Wander was way too close for comfort.
Lord Hater and the nomad found themselves still in the dark- the overlord lighting his gloved hands for some light, as they made their way down the stone hall. His powers gave everything an eerie green glow, vexing the skeleton with the ever growing sense of unease. Hater had no idea where they were, or where the others had gone off to for that matter; and, he had no idea how they were supposed to find the relic they were looking for….let alone how they were going to escape alive.
And, to top it all off, the annoying fuzzball kept trying to grab at his other hand as they continued to walk.
"Would you STOP that," Hater mumbled, finding himself embarrassed about the situation as he jerked his hand out of the nomad's grasp. "I'm trying to concentrate here!"
"Whoops, sorry, Hater. Guess this old temple is just givin' me a case of the willies over here."
Hater grunted in reply. He was tired of walking down corridors in the darkness. He was tired of babysitting his most hated enemy. He didn't even want the stupid Morning Star now, he just wanted out of this temple, off of this planet; he wanted his room, his video games, his solitude.
With the way his day had been going, the skeletal being was only mildly surprised when the short hall ended in... a dead end. A wall, bathed in his pale green light, stood tall and defiant in their path.
"WHO EVEN BUILDS A HALL THAT GOES NOWHERE!"
Yelling made him feel better, it truly did.
"Hold on a minute!"
Hater's face fell as Wander took his elbow and shoved it upwards-as if it were a torch and not actually a part of him- and the light reached farther up the wall.
"Hmm... kinda looks like a picture that's all mixed up, doesn't it?" the fuzzy nomad noted. Hater looked up at the tiled wall, but he didn't see a picture. It was just random patterns that seemed to have no correlation to each other.
"No it doesn't." Hater mumbled.
"Yeah, sure it does!" Wander continued, letting the overlord's negativity go through one ear and out the other. "Jus' needs to be fiddled with a lil', is all!"
Before Hater could say anything against it, shooting down his theory with an ever eloquent 'that's stupid', he was taken aback by the sound of creaking. Wander had apparently been right, as he began to move the pieces around. Hater watched as his enemy stuck out his tongue, as he moved the ones in his reach. Wander frowned as he tried jumping up to reach the pieces at the top-but failed horribly. He turned to the skeleton with a smile.
"Ya mind getting the ones on top, friend? I'm sure if we work together, we can get this puzzle all figured out!"
Hater DID mind. However, he also didn't want to be in the creepy pyramid death trap of doom anymore, either. So with a roll of his eyes, he stretched out a hand and began moving the pieces with the nomad. After a while he glared.
"Why are you putting that one there? I just MOVED it!" The nomad moved the piece to a new location, which just caused the overlord to groan from frustration again. "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! Here, just let ME do it-stupid useless mop…"
"But I almost got it! I think it's supposed t'be a star, see? So this point need t'go over-"
Hater growled; Wander was stepping on his face now. He grabbed Wander's fuzzy body in his gloved hand, and yanked him off of his face.
"A star? That's just stupid! What does a star have to do with anything?!"
"Ain'cha lookin' for a thing called the Mornin' Star?" Wander shrugged, still dangling from his fist.
"IT ISN'T THAT KIND OF STAR!"
There was a shifting sound, as the last tile clicked into place, jarred by Hater's yelling. A deep rumble resonated off of the stone walls, and the floor gave way under the two, pitching them into another free fall.
"I HATE THIS PLAAAACE!"
The two landed on the ground with a crash. Hater-even through the pain of cracking his spine back into place- at least noted that THIS new location at least had torches lining the dirt covered walls. The overlord growled as he threw his arms into the air.
"LOOK AT THAT, it was another trap after all! Look what you did- ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"
Hater had whipped himself around to poke Wander in the chest. It was his fault, and he needed the blame for continuing to make his life miserable. He huffed and puffed, and only found himself growing angrier as the nomad giggled every time the skeleton touched him.
"S-stoooop," Wander laughed, "that-haha- that tickles!"
That wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting, and the last one he wanted. Hater snatched his hand away, shaking it as if the little fuzzball had just infected him with space-cooties.
A creaking sound had Hater whipping back around to glare at Wander; what was be touching now? But he merely stood there, shrugging. The creaking soon turned to a whining, splintering sound, a split second before the far wall fell forward, revealing a giant stone marble.
