Chapter 7
Well That Didn't Go as Well as I Had Hoped
I couldn't delay it any further. If I did, I knew that I would never tell him. My heart started to beat faster, and my pulse to race. I was suddenly really nervous. I tried not to let it show.
"Hey Steve, do you want to take a take a walk?" I asked.
Steve looked skeptically outside at the heavy falling snow.
"A walk?" he asked.
I worked up my best smile.
"Sure. I've been inside all day and I really need to get out."
"Where would we go?" He asked. "It's not exactly hiking weather."
"Come on," I encouraged. "I know some trails that can only be appreciated when they're covered in snow."
Steve looked at me curiously, but nodded.
"Ok, if that's what you want to do."
I knew exactly where we were going to go. I had been thinking about it ever since I had decided with my pack that this was the right thing to do. I needed somewhere far away from civilization, but somewhere where if he ran, he wouldn't get into trouble. I remembered from Jacob's thoughts a side road where he had once taken Bella to practice riding motorcycles. He had suggested it, and I had agreed.
I tugged at Steve's arm.
"This way," I said, leaning him towards my car.
He stared at me, confused.
"I thought you said a walk. This is your car."
"We have to drive to where I want to go. Please, Steve?"
He blinked.
"Ok, sure," he said. But I knew he was getting suspicious.
I had seen how to get to the side roads from Jacob's memory, but I still drove carefully. These side roads were slippery at best, and not plowed. It was a good thing my car had four wheel drive for just such occasions as this. I focused all my concentration on driving, and tried not to think of the conversation ahead.
"Where are we going?" Steve asked.
I was getting more and more nervous. I could tell that Steve was beginning to feel my agitation as well. I tried to calm down, for his sake.
"You'll see," I said.
"Why do I feel like you're kidnapping me?" Steve asked, with a small smile. He seemed worried when I didn't joke back.
I parked the car, and then started walking in the calf-deep snow further down the road. Steve trailed after me.
"Leah? Leah, what's going on?" he called.
I kept walking. We needed to be further into the trees, and I knew there was a clearing around here somewhere.
"Leah, if you don't tell me what's going on I'm not going a step further." There was a hard edge in Steve's voice that I had never heard before.
"Just a little further," I promised desperately. I not only did I want to delay this conversation as long as possible, I wanted to be in that clearing. It became a grip on reality: if only I could get to that clearing and explain, everything was going to be ok. "Please, Steve? Trust me."
He gave me a long look, then nodded.
It only took a few minutes to reach the clearing. We trudged them in silence. When I reached the edge of the clearing, I turned to face him.
"Ok, what is it?" he asked. "Why have you been acting so strange? I've never seen you like this before."
I was shaking, and this time it had nothing to do with anger. I took a deep, calming breath.
"I brought us out here so we could be totally alone. There's something I want to tell you."
Steve blinked.
"You're a lesbian, aren't you?" he asked.
I gave a startled bark of laughter.
"No! Nothing like that," I assured him.
"Then what? What is it you have to tell me?" Steve said, looking wary again. "What's so important that we had to go out in the middle of nowhere?"
"Well not so much tell you as… show you," I continued. I knew that if I didn't get this all out right away, I would never be able to stumble my way through it. "You have to promise not to freak out though, ok? Remember that I'm still me, no matter what happens."
"What's going to happen?" Steve asked. He looked scared.
"It's easier if I just show you," I admitted. I reached behind my head and undid the clasp of his locket. Then, I handed the delicate necklace back to him.
"I don't understand," he said, looking from the locket in his hand to my face.
I smiled tightly.
"I don't want to break it," I explained. Then, I took off my coat, and let it fall to the ground. I reached for my shirt and tugged it over my head.
"What are you doing?" Steve gasped. "You're going to freeze!"
"I don't think that's my problem," I muttered. I started unbuttoning my jeans.
"Leah, please," Steve said softly.
I paused, and realized what he thought I must be doing. I smiled a tiny bit.
"This is not what you think it is. Just trust me," I repeated, stepping out of my jeans. In a minute he was going to forget that I didn't have any clothes on. He was going to be so repulsed by me that it didn't matter if I stood naked before him only a few moments ago.
