April 27th, 1985
He hadn't died yet, but Urey had to admit, keeping up with his grandfather was a lot harder than it used to be. So, on days when he couldn't run with grandpa because of early mornings at the dairy, Urey tried to make a point of taking long walks and jogs in the afternoon to build his stamina back up. He was aware he probably looked ridiculous, puffing up the country lanes in ill-fitting black sweats, but it was better than doing nothing now that he'd decided he wanted to try and get back into better shape. Not that he was in lousy shape. Working at a dairy wasn't exactly a slouch kind of job, but he'd certainly been trimmer.
Still, he wasn't expecting to run into Raina in the middle of the day, out in the middle of the country on a dirt road he liked to take mostly because it was remote enough almost no one used it.
"Urey!" She waved as she caught up to him and slowed to a walk. "I wasn't expecting to see you out here," she smiled, face flushed from exhilaration, a lovely healthy pink above her lavender track suit. "I didn't know you liked running."
"I don't," Urey admitted, before he realized it sounded silly.
That got a laugh out of her. "Well, I can't blame you there. I-ah- had noticed you looked like you were working out. Now I know where you've been vanishing to."
She had noticed? Urey tried not to look embarrassed, but he figured his face was flushed enough from running she wouldn't have noticed anything anyway. "I prefer privacy," he admitted.
"I do too, though I don't mind company from time to time." Raina commented. "You know I don't mind right?"
Urey looked up from the road in front of him to look at her. "Mind what?"
"That you aren't shaped like a model."
"I'm working out," Urey replied, feeling a bit flustered. What did she mean?
"I know that. I'm just saying, it's okay."
"I'm not doing it just for you."
"I didn't say you were," she chuckled softly. "Just that it doesn't change what I think of you. Actually, I think it's great that you're doing it, just don't think I think less of you for having to."
Was she really saying what he thought she was? This was not a conversation Urey had ever had with a woman. "Well there's a new viewpoint from a girl."
"Not that I'm telling you to give up and stuff your face," she chided. "But I know what it's like. Losing weight can be a bear."
Urey looked in surprise at her. Okay, so maybe Raina wasn't as slim as Cayla had been, but his wife had been frail. Raina had some very nice curves, but he wouldn't call her heavy; just a normal… healthy woman. "You do?"
At that, she laughed brightly. "That may be the best compliment I've gotten in years." She nodded. "When I was little, I was the chubby kid, and when I got a little older, I hated it, but I found out the hard way it's really hard for me to lose weight. Most of my family has it tough, especially on my father's side."
"Well you don't look like it."
Raina blushed, and it was clearly not running related. "Thanks. I worked really hard through high school and college. Since then I've done my best not to put it back on, because I never want to have to go through that again," she said, making a face. "Still, I've learned to enjoy running, when I have someplace nice to run through."
Urey understood that. "So… you don't mind big guys?"
"I like cuddling," she admitted, her cheeks going rosy. "Though I'm certainly not going to complain about healthy living. It just means I shouldn't be cooking you my mother's favorite recipes, since most of them involve frying in butter," she added when he pouted.
"I like a woman who can cook," Urey replied without thinking.
"And I like a man who appreciates good cooking," Raina replied. "It's a must-have in my boyfriends."
"I…ah…" So much for smooth.
Raina's face flushed deeper. "I'm sorry…. Did I push too much? I—"
"No." Urey stopped moving, but reached out and caught her hand, making her stop walking. Raina turned and looked up at him. Thousands of words welled up inside Urey that he wanted to say; telling her that after six years he was actually ready to move on… because he'd met her, that he felt alive again for the first time in a long time, because of her. That suddenly the world had meaning, his reasons for existing made sense again… but he didn't need to ramble on about his painful past. She knew all that. "No," he smiled. "What you said was just right."
May 4th, 1985
From his parents' porch, Ian had a clear view of Raina and Urey as they walked hand-in-hand out of sight down the road, this evening with Yurian skipping ahead of them. The three of them were having dinner. Even as he felt grateful that his brother had finally found someone who stirred his interest in life again, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy.
