Chapter 7: We Do it Again

"How're you doing?" gasped Z. The two Unowns were zooming high speed through the fortress to find safe, human-free ground.

"Not too good," muttered J. "That stupid bubblebeam cut me to low yellow HP."

"I'm going to be OK," said Z. "I have low green hp. You have to catch up to me, because I'll be faster."

J nodded and peered over its shoulder. "Goddammit!"

"Wha?"

"That kid's following us!"

"Yeah…. So?" Z replied easily. "Unowns can't be caught. I thought you knew that by now."

"I knew that," snapped J. "But what if he picks a battle with us again? We're on low hp and we ain't standing a chance."

"Don't worry. You can tell from his eyes he just wants to catch us," said Z.

"Obviously good at body-language, huh Z?" joked J weakly.

Suddenly, a crystal came into view and J slammed right into it with a sickening crack.

"Crap…" groaned J. "It's turned red."

"Your hp?" asked Z.

"Duh. Unowns don't bleed. I thought you knew that by now," retorted J cynically.

Both of the Unowns were a good distance away from Brendan. But even though he was far behind, Brendan had a clear vision of the Pokemon. And when he saw that one of them had slammed into a crystal and fallen, he also saw his chance.

"Gotta catch em all," he shouted decisively. Seeing that the Unown had red hp, he figured he should directly throw a pokeball and see how that went. He grabbed a spare pokeball around his belt (the universal n00b way of getting a pokeball. Keep spare pokeballs in your bag.), tossed it up and down several times (even more n00bish. The pokemon could run away easily.), and kicked at it.

"WHA!?" croaked Brendan in astonishment. 'You missed the pokemon!' His pokedex said. It's red hp. How can I miss it? Just then the Unowns propelled back into the air and away from Brendan. "Right," he muttered. You forced me to be nice. Well, that's over. It looks like you Unowns need another Confusion straight to your brain.

"Cmon!!" squeaked J. "He's still after us!"

"Yeah, and I can see he's plotting to faint you," said Z worriedly. Suddenly its face brightened.

"Oh," said J in realization. "I know that face. The great idea face."

"You got HIGH red hp, J?" asked Z.

"Yeah…"

"Use all your power. Try and connect your mind with mine," commanded Z.

"Kay..."

As the distance between them and their 'persecutor' decreased, a light blue shield slowly began to form over the two unowns. It shimmered with an ethereal luster and soon there was a light blue bubble-sphere fully protecting the pokemon from Brendan.

"Nice plan, Z!" shouted J. "I almost forgot we had that."

Brendan was right behind the Unowns. "Just one more burst of energy…" He suddenly lunged forward, trying to take them by surprise. In the few seconds of his 'takeoff', the blue shield came into full view. His head bumped into something flexible, but hard at the same time. Landing on his ass, he sat and gaped up at the two Unowns taking off into the far distance. Realizing he was far from any kind of humanity, he began to cry.

The Unowns reached home plate. I mean their base where they were keeping the hostages.

"Did you get the Restorer?" asked Y, obviously without hope, considering the condition of the two unowns as they floated through the door. Beat, battered, tired, and Shielded. It was an Unown fact of life that Shields should only be used in emergencies.

J and Z, however, were very angry. "You told us they would be pwned by our hidden powers!" they said, facing Y. "They pwned US!"

"What? How COULD you?" exclaimed Y. "They're HUMANS! Filthy, Unown-banishing HUMANS!"

"Yea. Sure. JUST humans," said Z as it rolled its eye.

"Humans aint weak, I tell you," said J, pointing to its head. "See that scar? That's a mark of a Bubblebeam and a dominating Luvdisc."

"Wha…you lost to a LUVDISC!?" whispered Y incredulously.

"And look at Z. It thinks it has a broken leg. But it doesn't. That's the result from a Confusion. I tell you, that Ralts is powerful! Confusion is just that, it confuses," continued J breathlessly. As it reached the word 'confuses' though, it could tell that Y's complexion was turning a dirty green and seemed to be choking on something. It was, actually. It was choking on humiliation.

