Goin' to the Chapel
By Magdalync
A/N: Thanks to my wonderful beta and friend, Alf. You keep me motivated, inspired, and you also keep me from making a grammatical fool of myself! Without further ado, here is the final chapter of Bat Wedding.
June 2009
Stephanie's POV
My ass was numb. I had been sitting in my cubicle at RangeMan waiting for a search program to complete its current query and doodling on the previous report I had just finished high-lighting for Ranger. I had doodled little wedding bells and tiny little 'RM + SP's inside bubbly little hearts around the border of the top page. I had also scrawled 'Stephanie Michelle Manoso' with a flourish several times at the bottom of the last page. Ranger would make me white it all out or worse, reprint it altogether when he returned it to me but I loved to jerk his chain. I knew no matter how much he acted like my antics irritated him; my juvenile shenanigans would make him smile.
My desk phone beeped indicating I was receiving an internal call. Looking at which light was flashing, I determined it was Lester who was on garage monitor duty this shift.
"Yo."
"Yo yourself, Beautiful. I've got a nice big surprise down here in the garage for you."
I mentally rolled my eyes. "If it's in your pants, I'm not interested."
"Come on, baby, don't be that way. I'm serious. There's a big delivery truck down here and the driver is asking for a 'Miss Plum' to come accept the delivery. I checked out the truck and its contents and all appears to be safe and in proper order. I think it's a surprise from Ranger."
"Well then call down some of the guys to help you unload it and deliver it to the seventh floor."
Duh!
"Well I could, but I think this is something you have to see for yourself."
I started scribbling little kissy lips on page two. "You can't give me a clue?"
Lester seemed to be giving that some thought. I was about to hang up on him when he said, "You know what? Never mind. I'll just tell the guy to return the retail sized delivery of TastyKakes to the manufacturer."
I did hang up then and was cursing my damn program for running so slow. I couldn't leave my computer logged in and running a search program unattended. Come on, come on…ninety-seven percent complete. I was tapping my foot, swiveling back and forth in my chair. Ninety-nine…done! I logged off faster than Bob can hork up a shoe and took off out of my cubicle knocking over my chair upon dismount.
I ran down the aisle between cubicles jumping over a box of printer paper outside Manny's cubby with the athleticism of O.J. Simpson jumping over luggage in a Hertz commercial.
I skidded to a stop at the elevator and was a little peeved when I saw that it was down on the first floor. I'm really not a stair person but I could just hear those little sugary confections calling my name. After a moment of indecision, I took off for the stairwell unmindful of the incredulous stares of the various RangeMen. I slammed the door open and mostly ignored the plaster I dislodged when the door came into contact with the wall behind it. Not my fault; doorstop must be faulty.
I took the steps in twos and threes. Between the third and second floor, I fell and took half the flight down on my ass. I said to no one, "I'm alright!" I bounced back up and skittered down the stairs, hanging onto the railing this time.
Lester wouldn't nibble on my TastyKakes, would he?
Once I came to the exit door to the garage, I slammed that door open and almost collided with a refrigerator truck backed up to the elevator near the door. The doors to the back of the truck were closed. I started to make my way around the rear of the truck and saw that Lester was talking to the unknown driver in the cab. Once Lester saw me, he straightened from the driver's side window and swiftly intercepted me at the back corner of the truck.
"Calm down, Beautiful. Why don't I open the door for you and you can see if you find anything to your liking?"
My heart was pounding a mile a minute and I was finding it difficult to catch my breath. I knew Ranger loved me, but to buy me an entire refrigerator truck full of TastyKakes, well, that depth of love was the stuff legends are made of.
Lester leaned forward and pulled the door open. All I saw at first were some nondescript Styrofoam freezer cartons with no label. They were nearly blocking the entrance of the cargo area. From behind me, Lester said, "Climb in. This stuff is for another delivery. Your stuff is behind it."
He helped boost me into the back of the truck with minimal ass grabbing. I'd smack him but I was in a zone. More specifically, I was in a refined sugar zone which is much more focused than my shoe sale zone and in some ways more instinctive than my sex zone.