Both Hater and Wander stood gaping at it for a moment.
"Shooould we run?" asked Wander.
"What? Oh! Uh, I don't know, is it... it's not really moving, do we just-"
As if finally awoken from its century long nap, the giant marble wobbled, and then slowly started rolling forward, gaining speed as it neared. Smaller marbles, about three feet in diameter, followed.
Running seemed like the best plan.
Hater began to scream as the ground started shaking violently- WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?! Tree people that tried to murder you with boulder snakes and pretty flowers, temples with trap doors out the wazoo- GIANT STONE MARBLES CREATED WITH THE VERY PURPOSE OF CRUSHING VISITORS! Everything that could be wrong with one location ended up happening on the glorn forsaken planet!
The skeleton found himself looking up in a panic as he suddenly caught the sight of orange at his eye level. He turned his head as he continued to run, suddenly finding himself gaping. Wander was happily using one of the small rocks to roll around, as if they WEREN'T about to die. The nomad steered the rock so he was in front of the overlord, as he chirped enthusiastically.
"Whoo! Isn't this fun, Hater?"
Hater sputtered.
"W-WHAT?! NO! I do NOT find running for my life ENJOYABLE IN THE LEAST!"
"Aww, that's not good. Everything's enjoyable if you give it a chance!"
"NOT DYING!"
"Oh, well...huh. You might have a point there."
"DO SOMETHING!" Hater yelled. He watched as Wander shrugged, turned around on the marble, and jumped off- Hater's face fell. Did he just leave him there to be crushed?
The overlord yelped when his feet left the ground, and when he finally gathered the courage to open his eyes, he was flying above the rolling stones. What in glorn's name was happening now? His gaze snapped up and was met with that goofy grin; the two of them were swinging from some kind of thick vine, Hater wrapped tightly in one of Wander's arms, the other clutched the vine.
"HA!" Hater yelled down at the marbles, which actually looked like marbles from their new vantage point. "Thought you were gonna crush us, HUH? Thought we were scaaared, HUH?"
The marbles were beginning to not look like marbles again, were they getting bigger? ... No, they were getting closer. Hater realized in horror that momentum was sending them swinging back into the murderous stones. Hater screamed again as he clutched tighter to the swinging nomad.
THIS was it. This was going to be the way he finally died.
Meanwhile, Sylvia found herself with her own set of problems.
"Oh geeze," she said as she found herself stuck between a fork in their path, two directions to choose from, "which way are we supposed to go now?"
"Maybe I, Sir Peeps-a-lot, can be of assistance my colorful candy steed!"
Oh great, this guy again. She had nearly forgotten about the watchdog's condition, as he had been going in and out of sleep while she was traveling down the pyramid's lit halls. His weight and size was just about the same as Wander's, so it was easy to forget she was with an enemy at all. Sylvia eyed him warily as he fell off her saddle, landing on his face with an audible 'splat'.
Commander Peepers, however, didn't think much of it as he picked himself up and pointed down the hall towards the left.
"Tally onward, Sprinkles, this is the way we must go!"
The zbornak scoffed.
"Oh yeah? What makes you think that, squinty?"
"Can you keep a secret?" The officer leaned close to Sylvia as he began to whisper. "I can smell the bumble bees from here."
"That doesn't even make sense!"
"Shhh!" Sylvia found a finger pressed to her lips, and she glared down at the watchdog. He was really beginning to push his luck. A moment later his finger was gone, as he took off down the hall. Sylvia snorted in annoyance, and trudged after him, a heavy scowl on her face.
It looked as if someone had actually put thought into building this hall, the zbornak noted. Wide, arched niches were carved into the stone walls on both sides, the whole length of the hall. Stone lions, their mouths forever casted in toothy snarls, sat in each arch. A lit torch flickered between each arch, shadows dancing across the walls.
Sylvia jumped when Peepers was suddenly right next to her face, hanging from her bridle.
"Pssst... Sprinkles... they know we're here." he whispered.
She shivered. This place was giving her the creeps, and he wasn't helping.
"Heh, don't be ridiculous. I mean, we're obviously the only ones in this stuffy old temple." she chuckled nervously, eyes darting around.
