A/N: Thank you so much for all the nice reviews you guys left! You are all amazing! This chapter is a Morgan/Prentiss flashback and I know you guys want more Hotch but I promise he'll be back in the next chapter! Hope you enjoy!
xo, JJ
Chapter 7: Get There From Here (Ben Harper)
In a friend you find a second self. ~ Isabelle Norton
August 2008
Hotch had only left a few hours ago when Emily heard a knock on the door, assuming it was Morgan stopping by to check on her she opened the door expecting to see him there.
She opened the door and was shocked at the sight before her eyes, it was Morgan all right, but with him he had several bags of things.
"Hey Princess." He said, making his way into the house. "Now where's my goddaughter?" He asked, looking around.
"Good to see you too, Morgan." Emily said, rolling her eyes. "Ella is sleeping in her nursery, what is all this?" Emily said, pointing to all his bags.
"My stuff, I'm here to help." Morgan said
"Right, I get that. But why do you need so much stuff?" Emily asked, pointing again to the bags.
"Because I'm moving in for a while." Morgan replied.
"What? Morgan, no, you don't need to do that." Emily said, waving her hands in front of her.
"Look, Princess, no arguments. It's hard enough to take care of a baby with two people; you're going to run yourself dead trying to do it alone. I'm not taking any time off work, I'm not here to bug you, I'm here to help. Think of me as a live-in boyfriend, minus the sex." He said, winking mischievously at her.
Emily rolled her eyes again but also couldn't stop the smile that was beginning to form on her face. "Morgan honestly, you don't need to do this. We'll be fine."
"I know you'll be fine, but that doesn't mean I still can't try to make this a little less stressful for you." He said, staring her down.
Emily smiled and shook her head, "Oh boy, this is going to be crazy. But thank you, Morgan." She said shyly.
"Anytime Princess, you're not alone in this." He said, pulling her into a hug, which she gladly reciprocated.
After a moment Morgan pulled away, "Now seriously, where's my goddaughter?"
Emily laughed and pushed him away from her playfully. "In her nursery, come on." She said, leading him to Ella.
Morgan walked into the room; the smile on his face grew as he stepped into the room. "There's my baby girl." He said, walking over to the crib.
"Do you mind if I hold her for a little while?" Morgan asked, looking to Emily for approval.
Emily smiled, "Of course you can." She reached down for the tiny infant and carefully helped Morgan situate her into his arms.
Morgan looked down at Ella's face and smiled at her facial expression. "Well look at this, baby girl already knows her godfather is going to spoil her rotten. Look at that smile." He said, carefully rocking the baby in his arms.
Emily shook her head, laughing softly. "Oh god, just no pony's."
Morgan looked down at Ella and then over at Emily, "I can't make any promises." He said seriously.
Emily laughed again, "Oh god, maybe I should have picked Reid for godfather." She said, trying to push his buttons.
"I'm going to ignore that comment since you're probably exhausted." Morgan said, making his way over to one of the rockers in the corner of the room and taking a seat. Emily moved to take the rocker next to him.
Morgan turned his face to Ella and started talking to her, "We can't promise Mommy no ponies because what would happen if you decide you want to be an equestrian rider when you grow up? You'd have to start learning early, wouldn't you baby girl?" Morgan said, kissing the infant on her nose.
Emily laughed, "You know, you're going to need a new nickname for her, Garcia might get jealous if she finds out you're calling Ella 'baby girl' too.
Morgan once again addressed Ella, "Uh oh, we can't make Auntie Penelope angry now can we? How about she's my baby girl and you're my pretty girl? What do you think?" He asked.
Ella made no indication that she had even been listening to Morgan, she just continued looking around.
Morgan shrugged, "I'm going to take that as approval."
Emily laughed once again, "Well, I'm glad you two have come to an understanding." She said sarcastically.
Morgan moving in ended up working better than Emily had expected, he hadn't taken time off work so he was still gone a couple days a week on a case but that was okay, Garcia tended to come over and help when he was away. Morgan had definitely been right, just having someone else in the house to split the late night wake-ups with made everything so much easier.
Morgan had been living with them for a month when Ella got a small fever. It wasn't a big deal, just made the normally calm and agreeable baby rather fussy and unable to sleep, keeping Emily and Derek up for most of the night.
By four in the morning they were completely exhausted. Thankfully Ella had finally stopped crying and the two adults were slouched on the floor of her nursery, leaning back against the crib.
They both were a mess, Emily's hair was frizzy and half out of the ponytail she had put it in earlier that day, her clothing was stained and definitely smelled. Morgan's appearance practically mirrored hers, minus the hair of course.
Emily leaned her head back against the crib, "I'm afraid to move in case we accidentally jostle something and wake her up again."
Morgan put his head in his hands, wiping his eyes. "Me too, god I don't know how some parents deal with babies who are like this all the time."
"Oh god, I think I'd cry every day." Emily said, horrified at that thought,
Morgan chuckled softly.