With a quick flick of my wrist, I stepped out of my panties and bra. I heard Steve catch his breath. But there were more important things to concentrate on now. I closed my eyes and felt the familiar heat rush over me. It tingled down my spine and rushed over my limbs. The transformation was taking place.
And then, there I stood before him, a large grey wolf. I was smaller than the rest of my pack, but I was still much bigger than a normal wolf, my head level with Steve's shoulder.
Doing alright? Embry asked, slightly mocking.
I hate you, I answered, sourly. This is hard enough without you in my head. Buzz off.
But it's so much fun…
Embry was interrupted by a stern voice.
Leave her alone. You ok, Leah? Jake asked.
Fine, I said, but I knew my tone was hesitant. Now all I have to do is change back and explain.
Good luck, said Quil, and I knew he was in earnest.
I willed the heat to leave my body, rushing out into the ground. I reared up on my hind legs, and Steve cowered away from me. I flinched at his reaction as I morphed back into myself.
Steve was staring at me with wild eyes, and not only because I stood before him without any clothes on. I struggled back into my abandoned clothes, but left my coat off. I always felt too warm after a transformation.
"What was that?" Steve asked, after a few moments of silence.
I balled my hands into fists.
"That was me," I said.
"But… but you… you were a…"
"A wolf. Yeah."
"I don't understand," Steve whispered.
"The legends of our tribe. They're all true. All about Taha Aki and the spirit walkers. He was the first to transform into a wolf, and it's been in our blood ever since."
I placed a hand on his forearm. He flinched away form my touch. I felt a stab of hurt pierce me. I was right: I did repulse him.
"Maybe it would be easier if you sit down," I said. I pointed to a fallen log not far from us, and walked over to it. To my great relief, Steve followed.
I looked down at my hands balled up in my lap.
"This is who I am," I said.
"Who else knows about this?" Steve asked quietly.
"A lot of people, actually," I admitted. "My mom. Billie Black. The elders of the tribe. Sam."
Steve started at the name.
"Sam knows?" he asked.
I made a face.
"Sam was the first."
"The first to know?" Steve suggested.
I shook my head.
"No. The first to change."
"Are you telling me," Steve said, his voice strained. "That my little brother transforms into a… wolf?"
"Yeah," I said. "He's the Alpha of his pack, actually."
"There are more?" Steve whispered.
I nodded.
"About seventeen in all. You've met most of them."
"I have?" Steve gasped.
"At Sam's Christmas party. They were all there."
"Does Emily know?"
"Of course Emily knows," I said. "She was one of the first outsiders Sam ever told."
Steve suddenly gasped.
"Her scars…?"
I grimaced.
"Yeah. Sam lost control early on. It's hard to learn how to control what is happening to you, at the beginning. He didn't have anyone to help him with the transformation, and he didn't understand what was happening to him. It's pretty scary at first. He lost control of his temper, and transformed in front of Emily. It was an accident."
"Seventeen of you," Steve whispered. He seemed to be going into shock.
"Are you ok?" I asked, concerned. "I know this is a lot to take in."
"Why are you telling me all of this?" he asked.
I shook my head. I didn't want to give him too much information all at once.
"I'm not sure if you're ready for that yet. Maybe you should just take it slow."
He shook his head, snow flying off his dark hair.
"I want to know everything."
"Maybe you should just come to terms with the fact that I'm a werewolf first."
Steve choked.
"Werewolf?" he asked in a strangled voice.
I smiled wryly.
"See what I mean?"
He pondered that for a moment.
"I don't get why you're telling me. I mean, what do I have to do with all of this?"
"Well that's the weirdest part," I admitted.
"Weirder than the fact that you turn into a… a werewolf?"
I felt the edges of my mouth twist up in an ironic smile.
"Actually, we're not werewolves, technically. We're shapeshifters that just happen to transform into wolves. No links to the moon." I remembered the creepy old bloodsucker, Aro, saying as much to Edward. "But we just call ourselves werewolves. It's easier."