"Nonsense!" Peepers continued to whisper, this time in a harsher tone. "don't you hear the buzzing? The bumble bees know we're coming, and they will readily defend their honey!"
The watchdog hopped back onto Sylvia's saddle, as he thrust his arm into the air- almost as if he was holding a sword that only he could see. Peepers then shouted loud enough so his voice echoed creepily off the walls.
"WELL, you can't hide your sweet honey marmalade from US, you bee-beasts! My beautiful unicorn and I will CLAIM your sweet vomit-y goodness in the name of the queen!"
Sugar Sprinkles was NOT amused. Sylvia growled, but decided to say nothing as she continued her way down the hall- don't engage in his nonsense. The watchdog had merely gone bonkers, koo-koo in the head big time, and she was only keeping an eye on him because she felt sorry for him. Yeah, that was it-sorry for the pathetic guy. He was making a total fool of himself- she would be completely heartless if she didn't feel even a smiggen of pity for him.
Sylvia had been so into her own thoughts, she had failed to notice that each row of torches were going out the further they went down the hall. It was only once they were engulfed by darkness once more did she realize there was a problem.
The problem only became bigger once she heard a low growl coming from behind her.
"Uh...Peepers...That's...that's you, right?"
"GRrrrrr! Graaah! Gr-huh? Oh, yeah, that's me." came Peeper's voice from the darkness. Sylvia relaxed some.
"Well cut it out! You're freakin' me out over-"
She was interrupted by a roar. Oh, she hoped that had been Peepers again.
"Wow!" she heard the commander say. "Yours was way better, Sprinkles."
Oh grop. Sylvia tried swallowing the lump in her throat. "Ah yeah... thaaaat, wasn't me."
She slowly turned around, completely losing whatever sense of direction she'd managed to hold onto in the inky blackness, and let out a squeaky "eep" when she saw countless pairs of glowing red eyes staring back at them.
"OKAY, WE'RE GETTING OUTTA HERE!"
Sylvia started running in the opposite direction of the glowing eyes- the sound of heavy stampeding far too close for comfort. She ran and ran, blinded by the dark and only vaguely aware of the arms wrapped tightly around her long neck. The zbornak was scared-she was TERRIFIED, alright?!
"Oh, I just hope Wander is having a better time than us!"
She had no time to spare any more thoughts to her best buddy, as she felt a clawed paw try to snatch her tail.
Oh, how she REALLY hated this place!
Lord Hater really hated this place!
The time of their destruction was quickly coming to hand- the large marble just seconds away from crushing them. He was going to die, in the arms of his worst enemy, and...and all his stuff was going to go to Peepers! His planets, his ship, HIS AWESOME GUITAR COLLECTION! Everything would go to him, and he would be touching them all with his itty bitty sweaty hands.
The whole situation really sucked!
The skeleton's thoughts quickly switched gears, however, as the nomad he was holding onto shifted his body-making them go towards the thing trying to kill them even faster!
WAS HE INSANE?!
"Hater! Ya gotta lean, okay? Trust me, buddy, everything's gonna be hunky dorey~!"
Terror for his life had Hater obeying without a second thought- not that he would have had time for one - and he leaned with everything he had. It only seemed to be swinging them toward the stone wall.
"WRONG WAY!" Wander yelped.
"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WHICH WAY!" he leaned the other way, and they avoided crashing into the wall my mere inches, only to swing back around toward the marble of doom that was still trying to murder them.
"YOU HAVE REALLY STUPID IDEAS!" Hater roared, angrily. Wander didn't reply to that, and Hater didn't know if he hadn't heard him or he was just ignoring him.
The terror only intensified once they were directly over the runaway boulder, as he felt gravity pulling them down toward it; had Wander let go of the vine?! That he had, and when Hater's sneakers planted themselves on the rolling stone, it took every reflex and balance ritual he knew to keep from tumbling off of it, legs pumping and scurrying as he tried his best to keep up.
"I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"
Yelling was, for the first time Hater could remember, not helping him feel any better.
Wander, who had ended up being carried in Hater's arms as the skeleton continued to run for the both of him, merely smiled. The overlord found himself nearly tripping again when he was surprised by the sudden sound of banjo music. He glared down at the nomad.