"So does this extremely fun night make you want kids of your own?" Emily asked, she was at the point where she was so tired that she wasn't even going to be able to sleep.
Morgan laughed again, "Oh god, I haven't thought about it. Maybe someday, I've still got time. As long as they turn out to be as good of kids as Ella."
They were silent for a moment more when Morgan spoke again, "What about you? You ever going to want to do this again?"
Emily smiled, "For as sleep deprived as I am, so keep in mind that I'm probably delirious, I still think I would want to do it again. Although that would mean I'd have to find a man."
Morgan turned to her at this point, "Princess, I know you've kept this close to the chest so if you don't want to tell me the deal then that's all right, I get it, but I want to be here for you, I'm not going to judge you, I just want to be here for you. What exactly happened with Ella's dad?"
Emily sighed; she was too tired to lie about this right now. "He's married." She said quietly.
Morgan didn't comment, he just looked at her, knowing she wasn't done yet.
"Well, at least he was married when we slept together, well technically he was separated. He's not anymore, married I mean. He's not married anymore." Emily said, still not looking at Morgan.
Morgan's eyes grew wide, "You still see him?"
Emily nodded her head.
Morgan tried to wrap his head around the situation, "So, he just doesn't want to be in Ella's life? He's just going to ignore the fact that she's his daughter?" He was getting angry; he couldn't comprehend why someone could just ignore the fact that he had a child.
Emily turned to Morgan, placing her hand on top of his, signaling him to calm down.
"Morgan, he doesn't know Ella's his daughter. I didn't tell him." She said, grasping his hand tightly with both of hers and staring at the floor.
Morgan's face looked slightly shocked, he put his head back on the crib, trying to process what she was telling him. A few moments later he looked up at her, placing his free hand on top of both her hands.
"Emily, why not? What if he wants to be in her life?" He really didn't know how to process what she had just told him.
Emily took a deep breath, "Well, when I got pregnant he was trying to patch things up with his wife and I couldn't ruin that. I just wanted him to be able to happy and now his life is such a mess I just don't feel right putting this burden on him."
At that, something in Morgan's brain clicked and he said, "Emily, do I know this man?"
Emily nodded her head, the tears threatening at her eyes.
"Emily." Morgan said softly, letting her know it was okay to confide in him.
Emily couldn't help the tears that started to fall from her face as she responded, "It's Hotch."
"Oh, Emily." He said, pulling her close to him.
He held her close for a few moments as she cried in his arms, stroking her hair.
As her tears quieted, Morgan spoke again. "How…how did it happen?"
Emily took a deep breath preparing to tell Morgan the story.
"You remember last year when Hotch and I came to that case in Milwaukee even though I had technically resigned and he had technically transferred?" Emily asked.
Morgan nodded his head signaling he did.
"Well, when we got home Hotch came over to my apartment and told me Haley had left and taken Jack and I was feeling terrible after getting hit with that two by four so I suggested we go out for drinks. We both ended up blacking out and when I woke up I was in his bed, I left before he woke up and the next morning at work I pretended like nothing happened and he believed me. I just…I didn't want to screw his life up even more. I didn't even consider the fact that I could get pregnant. It all just happened so fast, and I was doing so well compartmentalizing and then I found out I was pregnant and I couldn't just turn back the clock. I couldn't ruin what little was left of his family." Emily spoke, the tears falling silently from her eyes again.
They sat in silence for a while as Derek rocked Emily back and forth, soothing her as she cried.
A little bit later Morgan spoke, "Emily, answer one more question for me and I promise I'll drop it and I'll never tell anyone else. But, Emily, do you have feelings for him?"
Emily thought for a moment about if she really wanted Morgan to know the truth or not, she finally figured he knew everything else so she might as well confess this as well.
"Yes." She whispered.
Morgan closed his eyes, feeling his heart break for the woman in his arms.
"How long have you had feelings for him?" He asked, knowing she would tell him if she wanted to stop talking about it.
"Since I can remember. It was always just a little crush when he worked for my mother but it all came back when I started work at the BAU two years ago."
"Emily, I'm so sorry." Morgan said, he didn't really know what else to say at this point, he just held her and let her cry.
Morgan slowly pulled them both up from the ground, deciding that Ella seemed to finally be out for the night, he grabbed the baby monitor and pulled Emily into his arms, carrying her into her room.
He laid her carefully in her bed and climbed in next to her, he just didn't have it in him to leave her alone right now.
He pulled her close to him and Emily buried her head in his chest, her sobs growing softer. Finally she felt like she could breath again and she looked up at Morgan, "Thank you." She whispered.
"This is what partners are for Princess, I'm always here for you. We're family." Morgan replied.
Emily hugged him closer as they both fell silent, quickly giving in to the sleep they both so desperately needed.
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor to measure words but to pour them all out, just as it is, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away. ~ George Eliot
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