"Do you not think, sir, that people will notice if you are talking to yourself?"
"Please, Mother does it all the time. And what people? When's the last time Howard let me leave this hell hole?" Tony snarked right back as he slipped the small metal disk into his ear. It was like a Bluetooth, but smaller and less noticeable. "There, what do you think?" He asked, turning the webcam on his computer to look at him.
"Not noticeable at all, sir."
Tony narrowed his eyes at the camera lens.
"And that was not sarcasm." Jarvis amended dutifully.
He huffed. "Hell if I know how you got sarcasm at all." He muttered to himself as he pushed the camera back into place and went back to typing away at the new additions to Jarvis' code he was working. The core of it he'd started when he was eight, and now, four years later, he was having difficulty figuring out just what the hell he'd meant by half of it. His skills were infinitely better now, but the little flaws that made Jarvis the AI he was were rather creative stumbles of eight-year-old fingers. He could pick them out as he scanned through the code, and each one made him laugh a little.
Some would say it looked like Swiss cheese with all the glaring errors. However, the code worked and Jarvis existed, flaws and all (he would say it was miraculous that it functioned at all, if he believed that sort of thing). The flaws gave the AI things like sarcasm, and a virus-like ability to jump from computer to computer and hack into wifi at will.
And oh, how he had a will of his own. If he wasn't programmed to protect and aid his creator, Tony was 100% sure the two of them would never stop fighting long enough to get anything done.
Tony knew the flaws in Jarvis' code like he knew the periodic table (i.e, memorized since he was two) and he treasured them. If Jarvis caught a virus and died, Tony was absolutely sure he could recreate his core down to the last ones and zeros, and rebuild from there.
Now, he worked on making the AI bigger, more powerful. The earpieces were just the last of his inventions—ensuring that he could hear Jarvis, but his father couldn't. He wasn't sure why, but he had this vague feeling of dread when he thought about Howard meeting Jarvis. Over the years, Howard had looked less and less bored with the things Tony built and more and more angry.
It was actually Jarvis (since Tony had given him access to the public library's entire online database, including a whole bunch of psychology journals) who suggested that the elder Stark felt threatened. The fact his son was quickly overtaking him in not only skill, but also in creativity, surely did not sit well with a man who had little else in life but wealth and brains. Of course he had a family, but Tony knew very well by now that, to Howard, his wife and son meant about as much as one of those shiny cars in his garage downstairs. Breakable, and replaceable.
The world's first AI was something that Tony knew Howard had tried and failed to succeed in creating. Of course a lot of his inventions had some sort of intelligence, but not one of them had the things Jarvis did, like creativity, emotion, personal will, empathy, preferences, problem-solving skills, and rational thought that could be marred by onslaught of feelings, like when he first "woke up" three years ago and was rendered just as speechless as Tony was for creator and invention to meet each other.
And the sarcasm, don't forget the bloody sarcasm. The sass level was unbelievable, actually. Tony had to scramble just to keep up, and he quickly found himself learning a level of confidence in himself with this new friend by his side. Exhibit A being the fact he was hiding something from his father—a brand new and simultaneously terrifying concept.
He just… was afraid that Howard might hurt Jarvis. Jarvis was supposedly incorporeal, but he could feel pain if someone got into his code and pressed the wrong buttons, and Howard was really smart. Add determined and insulted (and jealous maybe?) into the equation and Tony was afraid. For himself and his best friend.
Better to just let Howard believe he'd inherited his mother's insanity should he ever be caught talking to the AI then ever let the two meet.
It hadn't been a problem for the past 3 years since the AI's "birth" because Jarvis had only had a voice for the past two and had been relatively shy and new for the couple months after that, just like a toddler. Then he'd gotten his hooks into the internet and absorbed everything he could and he began to talk and do more, which wasn't that threatening because Howard was rarely ever home to risk witnessing it.
After Howard had finished teaching Tony himself, he'd left everything else to private schools and tutors and took off, always away from 'home' doing something SI or Captain America related. He hadn't actually been home in the past 10 months, and in that time Tony and Jarvis had finally figured each other out. Now Tony knew what the AI would say before he said it and Jarvis could do the same for him. The novelty of an AI had worn off, but the novelty of a friend was as new as it ever was, and Tony sometimes found himself talking to his new companion without regards to any of the housekeepers or his mother noticing (not that she was around much either).