"Right, of course," Steve said absent-mindedly.
He must be terrified of me. He must see me as a monster, a freak. He didn't want me, I just knew it. My stomach twisted, and I felt sick. I risked a glace at his face, and my breath caught in my throat. He was looking at me with such a gentle, tender look on his face. I swallowed.
He reached up his hand, and trailed his fingertips lightly over my cheek.
"Why doesn't it surprise me that you're more than the ordinary, Leah?" he said.
I blinked in surprise.
"You're not totally repulsed by me?" I asked.
"Scared senseless? Yes. Confused? Yes. Repulsed? No. You're still you, no matter what you change into.
"Really?" I asked. "I've been so scared that you were going to run away screaming from what I am. I know it's kinda overwhelming at first."
"Well, it's not everyone who can say they know werewolves," Steve said, his mouth twisting into a small smile.
"And knows more than one. Are you sure you're ok with this?" I asked. I wanted to be sure he could handle the wolf thing before I moved on.
He nodded.
"I have a question though."
Uh oh.
"Ok."
"Does this happen all the time? Has there always been a bunch of wolves in our tribe and I just never noticed?"
I shook my head.
"It's only for the protection of the tribe. The werewolf gene is dormant, until the tribe is threatened."
"And the tribe's been threatened lately? I don't remember any scary stuff happening around La Push."
I rolled my eyes.
"Yeah, well you wouldn't, would you?" I asked. "We work hard to keep it all secret. The last pack was lead by Ephraim Black, Jake's ancestor. There wasn't a need for werewolves till now, because that's when they came back."
I wondered if I should explain the Cullens to him, then thought better of it. Too much information at one time.
"They?"
"Our enemies. Only, it turned out they weren't our enemies, and we renewed the treaty that Ephraim made with them. Now they're our allies. But their presence caused the gene to reactivate. We had a werewolf population explosion."
Steve puzzled this explanation for a moment, then nodded.
"Aren't you scared of being a wolf?" he asked.
"I was at first, because I had no idea what was happening. And it was hard to control the transformations at first. Every time I got angry, I would just burst out into being a wolf. I did it in front of my dad one time, and…" I swallowed hard. The look on Dad's face when his daughter had suddenly become a wolf was a think etched in my memory forever. It had also caused him to have a heart attack, and die later in hospital. It was one of my biggest regrets in life that I hadn't been able to control my temper in that one instance. I had worked very hard on control since then.
"But that's the thing," I continued. "I love it. Except for hearing my pack's thoughts, I totally love it. I love the power, the wind in my fur, the way I can run faster than anyone. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. And I would gladly die for my pack and for my tribe."
Steve seemed to be seeing me through new eyes.
"The whole transforming into a wolf thing… you get used to it," I assured him. "I've been doing it for four years now. It's as much a part of life as anything else."
Steve reached in his pocket, and held out the locket he had given me.
"May I?" he asked, quietly.
I nodded.
He leaned over, and fastened the catch at the back of my neck. His proximity sent shivers down my spine.
"Ok," Steve said after a moment. "So again, why are you telling me, if this is all supposed to be a secret? And why isn't it Sam who's telling me all this stuff? After all, he's my brother."
This was the hard question. The one I'd been rehearsing the answer to in my mind for three days now.
"Well, remember when I said that Sam dated Emily after me?"
Steve nodded.
"Well that's not exactly true. He broke up with me for Emily."
Steve hissed in sympathy.
"That's terrible. But what does this have to do with me? Unless I'm payback for Emily…?"
I frowned at the very idea.
"No. Of course not. But it comes down to the reason that Sam left me for Emily. He did it because he had imprinted on her."
"Imprinting? Like a baby bird on the first thing it sees?"
I smiled at the comparison.
"Actually, yeah. Kinda like that. Imprinting is this werewolf thing. It happens to some of us after we transform. We see a certain person for the first time after we transform, and wham. Destiny."
"Destiny?"
"I know. It sounds so dumb and cliché. But it's just one of those werewolf things that we don't understand. Like Taha Aki's third wife. Remember the story? She was his soul mate. That's what imprinting is. It's finding the person you belong to. Sam found Emily, and who was I to argue with destiny?"