It was dark and I was slightly suspicious because I couldn't smell any saturated fats. I heard a soft movement from my left. I jerked my head in that direction, confused when I saw Hal hunched behind one of the large boxes. I saw his arm make some subtle movement and the next thing I knew; I heard and felt the 'zzzzzzzpt' and it was lights out for Stephanie.
Ranger's POV
Good Christ, I hate off-site meetings. Some people consider me a control freak, but there is something to be said about home field advantage. I'm good in the boardroom.
I glanced at the clock on my dash and saw that it was nearly noon. I was hoping when I returned to the office that I could entice Steph up to the seventh floor for lunch...and perhaps some dessert. The kind of dessert only I can provide. I had since killed off fantasy Lester (don't worry, he had an honorable death) and had rendered fantasy Xander a eunuch. (Not so honorable, but I sincerely enjoyed it).
Just as I was changing gears, my pager vibrated on my hip. I unhooked it from my belt and glanced at the display: it was the 'Stephanie 911' code. Shit.
I felt a jolt of ice through my veins and a vicious cramp in my gut, but just as quickly I banked it. It would do Stephanie no good if I couldn't focus on the goal.
I blindly grabbed my cell phone off my hip and hit speed dial two before tossing the phone on the passenger seat. I then tapped the button on the blue tooth ear piece already in my ear and waited two rings for Tank to pick up. Two fucking rings are unacceptable.
I heard Tank pick up and before he could say anything, I barked out, "Report!"
"Bossman, Bombshell went off the grid about two minutes ago-"
"What was her last location?" I tried to keep the panic from my voice but I wasn't sure I was entirely successful.
"Near the private airstrip," Tank said quietly.
Fuck. I knew that if her kidnapper got my Babe on a plane, the chances of finding her quickly, let alone alive, shrunk exponentially. I couldn't think about that. I had to get to her. I slammed on my breaks and reversed direction towards the private airstrip. I didn't need directions; RangeMan had two planes in the hangers there.
"Call the airstrip now, tell them who you are and who you work for. Let them know there's a possible kidnapping in progress. Encourage them to not clear any planes for takeoff. What's your location, Tank?"
"I'm leaving Haywood now. I'll be there in twenty."
"Where's Brown?"
"About ten miles east of the airport. He'll get there before I do."
I ended the call and tried to block out my rage and fear, only allowing myself to focus on the road ahead of me and my goal to find my Babe.
Meanwhile at the airstrip…
Tank's POV
I folded my phone shut and smiled at Lester.
Lester looked back at me nervously. "What the fuck did he say?"
"The usual orders. He seems controlled but I know he's got to be shittin' himself."
Xander hopped out of the back of the refrigerator truck shaking his head doubtfully as he approached Lester and me. "Dude, I don't know about this. I know he's punk'd each of you at one time or another, but even I think this is way over the line."
Bobby jogged over to us from where he had been quietly conversing with the pilot. Clearly having overheard the direction of our conversation, he said, "Man, Ranger sent me to Burma in '99.
Lester folder his arms across his chest and added grimly, "Uzbekistan, 2001."
Xander swung his head to me. I kicked at some gravel at my feet and without meeting his eyes, I muttered, "Fargo, North Dakota, 2003."
Xander said, "Well, that's not so bad."
Bobby barked out a laugh and said, "Ask Pierre what he was wearing!"
I cut my eyes to Brown and gave him my best bowel shaking glare.
Xander shut his trap after that.
I turned back to Xander and said, "Look, I don't like the way we had to play this any better than you. But this is Ranger we're talking about. The Holy Grail for Bombshell is TastyKakes."
Lester nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and everybody knows that Ranger's only weakness is Steph."
Xander looked torn. "Couldn't you guys come up with anything else?"
Tank looked at Xander incredulously and said, "We can't just tell him there's a refrigerator truck in the RangeMan garage full of twigs and bark and expect he'll come running, hell bent for leather, and dive into the truck like Bombshell."