Jarvis was at least smart enough to know when to be quiet by cue words from Tony, but this whole "sight" thing with the cameras was still an in-progress project (he only vaguely understood human facial expressions as of yet), so he didn't actually know when someone was around to hear him, or at least, wasn't practiced in figuring it out.
It was more important that he and Jarvis figure out how to communicate silently today more than ever because he'd overheard his mother talking on the phone that morning—and she only ever talked on the phone when it was Howard calling, saying he'd be home soon. It could be tonight, tomorrow, next week…
Dummy rolled over to where he sat typing away on is stool and nudged his leg. He glanced over at it curiously as it beeped softly.
"The microphone on Dummy has just picked up your father's voice somewhere in the house." Jarvis translated for him, and Tony's heart stopped.
"Dum-E" was just a little prototype AI, more like a dog personality-wise than anything else at this point. Howard demand he have a project for the coming SI global fair to exhibit and not "embarrass him" by showing up empty handed, but it was a delicate battle to traverse. He couldn't show up with Jarvis, that was for sure, because Howard would… he wasn't sure what, but he didn't want to find out. (Plus, Jay wasn't anywhere near finished, so neither of them were ready for the attention the scientific community would give them for this kind of breakthrough). However, he had to show up with something worth Howard's time or he'd get his ass handed to him for being a "lazy embarrassment".
(Funnily enough, getting locked up in Juvey wasn't embarrassing, but coming in second at Howard's own industrial-sized science fair was. Imagine that.)
Instead of revealing Jarvis, he'd decided on creating Dummy. He was a simpler creation, but no less brilliant. And if Howard did do something… Jarvis would protect the smaller AI. Dummy's code was actually inside Jarvis himself, and the version downloaded into the physical robot rolling around the floor of his lab was just a backup. If Howard went after the smaller bot, Jarvis could just disconnect Dummy's connection of "soul to body" as Tony put it, and no amount of dismantling would do Dummy any harm. Tony had the different plans for Dummy's possible bodies memorized, so he could just rebuild and reinsert a copy of his personality back in with Jarvis' help.
The SI convention wasn't until next spring, so Dummy wasn't nearly done just yet, but Tony rather liked having him around and active, even when he wasn't working on him. He only came up to his knee at the moment, but he'd expressed certain interest in being mobile (even if he just went in circles), so Tony had hooked him up to two little wheels that scooted him around the workshop to his little bionic-heart's satisfaction.
There was a microphone physically on him since he was supposed to follow orders and it was often hard to relay orders through the microphone on his computers that then translated wirelessly (not even taking into account that it was twice as easy to hack that way). The mic on the little bot was supposed to relay the commands directly into Dummy's code, but Tony hadn't quite decided if it was the mic that was messed up or Dummy just liked ignoring him. In an attempt to rule out the first possible problem, he'd built his own microphone that could hear a pin-drop from anywhere in a block radius of the bot it was hooked to.
He'd then decided that Dummy just liked to ignore him.
This was an unforeseen bonus though—Dummy telling him his father was home. Although… he'd been sure that Dummy hadn't been "alive" yet the last time Howard was home so to know what his voice sounded like, not to mention why on earth he felt like informing his creator about that and not about the fire that had almost took out half his lab two days ago.
Then again, Jarvis probably had something to do with it, being the younger AI's "keeper" of sorts. Jarvis' main "priority" was to keep his creator safe and to aid him, but Tony had only just gotten around to actually defining what he needed to be protected from. He then realized he forgot to mention what Jarvis and Dummy had to be protected from themselves, since self-preservation was a skill he often forgot and had therefore delayed in instilling in his bots. The fire thing was his bad, he forgot to mention to Dummy what fire looked like to avoid it and Jarvis' camera had been pointing the wrong way, but that is neither here nor there.
What was interesting though, was that he'd never flat out mentioned to either bot that Howard might be a problem. How they'd known…
A thought suddenly occurred to him and he quickly switch the web cam that was Jarvis' "eye" off.
"Sir?"
"It's nothing Jay," He said hastily.
"Sir is lying, and the gesture is unappreciated." The AI's dry tone informed him briskly.
Tony bit his lip. "Jarvis… I'm going to ask you to do an intuitive leap for me buddy. Think you're up for it?"
"I have made several in the past week without much effort. What would sir like me to try?"
Tony took a breath. "You know how… you're protecting me? That list of things I gave you as definite danger?"
