BONUS CHAPTER!

Kadaj sighed and pounded his fists to his forehead when he heard the horrendous sound of footsteps rapidly clomping up the steps.

As the footsteps neared-coming closer to his bedroom door- Kadaj frantically looked about, trying to find a hiding place.

Just when the silver haired man was considering hopping out the window and potentially break a leg or two only to be re-healed magically, the door bust open with a slam.

"Kadaj. I need help!" Denzel whined quietly.

Said silver haired man held back a a shout of annoyance. What did this mini-fied version of a despicable, disgusting, and all other negative adjectives starting with a D possibly want with him?

He curtly turned his fun twisty chair, the only thing that made him feel any joy in this rundown household, to face the boy.

Instead of working on the breath-taking scenery he was painting of the grimy Edge with watercolors, he had to attend to this nuiscance. If he didn't and threw the child out the window instead, Tifa would kick him out and Cloud would slice him into itty-bitty Remnant bits and finally toss him in the local Dumpster.

Kadaj rudely scrutinized him for a moment or two, hoping his cat-like rapist eyes would scare the creature off. The child stood his ground. He tried harder, squinting his eyes ever so more and baring his teeth. The result made Denzel laugh.

"Are you okay? If you need any prune juice, I can get some from Tifa."

Kadaj grumbled curses. He was now thinking that seeing the child fly out the window and faceplant into the pavement below would be an ever more fantastic sight than his painting.

"I am not old, nor have backed up bowels, thank you very much." Kadaj shot back at the boy. But Denzel thought otherwise, what with that silver mane (that seemed to be balding?) and pained facial expression.

Instead of stating his thoughts which he knew would only get him in trouble, Denzel produced the homework materials seemingly out of nowhere.

"I need help with this." Denzel dropped the load forecfully onto Kadaj's desk, making paint tubes explode and a cup of dirty water spill all over his work.

That was it. This was too much of a burden for him. Why were humans so cruel?

Kadaj cried. Hard.

"Just. . .J-Just leave!" Kadaj shouted between choked sobs. He dropped his head on the desk, thus dying his hair a multitude of vibrant colors.

Denzel was speechless. Did this man just cry over nothing? All Kadaj had done on the canvas was a stick figure and a grey lollipop looking tree! He always knew there was something wrong with these Remnants...

"Umm. . .I'm sor-?" Kadaj bluntly cut of the boys weak apology with a roar of "LEAVE.", and immedietly went back to sobbing.

Before a very confused Denzel was about to turn and walk out of the room, a glowing blue ball of Materia bounced off his homework. Befuddled, he looked up to see Kadaj staring at him murderously with bloodshot eyes and a tear streaked face, cluching a box of Materia maniacally in his lap.

Hadn't Cloud confisgated the Remnants' Materia?

With scrunched eyebrows, Denzel backed out of the room slowly, not wanting to scare the frazzled clone. Kadaj watched him leave with beady yet glassy looking eyes, arm posed to chuck another sphere of Materia at the offending pieces of school work.

Denzel ran a hand through his hair in bewilderment.

NEVER go back into Kadaj's room.

He was almost home alone. The only breathing beings in the building were himself, Kadaj, and the other Sephlings, not to mention Sephiroth himself. Ever since the silver haired group pinky promised to be good, Tifa had allowed them to take up residence in the bar/home since they had no where else to go.

Walking as quickly as he could away from the door that now had strange shouts emnanting from behind it, he searched for another tutor.

He heard murmurings down the hall. Denzel cautiously peeked inside the room, checking for any signs of Yazoo also being crazed.

Yazoo heard the creak of the floorboard outside his room and looked up from his book. He smiled at the youth. He wasn't like Kadaj who despised the strange midget humans. He had heard the words"child" and "kid" being used around the home, but it wasn't in his vocabulary yet.

"Ah, hello Denzel. What brings you here?" Yazoo asked as he politely placed his book down and folded his hands beneath his chin to gaze at the boy quite pedophile-ish.

Denzel sighed in relief. You never knew how the Remnants would act. They were different almost daily. He'll never forget the day when Yazoo tried to chop his ear off with a cheese knife.

Yazoo was probably the Remnant Denzel was closest to, despite how oddly he would stare at him from time to time.

"Homework." The boy responded as he jostled the items in his hands. Yazoo glanced at the homework and flickered his eyes back to Denzel.

Yazoo smiled creepily."Sit down, I want to talk." It was as if the important work Denzel had was invisible to the silver haired man.

