Monday, March 11
Today happened to be both a fishing and bug tournament. As normal as it may be to have a fishing tourney, this is the only place I can think of where people compete to catch the biggest cockroach.
I desperately wanted to win. I don't even know why, but I did. Possibly because once I won everyone would actually talk to me about some interesting stuff. I've never ever seen anyone so persistently speak about one subject for so long. And as childish as their normal conversation may be, at least it won't be the same three phrases repeated at random intervals, all of which involve me fetching some sort of stupid collector's item for them.
I set out - with my net - on a mission. I knew that the big bugs would be hanging out on the trees so I headed to the orchard of money trees (yes, I am awesome enough to grow a money tree) and listened for the cringe worthy sounds of grasshoppers and some sort of whining baby.
I quickly learned that bugs are skittish creatures. Running by a tree five feet away from the bug will cause it go flying off the tree before rapidly fading into the air. I have no doubt that the 'fresh' air is acidic to bugs here.
With the stealth of a ninja (on meth), I streaked over to the tree and slammed the plastic net down on that sucker. I then proceeded to make my way to the town hall for that old fart of a turtle to inspect it. I respect the fact the bug knew what was good for it and decided to stay in the net the entire time.
Tortimer gave me a mushy lamp that kind of fell apart in my hands because I got the biggest bug so far that day. Whoop-de-doo. The best part about this is, though, is that now everyone's scrambling outside trying to catch a bigger bug. Peace and quiet.