Bobby snickered and said, "He might."
Ranger's POV
Fifteen minutes later I pulled up to the airstrip gates and flashed my I.D. to the attendant. I wanted to just whip the Turbo around the area like Mario Andretti, searching in a blind panic for Stephanie and possibly mowing down the fucker who had her, but I held myself in check and parked. After stepping out of my car I put on a vest, double checked my weapon, slammed the door shut, beeped it locked and scanned my surroundings.
The airstrip seemed strangely quiet for midday. I glanced to my left towards the hangers and noticed that most of them were closed. I could see mechanics working on the planes of the hangers that had been left open. I glanced toward the runway and felt my heart lurch in my chest.
There was a refrigerator truck parked perpendicularly to my plane. Near the back of the truck I could make out the dark shapes of several men. I pulled my Glock out, and took off at a dead run.
As I got closer I thought it odd that none of the men at the back of the truck seemed all that concerned that an enraged man in black was running maniacally toward them. When I got about 100 yards away, I realized why. They were my men.
From what I could see, the men looked solemn and would not meet my eyes. Tank must have seen something in my face because he broke away from the group and jogged towards me.
He intercepted me grabbing me by both shoulders.
"Chill, man. She's fine. She's still in the back of the truck but she's a little out of it."
I broke away from Tank's hold and jogged over to the truck while shoving my Glock into its holster. Once I was a few feet from the open doors of the truck, I shoved Bobby and Lester to the side and climbed up. I had just climbed in when I saw her. My poor Babe. I caught my breath for a second as I took in her unconscious form. How does this keep happening to her? How could I ever hope to keep her safe? How-
Zzzzzzzzzpt!
Stephanie's POV
God, I feel like crap. Why am I taking a nap? Why am I questioning taking a nap? Holy Cannoli, my head hurts. Better to go back to sleep. Not working. What's that incessant whining noise? I hesitantly opened one eye. What the hell? I'm on a plane. A private plane. A very nicely appointed private plane. I looked across from me and saw something strange. Joe Morelli was smirking at me. What the hell?
I felt a tug on my left wrist and then a warm hand cupped my cheek and turned my head to the side. Ranger.
"Babe," he said in a low voice, "Are you okay?" His eyes searched mine and I saw such tenderness, it took my breath away.
I tried to turn my body towards him but found that my ankles were somehow tethered to the base of the seat. I muttered, "Well this isn't very safe. What if the plane goes down?"
Ranger ignored my comment and chose instead to glare at Joe. "Alright, Morelli, she's awake. Now talk."
I watched as Joe stood from his seat across from us, keeping his eyes locked on Ranger warily.
Joe said, "I'll have Lester untie your ankles if you promise not to do anything violent."
Lester's here?
Still glaring at Joe, Ranger said, "Yes, Babe, Lester's here. You want me to call him up here so you can say your goodbyes? He'll be dead before we land."
From behind us, a disembodied voice said, "Hey man, don't be that way. It's just a harmless little prank."
After that, we heard Xander say, "It's for the greater good. And if you're going to ship me somewhere, could we keep it within the 48 contiguous states?"
Ranger ignored both of their comments and continued to glare at Joe. "Untie us Joe. I promise to behave appropriately."
Joe stood there, hands on hips and actually smirked at Ranger. "Manoso, I'm a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them. I asked you if you would promise not to be violent."
Ranger said nothing, just continued his unblinking stare. I heard Ranger let out a small sigh before he said, "Fine. At least untie Stephanie."
What? Was Ranger implying that I wouldn't be a threat to Joe's safety and well being? Maybe I knew some moves. Maybe having watched the Matrix seven times would pay off. Maybe if I stood up and jerked Ranger forward by our conjoined wrists and slammed him into Morelli-
"Babe."
I looked over at Ranger and could see his lips turned up in the beginnings of a smile and he, in turn, was looking at Joe. I turned to look at Joe and saw that he was smirking back at Ranger. Shit. Must have said my diabolical plan out loud.
