Disclaimer: I do not own the Suicide Squad movie or the comics.

A/N: So to make it easier to comunicate with you guys I created a snapchat for my fanfics. On it I will give you guys updates on how far along I am to finishing a chapter to my fanfics or if it is out. Add me at fanfichannah


Chapter 7 - Broken, but not Broken

Harleen Quinzel

I lay on the table, all of my surroundings a blur, unable to focus on anything other than the words my J utters.

"Lets go," He barks at his men.

I can feel the tears, but they aren't coming out and wetting my face. Instead, they are making their permanent mark in my heart. Each one making its way down to my chest, burning holes into my completely shattered heart. Why? Why did my Puddin' do this to me? Why did he have to give out a cold, dark laughter as I let out every moan of agony?

I feel my restraints being untied, and the leather belt yanked from my mouth. I was too fazed to see who it was, but I was able to see a figure leaning down close to my face. He looked more professional, and from what I could tell wore a beard on his face. But that was all I was able to see before hearing him mumble words into my ear, telling me the location they were heading.

Then without a second further he left, leaving me only with my broken thoughts.

How could I possibly go after him after something like this had just happened? Watching him as his eyes electrified with pleasure, and that was before he was going to put me through hell and back. Could I still love a man who had just tortured me for fun?

Go after him!

I blinked a couple times in confusion, where had that voice come from?

Of course you love him! That's Mistah J's way of showing his love!

I slowly came out of my dream like state, shaking my head softly as the room became more in focus. Is the voice actually right? Is that really Puddin's way of showing me he loves me?

Of course I'm right! He didn't kill you did he?

I giggled slightly at the logic behind the statement, it was true, he didn't kill me. Which has to mean that he feels even a little bit of love towards me.

What are you doing! Go after him!

A grin grew on my face as I quickly propped myself up on the table, becoming a little lightheaded at how quickly I did it.

"He's not getting away that easily!" I told myself and something inside me moved, something good, something that made me want to go a little crazy.

Standing up, racing out of the room, plucking some keys from one of the dead doctors pockets, I noticed that my favorite red shirt was drenched in sweat, as well as a little blood. I growled slightly as I stormed over to one of the female doctors office's, one that I knew kept a spare shirt, just in case. Thankfully it was my size, a nice blue button up.

As I swiftly pushed each button into it's rightful place, I ran into the parking lot. I could see a bright purple strip darting towards the city, it had to be Mistah J's. I scrambled to get the mans keys out of my pocket as I keep my eyes trained on the strip of light, quickly bringing it to every car, pressing the unlock button at each one I passed.

To my surprise, it didn't belong to any of them. Instead, I quickly found out it belonged to a nice Harley Davidson, but to be sure, I stuck the key into the ignition and lightly twisted it, humming in pleasure as it started to make a rumbling noise. Bingo!

Swinging my leg around, not bothering to put on the helmet, I quickly get situated and race off towards the purple streak that was getting smaller and smaller in the distance. I had no choice but to put the pedal to the metal and push the bike to its full limits, hopefully it would be fast enough to catch up. And, to my luck, it had, and I could feel everything inside me begin to accelerate, as though something was changing in me.

'Only a couple more seconds, just a little more!' I tell myself as I'm riding up next to his car, it took my breath away with its beauty, its color, its design. If I had to pick a way to die, at the hands of a car, then I would most certainly want it to be this car that killed me.

A grin springs up on my face as I pass them and swerve in front of the car, jumping off the bike as it slides into the middle of the road. I kept my eyes on him, my J, and his eyes were on mine. At this point, I couldn't tell if it was the thrill of being so bold or the anxiety of being killed that was consuming me, but whatever it was, was begging for more inside my head.

Nearly inches away from me, his car slams to a halt and he storms furiously out of it. I could tell he was more than a little frustrated that I followed him.

"You just don't get it do you?" He exclaims, waving his arms in the air in frustration. "That little stunt I did with you back there, oh, thats not even close to comparable to what I could have done to you!"

I shook my head, "No Mistah J, you wouldn't hurt me that badly, you can't even bring yourself to kill me, can you!?" I snap back at him, confident that the playing cards were now in my hand.

