Chapter VII: Mind Numbing

Orihime could vaguely feel the warm rays of the bright sun wash over her entire being as her eyes remained closed. Though her mind was gradually slipping back to reality she longed for this state of complete comfort to last just a bit longer. This pillow where her head rested was soft and oh so warm that she couldn't help but bury her face further into it. Her arms wrapped around it in an attempt to bring it closer, but when the texture of her supposed pillow became silky her eyes snapped open and her entire body became rigid. Slowly she looked around to find that she was no longer resting in her own room but on her couch. Just as she was about to move she felt something beneath her slowly breathe in and out; her mind went blank while a blush streamed through her face in sudden embarrassment as realization slowly dawned on her. She slowly tilted her head upward, slightly fearful that he would be awake, but once she saw that his eyes were closed in peaceful slumber she let out a soft sigh of relief. Looking at her position she found why she felt so comfortable in the first place. She was lying on top of his form, her legs tucked between his own and his arms wrapped loosely around her back. Now she knew why she was so warm but it suddenly went from comforting warmth to a burning heat. She tried fiercely to hold back any sound of embarrassment that rose in her throat.

Yes, it was true that there were people who moved around in their sleep, many times Orihime herself has fallen off her own bed from tossing and turning to find a comfortable position; it was worse in winter, but this time had certainly taken the cake. Calmly, or as much as she could, she tried to find a way to get out of this simple yet dire position; physical comfort was certainly not worth humiliation besides her mind was already too much awake to drift back to sleep even if this was a perfect day to just sleep in and do nothing. She moved her arm a bit to push against a cushion and slowly raised herself away from him, using her other arm to softly nudge away his arm from around her back. So far, nothing happened, now all she had to do was find a way to move her legs without waking him, unfortunately there didn't seem to be enough room for her to move them.

Just as she was about to at least try, Muramasa must have felt the absence of her warmth and shifted a bit bringing up one knee and turned his head to sink it further into the pillow that was partially under his head. Using the small gap, Orihime managed to move around until she finally, after what seemed like forever, ended up sitting on the floor looking completely exhausted from having to use so much energy by being subtle.

Happy that she successfully got up without disturbing his sleep she moved to walk to her room where she could change her clothing for the day. Reaching the hall she stopped to glance at her sleeping friend with a soft gaze. She recalled the events that had happened and though she felt like a fool for crying she honestly did feel better.

Walking back to the couch she grabbed the doll that was lying near his leg and moved it to sit atop his chest. The sight of the little toy on his chest as he slept was enough to make her smile. She once again looked at his peaceful expression; throughout the whole time he was with her in her home he always held some type of guard over his features. He didn't smile often and was sometimes too deep in his own thoughts to enjoy anything even when they ate together; there was no reactions to it, not one of dislike but not one of enjoyment either just neutral. She wanted him to be normal, just himself not someone who was haunted by the past and she truly thought that if he was able to find someone to love then he wouldn't look so lonely anymore.

His sleep seemed to be dreamless; he wasn't moving around much or saying anything this time either, she assumed that was a good thing. For a while she continued to watch him as she entered her own thoughts.

Before she could find a solution or make a move something swift and at the same time slow stopped her. Her eyes widened at the dark thin reminder that trailed down from his eye slowly, forcing her to remember that he was not well at all. From the beginning it was known that as he was, he would not last much longer. The only question that could be asked at this point was one that she dared not ask at all for the answer was clear.

If he truly did not want to deal with the pain then he would have already resigned himself to the long sleep, but the truth of the matter was revealed the night before. Though the crimson liquid streamed quietly down his face, he still remained undisturbed. Orihime's smile faded into a worried frown.

"Muramasa-san…" She called softly.

For a moment there was no reaction making her wonder if she should call out again instead she continued to look at him until he exhaled a breath and slowly opened his eyes to reveal the beautiful turquoise surrounded by red looking back at her.

He neither looked shocked or surprised at seeing her looking back at him in slight concern. His eyes may have given the impression of boredom when in actuality he was quite content just as he was regardless that his little illness was acting up. The atmosphere around them suddenly stilled into that of uncertainty as their eyes remained locked to each other.

Muramasa could feel the pressure of a cough rise slowly into the back of is throat; there was a burning sensation spreading throughout his chest making him long for sleep once more. His very being was calling out to someone, that anchor that would end such discomfort but he hushed his own suffering, knowing there was not much that could be done about it. Calmly, he rose into a sitting position, dropping the doll in the process, and wiped away the trail of blood with the back of his hand, never did he leave her gaze.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

No.

