Chapter 7
Hold on because this one is a doozy! I know it's been a while since I've updated. I deeply miss ONCE now that it's over. However, I was a bit disappointed by the series finale. I mean I know that Eddy and Adam had more ideas and that they wanted to develop the new characters more, but, I think we all knew that with the departure of the most beloved characters, the show was going to struggle. I kinda wish that they had ended with season 6 because it was all tied up nicely and everyone had their happy endings. I just had a hard time getting into the final season. Drop me a comment and let me know if it's just me or if you agree.
This chapter is very angsty and has all kinds of emotions going on. I love this story because it allows me to channel all my frustrations and emotions into something creative. I know this isn't my most popular story and that's okay. it's therapeutic for me. :) I hope you enjoy!
"Alright, what do we know?" Jack asked coming up the stairs
"Well we know that we've been made. Someone was very intentional about the hit. They used a cut to break the glass and then threw a brick in for good measure. Jack, we have to move them"
"That's what I was afraid you were going to say" Jack said as he ran his hand down his face. "Have you already contacted headquarters?"
"Yep, they have a place in Maine that should suffice for what we're looking for. It's a smaller house but further away from here so the chances of anyone finding them go down drastically."
"I like it"
"Wheel's up in 4 hours"
"Let's move people" Jack instructed before heading down to the basement and briefing the family.
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I was getting more and more impatient as the minutes ticked by. What was taking Jack so long? I hated being left out of the details. Even more, I hate when I have no control over what is going on. As soon as I saw the door open I began to make my way toward it. I was relieved to see that it was Jack.
"Alright everyone, upstairs is clear but we don't think that it's in your best interest that we say here. We're moving everyone to a new safehouse in four hours. I need you all to go to your rooms and pack your things. Your assigned agents will escort you. Let's move" and with that he put his arm around my shoulders and started leading me up to my room.
"Jack"
"When we get to your room" He said in a whisper. I was just glad that it wasn't a no. I started walking quicker until we finally made it to my room and Jack shut the door. "What is going on Jack?"
"I already told you, the house is okay, but we want to move you and the Nolan's for safety reasons"
"Jack, stop it. I'm not a child"
"Sammy, all you need to know is that my team isn't going to let anything happen to you"
"I'm not leaving this room until you tell me what happened and why you're moving us" I was standing my ground. I wasn't going to let him treat me like I was a small child. If the Nolan's got to know what was going on, so did I.
"Sammy, I'm not going to lie to you, but I also think that sharing all the details with you is unnecessary. Will you trust me that I will tell you what you need to know?"
"Jack, I appreciate you trying to protect me, but I'm not a child. I will worry more if you only tell me the fringe details. I appreciate what you're trying to do but, I don't need to be treated with kid gloves" I could tell that Jack was still tossing around how to answer this but I also knew that I was closer to getting my way.
"Alright Sammy, I'm going to share this with you but I want something from you in return"
"Name it"
"One, you have to tell me when you feel like you know enough to trust me. I want you to feel like I trust you, but I also need you to trust me."
"Okay, done, now what's going on"
"One more thing"
"Jack"
"Hey, you play by my rules or you don't get to know at all"
"Fine, but hurry up"
"You can't tell the Nolan kids. Let David and Mary share what they want with their kids"
"Duh, now what is going on!"
"Alright, we had someone attack the house and it looks targeted. It was a message that someone knows who is here and we can't keep you here. We're flying you and the Nolan's to a small town in Maine. We're hoping it's far enough away that no one will know you or the Nolan's. The only thing is that it is a smaller safe house so we are going to have to give each other extra grace"
"Maine? Yea, nothing says out of the way like Maine. Do I still get my own room?"