"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE TIME FOR THAT?!"
The little guy continued to play on-completely ignoring him once more. OH, oh that was IT! Hater was SO tempted to just throw him somewhere- maybe even in front of him so that the boulder could just crush him. Wouldn't THAT be perfect! Hater was so lost in his thoughts, that it took him a moment to realize that running on top of the large stone had become easier- his movements now matching the steady fast pace of the banjo music.
Wander was...helping him?
Hater didn't get to question this, however, as he looked up and noted that they were heading straight towards a dead end. The overlord screamed once more, finding himself tense up as he was ready to crash into the wall.
And still the banjo music played on.
Sylvia and Peepers had found themselves trapped-the wall behind them hindering their escape. The zbornak found herself frantically feeling the wall, as her eyes stayed focused on the red eyes that were coming closer and closer with every second. This was it, they were a goner.
No, they were NOT goners! This just meant that the time for running was over with-now was the time to fight for their survival. Sylvia put up her dukes, hoping around and preparing herself to start throwing punches. She was amped, she was ready to go.
Which was a good thing, because now the creatures were close enough she could actually make out the shadowy figures around the horrid glowing eyes. They were...they were the stoned lions from earlier! A few up front snarled, she could feel their hot breath on her face.
As well as smell their breath, oh boy!
"Alright, stand back Peepers. Mama has a date with destin- HUH?!"
Sylvia was surprised when the watchdog leapt in front of her, punching the nearest stone creature in the face. She would have found herself mildly impressed by the fact his fists were able to stand it….
That is, until Peepers had to spoil it by opening his mouth.
"Grrr- your stingers shall not harm a hair on my candy steed's mane! We have come for your honey, AND WE SHALL TAKE IT!"
The lion actually stopped snarling for a second, to look at the tiny combatant in bewilderment. The lions behind it stopped as well, momentarily shocked into silence. The assaulted lion shook its head, and was back to snarling, the rest joining in soon after.
The lions pounced, Sugar Sprinkles and Sir Peeps-a-lot leapt to meet them in battle. Fists flew, claws sliced, tails swung, and teeth bit.
Sylvia's foot made a direct hit to the side of a lion's head, the worn stone crumbling and turning to dust upon impact.
"AW yeah! You mess with the bull, you get the HORNS- " but being without a head did not seem to hinder the beast at all, and Sylvia ducked just in time to avoid having her face clawed off.
"Oh lupnuk."
Peepers' tiny fists beat uselessly against the back of one lion, hanging on best he could as the thing tried its best to throw him off.
"My hammer fists...THEY DO NOTHING AGAINST THE BEES!"
The watchdog was then suddenly bucked off the stone beast-causing him to crash into Sylvia. Both slammed into the stone wall, the darkness spinning around them. The lions used this time to get closer and closer; all were ready to pounce.
This was it, this was the end. The zbornak was going to die in the arms of a hallucinating watchdog, while her best buddy needed her. Wander could been out there, hurt, dying in a pool of his own blood- waiting for her to come to him. Knowing she would not be able to save him hurt her more than her already aching back did.
"Oh Wander, I'm so so sorry!"
Their demise, however, was going to have to wait. The walls around them rumbled violently, shaking the whole hall. Even the stone lions stopped their attack, as they looked around-just as alarmed by this development. Neither they, nor Sylvia and Peepers, had time to think much of it...as suddenly the adjacent wall was destroyed by a large mass-
Crushing the lions with them.
Sylvia and Peepers watched as the rest of their expedition team toppled off of the giant marble and fell to the floor of the hall, the marble continuing its course, taking out the wall across from it, too.
"Wander!" Sylvia shouted, grinning now. Wander leapt out of Hater's grasp, dashing over to his friend, leaping into her arms, laughing joyfully.
"Hey, Syl!"
They embraced.
Countless horrors that could have befallen her pal had been eating at the back of her mind, but she decided not to mention them; obviously he had been able to take care of himself.
"Glad to see ya, buddy."