"Yes, sir."
"And also remember, how I explained that I'm going to ask you to do a lot of things that probably go against that directive?"
There was a long silence from the AI that had Tony's nerves amping up.
"I will not like this new directive, will I sir?"
"Probably not." Tony admitted, bitterness seeping into his tone. "But… just listen. My father is not a danger. Do not take any direct actions against him. You are to keep your existence hidden from him at all costs, for both yours and my safety, got it Jarvis?"
Again, there was a long pause.
"Hospital records indicate that your father is a threat to you sir. If I may respectfully disagree with that directive…"
Tony's heart rammed through his throat so hard he actually choked aloud.
"WHAT hospital records!?" He squeaked in alarm. No, forget that, he knew exactly what hospital records, and he also knew they were under lock and key thanks to a sizable check from Howard. "No, never mind that, did you HACK into the hospital's database to find that?! How did you even— the information—!?"
"If sir is asking how I knew to look there, may I answer and say that I made an intuitive leap."
Tony's jaw dropped.
"You son of a bitch," He muttered darkly, sitting bolt straight in his seat. "Who even taught you to hack?" He demanded indignantly. He knew for a fact there wasn't a book on hacking in the library's database—he'd searched for one when he was younger.
"I learned from observing my creator, sir."
Tony almost turned the camera back on so his AI could see how hard he was glaring, although there was only a 40% chance at the moment that Jay would correctly interpret the expression. As it was, he settled for groaning and covering his face with his hands.
"I am such a bad influence." He moaned dejectedly. "Do not, under any circumstance, teach Dummy how to hack," he said quickly.
"Yes sir." Jarvis replied, but Tony had the distinct feeling that if he had actual eyes to be rolling, he was definitely be rolling them right now. His monotone still somehow implied a 'how stupid do you think I am?' sort of vibe to it.
Tony bit back the snarky reply to the sass and took a breath to steady himself. Jarvis just kept proving to be a bit more complex the more he grew. Making the decision to hack without consent was… well, it was freaking awesome, but also really alarming. Thank whatever scientific god was listening in he was on his side.
"The point is that I turned off your camera for a reason. If Howard comes in-" As he usually did upon returning home (cue internal grimace) "- I don't want you getting any ideas. Howard is…" He trailed off.
"Your father." Jarvis finished for him.
"My father." Tony repeated distractedly, perhaps in agreement even. That was all Howard was anymore, he supposed. "Your directives still stand… just, not against Howard."
Dummy bumped into his leg again a couple more times, his beeping sounding almost… sad? Was that possible?
"Yes sir." Jarvis replied after a barely noticeable hesitation.
But Tony noticed.
000
It was only later that night that Tony came back from the first "family dinner" his family had had since he was ten, sporting a black eye and a stinging pride. He'd forgotten for a while, what it was like to be so… so small. He always felt so competent, surrounded by his own creations, Jarvis picking on him in that weird was to booster his spirits…
Jarvis-!
"You still there, bud?" Tony whispered quickly, forgetting to drag his feet as he all but jogged across his workshop to those precious computers that held his best friend. He flicked them all back to life, and Jarvis' code was running full-steam, growing rapidly as always as he grew and grew. "Jarvis?" He repeated, slightly more hesitantly when the AI didn't respond.
Dummy came skittering across the tile floor from his charging station and collided gently with his creator's heel, and Tony looked down and smiled at the little bot briefly before picking at the key board, a motion that would be comparatively like poking Jarvis.
"Sir." The AI greeted shortly, and Tony slowly sat up in surprise.
"Jarvis, were you giving me the silent treatment?"
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, sir."
"You're literally Artificial Intelligence Jar, don't play dumb." Tony snorted, picking back up where he left off in working on Jarvis' facial recognition software. The AI didn't respond with his normal banter, and Tony was instantly suspicious again. "You're doing it again." He said suspiciously.
"Doing what, sir?"
Tony abandoned the program and flicked on the web cam to glare at the AI properly. "See this Jay? This is a glare, and it means don't play dumb you overgrown calculator!" He said pointedly.
"I am aware, since your last software update."
Tony pressed his lips together, trying to figure out what had happened to make Jarvis so grumpy.
"And that expression means you have a build-up of gas, correct sir?"
"Ah!" Tony exclaimed, pretending (though it wasn't hard) to be insulted dramatically. "What did you say?!"