Denzel thought for a moment. All this stuff was due the next day, but then again, he could always stay up late and finish while he watched late night shows that Tifa banned in the household. "Er, ok. . .?" Denzel asked. Might as well blow off the mountains of work.

He sat down in the spot that Yazoo had patted. They were sitting on the ground, backs against the side of the twin bed.

"You know Mother, right?" Yazoo asked. Denzel felt like groaning. Yazoo would randomly break into a speech a couple times a week about his mommy. Whether it be while he was peeling a banana, fetching the newspaper in his bunny slippers, or while he was on the toilet. He would proudly talk about 'Mother' even if the rest of the people in the home weren't listening, and even when he was by himself.

"Yes, I assume? Mother is almighty, giving birth to the world. . ." and Denzel continued to listen, halfway bored to death by this psychopath's sermon.

Denzel could have got up and strolled out of the room, but Yazoo wouldn't let him leave until he was finished. He learned this from the last time he was stuck in one of Yazoo's long speeches. Stuck like Zack the time Yuffie dared him to super glue himself to the door of the bar and greet customers who walked in.

As soon as the man finished his speech with a startlingly loud chant-like holler, (apparently a tribute to 'Mother') Denzel dashed out the door, belongings in hand.

He continued to whiz down the hallway, ignoring the shouts, farts and burps coming from Loz's room. There was no way he was going to walk into that Remnants gas chamber of a room, only to suffocate on the foul smelling passed gas.

Denzel found Sephiroth sitting in one of the bars booths, alone, drinking lavender tea. The man didn't lift his head from the enjoymnet of his so-not-feminie drink to greet the boy.

The boy hesitated a moment before approaching the man. He repeatedly told himself not to stutter when he spoke to the almighty man. After all, Sephiroth was just as intelligent as Vincent, but hopefully less creepy. Denzel winced at the memory.

"Sephiroth?" The boy asked, trying to get the man's attention.

An irritated grunt of acknowledgement.

The youth was even more concerned when he noticed the flash of metal lying on the booth next to Sephiroth. The dangerous sword glinted a smirk dangerously at him. The chestnut haired boy pulled his shirt around the neck, trying to loosen it and unchoke himself.

Denzel continued,"Yazoo and Kadaj tried helping me but they were. . .busy." Denzel spoke meekly. He paused. "You're smart, right?"

A snort from Sephiroth. With squinted eyes the older man pierced the boys blue ones.

"You dare question my smarticle-ness?" Sephiroth muttered. Even if it was a soft mutter, it scared Denzel so much it gave him a premature heart attack.

Denzel gulped, suddenly feeling sweaty. "N-No!" Denzel stuttered quickly, thoroughly petrified. "Sir!" The boy added. Just when the boy was about to drop to the ground and bow at the mans feet a couple of times followed by twenty pushups for his stupidity, Sephiroth waved him off.

"At ease, soldier." Sephiroth mocked him humourlessly.

It was silent for a moment as Sephiroth slurped some more of his tea. By now the man was starting to get aggitated by the boy who was disturbing his lovely cup of tea, which ironically was in Cloud's coffee mug.

Denzel noticed how much slobber the silverhaired man was getting all over Cloud's favourite coffe mug that was elaborately shaped like a Chocobo's head. Each noisy, saliva infused slurp made Denzel cringe in disgust.

"So," Sephiroth said, putting down Cloud's mug. "What do you need my marvelous brain for?" he prompted.

"Uh, homework." Denzel answered as he shyed away from a lake of bubbly drool on the table.

Sephiroth didn't noticed the boy shuffling away from him uncomfortably. Instead, the mans eyes flashed up to angrily meet the boys, his eyes were swirling with different hues of blues and greens as his pupils had their own seizures, contorting from cat slits to normal round dots.

This confused Denzel more than it scared him. Did Sephiroth not like the word 'uh'?

Quicker than lightning greased with name brand Sephiroth Spit, the man plucked Masamune from beside him, and shish kabob-ed the ten foot thick pile of the school horrors that shall not be named. Denzel thankfully had held it out in front of him, to show the over salivating man.

Denzel went cross eyed as he stared at the point of Masamune staring back at him, nearly picking the boys nose for him.


Tybs23 gave me the inspiration to write this, so I did, as sort of a gift to her! =D So this Bonus chapter is like a spinoff of the rest of the story. I was aiming to write some crack in this, so how did I do? :S I'D ALSO LIKE TO MENTION; that the sequel to this story won't be about bite sized moments like I said, but a whole new story! Yay! I plan on getting that up and running soon.

Review to tell me what you thought!

~Sabby-Sama