"I am fine. It will pass soon." He cleared his throat to rid the nuisance of the rising cough and stayed still, waiting for her to speak or move. Orihime instead gave him an annoyed face to which he paid no mind.

"You really shouldn't hide it, Muramasa-san. If you don't take care of it soon it'll just get worse." She brought her hands to lightly touch her hairpins and summoned them forth to ease his pain. Soundlessly he watched her concentrate on her work as the red gradually faded along with the stifling cough but the burning had yet to cease and as the light tried to reject it seemed to be taking quite a bit of time before it too began to relent and diminish into nothing. Once the soft glow vanished and the fairies returned to their respective form Muramasa looked away to look at the window where he sun rays seeped through.

"It's a nice day don't you think?" She smiled, picking up the forgotten doll from the floor and lightly patting it free of the invisible dust. "Why don't we go out today? It seems like a waste to just stay in doors and watch it from afar. I could show you around more since I didn't have much time during the week." She rose and paused near the entrance of the hall to wait for his answer.

"That sounds pleasant." He mumbled half because he was still asleep and the other half trying to find a way to go about his incomplete plan. Orihime smiled brightly before disappearing to her room with the doll still in her grasp. She was having way too much fun with carrying it around most of the time, but it didn't bother him much.

He rubbed his head and let out a short yawn. Though she yet again managed to keep the darkness at bay it was just a matter of time before it would become too much to keep away. Regardless how much human he seemed now, he was still a zanpakutou and as a zanpakutou he was considered broken. They, the shinigamis, saw him nothing more than a human, meaning he could pose no threat. What a joke that was, their research and technology may be the best but they can never truly understand the workings of a zanpakutou at least not one like him.

They claimed without proof he could do no harm, then as such he should not even be physically seen, touched, or heard.

No, he still had hold of himself, still had the ability to use his blade as he saw fit and, though not by much, use his other abilities with manipulation and illusions. He glanced down at his hands recalling the feeling of using his power without the help of anyone but the claws of the hollows and the rapid progression of the illness. Becoming hollow now was not his intention and there were no longer any enemies around so his only choice is to refrain from using any of his powers without a real cause. From time to time, this would occur; the coughing and the sickness, the pain and the longing all of it would well up and flow out in the form of scarlet tears and the flickering flame inside his very being. Most of the times Orihime was not near and thus he usually kept it in check unless it became too much. She told him not to hide it, but when you hide something it usually means that the person does not want what they currently have to change. He certainly did not wish to create a gap between them; however, should anything progress he would have to do just that.

He didn't want to lose her but she had a right to know how he felt in everyway after all they were alike, him and her. Orihime said so as well but that did not mean she would share his feelings. He could hear her taking a shower from where he sat. His time was growing short and it both frightened and angered him, there was no known way to keep a zanpakutou without a master, it was a miracle that he stayed sane for such a long time apart from Kouga. His soul was incomplete as it was now only half of what he used to be. He sighed, this was turning out to be useless thinking.

There was no more time to waste on thinking, he had to do something, say something and do something if only to just get his point across and let her know and let her be aware of what he truly wanted. He wanted to heal his heart in a way so that he could be content and not fight against his own twisted soul. Once his heart was healed…but that was too far, soon they'll be going out for the day; he will find some way to say it.

The sound of the shower disappeared and after a few minutes Orihime came out looking refreshed and lively once more.

"Before we go anywhere would you like some breakfast?" She asked, making her way to the kitchen to prepare something. Muramasa said nothing as he followed her; Orihime knew him enough to take it as a 'yes'. Her cooking was still odd, adding such things as hot sauce with chocolate on her eggs and bacon. Aside from the chocolate it was a fairly simple breakfast that would be enough for the two, though Muramasa chose not to comment on her cooking skills he did agree with her friends that some of her dishes were a bit odd. Nonetheless he ate whatever was given to him except for those few times where Orihime added a bit too much extra ingredients that he couldn't really recall what it was supposed to be but had ate it anyway with slight consequences to his poor stomach. Fortunately those were very rare and luckily nothing he couldn't handle.

They finished in comfortable silence and after cleaning the dishes and setting them back, they left with Orihime taking her bag and sneaking the little doll she still had into it then locked the front door. The first place they went to was a park that was filled with children playing and couples roaming and enjoying each others company. The atmosphere was light and lively for the two who simply looked around.

On their little trip Orihime caught sight of a bakery shop that wasn't there a few weeks ago. "Hey Muramasa-san, lets check it out!" She tugged at him towards the small shop until the bell attached to the door signaled their entrance. An employee welcomed them warmly and patiently awaited their orders.