Joe moved forward warily and stepped to the side of me furthest from Ranger. He took a minute to untie the bungee cords he had used and then stepped back quickly and resumed his seat across from us.
He rubbed his hands nervously on the ends of the arm rests and looked bravely back at Ranger. Neither man said a word for a few minutes. Finally, Ranger broke the silence.
"Explain."
Joe rubbed the back of his neck and looked absently out the window to his left. He let out a long gust of breath and said, "I'm in love with Sasha."
Ranger had no outward reaction to that statement. He took in the information for a moment then said, "And this has driven you to assault and kidnap two people and cross state lines because…"
From behind us, I heard Lester say, "We're going to Vegas, baby!"
Joe craned his head around Ranger's seat and leveled Lester with a 'shut the fuck up' look. He settled back in his seat again and looked earnestly back at Ranger. "Look Carlos, may I call you Carlos?"
"No."
Joe narrowed his eyes at Ranger and continued. "I need you listen to me…as a man. Not as a mercenary or as an enraged fiancé, but as a man."
Ranger drummed his fingers on the arm rests while taking Joe's measure. I caught his right hand with my left and gave it a gentle squeeze before threading my fingers through his.
Ranger said, "Talk."
Joe straightened in his seat clasping the armrests firmly and met Ranger's eyes straight on. "I want to marry Sasha."
"And?"
"She says she doesn't want to marry me unless she is sure I am completely over Stephanie."
I felt Ranger tense slightly before he said, "Does she have any reason to believe you are not completely over Stephanie?"
"No!" Joe glanced at me and said, "Nothing personal, Steph, but I'm kinda glad we broke up, because if we hadn't, I never would have met Sasha. I get it now. What you and I had was great-for the most part- but what I feel for Sasha just blows the three years we were together out of the water."
Uh, thanks?
Ranger interjected, "Good to know. Care to explain what that has to do with the felony you're currently perpetrating?"
Joe got a soft look on his face and actually smiled. He smiled! Rat bastard. He looked back at Ranger and said, "Look. The way I see it, I need to make a 'grand gesture' in order to prove my love and devotion to Sasha. Chicks dig grand gestures." Joe actually used air quotes when has said the words 'grand gesture'. Idiot.
I cut in, "You never gave me a grand gesture!"
Joe had the decency to look sheepishly at me and said, "I did buy you that cushy toilet seat when you complained that my old one was too cold in the winter."
I glared at him.
Joe continued, "And I bought you that nice Rotodent electric toothbrush for absolutely no reason."
"You used my old one on Bob without asking. You wouldn't even confess until I showed you the teeth marks!"
Joe looked contritely down at his feet. "Anyway, I figured what better way to prove that I am over Stephanie but to, uh, encourage you guys to get married before October."
"Encourage?" I interjected. "You had me locked up in a refrigerator truck!"
Joe chuckled at that. "I thought it was fitting. Symbolic, even. I mean, considering the way Manoso proposed-"
"How the hell do you know about that?" I yelled.
If I hadn't been watching Joe so carefully, I may not have noticed his eyes shift momentarily to Lester. Lester. I shouldn't have let him be my fantasy extra. It should have been Brett. He's so pretty. Or Binky. Mmmmm Binky. Or-
"You could lose your job over this, Morelli," said Ranger, interrupting my lustful thoughts.
Joe looked up and blanched. He swallowed once, twice and then said on a rumble, "I know."
Shit. I know it sounds twisted, but my respect for Morelli just went up about ten notches. He was standing up to Ranger, breaking all kinds of laws and going to the ends of the earth to prove his love for Sasha. Choked me up a little.
I felt Ranger squeeze my hand gently. Then he said, "I appreciate the fact that it is sometimes necessary to bend the law in order to accomplish what you feel is morally right. I also appreciate the fact that love can make a man act a bit out of character."
I snorted at that. I wasn't thinking about Joe when I snorted. "You mean act like an idiot?"
Ranger hiked up a brow at me. I saw his brow hike and raised him two.
