The sun rays that came through the window woke me up. I slowly stretched to check if it still hurt. I felt better than yesterday, the pain was almost gone. How long have I been sleeping? I couldn't hear a noise in the house, so I assumed they all were training in the headquarters. I put some comfortable clothes on, took my Hamlet book and went downstairs. I had a light breakfast and my intention was to read in the couches but the sun seemed so nice that I went to the back garden. There were some of those hammocks that hang from the trees, so I layed down in one of them. I opened Hamlet and started reading it. The sun didn't burn on my skin, and it was fresh outside so it was the perfect weather. I spent there the whole morning and I almost finished the book. But I couldn't stop thinking about Pietro. He has been really nice with me so far, but I didn't completely trust him. I didn't trust any of them 100%. Maybe the one I trusted the most was Wanda. But I knew Pietro had a darker side. I know he annoys people and plays with his powers as he told me, but that's not what I meant. I liked that playful side that he had. But I felt he was hiding something. I will try to talk to Wanda about this eventually.

It was almost lunch time, so I went back to my room, had a fast shower and put the same clothes back, an old t-shirt and shorts. I prepared the table for lunch, and as I was finishing they arrived. Everything was going nice while we ate until Nat asked me something.

"So Ayla, you will start training in a couple of days. Have you ever fought, or shoot a gun?"

"No, never. I've never been in a situation in which I needed that skills or anything." Shooting and kicking asses? Nope, I've never been in a fight.

"So it's obvious that you've never killed somebody." I felt a shiver on my back and accidentally dropped the fork.

"I...I have, but it was an accident..." I've never talked about this with anyone. It's something I have always kept for myself, and the fact of speaking about it just made it too real and I couldn't take it.

"How? With your powers?" At this point of the conversation all of them were paying attention to what we said.

"Kind of...I can give life, but I can also...take it. But in the moment I don't...I can't control it...If my body feels I'm in danger it will do anything to keep me alive and..." I couldn't, I felt I was going to cry but I managed to not do it.

"I'm not feeling well, excuse me." I got up and went straight to my room and closed the door. This is not the way I want them to see me, like a freaking child. I tried to breathe slowly to relax myself because I felt my hands shaking and I tried with all my self not to cry. I thought I had assumed that accident, but the fact that I've never shared it with anyone made it like less real. Like if it was a myth. Maybe she was used to killing, if you ever could get used to it, but I couldn't. Someone knocked on the door.

"I-I'm fine." I tried my voice to sound convincing but it was easily noticeable I wasn't. Nat and Wanda opened the door and came inside my room.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean this." Nat apologized with a sad expression and Wanda put a hand on my shoulder. We sat on the bed.

"Do you want to talk about it? You may feel better." I knew Wanda was trying to comfort me and Nat too, but I couldn't content the tears anymore. It was not like I was crying like a baby, they were just tears, but I didn't feel sad or anything, just nervous, anxious. I haven't noticed but Pietro was in the room too, as well as Steve, Sam and Vision, who were gathering in the door. So I nodded and decided it was about time to confess.

"I've always have my powers, since I was born. I don't know how or where do they come from. Definitely not from my dad, and I didn't had the chance to meet my mom. Apparently there were some problems during my birth. I was almost dead inside my mom and the doctors were sure I wouldn't make it. But in the last moment apparently my mom fainted and her pulse was lower and lower...until she died. They managed to take me out and I was way more healthy than what they expected. They thought it was a miracle." I stopped for a second to take a deep breath. Wanda held my hand as I continued.

"My dad never forgave me, he blamed me everyday. We hardly ever talked about mom. I spent most of my childhood alone. He was never a dad, he hardly ever took care of me. When I was 15 I run away, and I haven't heard about him since then. I know all of this because I went to the hospital when I was about 18 to know more, and the doctors told me what happened." I paused again as I was going to say what I've never wanted to assume.

"I killed my mom. This stupid gift did. It did everything to keep me alive. And it can happen again. There are things I still don't control..." I stopped there. I thought I was going to feel bad, but instead I felt relieved. Like if I had dropped a huge weight.

"It was not your fault. It's impossible you could have control it." Pietro said. He meant it like if he had felt the same way.

"Your gift has saved more people than you think. You should be proud. We will help you controlling it." Steve seemed concerned about this. They started to go back to their normal issues. Nat apologized a couple of times, but I actually thanked her. I spent the whole afternoon with Nat and Wanda, talking about nothing and everything, stuff we liked and so. We talked about boys, specially about Wanda and Vision who seemed to be really close. Nat mentioned that they were still looking for Bruce, Bruce Banner I guessed. They haven't had news about him since Sokovia. I didn't have much to tell in the boys conversation. I've never had a boyfriend or nothing like that. Wanda wondered about who was the most attractive of the Avengers, and she did it knowing what my answer would be. I said Pietro, too convinced and too fast.

The rest of the evening was chill and relaxed, we had dinner and then I went to my room to finish Hamlet. I went to bed early because I wanted to start training tomorrow, and I needed to be ready and fresh. I felt pretty good, almost no pain and I was very motivated after today's chat. I woke up at 7:30, had shower and put my training clothes on, which very similar to the ones I wore in Sokovia. I joined everyone in the living room while they had breakfast.

