Mistake at the Rendezvous

Bringing Ino into the Fold

By Pat Squared


If someone walked up to Sakura two months ago and told her that she would be conducting genetic testing on twenty different potential fathers for her babies, she would think that they were nuts and give them the patented smack down that made her the most second feared nightmare of perverts worldwide.

However, so far the only good news that she had so far today is that Rock Lee is definitely not the father of her twins. She had run twenty tests and they all came back negative. Sure, she banged more men in a month than many adult movie starlets, but not so many that she could not remember their names. There was only one more person to test, but it would be futile.

The ANBU who trained girls for honey-pot operations was fixed. There was no way that he could be the father of her children. Fixed meant fixed and if he was not fixed, then he would have impregnated a dozen girls long before he…

She searched her memories. She was never fall down drunk, had no blackouts, or even missing time signifying that she was under some genjutsu. He had to be the one. Sometimes fixes are not permanent, tubes heal. If so, it was her bad luck to be the lucky winner of unprotected sex roulette.

Sakura had to find out and there was no way that she could pull ANBU genetic profiles without raising flags. Even she would have to have Tsunade and the ANBU commander sign off on so many authorizations. She would have to contact Ino.


Sasuke cursed fate.

He had gone through every academy record. Unless the mysterious girl of his dreams was from his parent's generation under a hell of a genjutsu, there were no more candidates. He checked each and every potential candidates and learned that he did not cast his net wide enough. Walking pass a construction site, he saw roofers walking up and down the side of an apartment complex under construction. He introduced himself to the builders and found out that just about every profession in Konoha used either ninjutsu or genjutsu. Carpenters and painters routinely use wall-walking. Plumbers use water-walking. Even street-walkers and geisha use minor genjutsu to hide blemishes. These were taught as part of apprenticeships.

Sasuke groaned in mental pain. The only hope he had was to literally walk into her. Genjutsu could do a lot, but it could not change the height, weight, or shape of one's body if physical contact was made. Naruto's physical transformation technique was classified, known to only a handful of ninja, and took too much chakra for any non-ninja to initiate. Even Sasuke, who had a respectable chakra pool, grunted when he used that technique. His only hope was to bang his way among the girls until he banged her again.


Ino woke up from her nightmare.

It was a great day. The advance came through and her cut of the money was enough to pay for a grand wedding and the honeymoon of her dreams. The books were racy enough to turn any nun into a pervert, nay a super-pervert. And the publisher told her that they were offering a million-ryo advance on the next book.

It was great until Sakura ran up to her, dragged her into her office, locked the door, and ripped off her shirt.

"Look what you did to me!" screamed the magenta-hair banshee. "You fucked me and got me knocked up."

Ino was stunned. One, she got over her bi-coureous phase long ago, because there was no way that she could convince Sakura to experiment. Two, Ino did not have the equipment to knock up Sakura even if they had sex.

Sakura grabbed Ino's hands and held it to her public mound.

"Do it, tell me that I am not pregnant."

Ino's medical specialty was in mental health, but she did enough time in other medical fields to know the pregnancy detection jutsu. She cast it and…

Sakura is…pregnant!

Ino stopped breathing, turned blue, and fell.

A minute later, Ino woke up as Sakura was half strangling her and half attempting to rip her head off her body via whiplash.

"Tell me Ino, who is the father? Tell me who is the bastard you conned to knock me up. I tested everyone but that son of a bitch you set me up with. He was supposed to be fixed. He was supposed to make me a woman, not a mother. By the spirits of our ancestors, even my mother knows that I am now a pregnant slut! Do you know how it feels to have your mother pull your fortune and tell you that you are having twins?"

Sasuke suddenly stopped trying to kill Ino via shock and whiplash. The pink haired girl collapsed and turned into a crying, little girl.

It took Ino five minutes before she could comprehend Sakura's statements let alone speak.

"Do you need me to double check the tests? Tell me the names and I can…

Sakura opened up her beat up messenger bag and pulled out twenty files and her diary. Ino read the entries saw the names.

Crap, if this gets out, I am going to lose a whole bunch of money!

Rock Lee and Choji having sex before marriage or age 30. Kakashi, a two-some with the eternal chunin Izumo and Kotetsu. Mozuku the torturer and now the master of stimulating a girl's love button. Gross, now I know too much about my dad's coworkers in Torture and Interrogation. And worse, even cousin Takayuki. A girl does not want or need to know that her favorite babysitter as a kid lived up to his name by moving his partner to new heights. Thankfully the names of father and my uncles are not on the list.

Ino matched the files to the base profile and none of them matched. It could not be. She had verified herself that Sakura's first lover was fixed. She had personally ran the sperm count and STD test herself. No wigglers and no diseases.

Ino reached into her desk pulled out a photograph that she was not suppose to have.

"Is this…"

"Who the fuck is he?" Sakura snapped.

Ino's mind raced. If Sakura did not sleep with the ANBU, then the father of her baby could be anybody.

"That was the man who was supposed to be your first. If it is not him, then your baby daddy could be anybody."

The scream was loud. The crash was brutal. Ino had watched her best friend go through a lot, but this day set a new record.

"Let us find the son of a bitch and castrate him slowly, very slowly via ripping off his balls via his piss-hole and covering his wang with honey before letting the ants feast."

Ino knew that Sakura's Inner was cowering in fear. This level of violence was pure Sakura. Ino almost felt sorry for Sakura's baby daddy.


Sasuke sneezed as a shiver ran down his spine. He was worried in a way that he had not been worried since the day he became an orphan. Someone was really upset with him and he started looking for hole to hide in until that someone got pissed at someone else.


Sakura had gone through denial and anger. Now she was at the bargaining stage of dealing with the loss of her future. She could not get an abortion. If she did, not only would mother know, but she would never be able to live with herself. However, she could not bring herself to force her daughters to live with the stigma of being an unapproved child.

She had to get married or convince the world that her children were mission babies. While not as good as being the product of a sanctioned marriage, mission babies were not looked down upon to the same level as an oophs baby. Mission babies were wanted due to bloodline potential.

If she was out of the village long enough, she could teach her daughters enough to fake a bloodline. To do that, she needed a long-term infiltration mission, perhaps six to ten years. Since Ino got her into this mess, Ino was going to help her get out of it. If everyone believes that her children carry some rare bloodline, her children would go from being the result of bad luck at sperm roulette to being the most desirable children attending the academy.

Sakura still remembered her days at the academy and knew that the clan and bloodline kids got away with anything short of murder. With the exception of her, the other civilian kids were deliberately placed on teams destined to fail the true genin exam. If Ino did not help her all those years ago, she would be placed on one of the failing teams and became another failure like Ami, Fuki, Hibachi, Kasumi, and Kota. They were better than her at the practical stuff. If she was not placed on the same team as Naruto and Sasuke...

She was not going to let her daughters risk having their dreams crushed by being grouped among the failure teams.

Sakura was going to be a mother and like any good mother, she was going to do what she could to ensure that her children would have a better chance than she ever had. Even if it meant breaking every rule in the book. Only if Naruto could see how he rubbed off on her now.


Mebuki Haruno laughed as she casted Sakura's fortune. The little girl she gave birth to two decades ago could never leave enough alone. Sakura was the type to always double-down, even when it would hurt a lot less to fold. From the fortune, Sakura was going to come back with a lot more to explain than having twins.