Ranger shook his head once and turned back to Morelli. He was quiet for a moment, assessing Joe. I knew Ranger was analyzing the situation, sifting through what Joe had to say and lining it up with his own agenda. What he said next didn't surprise me at all. "If Stephanie and I agree to go along with this plan, there will be a price. And you will pay it."
Joe bit out, "What? You poached the hell out of my girlfriend. You broke four of my ribs and my left wrist. I think that makes us even."
Ranger said, "You broke three of my ribs in return. I concede to the poaching but as you just said, I did you a favor. Stephanie wasn't the one for you."
Hey! I'm sitting right here! Did him a favor? I'll show him a favor!
Ranger turned to me and said, "Babe?"
"Nothing." Humph.
Joe studied Ranger carefully and said begrudgingly, "Name your price."
Ranger made a show of pretending to think about it, even going as far as tapping his index finger to his lips. The effect was somewhat lost since my cuffed hand was suspended in the air next to his face. "Let's see. You staged an abduction which led me to believe Stephanie's life was in danger. You had both of us tasered. Then you kidnapped us and crossed state lines, which makes it a federal offense. Hmmm. I think, in this case, we'll have to leave the price open ended. A blank check, if you will."
Damn, he's good.
Joe looked a little green around the gills. He actually pulled his collar away from his neck even though he was wearing a loose fitting Henley. He was looking at the floor and muttering unintelligibly.
"Do we have a deal?" Ranger asked.
"Dude, what are we talking? I mean, am I going to have to take your mother to mass every Sunday for the next year? Play Joseph in St. Catherine's live nativity next Christmas?"
Ranger chuckled and said, "No. But I like the way you think. Sounds like excellent suggestions for Lester and Xander. Thank you."
From behind us I heard two moans.
Ranger straightened slightly and said, "I'm in a business where I often need favors. One day, I'm going to call you. You will handle my favor, no questions asked. It could be a month from now, or it could be five years from now."
"Fuck."
"Price you have to pay when you play with the big boys," Ranger said succinctly.
Joe said, "Look, it can't be anything illegal. I'm a cop, for Christ sakes."
Ranger raised his brows and looked innocently around the cabin. "You mean, no more illegal than you're doing now?"
I knew Ranger would never ask Joe to do anything that was morally wrong or would risk his job, but I also knew that Ranger wouldn't allay Joe's concerns. That was a part of the price.
Ranger said, "Do we have a deal?"
Joe said nothing, just nodded once.
Ranger cleared his throat and said, "I'm satisfied with the arrangement, but it's not up to me. It's up to Stephanie."
What?
Ranger turned back to me and said, "Babe, I would have married you months ago if you had wanted to. I'll wait until October if that's what you'd prefer. I just want to marry you. I don't care how or when it happens, just as long as it does."
Had Ranger just given me warm fuzzies in front of Joe? I looked back at Joe and saw that he was calmly watching us with detached interest. Not an ounce of jealousy was showing on his face. I looked back at Ranger and said, "Aren't you worried about how this will make you look on the street? The big bad mercenary being tasered and abducted and then forced to marry against his will?
"Babe, no one on the streets is going to believe this shit."
Joe looked a little stricken at that. Ranger turned to him and said, "Believe me, no matter how this turns out, I'll let Sasha know exactly what you perpetrated to prove yourself to her."
Joe seemed slightly appeased.
"Babe, are you considering this?"
"Um…well, it does seem a little unorthodox. But considering our history..."
Ranger gave me a soft smile and pulled my cuffed hand up to his face so that he could kiss my palm. He spared a glance at the cuffs and let out a soft chuckle at the irony.
He took a deep breath and said, "What about your parents? They had big plans for the wedding in October."
I didn't even have to think about it. "Ranger, we're not getting married to have a wedding. We're not getting married to please our parents, or your parents or our friends or even the 'Burg. We're getting married because we want to spend our lives together, on our terms. These may not have been any terms I would have come up with, but you have to admit, it will make a great story to tell our kids."
"I thought you didn't want kids."
"I'm just saying."
