The Window is a Mirror

A/N: I wanted to post all these chapters together. I am typing as quickly as my poor little fingers will fly over the keyboard. I hope you guys will forgive me when I go away for a week after this. Work and adult responsibilities compel me to set aside the typing of the recreational in order to focus on the obligatory.

Chapter 7 Revelations

Cas managed his breathing enough to join Dean in front of the car. He walked up and leaned against the hood next to Dean. They were still and silent.

"I'm gay." Castiel said at last. Cas could feel Dean's eyes on him. He didn't elaborate or explain. He'd known for years. Telling Dean was possibly the hardest thing he'd ever done. The choked sound from Dean surprised Castiel, but not more than seeing Dean slide down the front of the car gasping for breath. Cas watched as Dean fell on the dirt to sit on his ass.

"Dean!" Cas reached for him, but was waved off one-handed by Dean. His other hand hid his face.

"I'm sorry." Castiel said as he sat in the dirt next to him.

Dean's head shot up. Their eyes met. Cas saw how red Dean's green eyes were and cringed at having made his friend cry.

"Why?" Dean croaked.

"Why am I gay?" Cas asked.

"No, Jackass! Why are you only now telling me this? Why didn't you call me the minute you had an inkling? Why did you abandon me here, alone, for months? Why weren't you here when I had to tell my dad that the reason Lis and I broke up was because she found out I was in love with my best friend? Why weren't you here when my dad kicked me out because I wouldn't take it back… telling me I was wrong? You know, that night was the hardest night of my life? I snuck into your room and slept on your bed. I couldn't think what else to do! I was alone. Cas, I stared up at your stupid stars on your stupid ceiling thinking all I wanted was for you to hold me. I sat on your bed trying to figure out why my life turned into a complete cluster-fuck. I went through your dresser, your closet, looking for anything of you to help how incredibly fucked I was. Know what I found?"

Cas shook his head, dumbfounded. Dean plucked the front of Cas' shirt- a black t-shirt with big red friendly letters that read: "Don't Panic". Cas laughed. Dean joined him. Cas reached out and took Dean's hand in his own. Dean slowly twined their fingers together.

"I was afraid of the best case scenario being that you wouldn't care I was gay, but I had to watch you marry Lisa." Cas admitted. "Or worse, you didn't want to see me anymore."

"Yeah, well…" Dean hedged. "She wasn't my brightest idea ever. Still, I thought you were telling me you knocked some chick up. I thought that would be my luck… I'm in love with the guy and he's telling me he's gonna be a dad."

They sat in the dirt leaning against the bumper of the Impala on the bluff, fingers holding their hands together. Cas groaned, closing his eyes and thumping his head against the bumper.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Jo!" Cas exclaimed. "She knew I was gay! She knew about you!"

"Well, yeah. After coming out to Dad, it pretty much spread all over our social circles like wild fire. I can't think of two people who don't know."

"She gave me… urgh! The woman is impossible!" Cas laughed again.

"Oh, my god!" Dean started to rise but didn't want to release Cas. "I gotta go back to work!"

Cas nodded and began pulling away. Dean yanked his hand, sending Cas crashing into Dean's chest.

"Wha?" Cas started.

Dean pressed his lips to Cas'. Cas smiled in response and Dean pushed in his tongue and wrapped Cas with his free hand around his waist, pressing their bodies together in a tight embrace. Cas smoothed his hand up Dean's chest, to his shoulder and traced further upward until he was brushing fingers into the short hair at Dean's nape. Dean gasped and pulled his head back, shivering his whole body and shifting his legs. His eyes were closed and he fought a whimper. Cas continued to watch the reaction with fascinated blue eyes and a wicked grin.

"You… are evil!" Dean admonished.

He released Cas but they both hesitated before pulling away. Cas caressed his hand down from behind Dean's ear tracing the cut of his stubbled jaw down his throat to his chest. He couldn't believe he was being afforded the opportunity to touch Dean—his best friend since grade school, Dean; the only man he thought of romantically, Dean; object of dreams and fantasies, Dean… Dean, Dean, Dean!

They turned slowly and walked back to opposite doors to get in the car. They never lost track of the other in their vision, stealing covert glances, sharing shy smiles. When Dean started the ignition, he reached his hand to entwine fingers again. They kept finding themselves staring in awe at each other.

They rode in companionable silence until they were close to the shop. Cas looked about at his surroundings as though just realizing he was back from a dream.

"Hey, Dean? Can you drop me at Kat and Oh, Henry's?"

Dean grinned and signaled the turn before nodding in answer. They pulled into the drive and both wore grins and rose-blushed cheeks. Cas leaned over and planted a kiss that Dean turned to receive.

"Want me to pick you up here?" Dean asked.

"Oh! Right! Dinner… Yeah, I'll call if that changes." Cas' eyes were wide and sparkling. His smile was the morning sun after a night of terrible darkness. Dean drank it in and held in the percolating laughter his happiness was generating.

Cas walked backward toward the front door, unwilling to leave Dean or have the man in the car from his sight for a moment lest it all be revealed another fantastic dream. Dean, likewise, was unwilling to back the car out of the drive for the same reason.

A/N: K, guys… I gotta actually do work now. I will post next weekend, barring serious injury or apocalypse.