"Are you coming today?" Pietro seemed really excited about it. He rushed beside me with a mug filled with coffee.

"Oh yeah and I'm gonna kick your ass!" I grabbed the mug while I made silly boxing punches to Pietro's arm, which for him was less than a tickle. We kept joking like that until we left the house and headed to the headquarters. They had like a system so everyday they'd train different skills. Today I had self defense with Wanda, and Steve was teaching us. He started easy, he showed us a few moves and then we had to replay them individually. It was not easy, but luckily I had coordination and agility.

The whole morning was based on repeating those moves, and use them against an enemy, which for now was either a mannequin or a hologram. We were not allowed to use our powers, which was hard to control taking into account you had to focus on different spots. We ended the morning pretty exhausted, as Steve was very demanding. And that was all we did for the next weeks. I spent the mornings training, and I was getting good in some skills. Shooting was not my thing, at all, but I was kind of good at boxing, self defense and all the physical stuff. We also dedicated some days to power control, which was very interesting. Vision was the expert in the field and he tried to help Wanda, Pietro and me.

But as the nature of our powers were different, the way of controlling them was too. My powers, or the part that I could not control, depended on the outside, on the danger that I could felt I was into. It was triggered by outside factors. It was like an independent entity that just reacted when I could be in danger. But Wanda's and Pietro's powers were really tied to their feelings. If they felt nervous, afraid or anxious their ability to control themselves was reduced. Maybe they were not in any danger, but if they felt bad, it'd be harder for them to control it. For Pietro it was tougher, basically because his powers made him be impatient. He once told me that he saw everything in slow-motion, but that he was getting used to it. I didn't completely believed that, it had to be a nightmare sometimes. I usually spent the rest of the day with him and Wanda, if she wasn't with Vision. Nat had her own issues, as well as Steve and Sam, who apparently were looking for an old friend.

So Pietro and I spent a lot of time together, most of it we joked around and pranked people at the labs, including Helen. We were like kids, which was understandable. Wanda told me they were orphaned at 10 and Pietro took care of her. He dedicated his entire childhood to take care of her, and her of Pietro too. They had to act like adults and worry about things that kids can't even imagine at that age. They had to mature pretty fast, so it's normal that now they just wanted to have fun, they deserved it. My case was similar, but I chose to leave my house. I assumed the consequences of that choice and I lived in the streets for about 4 years, until I found Helen. It was hard, but my powers made it easier to survive and make a living, finding poorly paid jobs, but it was enough. And now we just wanted to have fun, live without those worries.

One day we were hiding in the library after pranking some scientists and we sat on the couches placed in the center of the room and I was staring at his white hair.

"I'm sorry but I have to ask, why the white hair? You didn't dye it right?" I've been wanting to ask him for some weeks now, but I thought it was kind of rude. "I mean, it looks good on you, but I'm just curious." He smiled at me, he knew I didn't mean it in a bad way.

"Well, no, I didn't dye it, I'm not that insane. But there are two theories." I listened closely what he said, I was too curious.

"My theory is that it's because of my powers. As those assholes messed with our genes, maybe they touched some regarding hair color. Because I had dark brown hair before. Wanda's theory is a bit more tricky, but it makes more sense than mine. She says it's because of the stress."

"Stress?"

"Let me explain it. At first it was very hard for me to control my skills. We didn't have any training, but for Wanda was easier. For me it was a nightmare. I'd just start running without controlling it, and we were literally caged in small rooms, so I smashed against the walls. I could take it, I could heal, so the pain was bearable. The worst part was when I wanted to sleep, because it didn't stop. I just run towards the walls at night and I couldn't sleep again. And it's hard to sleep even now, I don't get tired and I don't really need to rest my body, but my mind does, and sometimes is really hard to force myself to sleep. To all of this add that everything is slower for me. Imagine being caged for months in a room where nothing happened and living it in slow-motion. So I got really stressed and anxious, depressed and as a result my hair started turning white. I thought I'd go crazy, but eventually, when they trusted us, they let me run in the outside and I started to control it."

He finished talking and I could see he was sad by his expression, his eyes didn't lie. I couldn't stop staring at him. It was not fair that he had gone though that much. I just wanted to hug him, it broke me seeing him that way. So I stood up and hugged him a tight as I could. He also embraced me and we stayed like that for some seconds.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked..."

"No, no, it's fine." He let go to face me. "I don't mind talking with you about my past. It actually helps." His smirk seemed true, so I just nodded.

"We should go back." He agreed, picked me up and rushed back home. We had dinner all together, which was already a habit. Sam, Pietro and I went upstairs to play some PS4 for a while. When I was ready to get in my bed some hours before I heard a knock on the door. It was Pietro, who was not wearing a t-shirt, I assumed because he slept like that, but anyway it was a pleasant view.

"I just wanted to thank you for listening me, and you know be my partner in crimes." He leaned on the wall near the door smiling.

"Oh, it's a pleasure." I said joking. "Good night Pietro."

"Good night" he was already in the corridor when he turned back and added.

"You know, I..." but he hesitated and didn't finish. "Nothing. Good night." He then disappeared in the corridor and entered his room.