QUINN
I wake up to his eyes watching me .
"Sorry." He's quieter than I've ever heard him before. "Sorry. I'm sorry."
I burrow closer into his side. I feel glued to him; if we were to separate it would cause me to burn. Maybe lose some of myself. But I can read his face, and it's already pulling away from me. As he tries to move out of the bed, I hook my legs over his body.
"Quinn."
"I don't want to." Leave. Remember. Think. Please, most of all, I don't want to think. Somewhere I recognise this feeling as selfish. I've pushed Beth aside. She's been relegated to a tiny space in my brain; banished to occupy a dark corner in case she's had the guts to go and...The door opens wide and light floods in. I don't even know what time it is. Finn and Rachel are standing there.
"Sam's back."
"He brought this." Rachel holds a crumpled piece of paper in her hands. Puck is out of the bed and the sudden absence of warmth hits me in the side, cold biting me with hard, nasty teeth. But I don't know if it's a physical drop of temperature or just the sensation of being alone. I pull the sheets up, search for some clothes on the floor. I turn my back to the others while I slip a dress over my head. It's a sunny yellow and it makes me feel ill. Puck's hand is warm on my shoulder as he puts the paper in my lap. I fold it out, smooth its edges over my knees, and stare blankly at the smiling face of Jesse St. James.
"What the hell," I hear myself say. "What the hell does your ex boyfriend have to do with anything? Berry?" There's that momentary pause where I just stop myself from calling her something insulting out of habit.
"I got it from Ms. Pillsbury," comes a voice from behind her. I recognise it. I don't even care enough to feel ashamed at the state he'll see me in, see the bed he slept in not long ago filled with someone else. Sam steps into the room. He barely glances at Puck, but looks me dead in the eye. "But as I've been trying to explain, it's...it's complicated. I think she's just trying to help, I don't even really know the guy or what he's about."
I see a look between Rachel and Finn, and Rachel shifts almost imperceptibly away from him. I knew it. For a moment I feel triumphant.
"He's a jerk," Puck says bluntly. "And if he's got anything to do with this, I'll take him apart. I'll – "
"The number is Shelby's," Rachel interrupts. "But we know Beth isn't there. We need to talk to Ms. Pillsbury."
"She's downstairs. She came straight away when I called her." Finn holds Rachel's phone up. Puck is out the door and I see him pounding the stairs, Finn and Rachel close behind. Sam keeps his eyes on me as I stand, pulling my dress down. I look at the ground as I go to walk past him, but he stops me, an arm across the doorframe.
"I love you," he says quietly. I feel my chest constricting. "I love you, Quinn. And I know you can't...I know you don't feel the same yet. But I love you more than anything, anyone. Whatever happens."
His breath hits the side of my face like a slap. "Excuse me," I say. "I have to go downstairs now."
PUCK
Ms. Pillsbury looks scared. Her eyes are always the size of plates, but today they look even larger.
"I told the detectives," she tells me, looking around us. "But they weren't ready to look into it, and I didn't want to let it slide. At the same time, Noah, I didn't want to bring you into it. You're angry," she says before I can speak, "and it wasn't a good idea to make you angrier. So when Sam came to me, I thought I could tell him. I thought it might better to just...nudge him in the right direction. Please, please understand, the police really weren't interested in chasing Jesse. They didn't see the point."
"Ms. Pillsbury, I can't understand." Rachel sounds flat and defeated. Somewhere in this rage, I can find some sympathy for her, having both her mom and her ex thrown in her face in the same week. "Why Jesse?"
Ms. Pillsbury exhales. "He came to see me, after...after Quinn changed her mind. He asked me if I thought she could be convinced to give Beth up after all. I told him I didn't know, that it was Quinn's choice and that she seemed set on keeping Beth now. He wasn't angry. He accepted it and he walked away. All I have to say, for all this, Rachel...all I have to go on is a feeling. And when Jesse walked out of my office, it didn't feel right."
"And the police won't look into a feeling." Sam stands beside Finn. "So I thought I'd go see this guy. But the number wasn't his, and I figured, he looks like a glee clubber in this photo, maybe you guys would know him. I didn't know how well," he says to Rachel. She shrugs. It's a tiny gesture that makes me want to hold her.
"Let's go then," she says, looking at each of us. "Let's go find Jesse."