"You want me to impregnate you with my bat spawn?"
Joe let out a theatrical gagging noise.
I leaned close to Ranger, brushed a kiss to kiss ear and then whispered, "Someday."
Epilogue
Steph's POV
I woke up the next morning with a horrendous headache and my mouth felt as if Rex had spent the night in it, wood shavings and all. With my eyes still closed, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The room was cool and the sheets felt like silk. A warm muscular body was curved at my back and once I opened an eye, I confirmed that a mocha latte arm was curved around my waist. I opened both eyes and followed the length of the arm visually, only stopping when I saw the platinum band on his left ring finger. It really happened. Batman is mine.
I heard something stir from the floor beside the bed so I opened both eyes and peered over the edge. Huh. Lester and Xander were on the floor wrapped in the bedspread from the bed and…spooning!
Okay, I could do this. I know we were sober when we got married. It was the 'celebration' afterward that was a bit of a blur.
I had been vying for the 'intergalactic' wedding that one chapel offered but was disappointed to find out that the chapel knew nothing about princesses. Who the hell would want a Star Trek wedding? Seriously?
I remember Lester and Xander lobbying for a mobster style wedding. I actually thought it might be kind of hot. Ranger and Joe quickly squashed that idea.
Oh God. It was coming back to me. There was velvet. Lots of black velvet. Satin, sequins and side burns flashed through my brain like some macabre slide show. And suddenly the slide show came with audio.
"Do you, Stephanie Michelle Plum, take this man, Ricardo Carlos Manoso, to be your lawfully wedded hunka hunk of burnin' love? Do you promise to love him tender, love him true, in good times and in bad, forsaking all others for all the days of your life?"
"I do."
"Thank you. Thankyouverymuch."
Oh God. No wonder we drank until dawn.
I felt nature's call and slithered carefully from the bed being mindful not to step on the entwined bodies of Lester and Xander. I had to stifle a laugh. All kidding aside, I knew the boys were straight, but still…
I made a mental note to grab my camera phone on the way back from the bathroom.
As I returned from the bathroom, I quietly took several shots of the boys from many angles. Being with Ranger has taught me the value of having insurance.
I smiled down at the boys for a moment and let my mind wander. I remember earlier at the wedding, Joe pulling the minister aside for a moment at the end of the ceremony and whispering something in his ear. He had requested that Elvis serenade us. The song he chose for us: "I Can't Help Falling in Love with You".
I remember doing tequila shots and the boys attempting to hook up with a couple of showgirls. I also remember dirty dancing with Lester and Xander and looking over at our table and seeing Ranger and Joe sharing a toast. It was then that I knew that the path the lead us all here to this moment was the right one.
Snapping out of my reverie, I remembered that Joe was with us. Where the hell was Joe? I looked around the suite and didn't see him. I had a thought. No. He couldn't be. I stepped closer to the bed and it was then that I noticed that around Ranger's mocha latte waist was a familiar slightly hairy and swarthy arm. Dear God, I hope we didn't consummate last night…with an audience…or assistance!
I glanced down at myself and remembered I was still fully clothed in some garish and small spandex confection that would make Lula green with envy. I also remembered from my trip to the bathroom that my panties were in place. Thank God.
With my fears allayed, I took aim and snapped several incriminating pictures of Joe spooning Ranger. Probably, I would never use the photos as leverage with Ranger. But Joe…well Joe was going to be part of the family soon. I could use this insurance policy for years to come.
I climbed back in bed and snuggled my backside up against Ranger's toasty front. I easily ignored Joe's knuckles digging into my back. In fact, I pressed my back more firmly into Ranger in order to keep Joe 'pinned' into place. Lester and Xander's devious streak must be rubbing off on me.
Half asleep, Ranger murmured "Babe," and ground his morning erection into my behind. Clearly, he was unaware we had 'company'. I pushed my bottom back into him in order to force him into Joe, hoping he would get the picture.
In a sleep graveled voice, Ranger said, "Who the fuck is behind me?"
I smiled to myself and whispered, "Joe."