"How many of the wolves are… imprinted?" Steve asked quietly.
I counted in my head. Sam, Jake, Quil, Jared, Paul, Caleb, me.
"Seven. Three in my pack alone."
"Your pack?"
"There are two separate packs. One is lead by Sam. The other by Jacob. Since Ephraim Black was the leader of the last pack we had, it was Jacob's right to be Alpha. But he didn't assert it until Sam threatened the Cullens. Or should I say, threatened Bella."
"Sam threatened Bella?" Steve looked confused again. "That nice girl we met skating?"
I frowned at the description of Bella. Steve really had no idea what she was.
"There were… complications at the time. Jake refused to hurt Bella, and since Ephraim Black was the Alpha of the last pack we had, and Jake is his descendant, he was the rightful Alpha. He was content to let Sam lead, until Sam asked him to do something that he couldn't bear to. So he broke away and formed his own pack."
"Sam seemed to be on good terms with this Bella when I saw them together."
"That's because of Nessie," I explained. "Everything changed when Jake imprinted on Nessie…"
"Jake what? Nessie's just a little girl!"
He had no idea how little.
"It's not as weird as you think it is," I was quick to jump to my Alpha's defense. "Jake is going to be whatever Nessie needs, as long as she needs him. For now that's just elder brother and best friend. Later, who knows?"
"But I thought you said Jake was friends with Nessie's mom. What does Bella Cullen have to do with this?"
I saw where Steve was confused. I smiled.
"Bella is Nessie's mom."
"But she looks younger than you!" Steve gasped.
"She is younger. Listen, there's a whole world of mythical creatures out there that you have no idea about."
Steve held up his hand.
"How bout we stick to you and me, ok? I can ask about the Cullens later."
"Good idea," I agreed. "Where were we?"
"Destiny," Steve said, his mouth curling up. I took courage from his almost-smile.
"Destiny," I agreed. It sounded so ridiculous to say it that way. I took a deep breath, and started to explain. "I never thought I was going to imprint. There's never been anyone like me in our history. Traditionally, all the wolves are boys. I'm the only female werewolf ever. And I thought maybe that meant I couldn't imprint, because Sam thinks that imprinting is the way to pass on our biological material to the next generation of little wolves. But then I saw you, and…." I trailed off.
"You imprinted on me," Steve realized.
I nodded.
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"It means that you're my missing puzzle piece. You're the answer my life has been lacking all this time. It means that you go before me in everything. It means whatever you want it to mean. If you want me, I'm yours. If you don't..." I looked down at my hands and swallowed hard. "If you don't, it means that I'll take whatever you can give me. I know I'm damaged goods, but I… I couldn't help it. It's not something I control. But if I was going to choose anyone, it would have been you anyways. I've been waiting for you for a long time."
"Soul mates, huh?" he said.
I made a face.
"I know, I know. But there's no other way to describe it."
"Do I get a choice in this?" he asked.
All my fears suddenly came crashing in on me. He wanted an out. He didn't want the freaky werewolf girl.
"Yes," I stuttered. "You have a choice, but I don't. There'll never be anyone else for me, as long as I live. That's the way imprinting works."
I could see Steve's adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed.
"I… ah… I think we should go home now," he said getting up off the log.
"Steve?" I called.
"I want to go home, Leah," he said, his back to me.
I got up, and hurried to him, slinging my coat over my arm.
"Steve, what…?"
Then I caught a glimpse of his face. I had never seen it like that. His expression was steely, his glance cold and angry.
"I don't want to stay here any more. I think we had better go back to your car and go home."
And my world came crashing down.
Author's Note: I know people wanted Steve to be a werewolf, and that was my original idea I promise, but I then I couldn't make it work with the lore. I mean, if two werewolves imprinted on each other how would the hearing each other's thoughts work? I dunno, it just seemed too complicated. Somebody else's story to write, not mine.
What did Steve think of Leah's confession? Why is he acting so strangely? What's with his sudden coldness? Wait till next chapter to find out!
