Chapter 7: Confessions

"I...It was like this since...since a year ago..." Kaito sobbed

"Kaito, you...never told me about this" Gakupo said, worried

"How could I? I had the reputation of being a womanizer, until you came along. You stole my spot but...I'll gladly hand over my title to you. Once you came, I was starstruck at how amazing you looked. Your hair is so dazzling, it falls ever so smoothly over your clear face. Your eyes are such a piercing purple colour, your lips look so sensual...I..." Kaito burst out into tears again

"Kaito, stop please" Gakupo said and moved over to comfort him. He put one arm around him but Kaito shook him off

"Don't touch me, before I hoped...desparately...that I might have had a place in your heart..." Kaito sighed

"But you do," Gakupo said "You're the closest friend I have here, I hold you in my heart closer than I held most girls"

"No you dont..." Kaito continued

"Don't you remember all that we've been through together? When I first came here, you showed me around, you helped me get to know the other guys, you hooked me up with my first girl at the school, all the memories we made I cherish, I have feelings for you as well Kaito, its just not erotic...Kaito, if it wasnt for you...I'd...I'd" Gakupo stopped

"You'd what?" Kaito said looking up

"I'd end up the way I was before..." Gakupo sighed "I havent told anyone this story before...and it kills me to recite it again...just acknowledging who and what I used to be hurts so much on the inside..."

"You dont think I'll...judge you...do you?" Kaito asked

"No..its not you I'm annoyed at...its myself" Gakupo went on "Before I came here I used to live in a different country. Back there I was nowhere near to what I am now. Back then I used to be completely antisocial. I had no life, literally. In school, I'd walk around, completely alone...I had no one to talk to...everyone mocked me, they called me a girl because of my hair...I was the guy no one ever wanted to be...I moved countries in hopes of changing who I was and...and then I met you...and you made that dream a reality"

"I...Really?" Kaito said, sucking in more tears

"Yes...you saved me from suicide Kaito...I owe you my life..." Gakupo said

"Then...can I...please have one last kiss?" Kaito said, leaning in, closing his eyes and opening his mouth. Gakupo put his hand on his head and lightly pushed him away.

"I'm so sorry Kaito...I can't return those feelings for you..." Gakupo sighed. Kaito looked down for a second and then quickly recovered jumpin on Gakupo and pushing him down onto the bed.

"One...last...time..." Kaito breathed and leaned in but Gakupo escaped his hold and pulled him down, while getting on top of him. He held him down until he was calm.

"Kaito...this hurts me as well" Gakupo said, tears began to form in his eyes as well "I hate to do this to you...I can't just stand and watch you suffer like this"

"Please...again..." Kaito whimpered "Final...time..."

After about 15 minutes, Kaito had finally realized that however hard he tried Gakupo just wouldnt fall in love with him. Even the last string he so desperately clinged on, was at the point of being cut.

"I'm...I'm sorry I did this" Kaito said "I...lost control"

"No need to apologize if you kept it suppressed for so long, it must have drove you insane" Gakupo replied

"It did...but...now I've gone too far, I dont think we can be friends anymore, Gakupo, not after this" Kaito said

"Of course we can...I'll ignore this if you want...we can just go back to the way we used to be" Gakupo offered but Kaito wouldnt have it

"No, take the bed...I'll sleep on the floor, its too awkward now...I'll leave tomorrow in the morning" Kaito said, and lied down on the floor.

"I'll take the floor," Gakupo said "It's your apartment"

"Please...just take the bed..." Kaito said, lookign up at him pleadingly

"If that's what you want..." Gakupo sighed "Goodnight Kaito" but Kaito just sobbed back, not uttering a word

The next morning Gakupo woke up and looked to see where Kaito was. He wasn't in bed, he wasn't on the floor. Gakupo went over to the batheroom and checked, he wasnt there either. Where was he? Gakupo just assumed that he had probably gone out to take a breath of fresh air or jog. Kaito always liked to jog when he was stressed.

"I need a breath of fresh air too" Gakupo thought and made his way to the balcony. Before going out, he noticed a note that was left onto the table. Gakupo picked it up and read it.

"Gakupo, by the time you read this I'm gonna be gone. I want to say, that I'm so sorry for doing what I did last night, I should have controlled myself, but as you said, keeping those emotions suppressed for a year was just too much. I want you to know that, I completely understand where you are coming from, not returning my feelings, its perfectly natural. I mean, look at you" Gakupo noticed that now tear drops had stained part of the note "such a woman loving guy, what did I even expect? Either way, I want you to know that I don't want you to feel guilty about last night. Really, its all my fault, don't even blame yourself for a second"

Gakupo slowly began understanding what the note was telling him but he shook it off.

"You did the right thing, you told me the truth. And sometimes, its better to know the cold and bitter truth than live in an imitation forever. I want you to put me, not as your love but, as a person in general, behind you. I beg you, as my final wish, I want you to forget about me, never feel sad. If you live on happy then I'm happy"

"Final wish? If I live on? Kaito..." Gakupo said "What...what did you go and do?"

"Please Gakupo, just do that one thing for me, and I'll know I ended things where there wasnt a point in going on anymore. Forever yours, Kaito Shion"

"Ended things...no...no...it cant be...Kaito...no" Gakupo said as the harsh realization hit him. He opened the door and saw exactly what he hoped he wouldnt see. A chair, tipped over, lying onto the floor. Gakupo didnt want to raise his gaze to see what was above. He knew, but he didnt want to believe it. Eventually, he forced himself to look upp. A rope was tied up to the top of the ceiling, on the other end, a knot. In the knot, the head of the blue haired friend he spent the best year of his life with...and it was all his fault. The one who had saved him from suicide has commited suicide himself...because of him. Gakupo dropped down to his knees and looked up at Kaito's lifeless body.

"Kaito...oh Kaito, I'm so sorry!" he said bursting into tears "I never meant for any of this to happen! I shouldve just kissed you once if it would have meant you'd be alive now! Why did you do this Kaito? Please...this cant be real...this isnt real...I can't bear the burden of a human life...no...Kaito...I'm sorry...I'm...so...sorry...Ka...ito..."

Gakupo slowly felt his body going numb, and before he knew it, the ground rushed up to meet him...and everything went black...


So, I wrote my first suicide scene. Did I do good? Anyways, I probably wont work on this for a while since I have no idea how to continue the plot, so I'm probably just gonna work on Love at Gunpoint. Until next time, sayonara to everone