I expected Ranger leap from the bed, do a quick 'cooties' dance, break Joe's neck and ask questions later. Or at the very least, elbow him in the gut. He did neither. Instead he lay very still and nearly stopped breathing.
Confused, I said, "Aren't you going to move?"
He murmured in my ear, "Babe, he has morning wood. I could have lived my entire life without experiencing Morelli's morning wood up against my ass."
I chuckled. "Don't you think it's kind of sexy?"
"Stephanie, I have never been less turned on in my life."
From behind Ranger, Joe said in a croak, "I can't help it. It's a natural occurrence. It has nothing to do with you, Manoso."
Ranger ground out, "Then why are you still cuddled up to my ass?"
Joe said almost guiltily, "My head hurts too much to move, this bed is comfortable, and the room's cold. You're like a fucking furnace."
Ranger did elbow him in the gut then, but all he succeeded in doing was to get Joe to remove his arm from around his waist. Ranger growled, "If you don't get your dick off of my ass-"
Just then Lester and Xander's sleep tousled heads popped over the edge of the bed. Lester took in the tableau and said, "Are we consummating?"
Ranger shut his eyes tight and said through clenched teeth, "Morelli is the only one who seems up to the task."
Joe whined, "It's not me. It's my dick. Give me a break. I'm a healthy Italian male and its morning. I probably need to piss."
Joe rolled out of the bed and stumbled toward the bathroom. Ranger called out after him, "Why don't you brush your teeth while you're in there. Your breath could peel the paint off a barn."
Joe flipped Ranger off and promptly slammed the bathroom door behind him. I chuckled and turned to face Ranger. I said saucily, "Good morning, Mr. Manoso," as I tucked a leg between his thighs. Mmmm.
Ranger started kissing my neck and growled, "Good morning, Mrs. Manoso." He rolled on top of me and started kissing down to my collar bone. Just as his hand had started trailing across the low neckline of my slutty, slept in dress, I heard pointed throat clearing. We both stilled.
Xander said, "Not that we're complaining, but, uh, you know we're still here."
Lester added, "If you just give us a chance to brush our teeth, we'd be happy to help out in any way we can."
With his face still buried in my neck, Ranger said, "Get out."
Lester whined, "It's six o'clock in the morning!"
Ranger turned his head and glared at Lester. "I don't give a shit what time it is. I need to be alone with my wife."
His wife. In a million years I never would have believed the rush it would give me to hear Ranger refer to me as his wife.
Just then the bathroom door opened and a worn out and presumable minty-breathed Joe stepped out taking in the scene with a look of bemusement on his face.
Shaking his head, Joe climbed back into his 'side' of the bed. Ranger glared at him. "What the fuck are you doing?"
Joe yanked at his section of the blanket and turned his back to us. "I'm going back to sleep. If you must consummate, please try not to rock the bed too much, keep the moaning to a minimum and don't get any…stuff on me."
Ranger dropped his forehead into my pillow and let out a sigh of defeat as he rolled off of me. In an authoritative voice he said, "The three of you are on your own getting back to Trenton." Then he added, "Babe, today is a very special day. Not only will we be consummating this union, but you'll be joining the mile high club at the same time."
Joe whined, "Do you mind? Some of us are trying to sleep."
Ranger curled his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. Just then, the bed dipped to the left, and then to the right. Xander and Lester had climbed in on either side of me and Joe, leaving Ranger in the middle.
The room was dead silent for a moment. Then Ranger said, "What. The. Fuck."
Lester wrapped his arms around my waist and said, "The floor is hard and Xander smells like a gym sock."
Xander growled, "Your momma smells like a gym sock."
Lester's arms released me instantly and he launched himself over three bodies to get to Xander. Lester's forward momentum caused them to roll off the bed taking a lamp and the bedside phone with them. They then proceeded to wrestle across the floor of the suite, somehow entwining themselves in miles of phone cord.
After watching them a moment, Ranger turned back to me with a blank face. "Still want kids?"
OoOoOo
The End!