He turned and made his way down and around the house towards his father's workshop, where he raided the small refrigerator in which he could always count on there being at least one or two cold beers. He knew it took his father months to go through a small supply. Grabbing one, he went out behind the workshop and leaned against the wall, staring out over the fields and streams to the mountains beyond. The sun was starting to go down, and the sky was alive with colors, even as the shadows lengthened over the countryside.
Oh how he had wanted to show Bonnie this view someday. Ian popped the lid and took a long, slow swig.
"And I thought drinking out behind the workshop was supposed to be my thing."
Ian turned his head and shrugged at his father. "It's a good place to think."
"That it is." Aldon leaned up against the back of the building, sipping from a glass of iced tea. "So, what's had you moping about the whole time you've been home?"
"I haven't been that bad."
"Not for anyone else, but usually you're an unending source of energy. You've been preoccupied," Aldon pointed out.
"And you think you know why?"
His father nodded. "I know a heart-sick expression when I see it. Things aren't going well with your friend Bonnie, am I right?"
Ian took another sip of his beer. Of course his father had noticed. He wasn't stupid. "Friend is too optimistic a word. We... aren't on speaking terms."
Aldon's brows creased with concern. "What happened?"
"We just haven't been getting along," Ian replied, aware that it sounded evasive. "Almost every time we talk it turns into an argument. I just don't get her!" he exclaimed, letting his frustration out. "She acts like a jealous girlfriend, but she won't let me get closer to her than general friendship. At least we had that for a while. Now she's not even speaking to me."
"Did she do something to make you mad?"
"Not particularly, unless you count turning everything into a fight."
"What did you do to make her mad?"
"Why do you assume I did something?" Ian stared at his father.
Aldon just raised an eyebrow.
Ian grumbled. "It's like everything I am, everything I do, is wrong to her. She doesn't like the roles I'm playing. She avoids me when I'm honest about my feelings."
"So, maybe she really isn't into you," Aldon suggested.
"No!" Ian objected loudly. "I- I can't accept that." He looked down at the bottle in his hand. Bonnie would have been mad at him for that too, and it was just one beer. But she had her reasons, even if she did have no give on some things. He knew about her father. "I'd do anything to be with her."
"Even give up your career?"
Stunned, Ian stopped mid-objection. He wanted to say of course, but would he? It was his livelihood, his passion. "She'd never ask me to do that."
"That doesn't answer my question."
"I can't answer," Ian admitted reluctantly. "And I can't shake the feeling she likes me, but she's afraid. She's been burned, badly, twice, that I know of, but she's never told me much about either of them. I've tried to be patient, but she's driving me crazy! I'm not either of those guys!"
His father didn't respond immediately. Instead, he looked out at the setting sun, and drank his tea. "You know, it sounds to me like you haven't done much to prove you love her."
"How can I?" Ian argued, turning his frown from the ground to his father. "If I even bring up my feelings, or romance, we end up fighting. How am I supposed to show how I feel when she won't let me?"
"Maybe you're both doing it wrong."
Well that was a useful answer. "And just what am I supposed to be doing, love expert?" "It's not all about you, it's about her… it's about both of you," his father replied seriously. "You have to show you're serious in the ways she needs from you, and she needs to do the same. I can't think of a lot of women who want to watch their significant other feeling up other women. How would you feel if the roles were reversed, and she was doing steamy naked scenes with some bigshot like Gill Hartman?"
"I wouldn't like it," Ian admitted. Hartman was about a decade older than he was, and could pretty much take any role he wanted. He never lacked for offers. "But those are my bread-and-butter right now. Popular or not, longevity in this business isn't a sure thing. I'm not at a point in my career where I can turn down a lot of well-paying roles. If I do, people will start taking them elsewhere."
"Branch out," Aldon suggested. "Audition for other roles. There are tons of roles you could play that don't involve making movies your mother won't watch."
"Mom doesn't watch all my movies?" Ian felt like he'd taken a punch.
"She says she saw enough of your backside when you were in diapers."
Well, he should have figured there were some of his movies his mother wouldn't have watched. Actually, that was probably a good thing. "And you?"
"I'm your old man. I've seen everything you've done, but I don't tend to go in for much of that in film." He grinned suddenly. "Your mother is way cuter than any of those actresses."
Ian shook his head. "I do audition for other movies, but I just haven't been cast in them often."