"We're still working out those details but most likely you'll be sharing a room with Sue. The Nolan's may all share one large room so that we can have a command center. But I think you know enough to start packing your bags"
"Fine, I guess I wouldn't mind sharing a room with Sue. Also, I'm already packed" I said pulling my bag out from under my bed. "I never actually unpacked"
"Well, that makes things easy. Let's go down to the living room and hopefully we can get on the road" and with that, I let Jack lead me out of the room. I wouldn't tell anyone, but this was starting to get too real. Someone had actually found this safehouse and was trying to hurt us. It wasn't that being surrounded by FBI agents and being taken to a safehouse didn't make it real for me but having someone physically attack the house really brings the danger of the situation to the forefront.
Jack and I made it to the living room and realized that the Nolan's were still packing. We decided to go to the kitchen and grab a soda while we were waiting. He then had one of the other agents who was typically only in the house at night come watch me while he went into the control room to what I assume was make a call or finalize some details about this move to the next safe house. A few minutes later, the Nolan's made their way to the living room and the agents ushered us all to the garage where we loaded back into the cars that we had arrived in. I was glad that I didn't have to ride with the Nolan's being that we were all about to be on a plane together for the next few hours. I wasn't as hostile towards them as I was when we arrived a few days ago, but I still wasn't keen on spending ample amounts of time with them.
"Alright everyone, let's roll" Jack said into his radio. With a that, we were off.
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Not having Sammy in the car with us made me anxious. I know that she was safe with Jack, but I would feel better if she was in the car with us. Thankfully the airport wasn't too far away and should would be back with us on the plane. The longer this goes on the guiltier and guiltier I feel for putting my family in this situation. The only bright stop in all of this is Sammy, even if it wasn't the way that I wanted this to happen. One thing I am sure of, as soon as this is all over, I'm resigning my post and moving into the private sector. I can't keep putting Mary and the kids thought this.
"Dad"
"Yea buddy"
"Do we get to go on a plane?"
"Yea, we do kid. We're going to fly to our new safe house"
"That's so cool!" Neal always reminded me that there was still some innocence left in the world. That it wasn't all bad. "It is cool, you'll get to see the world from way up high."
"Will be higher than the clouds?"
"We sure will buddy"
"Are they taking Sammy to a different house?"
"No, sweetheart, she'll be there with us" Snow was always better at handling this part of the conversation. I love all my kids, but when it came to Sammy, I just didn't know how to respond to her, to Neal, to Emma, to anyone. I was still trying to get my own emotions in check.
"Then why isn't she in the car with us? Why did they put her in a different car?"
"It's just because of needing rom. We couldn't fit her and Jack in this car, so they had to get in another car. She'll be with us on the plane, okay?"
"Okay" Neal seemed down. He really was taking a liking to the other Agents and to Sammy. Then again, Neal knew no strangers. I really hoped that he wouldn't annoy Sammy too bad. Then again, if he and Emma's relationship was any indicator, Sammy would probably have her moments. His curiosity about life is something that I admire about my son, but it can also be the one thing that drives others nuts. I guess a pestering little brother comes with the territory of being the oldest sibling.
Emma was being pretty quiet. Then again, Emma and I were always more alike. We needed our space to process what we were thinking and feeling before we started communicating. She really was handling things better than she could have. As I rethink everything, she really has every right to hate me. I really did create Sammy to be this untouchable figure. I mean, every parent knows that kids aren't good all the time, but Emma was right, I did act like Sammy was the perfect child that never was. I pulled them all into my guilt and frustration and made them live out what I felt was my way of atoning for my sins. What was I thinking? What had I done? No wonder…
"David"
"Yea?"
"You need to stop"
"Stop what?"
"Stop overthinking all of this and figuring out every place that you fell short. We can't turn back time David"
"Mary"
"No David, the only thing that we can do is pick up the pieces and figure out how to move forward from here, as a family"
"Mary, I want that more than anything, I just feel like I've set us all up for failure"
"I think that you may had gotten us off to a bumpy start, but I don't think that you've set us up for failure. The only way we fail is if we don't learn from our mistakes or if we try to act like none of this has happened, which we won't. David, I love you, but you tend to swing to extremes. You made mistakes. It happens. You also can't expect everyone to jump to the other extreme and start acting like we have all been a family from day one. It will happen but we have to let it grow and develop and become, whatever it is it's going to become but we can't rush that processes."
