Sorry for the delay in posting. Work got in the way of fun. The chapter I planned was only half done, a couple days away from being finished, so I thought I would post it in two parts instead. Which means a shorter chapter.
No Outlaw Queen interaction in this one but I promise some (hopefully good) stuff in the second half. A certain horse race may or may not come into play!
Again...I own nothing dealing with OUAT or its characters.
Regina slammed the book shut and threw it across the room. There were stacks of books scattered everywhere. The spells in these books were at a level that she had never came across before. She could really use Rumpelstiltskin at this moment, he had over 100 years to figure some of this shit out. She had been shut in this room for a week, maybe it had been two weeks, she wasn't sure anymore. She hadn't stepped out of her room once during that time. Belle, Mulan, and occasionally John would bring her meals...never Robin. She didn't know why it bothered her that Robin hadn't been by, wasn't he one of the reasons she hadn't really left the room in the first place? She did not want to cross paths with him. She had been thrown for a loop, meeting Roland...finding out that Robin was his father. It was all too much. She had to put distance between herself and Robin, she had to put distance between her and that sweet little boy. She hadn't seen Roland since their meeting in the library that evening. She could still feel his small hand wrapped around her own, could still see his trusting eyes as he showed her his secret hideout. Her eyes closed. This was not good. She was poison to children. Owen...he became a monster because he met her and because of what she did to him, forced to seek his own revenge. And Henry...Henry….she slowly breathed in...and out. She needed to make sure she stayed away from Roland.
The next day, her vow started to become more difficult.
"Hi Regina!" A bright voice came from the doorway. She turned around startled; she hadn't even heard the door open. There Roland stood. His wide, brown eyes staring at her bright and unafraid. She felt her breath hitch. No.
"Roland...you shouldn't be here. Does your father know that you are here?" Regina asked. Was her voice shaking?
"Papa had to leave for a little while on a 'venture. He said I had to count to ten days on my fingers 'fore I could say hi to you 'cause you were busy doing work." Roland walked closer to her and leaned in whispering, "I only counted to eight fingers 'cause papa left... and I just couldn't wait two whole more fingers," he ended dramatically.
Regina heart was hammering as she watched the young boy itch closer and closer to her. He was very endearing but she couldn't let him stay...she just couldn't.
Before she could respond John appeared at her door. "Roland!" He huffed, his breath was heavy from having to search for the boy. "I've been looking everywhere. I'm sorry your majesty," he said, turning towards Regina, "...he has been quite... anxious to see you. Robin had told him to wait for a few days. We'll leave you now in peace."
"It's fine, he wasn't bothering me," she heard herself say. What? Was she not just going to tell the boy to go? Did she really want him to go? Yes. It was for the best, for her sanity and more importantly...his.
"I want to stay with Regina," Roland's lower lip was stuck out just a tiny bit and his brown eyes resembled that of a begging pup. Regina was quite sure she would have caved had it been just he and herself in the room.
John tapped his finger on the boys nose and quietly, but firmly said, "Not today."
Regina felt an unexpected feeling of loss at the words. She closed her eyes, this is what she had wanted but it didn't stop her from opening her mouth. "If it is fine with you, Roland may come see me in a couple days to say hi...if that is what his father told him he could do."
She heard a small voice cry "Yes!" as John nodded his head in agreement.
As the two left Regina's room she suddenly remembered the news about Robin having left several days ago. She quickly got to her feet and raced after John and Roland. "John," she exclaimed, a little more sharply than she intended to. John turned around quickly, his eyes nervous.
"Yes your majesty?" He asked timidly, fearing her wrath she presumed.
She cleared her throat, calming her voice. "Roland had mentioned that Robin was gone on an adventure, what is that about?"
"Oh," John twitched a little...still nervous. "He and a few of the men went out to check on reports of another flying beast that had been spotted. Should be back in a few days time." He nodded his head and quickly turned around to catch up with Roland...or more likely to escape her.
Regina let out a quiet, low growl. She didn't know if she was frustrated that Robin didn't inform her of the possible beast sighting, not keeping her in the loop. Or if she was disappointed that he hadn't wanted to come see her and tell her. Either way, that man had once again found a way to drive her crazy...even in absence.
The next two days past by agonizingly slow. Half of her was thrilled at the prospect of spending time with Roland, the other half of her was terrified. She did not want to ruin another child's life as she did Owen's and as she almost had done to Henry...several times. In the end she had put Henry first over herself something she had been unable to do with Owen. In the time before Henry she was only ever able to think of herself. Her feelings. Her anger. Her revenge. Her loneliness. Henry had changed that. Of course what she felt for Henry greatly surpassed what ever she had felt for Owen. She had not loved Owen. Was unable to love at that time. Now? Now, Henry had taught her how to love again. Would she be able to put Roland and his feelings above herself and her own feelings. She briefly wondered if her wanting to spend time with Roland was because her heart yearned to be with Henry. Roland could not be a Henry substitute. It would be very unhealthy and terribly unfair to Roland. Perhaps this was a bad idea. Yet as Roland appeared at her doorway, his grin spread from ear to ear, carrying a stack of books, she couldn't quite make herself tell him to leave. She would just have to be careful.
For the next week Regina and Roland would meet in the library every day around lunch for the rest of the afternoon. Roland was a well behaved little boy, quite the opposite of his father she thought fleetingly. He would often bring books and various toys to play with. Each day her intention was to keep focused on her studying, not be engaged with him, try to discourage him from wanting to spend time with her, but he kept coming, he kept talking and her defenses weakened more and more each afternoon.
This particular afternoon, she glanced over at him, watched as he focused intently on the picture he was drawing. Yesterday she had presented him with markers that she had conjured up with magic the previous night. All children should get to experience markers she had thought. She smiled at the memory. His face had lit up when she showed him what the writing tool could do. He had gasped, "Regina! It's beautiful." It was hard to pull him away from them yesterday to go eat dinner.
"Regina," he called, pulling her from the memory. He was looking at her eagerly. "What's your favourite colour?"
"Uh...green, I suppose. Why?" She asked.
He smiled. "You'll see!" He turned back to his picture.
A few moments later she felt Roland climb on to the sofa beside her. His little body right next to hers. She froze and her heart rate went a little faster . She and Roland had been spending many afternoons together but she had usually avoided any physical contact with him. His small hand rested on her thigh to get her attention. The warmth from his hand spread through her entire body and she felt tears spring to her eyes. God how she missed Henry.
"Look Regina," he said, showing her his picture. "It's you and me in the secret hideout, when we first meeted each other. And I drawed a green flower...see? 'Cause you like green."
Regina nodded. The tears in her eyes threatening to spill. "I love it," She whispered.
Roland grinned and laid his head on Regina's arm. Regina closed her eyes, relishing the trust and love the young boy offered her. It had been a very long time since anyone had treated her this way. This young boy didn't see her as the Evil Queen, he only saw her as Regina and that was the most liberating feeling. She looked down at the young boy and knew that she was beginning to care very much about him. She just prayed that neither one of them got their heart's broken.
Let me know what you think. Any hopes for the future?