"So keep trying." Aldon looked back out at the countryside behind the house. "If Bonnie matters to you that much, than even if it's just "for work" you're not going to prove you're committed to any relationship. What about other women?"
His father meant had he been seeing other women. "I haven't dated anyone lately," he replied. "I gave that up. I gave up going to the after parties. I just don't know how much more I have to give up before it's enough." The last came out bitterly.
"No wonder she doesn't want to go out with you."
Ian's grip tightened on the bottle. If it had been a can it would have been crushed. "Are you siding with her?"
"Well, you sound awfully selfish. Are those things so important to you that it bothers you that much? Do they matter more than Bonnie, or her happiness? Than her reassurance that you aren't going to move on to someone else, or turn into one of those celebrities who turns into a drunk, abusive jerk?"
"I'm not even close to being one of those guys!" How could his father even say that? "And she knows that," he added stubbornly.
"Ian, you're not dealing with an idealist." Aldon shook his head, not rising to Ian's anger, "Or a child. From what you've told me the few times we've talked, you're not her first relationship, and other men hurt her, men she thought she could trust her heart to. Even if she knows part of you, it's going to take a lot more time and caring for her to get past those kinds of experiences. If you can't be selfless enough to not feel put upon to take care of a heart like that, and if she can't get manage to see that you're a good guy, than you need to accept that you're not a good match and move on. But-" he put up a hand, forestalling the enraged shout that Ian felt coming up out of him, "If you really love her, than you need to stop feeling like you've been inconvenienced, or that it's somehow unfair. It's not fair... to either of you. It's not fair that you're dealing with the remains of other men's actions, but just as it's not your fault, that's not entirely Bonnie's fault either, is it? She was willing to be friends with you. In fact, from what you've told me, she's been a very good friend to you. If she's jealous, than she probably does care about you quite a lot. So if you want her, grow a pair and figure out how to make it work."
It was a lot to take in, but Ian found himself startled out of reverie by his father's last words. "I can't believe you just told me to grow a pair."
"I can't believe you needed me to tell you." Aldon's smile reappeared, this time a little more reassuring. "I'm not going to tell you what you have to do. That's not my job anymore, but only you can decide what your priorities really are." He laid a hand on Ian's shoulder. "Have you tried calling her?"
"Repeatedly." Ian looked down at the ground. "She never answers and she hasn't called me back." He had left two messages on her answering machine. They were useful in their line of work. Ian had bought one himself so he wouldn't have to worry about missing important audition calls.
"Keep trying." Aldon removed his hand as he turned back towards the house. "Your mother said to tell you dinner will be ready in half an hour."
"Thanks." Ian watched his father leave, then looked at the bottle in his hand. He had made a lot of very good points, even if they weren't what Ian wanted to hear. If Bonnie was reacting out of fear, then maybe he didn't know everything he should. He couldn't control that, but he could control himself. He could choose who he wanted to be, who the real Ian was.
Then, he just had to get Bonnie to talk to him.
May 8th, 1985
Ethan had eagerly agreed to meet Lily and Randy at the train station when they arrived back from East City for the summer. He had tried not to seem too excited, but he was ready to have his baby girl back for a while. Eamon would be home soon as well, but as he was coming from farther away, he wouldn't be arriving for another couple of weeks.
Lily had been happy and excited on the phone, and Ethan was glad she had gotten through her first year of college with a positive experience.
So he and Lia, who didn't have to teach since she had just finished grading finals, drove over to the train station to meet them.
"Now remember," Lia said as they stood on the platform, "You have to be nice to Randy."
"I've always been nice to Randy," Ethan objected. "I'm letting him date my daughter, aren't I? I've never threatened him with bodily harm."
"That's not the same as being nice," Lia scolded gently.
"I'm teasing, love." Ethan slipped his arm around her shoulders. "Of course I'll be nice to him. He hasn't given me a reason to hate him yet."
"As long as you understand that what matters is Lily's happiness and her decision." Lia relented though, leaning into his shoulder just a bit.
Ethan meant it about not hating the boy. He and Lily had dated for a large portion of high school, and Randy had never given Ethan a reason not to trust him. He and Lily had never been late coming home from a date, and he had abided by every rule regarding Lily that Ethan and Lia had set. As far as he could tell, the couple had never had a major fight about anything. They were very in sync with each other.
Finally, the train pulled into the station.
