CHAPTER 7
"Hi."
"Kiba-"
"Hinata, I just got out of surgery." He rolled his eyes and sat down beside her on the grass, "We don't have to talk about that now."
She sighed, "What do you recommend?"
Kiba laughed and Hinata smiled. It was good to hear his laughter, she'd missed it.
"I guess it's kind of hard to avoid, hunh? Sorry about the bomb shell."
"It's okay."
He looked at her, in that annoying, thoughtful way he had and remarked, "But I did think I was dying, you know?"
"So did I." She admitted, "That's why I didn't faint… or kick your ass."
"Just settled for breaking my little dog boy heart?" He asked with a smirk.
Hinata sighed and closed her eyes, covering her mouth with balled fists. Immediately he regretted his words.
"Sorry, Hinata, I-"
"Why do you do that to me, Kiba?" She asked, knowing that her words were too cruel for the occasion, "You know I-" her voice trailed off.
"Yeah, I know." He said, awkwardly, "I'm sorry."
"I don't know what to do with you, Kiba." Hinata whispered, more to her self than him.
"I know." He said, "It's true though… when you told me about…him… I wanted to kill myself… or… him…"
"I thought we weren't to talk about it."
"Yeah." He said, smiling a little, "Can we be friends, Hinata? Just for now? Until you decide?"
"I love him, Kiba."
"You can't know that…"
"Kiba."
"Please, Hinata? Can we just pretend we're friends again? Like before everything got complicated?"
"Okay."
They were still for a few moments, staring out on the river where Hinata did her chakra training. She didn't know why she dreamed of this spot, it had always been special to her but she'd rarely been there with her teammates. Neither one spoke and a cool breeze swam through the dream world. After a while, Kiba muttered;
"I can't think of anything to say." He laughed slightly.
"Sometimes it's okay to be quiet." She said, leaning back against him, her head on his shoulder. Kiba smiled and allowed himself to enjoy her touch. She was so warm, smelt so good. It was closer than they'd ever been while he was alive.
"You sound like Shino." He murmured.
"It's impossible to sound like Shino."
He laughed.
"You know he's dating my sister?"
"I thought something was up." Hinata nodded, "She kept looking at him when we were-"
"Apparently, he's liked her awhile." Kiba said quickly as it clearly hurt Hinata to think about the hospital.
"Only for about six or so years." Hinata chuckled, "They left together after the surgery."
He snorted, "Way to be concerned, Hana."
"Hey!" Hinata reached up and slapped him gently on the nose, "She saved your life!"
"Yeah…" His hand circled around her wrist and he leaned forward to examine it in the setting sun, his eyebrows furrowed.
There was three, long, thin scars across the vein. Faint but fresh. Kiba looked at her, back down to the scars and then back to her.
"Hinata-!" He whispered, "Did you do this?"
"N-no." She pulled away, trying to reclaim her hand but his grip was tight.
"Did you do this?!" Kiba repeated, "Don't lie, Hinata! You haven't been on a mission since- How long have you been cutting?"
"I-I haven't b-been-"
"Hinata!" He struggled to keep from shouting at her, "Hinata, you are the only thing keeping me on the planet! Why would you- Even if you don't care about me-"
"How can you say I don't care about you?!" She demanded in a breathless voice, tears spurting out of her colorless eyes, "Why do you think I-?"
Her words were silenced as he crushed his arms around her, clutching her body tight against his. His voice was muffled in her air and thick with emotion.
"Please… Hinata… Don't ever hurt yourself ever again!" He pleaded with her, "I couldn't take it, please, god, I couldn't take it! Don't ever hurt yourself, please! Don't you know how important you are? God, don't ever do that again, understand me?" He broke away and shook her fiercely, "Do you understand? Do ANYTHING but that! Anything."
He sighed, over come with emotion and held her again, this time not quite so tight, whispering, "God, Hinata, don't you know how important you are? If anything ever happened to you I don't know what I'd do. I couldn't handle it… I love you. Hinata… Hinata, Hinata, Hinata… don't ever do that again."
"Kiba…" She whispered, back in bed, her eyes soaked with tears, "Kiba…"
She glanced at her wrist. It was clear, free from any scares. She hadn't been cutting herself. Why had she dreamed she did?
"They must have been emotional scars." Yondaime muttered, "Maybe this is a good thing."
"I hope so." Kiba said, already feeling guilty about yelling at her.
"God, I'm fucked up…" Hinata stood and walked from the bed. She glanced out the window. Neji was asleep for once. That meant it must be after one in the morning. Grimly, Hinata forced herself to look in the mirror. She hadn't been sleeping well for days, the bags under her eyes proved it. Neji and Shino had both commented and Hanabi asked her why she was always tired but Naruto had yet to notice… he didn't notice a lot. She was grateful for that.
Every where she looked, Hinata saw Kiba. Even when she closed her eyes, it was Kiba bleeding on the grass, Kiba telling her he loved her, Kiba in pain… It was nice tonight, to finally see him happy again, if only for a little while. Kiba smiling, Kiba joking, Kiba's arms around her…
"No!" She reminded herself firmly, "You're dating Naruto…"
"She just has to rub it in, doesn't she?" Kiba sighed, "As if I needed the reminder. It's not exactly easy for me either, Hina!"
