Title: A Leap Of Faith
Authors: Sara And Lizzie
Rating: T for language, mild sex
Disclaimer: It would be nice to own grey's anatomy, sadly all we own are a lot of high priced shoes and handbags, and both seasons on dvd.
Summary: AU. Meredith leaves Seattle the night that Addison comes. Five years later, she's standing at the back of the church, about to marry another man, when she admits to herself that she's still very much in love with Derek Shepherd. So she heads back to Seattle, and finds a very broken Derek. Will they be able to heal each other, or is it too late?
Author's Note: Another update! Yay! We're trying so hard to get everything updated at least twice before next Sunday, so keep an eye out.
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I could be stuck here for a thousand years
without your arms to drag me out.
Five Years Ago: Philadelphia
"Honey, what happened to you?" asked the friendly security guard to whom Meredith flashed her Jefferson ID everyday. "It's been a week now, and every day you come in her lookin' like somebody ran over your dog."
Meredith offered a small smile. "I just moved here. From Seattle. It was kind of a rough transition."
"Bad break up?" the woman asked.
Meredith winced. "You could say that."
"Child, it's written all over your face. This is a story. Tell Susie what happened."
Meredith bit her lip. "I met a guy. In a bar." She started. "I was drunk, and he took advantage. Or he was drunk, and I took advantage. But, either way, he turned out to be my boss."
"Lordy." Susie said with a low whistle.
"Which actually wasn't our biggest problem." Meredith said. "We got past that, and we started a thing. A dating thing. A relationship thing."
"So what went wrong?"
"He had a wife." She said, trying to sound casual.
"Sweet Lord in Heaven. No wonder you look so sad."
Present Day: Seattle
Derek left Mark in the gallery to his normal life, one free of ex girlfriends who had both saved and ruined you. Mark's words echoed in his mind.
She's still in love with you.
But she couldn't be. If she was still in love with him, she wouldn't have gotten engaged and almost married to someone else. She wouldn't have stayed across the country for five years, without so much as a phone call or an email.
She would have known that every day she was gone; he fell a little farther into his self induced hell. She would have known that he desperately needed saving, and she would have come back to save him from drowning again.
But she hadn't, and this time, there had been nothing to pull him back above the water. He had drowned in loss, despair and single malt whiskey.
A voice in the back of his head reminded him of the look on Meredith's face when Addison had walked up to them, smiling and flaming haired in her fur trimmed Prada coat. It hadn't been easy for her, either. And to leave her friends… Derek shook his head. He decided to give himself some time. Some time to decide if he had it in him to forgive her. Maybe if he kept his distance, it would keep the pain at bay.
"Derek?" he heard her approaching him in the hallway, with her light footsteps and the timid voice she tended to use around him. He didn't say anything, but he couldn't make himself walk past her. "Derek, come on." She pleaded. "At least talk to me."
"I don't have anything to say." He muttered sullenly, not meeting her eyes. It hurt to look at her.
She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "You can't do this, Derek. You can't kiss me on the hood of your car, and then just…" she trailed off, desperate for him to say something. He just stared at the floor, his face set in a cold, hard expression. "I'm sorry." She whispered, starting to walk away.
"You know, I don't get it." Derek finally said, his voice a whisper. "How'd you do it?" he asked so quietly she barely heard him. "How'd you just run away and never look back? You never emailed, you never called."
Something fell into place in Meredith's head. So this is why he was so angry. "Hi." She said softly. "You've reached the office of Derek Shepherd, head of neurosurgery at Seattle Grace. I can't answer your call now, but if you leave a message, I'll return it. If this is a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 911." She whispered.
Derek stared at her and Meredith stared back at him, desperate to make him see that she had never really left him at all. "How do you know that?" he asked.
"Because I called it everyday when I thought you weren't in your office. When you answered, I hung up, but I listened to that message everyday because I needed to hear your voice." She said. She hesitated and he started to walk away. "My wedding day." She said. He stopped.
"It was supposed to be my wedding day, and while Cristina and Izzie were fussing with my dress, I snuck into the bathroom and called your office to hear it go to voicemail."
Derek turned around, and they looked at each other for a long time. Meredith took a step towards him and put a hand on his cheek. "I've been in Seattle the whole time." She whispered.