"WHAT??" Y finally managed to yell. "YOU'VE DISGRACED THE RACE OF UNOWN! LUVDISC IS THE POKEMON WITH THE SHTIEST STATS!"

"But it pwned us!" cried Z.

"AND YOU TOO, Z." Y was now purple with anger. "That Ralts is the same type as you. And you lose to it and run away JUST LIKE THAT?"

"Shut it, Y," said C. "Give 'em a break."

"Our humiliation for a break. Give ME a break. And YOU don't tell me to shut up. Who made you boss here?"

"I was about to ask the same question about YOU. The first day you came you just took over everything. We didn't even have a say."

"Okay, let's not start a flamewar here," said P reproachfully. "As Wallace said, we aren't on the internet and will never be. Let's just find another way to deal with all this. We'll eventually get the Restorer, right?"

Everyone nodded solemnly. P was always the kind one who tried to make the best of everything. Even Y didn't try to disappoint it.

"So. Everyone, I've got an idea. It's a good one, but a bit far-fetched. You tell me when you don't follow," said P.

"Sure. Like you're the boss here," commented Y rudely which all the Unowns responded with a 'SHHHHHH!', except C who slapped Y on the face and snapped "Bch!" Then all Unown was quiet.

"We're going to do it again." P read the six words as if from the declaration of independence.

It was silence in the room. Confused silence as the Unowns contemplated the words.

Finally Q asked, "Do it again?"

"You guys. Don't tell me you forgot."

5 second silence.

"Yeah, we forgot," replied Y. "So? It's not like it's a good idea."

"SHUT UP, Y! Bch!" This time all the unowns spoke together.

"Okay. You following? Right. Remember last time? With Entei."

5 second silence. Then the whole "auditorium" sounded with an "Ohhhhh!"

"Which part?" asked Q. "It was so filled with excitement, I remember."

"Molly wanted to be a pokemon trainer. Right?"

"Yeah."

"Entei and us, we helped transform Molly into a teenager and gave her pokemon."

"Right."

"And we made battle arenas for her. The underwater one and the beach."

"Yeah."

"May I interrupt for a second," said Y.

"No you may not," answered the Unowns.

"Yeah, sure. Well, sarcasm's my middle name. Um, what exactly does this have to do with the Restoring?"

"Maybe not much, I'm afraid," said P.

"Then 'Y' we bother?" joked Y. "Get it? Y? Haha. Heh. Uh."

"This plot is to do with confusing the humans," snapped P. "So stop interrupting."

"YEAH," agreed the rest.

"We did all that for Molly. Now we have to do it for ourselves."

1 minute silence took place as the Unowns thought about this.

P broke the silence. "I happen to know," it said, "the weaknesses to the two guys. Wallace likes girls, and Brendan is immature for a 12 year old. We target those weaknesses, challenge them to a pokemon battle, in a snazzy arena of course, and win."

"We're going to be Unowns who keep pokemon in their belts?" asked H. "Unown don't even have belts."

"No," said P. "My point is. We're going to turn OURSELVES into HUMANS. Just like we turned Molly into a teenager."

Y groaned. "You're NOT turning me. Oh no. Oh no no no. NO WAY."

"Yea yea yea, whatever," replied P icily. "As it happens," it said with an evil glint, "I kept the biggest and most important job to YOU, yes you, Y. That's the price of complaining." All the Unowns cheered. Especially C.

"Now you'll see what it's like to keep all the pressure to yourself, you crak-ed," laughed C. "Maybe you'd be easier on your 'subjects'. F off." The auditorium burst into laughter.

"No, not yet," said P. "I'm going to assign you your JOBS. You'd better listen up, because whatever goes wrong in this is going to be ONE person's fault. So everyone do a good job and come over here."

This chapter ends with a wail of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" from Y.