"you're right" I kissed her hand. She is always right. "I feel so guilty. Guilty for what I'm putting us through now, what I've put you and the kids thought, what I put Sammy through"
"You gave her her best chance" Came Emma's small voice. She didn't stop staring out the window but I knew she had been paying attention to everything we were saying. "You did what you thought was best for Sammy. If thought that being with you and her mom was best, you would have done that. You gave her the opportunity to be happy"
"You're right Em, but that doesn't mean I don't still feel guilty for not reaching out when I had the chance."
"If you had, you would have thrown her world for just as much of a loop as you are now dad. There is no good time for someone to find out that their parents have been lying to them for years. There were times when I wish you had never told us about Sammy because your constant reminders of her drove me nuts. But at least I knew who my family was. She would have felt the same way wither she found out now or later. Granted, the situation wasn't exactly ideal with the FBI and all, but in a way, this is a blessing in disguise. Had she found out some other way, she may have shut you out completely. This way, you're forced to work things out"
"When did you turn 45?"
"Yesterday" Her smile made me feel like I was flying. It's an unspeakable feeling when your child becomes the teacher and shows that all the effort you put into teaching your kids how to be good people paid off. "Thank you Em. You and your mom…I don't know what I'd do without you"
"What about me?!" Neal protested
"Or you buddy! I love all of you so much! We will make it thought this, together"
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I spent most of the trip to the airport lost in my own thoughts. Everything was happening so fast. I had had three heart to heart conversations with my half-sister, my would be step mom, and my new dad. Only one of those three did I technically initiate. I was not one to wear my heart on my sleeve. I would much rather stuff all my emotion inside, have one good cry every few months when it becomes too much, and then move on. My new would be family was the complete opposite of that. It was all a bit much to take in.
"Here ya go" Jack said shoving a can of soda in my face
"Thanks"
"Someone has to make sure you're getting enough fluids"
"Passing out for a few days wouldn't be so bad, a private hospital room, time away from everyone"
"Yea, not happening" Jack didn't seem as amused by my story as I was
"What Jack? Not big on hospitals?"
"No, and I also don't need you out in the open with traceable medical records"
"Couldn't you just give me a fake name?"
"Sure, I was thinking Gertrude Carmichael"
"That's nasty! That sounds like a scraggly old woman with a huge mole on her face"
"Then I think you should avoid ending up hospitalized. Drink" I just rolled my eyes. He really had a way of killing people's dreams. "You know that you should probably start addressing how you feel now before you are all on a tiny plane together"
"How am I supposed to feel Jack?"
"How do you feel?"
"Like crap! I mean, how is it supposed to feel when these people walk into your life, claim to be your family and immediately want to have intimate heart to heart conversations about it before you have even had the chance to process what just came out of their mouth?!"
"It's about time you lost it"
"You pushed me"
"I meant to. Look Sammy, I think you and I both know that it's better you have this moment with me than with them on the place or at the next safe house."
"I can't do this Jack. I can't get on a place with these people and have them continue to try and act like we have been a family our whole lives. I can't pretend that all of this is normal. I can't"
"I'm not asking you to."
"But they are! They keep calling me and Emma and Neal 'the kids'. I'm 20 freaking years old! I'm not a kid anymore! I'm not even a teenager! I'm an adult who has been living on her own for two years and I have a mom and dad and two sisters who are the only family I have ever known. I'm not their kid"
"I know…and because I know that, I'm not allowing them to keep you out of the loop."
"Really? So having me cornered off with Emma and Neal was keeping me in the loop?"