After what seemed an eternity of scanning the crowd for familiar faces, Ethan heard a delighted squeal followed moments later by his daughter appearing out of the crowd and hurtling first at her mother, whom she enveloped in an enthusiastic hug that Lia returned. Then Lily turned to her father and did the same.
Ethan enfolded his daughter in his arms, and hugged her tightly. "Welcome home, Lily."
"Thanks, Daddy," she smiled up at him. "It's good to be home. We had a long trip.
There was that we. Ethan looked up and saw Randy standing next to the luggage, looking amused. Ethan smiled. "I'm sure. Train seats aren't known for being comfortable." Ethan remembered many train trips in cheap seats, snuggled up against Lia, as they used each other as mutual pillows.
Randy shrugged a little uncomfortably, as if he knew what Ethan was thinking. "That they aren't, sir," he agreed.
"But we have to tell you the best part," Lily smiled, looking flushed with happiness as she stepped back a little, so she could hold up her hand. Suddenly in Ian's view was a ring that sparkled with gold and tiny jewels of white and amethyst. "We're engaged!"
Ethan was sure his mind was playing tricks on him. Surely she hadn't said… but Lia was beaming, and hugging her daughter again, and now hugging Randy, while Ethan's brain felt like it had momentarily turned to fog. "You're… engaged." Now Lily was looking at him expectantly, hopefully, bright eyed and happy. Ethan shook himself mentally, and smiled. "Congratulations honey." He hugged his daughter again, and then shook Randy's hand. Of the two of them, only Randy looked at all worried. You should be, kid. You should be.
By the time Ethan felt like his head was on straight again, they had somehow managed to all get into the car, and he had driven them back to the house. He wanted to boot Randy out at his parents, but Lia had invited him to dinner.
Aeddan, who was home from school by then, was far more excited about his sister's announcement than Ethan was, and babbled excitedly, asking all sorts of questions—mostly about college—of both Lily and Randy as the two college kids pitched in, helping Lia make dinner.
Ethan was still reeling. His baby girl was engaged? They had only finished one year of college. He tried to keep himself from panicking, but was it was difficult. "So, when were you thinking of having the wedding?" he asked as they were all finally sitting down to the table, expecting that it would probably be a couple of years. There was no reason to freak out.
"Oh, June," Lily responded.
"Of next year?"
"No, this June."
Ethan almost choked on his glass of milk. "Isn't that a little short notice for planning?"
"Well, we've given it a lot of thought," Lily explained. "We don't want a really big ceremony, just immediate family and a few close friends and relatives. Eamon will be home by then. Alyse said she'd be happy to organize it so—"
"Wait, Alyse knows?" His cousin knew, and she hadn't said anything?
"Well we couldn't very well start planning this late, could we?" Lily asked, though for the first time she seemed to notice he wasn't completely thrilled with the idea. "I know it's fast, Daddy, but we really don't need a lot of time to get everything ready, and it means saving a lot of money for school if we're not paying for two dorms for the next three years. They have some apartments on campus for married students that cost the same as a dorm room. We knew we wanted to get married, so it seemed sensible to just go ahead and do it."
Ethan wanted to argue, but he couldn't come up with anything coherent that was also reasonable. Lia didn't seem upset. In fact, she seemed as genuinely excited as everyone else. Finally, Ethan gave in to the inevitable and nodded. "So, June it is! Just let me know what you want, Lily, and it's covered."
"Thank you, Daddy." That earned him another hug-around-the-neck and a kiss on the cheek.
Later, after Ian and Lily had run Randy home to his parents' place, Ethan took a long, hot shower. As he got ready for bed, he was surprised by Lia coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around him. "Thank you," she said into his back.
"For what?" he asked as he turned so he could see her instead.
"For not freaking out earlier." She smiled up at him. "You made Lily very happy."
"You know I would never do anything to hurt her on purpose," he said, hugging his wife. "I still feel like it's rushing things, but they're not kids anymore, and it's not really my choice, is it? I can be part of this, and pay for the wedding she's always dreamed of, or I can be the guy who ruins everything. I'm really not inclined to be the latter."
"How very sensible of you." Lia kissed him.
Ethan smiled around her lips. "Does sensible get rewarded?"
"I think something can be arranged."
