"So Guitierrez, my old and first foe, even though I initially fought Cave Guy in the premier so technically that makes him the first, but you were the villain in the origin story so story wise you're my first opponent, and the one responsible for giving me my powers and, and, and? What was I talking about again?" Freakazoid losing his train of though until he noticed the other villains. "Oh right, so you've teamed up with some of the world's riches villains! Who coincidentally are the arch foes for all my friends here." Freakazoid getting back on subject.
"Ironic isn't it my friend," Guitierrez mocked. "It's almost like this is a poorly conceived crossover." Both Freakazoid and Guitierrez glared accusingly at the author. "Speaking of bad crossovers, I have a few clips of some of the worst ones in history."
"Not again," Freakazoid groaned.
"Um, do we really have time for this? We really should just get the story going." Sr. suggested.
"Nonsense, this will only take a minute," Guitierrez assured them as he turned on the big screen first showing scene from Jetsons meet the Flintstones. "A movie about a futuristic family meeting a primitive family, this is just ridiculous."
"Yeah I think that was the point," Freakazoid said defending the movie special.
The next clip showed the villains musical number on the Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel. "You see here! Seriously, why didn't the Marvel villains just kill Doofensmirtz. You know they wanted to. I would have paid money just to see Venom just bite that idiot's head off."
"I don't think they can do that in a kids' show," Freakazoid argued.
Next had the big climax fight scene from the 1967 live action Batman/Green Hornet crossover showing when Robin knocked Kato back. "Oh no! There's no way Robin could beat Bruce Lee! He should have wiped the floor with him and everyone else, including Batman! Bruce Lee is the best!"
"Maybe in real life, but he's just playing a character Kato here." Freakazoid trying to make his nemesis see reason.
"Can we get this over with!" Hämsterviel complained.
"Just one more," Guitierrez promised showing his final clip of Time Squad/Dexter's Lab. "What is this? Come on Dexter show off you're magnificent brain, or pull out one of your crazy gadgets or do something!"
"Um, that last one wasn't a crossover, that's just a cameo." Freakazoid clarified.
"There's a difference?" Guitierrez asked.
"Uh yeah, cameos are just when famous person or thing make an appearance in another's show or story, but they really have no real purpose or influence the plot in any way. It's mainly for fan service." Freakazoid explained. "Just like those guys over there." Freakazoid pointing to Zim, Baby Eddie, and Dr. Chipotle Jr who were still working on the device they were building. "You see, there not really part of the story, they are just here for a quick laugh."
"We're not part of the story? What a gyp!" Baby Eddy complained.
"The entire earth will pay for this insult, so says Zim!" Zim swore.
"I really need to have some choice words with my agent. CHIPOTLE!" Chipotle screamed.
"Enough of this foolish nonsense!" Hämsterviel yelled. "And you wonder why you're show was cancelled!"
"Hey, we may have had only 2 seasons, but we do have a large cult following, so bleh!" Freakazoid sticking his tongue out at Hämsterviel.
"Big deal, I have a Japanese spinoff that lasted 4 seasons!" Hämsterviel informed them.
"NO WAY!" everyone gasped in disbelief.
"It's true," Lilo confirming his claim. "I even guest starred in one episode as my future daughter."
"Yuna," Stitch sighed longingly, remembering his co-star on that series.
"Yes Stitch we'll visit her in Japan soon," Lilo promised.
"Man you know you've hit it big if there's a Japanese Anime version of you!" Ron complained wishing that he and Kim had an anime series as well.
"I know right," Danny agreed.
"Enough of this, can we please get back to the matter at hand!" Pandarus whined. They all nodded in agreement.
"Wait, didn't Jake say that you are a wizard?" Haley asked Pandarus.
"One of the best, if not the greatest." Pandarus bragged.
"You're the one responsible for the Tiki-nappings!" Haley accused.
"Busted," Jr. laughed to which Pandarus responded by zapping Jr with a magical bolt.
"Indeed we are young dragon," Pandarus admitted.
"Why would you want those Tikis?" the heroes asked.
"Actually this is somewhat your fault American Dragon," Pandarus pointing at Jake. "After you destroyed the Huntsclan there was a huge demand for black market magical items. You know the ones made from unicorn horns, sphinx hair, griffin's eggs, those sort of things." Pandarus started creating images of talismans, magical clothing, and other items made from magical creatures that the Huntsclan used to hunt. "So taking advantage of this market vacuum, I got into the business of making Tiki good luck charms made from real Tikis!" Pandarus explained showing them an image of several hundred Tikis in cages, as well as an image of Tiki figurines that you could normally find at souvenir shops only priced in the thousands! "They worth quite a pretty penny on the black market."
"That is sick and wrong!" Ron yelled. The others all gagged in agreement, especially the ones who actually met a real live Tikis. Some even commenting that they will never buy Tikis ever again!
"Okay, but what are the others doing here?" Jake asked.
"I needed resources and a base of operations to produce the Tikis, and my friends here," Pandarus pointing to Guitierrez and Sr. "Offered to buy this island and this facility in exchange for a percentage of the profits."
"That's great but how does Plasmius fit in to all this?" Danny wondered. "Why were you at Jumba's lab anyway?"