Hater sat there, on the temple floor, glaring at the two. Just look at how happy those two morons were. They did not deserve to be happy, they belonged in a cell on his ship- forever miserable; and here they were just happy to have each other- even though they were in the belly of an ancient deathtrap- probably to never see the light of day again. They were happy, they were fine, while Hater was angry, repeatedly nearly killed, or terrified, and just plain miserable. It was how it always was with those two, wasn't it? Their existence served only to be the bane of his.
"The white rabbit has returned to save us all!" Peepers shouted, leaping at his boss, and latching onto his arm.
And then there was THIS guy!
Hater was no longer in the mood to deal with idiocy. The skeleton instantly grabbed onto the eyeball, throwing him to the ground, before jumping up to his full height. He raised his arms, completely ready to hurt his third in command. He smiled wickedly as he threw down his green bolts, making contact with the officer. Peepers screamed, body convulsing wildly. He didn't do it for too long, stopping just as soon as he had began. However, Peepers laid on the temple ground- a charred mess- all the same.
Yes, good, that actually DID make him feel a little more like his good old -a.k.a EVIL- self! Hater, in a better mood, looked up over at the two friends...who were busy looking disapprovingly at him. The skeleton's smile fell as he began to glare.
"What?"
Sylvia was the first to speak up.
"Was that REALLY necessary?"
"Yes."
Apparently it had been- Commander Peepers found himself groaning as he sat up. He blinked twice, looking at his fellow travel companions and the state they were in- Hater's robes a mess, Wander covered in dirt, and Sylvia sporting a nice black eye. He cleared his throat.
"Um, soooo...Any particular reason I have no idea where we are and why you guys look like crud?"
"See?" Hater gestured toward the commander. Yeah, that was totally what he meant to do.
Sylvia shot him a sideways glare.
"So that's all it took to get you out of loopy land? Ya done callin' me Sugar Sprinkles?" she asked Peepers.
His pupil shrank to the size of a pinhead.
"Who told you about Sugar- I mean, I don't know what you're yammering about... but hey! Those markings on the wall back..." Peepers looked around again, and scratched his head- where were they again? "Um, back somewhere, they warned about this place being filled with deadly traps! Like tricky puzzles-"
"We know." mumbled Hater.
"... aaand ferocious, sentient stone beasts-"
"We know." grumbled Sylvia.
"And something about a giant ball of some kind that'll squish you?"
"Oh! I know that one!" Wander piped up, waving his hand.
Ah. That was why they all looked like that. That was one question answered.
"Huh. So now what, did we do the reverse sphinx too, or what? Where's the Morning Star?"
That certainly got the group's attention. Wander was the first to respond, while the others were busy wondering what was a reverse sphinx, and why they should have been watching out for it.
"Nope, but if it's that nice looking lady sleeping in the other room there...I guess we're on the right track!"
"Nice lady?"
Peepers turned around and looked in the direction the nomad was referring to. There, indeed, was somebody in the other room. It looked like a woman with a lion head. The golden furred woman was curled up in a chair, the soft sound of snoring could be heard even at their distance. Oh...oh that was lucky! Maybe they could just sneak on by her without having any problems at all!
"Welp, let's not be rude! I'm gonna go introduce us!"
Before the others could stop him, Wander had already made his way into the room, and was almost to the sleeping guard.
Peepers face palmed. Hater glared. Sylvia shrugged and followed Wander.
"Well howdy, miss, I couldn't help but notice this real nice temple y'got here, an'- ... miss?"
The sphinx kicked in her sleep and mumbled, but didn't awaken. Wander tapped her on the shoulder, but still, she continued to sleep.
"Wander, this sphinx has been asleep for centuries, probably, and if a giant boulder crashing through didn't wake her up, I doubt anything will." Sylvia pointed out, coming to a stop beside him.
The nomad scratched his head in thought, looked up, and smiled. He swiped his hat off of his head, and began rooting around inside.
He pulled out a large, tightly woven ball of bright pink yarn.
"Yarn? How the heck is that supposed to help?" questioned the zbornak.
Wander shrugged.
"Dunno!" he tossed it across the room, and it made a muffled thudding sound as it bounced off of another wall.
One of the sphinx's eyes shot open.
"...Was that a yarn ball?"
The woman pounced the ball, as she began to roll around with it. She happily purred, as she kicked and pawed at the string. In no time at all she was happily laughing, as she began to unravel it.