When she was with Naruto, she didn't think about Kiba so much. Naruto could distract her, make her believe she was normal. Kiba used to have that effect on her but that was before all of this decided to happen. She had to stop thinking about him, had to get him out of her dreams. It wasn't fair to Naruto… it wasn't even fair to Kiba especially since they'd never-
Why not?
She choose to ignore the question her mind had posed and glanced again out the window. She needed to see Naruto… it wouldn't be the first time she snuck out. Hanabi would worry and Neji would be disappointed in her but she was grown woman, wasn't she?!
Grown women don't sneak out of their bedroom window.
Another statement she could ignore. She began to open the window and a cold wind shot into the room. She hesitated, one foot half way out the window and pulled it back in. The least she could do was leave a note. Neji could yell at her later.
Gone out. Be home tomorrow.
-Hinata
She didn't bother thinking but a lie. It was really done of Neji's business where she went at night.
"Or anybody else's." She muttered to her self, body flickering out the window. Kiba stared after her and Yondaime cast a sidelong glance in his direction.
"You think she knew we were here?"
Kiba ignored the question and followed Hinata. She didn't waste time with walking but body flickered as far as her depleted chakra would allow. Kiba prayed he was wrong about where she was going. Maybe she was going to train. Training calmed Hinata… made her feel as if she were in control, or so she'd once told him. The happiest, most satisfied he'd ever seen Hinata was when they trained together as a team…
And you fooled yourself into thinking it was you that made her happy… He thought before he cold stop himself.
Hinata stopped outside of Natuto's apartment. She shivered and looked over her shoulder. It felt like someone was watching her.
Let them watch! She tossed her black hair angrily; it's my life, damnit!
"It's my life." Hinata repeated aloud and pressed the button next to the untidy scrawl Uzumaki.
"God, Hinata…" Kiba whispered.
"Hunh? W'a's goin' on?" Naruto's voice crackled through the intercom, "Is there a mission?"
"No, it's me." Her voice was more powerful than either of them expected.
"Hinata?"
"Hinata…" He almost forgot she couldn't hear him, "Please…"
"Yeah- can I-" She choose her words carefully, she wanted to be taken seriously, to be independent, "Do you mind if I come up?"
"Hinata, please don't!" His voice was choked with emotion.
"Uh- Sure!" She distinctly heard the rustle of clothing being put on, "Yeah- no problem."
The buzzer sounded and she stepped in to the building. Against his better judgment- what little thought he was capable of at that moment- Kiba followed her.
"Please, Hinata! Please, don't! Hinata!" Tears flashed down his ghostly cheeks, "HINATA!"
"Kiba…" He froze, and stared at her.
"Hinata…" He barely dared to breathe.
But Hinata's eyes stared ahead and she swallowed, glancing up and whispered, "I'm sorry."
He knew she couldn't see him, knew she thought she was crazy, knew that she believed she was talking to herself. But his heart didn't see it. All he could tell was that she was leaving him, and she wouldn't come back.
The elevator stopped. Hinata squared her shoulders and stepped out into the hall.
I'm not betraying him… She told herself, trying to still her thoughts; I never gave him any promises. He knew I loved Naruto… he said it himself! He has no right to do this to me!
He's in a coma! He's not doing anything to you! Tears began to form in her eyes without her feeling it, you're going insane, Hinata! You need to forget Kiba! Get him out of your head!
"Hina!" Kiba barked desperately, "Hina, don't, PLEASE!"
"Hey Hinata." Naruto opened the door to his apartment. He was wearing almost nothing, a blue pair of pajama bottoms that had obviously been on the floor a few moments ago. His blue eyes were drowsy and his eyebrows rose.
"What're y-"
She stopped him with a kiss, hot and heavy. How like Naruto not to know why she was here at two in the morning. Kiba always said he was dense. Kiba would have known-
STOP IT! Hinata shouted at herself, Stop thinking about him!
She broke from Naruto, pulling his lower lip out as far as possible the way she'd seen Temari do to Shikamaru. The kiss had served one purpose at least. He was awake now, awake and staring at her like he'd never seen her before. He was stammering something.
"Could I come in?" She interrupted shortly.
"Ye-yeah sure." Hinata smiled. Now it was his turn to stutter. Naruto stepped back, allowing her into the apartment. He'd never seen Hinata like this.
Kiba had. Brief, glorious moment during training when her chakra was entirely under her control, he'd seen her like this. He never loved her more than in those moments, when she was in her element. When she lived for herself, not for her father, or her village, or Naruto… he never loved her more than in those moments, never loathed himself more than in this one.
If you really loved her… He thought to himself, you'd want her to be happy, no matter what.
But she wasn't happy. She was calm, angry, confident, determined, not happy. He knew her when she was happy. This wasn't it.
She made her decision…It's over. Don't put yourself through this. Don't chase after a woman who doesn't want you… give up. Die.
"Hinata…" It was almost instinctive. One last plea to her retreating form, walking past Naruto into his apartment. It was always this way for him. When everything was lost, he thought about her. He said her name, it helped. Not this time. Nothing could help him now.
It's over… Hinata.
Naruto Uzumaki seldom dreamed about anything other than becoming Hokage and the occasional naked orgy. He certainly never dreamed about his own bedroom, with Hinata sleeping next to him after a night of violent, amazing sex.
Then Kiba was there. He was a ghost, floating ominously above the bed. He was not the care free, joking Kiba that Naruto sometimes hung out with. His eyes were cold and his face serious.
"If you hurt her…" He said, "I'll fucking kill you."