"Actually I'm not part of that scheme," Vlad admitted. "I came here because I needed treatment for my condition, but unfortunately I discovered that lab have been taken over by my friends here. After briefly explaining my blight, they agreed to help me, provided that I get a little something for them, for another project we're planing." Vlad showed off the page of the villains tome he got from Jumba's lab.
"Hey that's my coaster!" Pleakley accused.
"Wait. you've been using my important notes as a coaster!" Jumba shaking Pleakley.
"What is that?" Lilo asked.
"That is where all my evil genius for making experiments came from," Jumba explained. "You see one of my first work was an artificial wormhole generator, so that I can get all the stuff I need without having to get up to go shopping. Unfortunately the system overloaded and exploded, delivering only one thing. That piece of paper there, which gave me the bases for creating evil experiments. After all creating monsters to do a certain task is much more reliable than machines!" Jumba laughing manically.
"Right," Danny rolling his eyes. "So how did you know about this? And what's that for?" Danny asked Plasmius.
"That is a story for another time," Vlad said as he began charging up his hands with ecto-energy. "Why not just get this battle started." His cohorts also getting ready to fight as well. The heroes all getting in battle stance as well. They were about to lay the smack down when Senor Senior Sr. made a timeout signal.
"Hold up, time out!" Sr. yelled as he slowly walked up to Ron. "What is that?" Sr. asked pointing to Hana who was again strapped to Ron.
"This is my baby sister Hana," Ron introduced. "Isn't she cute."
"Adorable," Sr. agreed as he tickled Hana cheek. Hana giggled playfully warming up to the old man. "But still, bringing a baby to a fight? Ron, I thought better of you." Sr. shaking his head in disapproval.
"Yeah actually I left her with a sitter, but she kind of followed me." Ron said reluctantly. "You know how kids are."
"Indeed, boy the mischievous things Jr. used to do when he was an infant," Sr. laughed. "Say why don't you leave her and the other little ones over in the children's playroom?" Sr. directing their attention over to a small room on the other side of the lab. "I had it specially made for employees who couldn't get a sitter or had other emergencies. There are toys, coloring books, bulletproof glass so you can watch all the action without getting hurt, and a fridge full of juice boxes and snacks if they should get hungry."
"That's awfully nice of you," Jazz said suspiciously.
"My dear young lady, we may be evil villains, but we are not monsters." Sr. defended himself. Of course the irony of his statement wasn't lost on anyone since he's affiliated with a human/ghost hybrid, a dark wizard, aliens, and what could be best described as a internet monster.
Jazz and Steff took Hana, Dani, Denise, and Lilo over to the play area. "You go too," Kim instructed Joss.
"But Kim!" Joss argued.
"I need you to keep an eye on them," Kim said sympathetically. While it is true that the kids need extra supervision, she did it mainly to keep her cousin out of harms way.
"You too Haley," Jake ordered.
"But, but, this is my assignment!" Haley whined.
"And you've done an excellent job," Jake praised. "But this is a little out of your league," he said sternly keeping his eyes on the villains. Normally Haley would complain but the tone of her brother's voice and the seriousness of his expression, told her that this was not the time to be a spoiled brat. So she reverted back to her human form and joined her friends in the playroom.
"Well this looks nice," Steff commented since this is one of the best looking playrooms she's ever seen, and she actually volunteers at the local preschools and other children functions.
"Yes, but this might still be a trap," Jazz said cautiously. "I mean can we really trust that Senior guy?"
"Well Kim said that the Seniors aren't really evil, they just do the whole take over the world thing more as a hobby than anything else." Joss informed them.
"Oh they're evil alright," Denise sneered after exploring the playroom.
"Why do you day that?" Dani asked.
"Because there's nothing to eat here but carrot sticks and raisins!" Denise yelled showing them the fridge.
"Oh that is truly wicked!" all the kids agreed, except for Jazz and Steff, who have no qualms against healthy snacks.
Back with the heroes and villains, with the kids safely out of harms way, they went right back into battle mode! Danny charged straight at Vlad Plasmius, Jake coming down on Pandarus, Stitch tackling Gantu, Freakazoid engaging Guitierrez, Kim facing off against Senor Senior Sr., while Ron was having a slapfest with Jr. Dr. Hämsterviel levitated his hovering chair out of harms way so that he could watch the fight from a safe distance while spouting insults at his allies on how lousy of a job they were doing. Which they did not appreciate but were too busy fighting the heroes to deal with him right now.
Over at the device; Zim, Baby Eddy, and Chipotle Jr. were watching the fight. "Should we help them?" Eddy wondered. "I mean we are villains and they did hire us."
"Nope, you heard them. We are just cameo. Let us just finish this project so we can get paid and go home." Chipotle Jr. voicing his opinion.
"You humans and your precious money. You do not yet realize that it will all become worthless when the Irkin Armada come to take over your planet!" Zim ranted.
"Then why are you here?" Eddy asked.
"I need funds to pay off Gir's credit card debts," Zim grumbled. "Seriously, Gir goes through tacos and pizzas like there's no tomorrow, and don't get me started on all the piggys he buys and, and, and..." Zim pausing for a second after realizing that everyone was giving him a weird look. "And there won't be a tomorrow for any of you when the Armada gets here!" Zim started laughing manically. At this point Baby Eddie and Chipotle Jr. just started tuning him out and got back to work.
