even more distraught and whiny.
"Wh-waarurrggh- Why? Isn't it obvious, Jerry? It's because you hate yourself. The only reason Beth's not the one here to make you feel horrid about yourself- It's because you wouldn't be able to shake it, Jerry. Your tiny as shit mind wouldn't be able to make up a reason why Beth o-oouuhrrruga- offed herself, and didn't take you with her-"
There was a painful silence where Rick just stared at him. Jerry didn't even bother looking Rick in the eye, he knew what was coming. Be- Because this was what has been on his mind ever since-
"That's right I said it! No matter what the police ruled it as. It wasn't an accident, Jerry! You and I both know that it was a murder-suicide. And you let her do it, Jerry! You could have stopped it from happening! But you didn't.. Because. You. Are. Worthless!"
"The kids might have had complete trust in their mother, Jerry, but no one would have ever believed you could have saved or stopped her. That's what it all comes down to. You could have saved them, Jerry! With your- With your... crouching moron, hidden badass-ery or something."
It was right here that Rick stopped, and drunkenly tried reading the label on his bottle of imaginary alcohol. "Fuck! What's in this shit? Oh, wait. It's not my fault that I sound dumb as shit, it's your fault! Imagine me more so-hic-sophisticated, Jerry! I sound like an idiot... Now where was I going with this long ass monologue? Oh, yea.."
"But you failed them! You failed Summer and Morty, Jerry! You failed Beth! And you ultimately failed yourself! You're a failure, Jerry! And that's all you'll ever be! A Loser! With a capital L, motherfucker!" The hallucination of Rick finished off the whole bottle of hard liqueur and fell blacked out drunk right next to Jerry on the ground.
Jerry laid down and closed his eyes. This was the first time he'd been this close physically to Rick, and none of this was even reall. Maybe he should just run into the house and end it all right now... Instead, Jerry stargazed to the sound of Rick's snores.
But before Rick started snoring, he said something. And if anyone else could hear the soft whispering; they would hear Rick say, "And you failed me, Jerry. You failed me too.."
"You know what? You should be the one to do it, Morty."
"Wha- But- Shouldn't you do it?"
"Probably, Morty.. But! I know just how much this matters to you, and that's all that really matters. So, here, Morty. You do it."
"You're right, Rick. I can do it, probably."
"Probably." Rick had a goofy smile.
A few minutes of Morty twiddling with himself went by before he became sure of what he was doing.
"Okay. I think I got this. And.." Morty added a little flourish to the last push of the button. "Awa~y we go~."
A portal appeared, and Morty approached it, a little apprehensive. Morty stuck his head in, and straight up came back out.
"I don't think this is the right one, Rick. All I- All I see are bunch of dudes with red wigs on."
"Are you sure, Morty? I mean.. Isn't this your dimension?" Rick scratched his head. "I don't know, Morty. Give me the portal gun, and I can look it over while you take another look through the portal."
"Okay, here." Morty handed Rick the gun in his hands. "Let me- Just let me take another look, then."
A second, and then, "Oh my god!"
"What!? What is it, Morty!? Are you okay!?"
"It's- It's! Uggh- I think I'm gonna.. It's Unity, and a bunch of guys in red wigs doing-! Um!"
"What is it?"
"Oh, god.. I think they're having an orgy."
"Oh my god, Morty! This is bad-"
"Oh, Rick. Oh, god. What are we going to do?"
"I need you to- This is important, Morty, so listen up."
"What is it? What is it, Rick?"
"Did you see me there, Morty? Actually never mind, don't answer that. Do you think they'll let me join them, Morty!? You gotta- You gottta go back and ask them for me."
"Aww, jeez. Rick, I don't know.."
"No.. You're right Morty.. I shouldn't have asked you to do something like that, Morty. I'll just- I'll just ask them myself."
"What- Rick. What about- What about helping me, Rick?"
"It's all okay, Morty. I already figured it out. You- You had entered these numbers all switched around. That's Dimension C-371, and not your Dimension C-317. An easy mistake really- You just need to fix that up and you'll be ready to go."
"Ah! I almost forgot this earlier. Jiggle that, and do this. If you do it just so, than it'll create a stable enough portal that even a car can fit through it easily enough."
"A car- Oh, crap! Aw jeez... Rick!" Morty exclaimed, like a chicken without it's head. "I forgot the Ship in another dimension! Rick is going to kill me!"
"I need to go back! I need to get the car! Rick was even teaching me how to drive it, too!" Morty was freaking out! Just short of hyperventilation really.
"Calm down, Morty, calm down!" Rick wasn't being very calming. Eric Stoltz Mask Morty sighed.
"You- You need to take the portal gun, Morty! You need to take it, ana- and look at the history, Morty!"
"Aaw, jeez- Rick! Do you know what's on Rick's history? It's some crazy stuff! What if I do it wrong, Rick? I don't want to see that stuff again.."
"Don't ma- mind that, Morty! Just do it right than, Morty! You can do it! I know you can do it, Morty! Now go! Go, Morty, go!"
"Oh, jeez. I think I'm doing it wrong, Rick.." Morty fiddled with the history of the portal gun, and a second later it fizzled like a plasma globe. "Oh, hey.. There it is. It's Dimension H-311.." A portal opened up, but when Morty stepped through it; it didn't close in on itself.
When a few minutes passed by and nothing happened; it was evident that it would take Morty awhile to find the Ship. So they just stood there on Rick's lawn, left there to stare at one another. It was another couple of minutes before someone spoke up, and it was Krombopulos Michael that did, the other two shared a comfortable silence.
"So Rick from this dimension.. Can I get a portal home? I'm kind of late for something."
"Hmm. You're from the same dimension as Morty right? Dimension.. C-317?"
"Umm.. Yeah," Krombopulos scratched his cheek. "That's the one, maybe."
"Here," Rick shot open a portal, and K-Michael hoped it was the last one he'll ever see for awhile.
"Oh, and don't worry about the time. Differing realities usually have differentiating passages of time, and the time in Dimension C-317 goes a lot slower than the other ones you went through. So its probably only been... an hour?"
That was just too much to process right now. He nodded. Without saying anything else K-Michael stepped through.
Looking at the world around him, Krombopulos sighed. At least he wasn't in an apocalyptic world. "How do you get off-world on this planet?" He started whistling as he strolled down the streets of a world that hadn't even discovered faster than light space travel yet.
Morty couldn't remember where he was or even what time it was. He didn't even know why. Why did this have to happen to him? To his family?
Why was he even here?
He wasn't the one to kill his family! It was Rick! It was all Rick! It was all his fault...
If he didn't know any better, he'd be begging someone, anyone to save him from this place. But he knew.. No one was ever going to come save him.
Never again.
A/N: What do you guys think of Captain Obvious? Jk that's not going to be Morty's hero name.