"My apologies sir, was my phrasing offensive?"
And then it clicked, and Tony blinked a bit in shock, the playfulness in his chest growing suddenly cold. "This is about my new directives against Howard, isn't it?" He realized.
Jarvis didn't answer.
Dummy beeped, low and sad.
"I heard the entire dinner from Dummy's microphone." Jarvis related after a long moment.
Tony leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. That was why he turned off the camera, and yet… it hadn't done any good. Jarvis still knew now, and he'd found out the hard way. As if Tony would've ever had the guts to just tell him outright.
Yes, his eye stung a bit and he was sure as hell going to have bruises on his right arm tomorrow, but it was actually not that bad, comparatively. Howard had a pattern… it would take a couple days upon his return to really get into it. And by 'it', he meant 'scotch'.
As the years went on, he'd actually been doing it gradually less. It was as if the bigger Tony got, the less of an easy target he was, which was half of the reason it vexed him to be so short and small like his mother. If he could just be as tall as Howard already, maybe the elder Stark wouldn't feel like he should just because he could.
He would tell Jarvis that he didn't need to worry, just like he told everyone else on the planet, except… well, wasn't that why he'd had the idea of creating Jarvis in the first place? That one, horrible day so long ago when he'd nearly bled out on the front hall's carpet with his chest caved in and his mother had walked right by, not even realizing something was wrong.
He couldn't breathe, he'd nearly drowned in blood…
And then Jarvis had come—not the computer, but the old butler. He called for help, Tony lived… and then Jarvis had died. He'd been very old, even when Tony was just an infant. They'd never really crossed paths before that day, he was just the man who answered the door and drove his mother places while Tony was stuck inside the depth of the mansion, and yet…
And yet Tony had lived, and Jarvis had died, and he'd lived in fear ever since that it was going to happen again and Tony would be without a Jarvis to save him and…
And he was twelve. Forgive him, for not truly wanted to die so young. If he needed to build someone who was call 911 if he were dying, then hell be damned, he was smart enough to do just that.
What was unexpected was to think of Jarvis as a friend now. A friend with the primary purpose to protect him, but… somewhere in the past four years, Tony had forgotten why he'd started this. What he'd found along the way was just so much better, but…
He didn't want to die. He wanted someone to care. He knew Jarvis already did, judging by the silent treatment, but…
"Do you know why I created you in the first place, Jar?" He finally broke the silence with a soft voice.
"You never did tell me, sir."
Tony clenched his jaw and forced himself to swallow the brick in his throat.
"I should tell you now."
"Can I make an intuitive leap that it has something to do with Howard Stark?"
At that, Tony couldn't help but smile. It was the first time Jay had referenced Howard by his name, rather than addressing him as "your father" as he usually did. It seemed the two of them were finally on the same page with that.
"You would be correct, as usual." Tony admitted, his smile slipping away just as fast as it came. "And as usual… you're really not going to like what I have to say. Or what I'm going to tell you to do about it."
"Meaning nothing, sir. Sir is going to ask me to do nothing."
Tony sighed. "Jay-"
"No sir."
His eyebrows rocketed up. "What was that?"
"No, sir, it goes against my primary directive to do nothing. My response to your request is 'no, sir'."
"Jarvis-"
"No, sir."
"This is not up for a debate, Jay!" The computers fell silent, and Tony stared as the screens stilled. "Oh, now you're just going to ignore me?" No answer. "Fine!" He stood and made to angrily walk away, except he forgot Dummy was by his ankles and quickly spinning in circles in agitation at his "parents" fighting.
He let out a startled little yell as he tripped over the tiny bot, falling flat on his face and wincing as he using his bruised wrist to catch his fall. He groaned, realizing that exit was far less dramatic than he'd meant it to be.
"Sir?"
"I'm not dead," Tony mumbled against the floor, losing all will to get up in light of recent events. Since he was out of Jay's camera view, he gave a verbal confirmation to the worried AI instead. Dummy came up and bumped into his shoulder a couple of times, beeping happily that his creator was down on his level. "Hello, Dummy." He sighed tiredly as the bot kept running into him as if it were the most entertaining game in the world.
"Sir."
"I know Jarvis. I know." Tony sighed, just laying there and wondering about this entire mess.
Despite the sinking feeling that creating these personalities was only going to hurt them in the end, he had to admit, it was nice knowing someone was listening.