"Which one would you like, Muramasa-san?" She asked as she gazed at the sweets with adoration. Designs on sweets were always cute and made people smile no matter what. Muramasa glanced through the glass container to look at the many displays of the pastry and then at a small menu of drinks that was on top of the counter. He wasn't one to indulge in sweets and he hardly ate any of them so he couldn't really tell what would taste good, not even the drinks. He let out a little sigh; he closed his eyes and turned away from the glass.

"Whatever you choose will be fine with me." He stated simply.

Orihime smiled and asked for a few of the sweets and a bottle of green tea. When everything was given and paid for they left with a bagful of small cakes and other snacks. She handed the bottle of green tea to him while she thought of other places they could go.

"Was it really necessary to get this many items?" He eyed the bag wondering if she was actually considering eating everything in one day. He had seen Sogyo no Kotowari eat through bags of candy and cakes in the time at soul society and they were literally bouncing all around the walls and annoying the other zanpakutou to death specifically Katen Kyokotsu. They even managed to get the silent small one in their little sugar high which angered the busty woman further. He was extremely glad they left him alone just to suffer their clamoring noise rather than get caught up in their over hyper games. So he was left to wonder if Orihime would be the same.

"Well it's not only for me, we can share besides eating sweets is fun and even more so with a friend!" She reached into the bag and took out a small chocolate cake with a strawberry set at the top of the chocolate frosting.

"Here, try it!" He glanced at the cake as though it were a stranger before taking it and taking a small bite. Though it was a small bite, it was a small cake therefore it was now only half a cake. It was overly sweet and smooth; the frosting was smooth against his tongue which was pleasant to him even though he wasn't one to usually eat these sorts of things it served to make her happy so there was no reason to complain.

"You have frosting on your nose and on your chin." She giggled when he wiped it away almost glaring at it.

"You know you kinda remind me of a panda." She pointed at her eye indicating she meant the markings surrounding his.

"You look kind of intimidating when you get angry but when you relax it looks cute like a panda!"

He never considered his own image since he was just a reflection of his master's soul but now that it had come to subject he didn't seem to have an explanation to them; a small detail that meant nothing but still, her comment stirred something warm in him making him not want to ruin the flow o how everything went.

"Is there any place you want to see?" She asked as he handed the half eaten snack back to her to either eat or put away. Chocolate could sometimes make you full with one bite considering its level sweetness. He looked around to see if there was, but there wasn't really anything that caught his interest enough to investigate it. Just as he was about to face forward and speak he caught sight of something orange among all the other people. Taking another look it was Ichigo who seemed to be yelling at someone next to him. He stopped to look and see who else was with him which in turn made Orihime look as well.

"Oh, it's Kurosaki-kun! Let's go say hi." Muramasa wasn't really sure if he wanted to speak to the substitute shinigami, but the girl was being really persistent in meeting her friends. He wasn't one to disobey her seeing as he relinquished his being as a zanpakutou to her, although not officially it still made him act upon her will. He didn't know why he suddenly wanted to distance himself from them, but something inside was telling him it wouldn't fare well. After last night, something seemed odd about Orihime when she had said that she was sad that the one she loved may not share that feeling with her, he wasn't one to pry into other's personal life but he could almost plainly see that whom she was referring to was in front of them.

They managed to get through the crowd of individuals and with a shout they met them near an electronics store. Orihime beamed at the sight of her two friends as they stood looking back at her from their little bickering.

"Hello Orihime, Muramasa." Ichigo greeted calmly, glancing down at the sour faced shinigami who looked away from them in anger. Sensing the rather tense atmosphere Orihime looked at the two with confusion.

"Did something happen?" Orihime asked still looking between the two.

"Yes, stupid strawberry face here ruined my little rabbit toy that you got for me last time! He spilled syrup on it and then the knife magically fell from his grip and stabbed it straight through its poor heart!" She growled angrily. Ichigo groaned as he slapped a hand to his face and dragged it down his face.

"I said I'd buy you a new one!" Rukia turned away from him with a scowl on her face and her eyes tearing up a bit. They bickered back and forth for quite some time before Muramasa was starting to get annoyed with their squawking and Orihime didn't really know how to stop the two's fighting. It was getting to the point where their yelling match was starting to attract pedestrians and not one to be under so many gazes Muramasa acted without really thinking. With the aching headache already pounding against his skull he grabbed the twos heads and forced them towards each other into a kiss.

Their eyes widened considerably at the sudden contact along with a bleeding blush rising all over their face and neck. Orihime let out a small gasp and a light blush appearing on her own cheeks at the sudden movement her companion made. The two didn't even notice that Muramasa removed his hands and watched with a sour expression as the two stayed frozen in place not knowing if they should move or not…until they ran out of breath.