The sphinx stopped, however, when her eyes landed on the group in her room. She shot up, back onto her feet, as she glared.
"YOU!" She shouted. "ALL of you- You DARE enter the great-"
Hater interrupted her.
"'Great Pyramid of the Morning Star'! Yes, WE KNOW WHERE WE ARE! GROD!"
The sphinx's glower intensified, as she made her way across the room-where a large door was waiting for her. She spread herself wide across it-just daring them to try anything funny.
"Then if you know where you are, you must know I can't let just anyone get their hands on the ancient relic."
Sylvia stepped forward, her hands balling into fists.
"So it's gonna be like that, huh?" she challenged. Just then, Peepers skidded to a halt in front of the zbornak, blocking her path.
"Wait! That's not how it works!" he protested. She merely shoved him aside with her foot.
"Out of the way, Sir Peeps-a-lot; I didn't come all this way, lost in the dark, chased and beaten by rabid granite, just to be turned away by this overgrown hairball!"
"No, listen to the small one! He knows what he speaks! I am not here to fight you; I am here to test you."
Sylvia stopped.
"Say what now?"
The Sphinx put down her arms as she explained.
"I am here to test all of life- all that dare come through- with knowledge of worlds past. It is my duty to make sure you are what you appear. It's simple, really, all you must do is answer my riddles."
Hater threw his arms in the air from frustration. UGH. This is so stupid, they were just merely feet away from his coveted relic-his weapon of ultimate distraction- and some giant pussy cat wanted to ask them childish things like RIDDLES?! Well, if the zbornak wasn't going to finish her off, HE would!
The skeleton began to spark, before he was interrupted by Wander grabbing onto his robe and legs-wrapping his arms around him in a big hug. The overlord ceased his powers as he glared down at the nomad.
"Now now, Hater- no violence, remember? If you're gonna be all grumpy and mean, we can just turn ourselves around n' come back some other time!"
AND GO THROUGH ALL THAT AGAIN?! How about he just destroy the Sphinx, capture Wander, and force him to-
'They must be willing.'
Oh how he HATED curses!
"FINE," Hater shouted- one hundred and four percent DONE with everything. "Just get on and tell your stupid riddles already!"
"Very well!" The sphinx nodded. "Then it is time for the first riddle. Prepare your minds! Your souls! Your-" the unimpressed, angry, and blank stares had her clearing her throat and getting on with it already.
"What gets wetter... the more it dries?"
"The answer is obviously, 'a towel'." Sylvia answered. The others nodded, and "Ohh"'d in agreement. The sphinx looked bewildered.
"Alright, good, yes, very good, you have passed the first test! First of many! Okay, okay, here's one; the more of these you put into a barrel, the lighter it becomes!"
"Holes." Peepers answered, unimpressed. The sphinx's jaw dropped. She waved her hands in the air in front of her.
"Alright! Fine! You got that one, too. How's this one- what breaks the moment you speak its name?"
There was a pause. And then.
"Silence." Wander whispered.
The sphinx found herself sputtering, as she waved her arms wildly.
"But...but..BUT HOW! These are riddles from times past! Our most wise of men, long since gone, took them eons to to come up with them!"
"Yeah, " Sylvia responded with a role of her eyes. "And we've all heard them to death. They ain't profound, sister."
The others started moving towards the entrance once more, done with the guard's nonsense. The sphinx panted nervously as her claws dug into the stone frame.
"Nonono, seriously! I have one! A challenging one! Please! I am weightless, but you can see me- put me in a bucket and I'll make it lighter! What am-"
"AGAIN WITH THE STUPID 'HOLE'?!" Hater roared as he pushed her aside, not caring at all when she fell onto her face. He began walking backwards into the room as he shook his fist at the cat woman.
"Your riddles suck, lady!"
Wander was about to say something, before he was picked up by his zbornak companion-already walking through the door- with Peepers following behind.
"Don't even bother, buddy. Just say 'goodbye' to the pretty kitty already."
"Okey dokey, goodbye miss! I had fun playing your word games!"
Waving his hand, it didn't take long before they were gone...leaving one pathetically sad sphinx to question just where she had went horribly wrong.