"I knew that pulling you into the conversation would mean that Emma would want in on it to. I didn't tell you in that moment, but I did come and tell you once Emma and Neal were safely away with their parents. Sometime you have to play the game"
"I'm done with this game"
"You can't be done. You have to fight. I'm not saying that this is going to be easy, but you are strong Sammy. You are going to make it through this"
"What's the point? My life is never going to be the same." Just then the car came to a stop
"We're here Jack" came the driver
"You can do this" Jack said squeezing my hand before exiting the car and gesturing for me to follow. I stepped outside of the vehicle and the cold air hit my face. That's when I lost it. I couldn't do this anymore. I snapped.
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I watched Jack help Sammy out of the car. She looked tired. Not just tired, defeated. I watched as the wind picked up and blew her hair about her face. That's when I saw the look on her face change. Something was wrong. I tried to get out of the car before she took off, but I was too late.
I watched as Emma started sprinting across the tarmac toward the fence that surrounded the air strip. I tried to go over her but Bobby and Miles were two steps ahead of me and pulled me toward the plane while Sue and Mary ushered the kids along. I was helpless.
"Dad?"
"It's okay guys, let's just get on the plane"
"What about Sammy?"
"She'll be joining us in just a few minutes" Sue reassured Neal as she ushered him to take a seat in one of the oversized chairs"
"Sit down mate, I promise, we'll bring her back" Bobby said as he moved me toward the chair next to Neal. I guess they figured I wouldn't fight them in front of my son. "I'd like to know how she was able to run off in the first place! I'm a grown man and somehow I made in on the plane but my 20 year old daughter slipped by?"
"I understand you're upset David, but Jack is going to keep her safe. We'll be wheel's up in 5 everyone, get strapped in"
"Hey!"
"David, I think you should use the restroom" Mary said coming over and squeezing my shoulder tightly and effectively cutting off my would-be tirade against the smug agents. I knew she was right, with everything else, the last thing the kids needed was for me to lose it in front of them. I quickly made my way to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. I'm not made, I'm petrified. I Just got the chance to have Sammy in my life and I don't want to screw it up.
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I took off. I needed to get out of the situation and this was my chance. The minute Jack's hand left my arm I felt my legs moving. In a way, it was kind of an out of body experience, like I was watching myself run but I wasn't the one doing it. I figured that Jack and the other agents were probably yelling my name and telling me to stop but I couldn't hear them. The only thing I heard was the wind rushing in my ears as the fence around the airstrip came closer and closer into view. It was when I looked up that I noticed the barbed wire. There was no way I was going to be able to launch myself over that without doing some major damage. My brain went into hyper drive as I began to scan the surrounding area for any type of opening. 300 Meters ahead of me, I spotted it. A Car barrier that I would be able to launch myself over and finally get away from all of this.
I willed my body to move as fast as I could. The orange barriers became larger and larger as I approached. This was going to work. I was going to be able to jump over them like I did the hurdles in high school. I was almost there when all of a sudden, I was falling. I hit the ground with a thud and felt another body fall on top of me and quickly snake their arm around my midsection in a vice grip.
"Gotcha. She's secure. Get me a cart over here and get us to the plane." It was Jack. I looked up and saw the orange barriers were a mere 10 meters away. I had been so close. Suddenly I was being pulled up to a standing position as a 4-wheeler pulled up next to us. Jack pulled me over and lifted me onto the ATV before hopping on behind me with the same vice grip around my midsection as before. I knew that what I did was wrong, but I don't regret it. I don't want to get on that place and face those people again. I want out.
We pulled up to the plane in a matter of minutes. Jack quickly slipped off before taking a tight hold of my forearm and moving me onto the place and sitting me in the first chair he saw. "Let's go" he said in a low growl. He was standing in front of me with his arms crossed. I guess he was expecting some remorse or apology. He could stand there all day, it wasn't happening. I did what I did because it was the only time I have had a say in anything, I was taking back control of my life, he took that way from me.