Their faces were still red when they parted and stared at each other before looking at Muramasa with anger, confusion, and embarrassment swirling through their eyes as they silently asked him what had made him do that.

"I have told you before I am a zanpakutou that manifest other zanpakutou by will. If I know your zanpakutou than I can easily know your own desires even if you do not acknowledge them yourself. Sode no Shirayuki was kind enough to share a bit of information with me."

"What are you talking about!" She questioned angrily as she flashed a look at Orihime, silently pleading with her to say something but the girl was too caught up in the stiff atmosphere to utter a word.

"I mean your little infatuation with Kurosaki." Ichigo shot her a confused and shocked look, waiting for her to reply but it seems that she couldn't come up with a come back.

"Come on! I said I'd go buy you a stupid rabbit so let's just go. See ya later Orihime, Muramasa." Ichigo shouted already flustered and angered enough that he didn't want to deal with complicating situations and simply jumped to a simpler tact of walking away with the speechless Rukia in tow. She looked back at the two with wide eyes and moved around to complain to the taller teen of his grip on her wrist.

Muramasa watched with a hard gaze as the two soon disappeared from sight; he knew what he did was rash and completely uncalled for, but they were causing a ruckus and he wasn't lying when he said that Sode no Shirayuki gave him some information. Along their journey together they seemed quite close even to the point where she resided with him in his closet and giving him the boost whenever he needed it. And when requiring background information without the shinigami knowing than whom better than the shinigami's own zanpakutou who was almost completely the same? A very easy way in getting information, but he certainly did not want enjoy revealing it in front of Orihime who saw the whole thing obviously.

Though he knew not of what Zangetsu had to say about Kurosaki since he didn't stay long enough for interrogation, there was a high chance that he had felt the same way with just the info he was given. He refused to look at Orihime, instead waiting for her to either say something or pull him along.

Instead of what he expected, she laughed lightly. Shocked to hear it he turned to her with confused eyes and silently inquired her as to what was so humorous.

"I knew it was obvious as well! Kurosaki-kun has always been good friends with Kuchiki-san I expected this would happen although I never really counted that you would do such a thing, Muramasa-san!" She continued to laugh until she brought a hand to his arm lightly pulling her towards the opposite direction of where they were headed.

They continued to walk in complete silence until they came back to the park. The morning had turned to the afternoon so there were not as many people around, probably out doing other things or it was simply lunch time. Whatever the case they came upon a lone and worn bench where they set down the bags and lightly snacked on the sweets. It was mostly Orihime who snacked on them while Muramasa simply stared at the ground with the green tea held loosely in his grip, still wondering of the events that had occurred earlier.

"Remember when I said that there was someone that I loved?" She asked Muramasa but didn't move her gaze away from the decorated cake held in her hands on a napkin. He nodded slightly.

"Well, I was right he does love another." She smiled looking so happy that it did nothing but baffle him. Should she not be sad that her own love was not recognized? Should she not feel some sort of negativity?

"I do not understand." He muttered looking thoughtfully down at the drink.

"I know it's kind of hard to understand. I mean I am sad of course, but I already cried to my heart's content last night and well I don't know; the heart is complicated at times." Her smile was still there as well as the light blush across her cheeks.

"Although I'm sad that he doesn't feel that way for me I am happy that there is someone he loves. Kuchiki-san has helped him through so many times whereas I still need to learn more about my own powers in order to help them more. I don't feel any resentment towards them, they're my friends. I just can't feel anything but happiness for them, maybe they could get closer, the very thought has me feeling extremely happy for them, but also very sad."

Well she was not lying about the complication of the heart, but right now if he were to tell her his feelings; it just didn't seem right time wise, but he still felt that he should.

"Tell me Muramasa-san, can zanpakutou feel such things toward others? I know that you are able to, I mean you said that you had someone that you cared for deeply somewhere, but are there others?" She asked hoping to change the subject if only to ease the atmosphere; it was still a nice day.

"Of course, we are no different than any other being just as the shinigami resemble humans yet possess power, we zanpakutou are the same but are only seen under normal circumstances, by our masters. But they do have some connection, which could rival their bonds, towards others. Senbonzakura and Sode no Shirayuki are an example of this."

The conversation was beginning to get very dry at this point for the sake of not losing the carefree time. Of course zanpakutou were no different than their masters and humans, they had a conscience only inside a sword. He could feel that she was beginning to lose interest in the day as well; the heart was truly complicated and stupid to put it bluntly; a treacherous thing indeed.