He gives a low, hummed, dark laughter, staring intensely into my eyes. "Oh honey, killing you would only be a way out for yourself. I only kill to inflict pain on the ones that I truly want to hurt! Pain. Now that's the way to knowing a person, that's the way to strike fear into their souls! Losing their life, yeah, that's something everyone is scared of. But pain, fear, constantly needing to look over your shoulder! Now that's what makes a person wish they were dead." He shouts, causing me to jump slightly at every new sentence he began.

"Well..." I began, trying to gather up the words to fit into the puzzle. "It didn't work on me. No matter what you do, no matter what you say, you won't be able to get rid of me just like that Mistah J."

A chilling smile spreads across his face as he approaches me, slowly, breathing deeply in and out. "Hmm," He grumbles lowly, "Seems like you still aren't getting the big picture. You know, for a psychiatrist, you really don't know what you're doing. Maybe you should have stuck with your little daddy, hmm? Then maybe you could've really gotten somewhere in life."

Just like that, something in the back of my mind triggers. It almost felt like someone else took over my body and I was just sitting back enjoying the movie. I watched as my hands swiftly grabbed the gun from his shoulder holster and point it directly between his eyes. My face was serious, to show him that this was no joke, that I was willing to pull the trigger.

But he just laughed and walked forward, letting the gun rest on his skin. He didn't look the least bit worried that I was going to blow his brains out, instead, he looked like he was enjoying it, like it was just some show.

"Come on sweetheart, do it!" He pressured me, shifting his weight from foot to foot, not staying still for a single second.

"Don't ever talk about that," I murmured sternly, still not bringing the gun down from his head. I needed him to know that I was serious. So serious that if he was ever to bring up the topic again, I would pull the trigger. I brought my index finger along the trigger, brushing it ever so gently.

There was a growing line of cars behind him. They all were continuously honking their horns and a few even screaming from out of their car windows. One man, a tall slightly plump one, walked up to us. He kept his hands up and seemed to make sure that he wasn't about to be in the line of fire.

"Um, Ma'am," He trailed off, eyeing Mistah J as he came up next to us, "You don't have to do this, I'm sure we can work this out like civil people."

I gave out a short laugh and let a smirk dance along my lips as I quickly turned the gun to him and shot him without a second thought. He collapsed to the ground, right in front of Mistah J's car, as a pool of blood came from the hole in his head. "I don't think so," I murmured, more than sure that Mistah J now knew I wasn't kidding around, as I repositioned the gun between his eyes.

He seemed to be in a trance, his eyes weren't focused on really anything, but at the same time, they were focused directly at me. He clicked his tongue and shook his head, "naughty girl," He murmured as he snatched the gun from my hands so quickly that I stood there for a second, unsure of what exactly just happened.

Glancing back at him, he now pointed the gun at his own head, giving out a cold laughter as he gazed at me.

"You think you want to be with me, but oh honey, you don't! And I don't want to be with you. You see, this was all just a little game! I used you as bait, Harley! And you still can't seem to see it!" He shouted, letting the his hand that contained the gun fall to his side.

"No Mistah J, I won't believe your lies!" I exclaimed.

Before I knew it, my face met the cold asphalt that used to be under my feet. I cupped my cheek with my hand as he towered over me, looking satisfied with what he had done.

"Why are you like this?" I whimpered, needing an answer to all that he has done to me, all that he could do to me.

"Oh, you wanna know why I'm like this? Why I enjoy torturing people? How it fills me to the brim with pleasure? Are you really sure you want the answer?" He asked lowly and carefully.

I was hesitating, I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to think. Did I really want to know?

Yes! He is opening up to you, he is willing to tell you the spiderwebs of his past.

'Really?' I asked the small voice in my head. 'Could this really be his way of showing that even if he is telling me he hates me, that really it is him protecting me?'

That's right. You know him, how he refuses to acknowledge he has any type of human feelings. But you also know that he won't be able to ignore them.

It all made so much sense, it was the answer to everything that he has done to me.

Before I knew it I mumbled, "Yes, I really want to know."


A/N 2: This chapter was slightly more difficult for me to write, because I only had the behind the scenes footage to go off of, as well as the trailer. One part, the shirt one, had almost had me stumped. In the trailer I had noticed she was wearing a red shirt, but in the motorcycle scene she was wearing a blue one, so I was really thinking about what to do to make everything fit together.