"Would you like to go home?" He asked quietly. Orihime shook her head, so many times she would get all depressed all alone at home and she feared that even with Muramasa near she would only spread her gloominess. "Actually, I was hoping you could tell me about who you love Muramasa-san." He glanced at her warily. He was silently hoping to avoid that question but he was not very lucky from the start now was he? He couldn't very well decline; he became too attached to do such a thing besides he did say he would try to show her how he felt towards her somehow so there was no backing down now. He looked away from her to stare at the birds hovering above a branch where there was nest.

"It is very simple; she is the only one I have ever known to show such kindness towards one such as myself. She has helped me considerably." He paused; moving to look at the ground. He let out a breath and decided instead to look at her.

"I believed so firmly that I would be able to be with my master again after so long." Orihime cocked her head to the side in confusion at the sudden change of the subject but his voice was so serious that she was compelled to listen intently.

"As soon as reality revealed that his soul was no longer as it was, I began to feel corrupted as well. Yes, it was partially the hollows' fault but it was I that only encouraged it and became one. My soul is filled with hate towards all other shinigami even to your friends. The zanpakutou exists to fight alongside them as a partner but there those who view it as nothing but a simple tool for gaining there own selfish goals. I was warned, there were hints, but I refused to acknowledge it."

He closed his eyes as he came close to where he was getting at and lowered his head.

"So much hate, resentment, pain, and sadness. What was I to do when aside from Kurosaki; you were the one to reach out to me? If I did not look your way and had you not seen my pain I wouldn't be where I am now. I had come to hope that there was still a chance to have a partnership again, but you are human, not a shinigami." He murmured.

"Muramasa-san what are you talking about?" Orihime really didn't know if he was referring to her or the girl he mentioned.

"I mean what I say. There is no other that would grab my attention more so than you Hime-sama." He sat straight and stared at her, now that he had made her aware he had to finish.

"I told you there was one whom I loved more than anyone but there was another of whom she loved. These feelings you speak of, I was serious when I said I did not want them. I did not want to repeat another mistake that would only break me once more. I did not want to face rejection once more but I value honesty. That kiss from that night was an act based upon my own instinct to get closer to you, to fill this hole in my chest that continues to grow, I ask only for your honest answer: if I had told you I've loved you would you feel the same towards me?"

He sat and he waited for her answer. Orihime now understood what he meant. The explanation was enough, he spoke of what he truly thought something he's done whenever they talked, but this was certainly something that she had not come to expect. Her own heart began to beat a little faster with his eyes fixated upon her own. She honestly did not know how to react, but there was an unknown sensation building up with her chest. The blush on her face deepened; she understood now why he was so upset. He had figured out her little crush but aside from that there seemed to be more to it then just that.

Her eyes softened as once again realization came upon her again, he really emphasized being a zanpakutou that she knew without having to ask and the discovery she came up with made her want to cry. She could not erase what he was; he who would soon be nothing and disappear.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"It did not matter, the well being of my soul has not changed for quite a long time, only the subtle changes of occurrences were the only indication that it was getting worse. My sickness did not matter when there was a goal. I longed for my master and that is who I am truly loyal to, so much so illness didn't matter as long as she is happy I will do anything she so wishes. I will accept her decision on this matter just so that I may stay along side her."

"I long to be your zanpakutou only if you are willing to allow it."

Orihime could feel the sting of tears well slightly. No matter how many times she healed him he would not get better. His entire being required another just to be. She did not want to lose him and after he just said he loved her what was she to do?

"I do not expect a quick answer. I can see that I have overwhelmed you a bit. I apologize but it seemed only fair that you knew the truth." He looked up at the sky and saw that the day passed rather quickly. "It won't do to stay here for long, shall we go home?" He asked and she nodded lightly still trying to fully understand everything. Muramasa held her belongings and stood, waiting for her to follow suit. As soon as she began walking he followed; the stiff silence was to be expected after the events that had unfolded, but they never noticed that when they left, they had accidently left something behind.

Neither Orihime nor Muramasa noticed that the doll had fallen from its place in Orihime's purse and onto the dusty floor of the park.

-X-X-X-

A/N: Yup another long chapter that took me a whole day. Not too proud considering I spent a majority of that time brain dead and unmotivated simply because it was a really boring day and I missed bleach just to finish this. If there are any mistakes (which I'm sure there are) than I apologize but in all fairness I'm half asleep right now sooooo yeah anyway I hope you enjoy this even a little is good enough for me. Feel free to tell me any suggestions. I would say more but I'm sleepy…