A/N: I'm sorry it's a little late ladies, this chapter is a little less about Christian and Ana's interaction and more about Christian understanding Elena's control on his life with the help of Dr Flynn. Tomorrow I will update a chapter full of Christian and Ana for you all :D thank you to all of you for showing such support, I'm incredibly grateful to have some fantastic reviewers! :D

xo Panda


Chapter 7

Christian

Anastasia leads the procession of people from the room, why we remain I have no idea, but compared to everywhere else, at least it's private considering nobody seems to understand what knocking is these days. I heave another audible sigh - must be the sixth time so far today - and settle myself back into the sofa of Ana's private living space, John sat across from me, staring expectantly... The only problem is, I don't know where to begin,

"The beginning, Christian." John says calmly, reading my thoughts perfectly...I run him through the events of the last 3 days starting with Elena, then the research, the first meeting and subsequent footage and revelation of "Amy" and her addition to my old life, "And now Christian, how did you feel when you first found out that Ana had been in contact with Elena?"

"I don't know, at first, I guess anxiety," I say, running my fingers through my already unruly mop of hair, "Then slow boiled rage, I just kept getting angrier and angrier, who does she think she is? How fucking dare she?!" I end almost yelling at John.
"Christian," He placates in a calm, soothing voice, his strong British accent lending an air of authority which for once, I choose to heed. "When you got here, to the house, tell me what you felt,"

"I think it was sort of trepidation, I didn't expect the woman to be rich, she looked in the photo I managed to get, like a child, a pretty child but undoubtedly still a teen, I was more pissed as it looked as though she was having a strop and decided to play with her parents money...Not that her parents even had money," He sighs wearily, "Then when we came into the house I was surprised she didn't have more security, but then as soon as we walked into the living room the whole air of the place changed, it came to life, she's only about 5'4 but she has such a presence that sitting at her piano, with her back to us, everything felt electric, like a concert where the adrenaline is coursing and for the first time in so damn long I finally felt like I wasn't just Christian Grey the CEO...I went in there to blast her, to threaten with whatever I could and she laughed in my face but before I could be mean back, she would flash me the most beautiful innocent smile,"

Flynns POV

Christian smiles absently at this observation and I have to wonder, what the heck has she done to him? This is not the same guy who strode into my office less than a week ago all power hungry and ever so slightly demented...Okay, more than slightly.

As I feel the need to interrupt, he manages to head me off at the pass, "And then she turned on the TV. All those videos... She's already seen them all." He muses more to himself than addressing me, a frown marring his face, "I didn't want her to see me like that, she didn't watch them when we were in the room, she watched Taylor but mostly me. She wanted me to loose it. I did." I'm a little worried by what I'm hearing from Christian, not that he lost it, that is not the surprise that it should be; after knowing him for the last 5 years, it's practically par for the course. More worryingly is Anastasia's behavior, she reveled in his negative reaction. Her and I will need to speak later to confirm my suspicions that she may be regressing and still require treatment.

"At what point did you, and I quote 'lose it'?" I ask calmly, slipping on my impassive mask, it would do no good for Christian to see me slightly panicked.
"When she showed me a video of Elliot and Elena," At this, my eyebrows rise practically to my hairline and I think for the first time, in at least a year, I've been truly shocked by a revelation from Christian. "I was so fucking angry," he growls, gripping his shaggy copper hair, "She's just like everyone else, she never wanted me, I was a consolation prize because Elliot rejected her." He says dejectedly, his head dropped back against the cushions, "I thought she helped me 'cause she thought I was special, Elliot never had problems, he was the best kid ever, she didn't do it for me, she did it for her. I hate that she touched him! I was sick. Ana stroked my hair and my back and I didn't have a panic attack!"
He ended his statement on a yell, "Christian, we'll work through this piece by piece, why do you feel like a consolation prize?"

"It's simple - she wanted him not me, she even said it outright on the tape,"

I shook my head a little, "You always see yourself so negatively, Christian," I chide gently, "You know, it was never about you to begin with, it was never about Elliot either. It was about her, how did some of the harsher things she did to you affect her?"

He looks a little confused, "Well, I guess she liked it, she got pleasure from it," I don't think he's caught on to where I'm going with this,
"So, she got pleasure from hurting a child, and yes; before you argue, you were underage which makes you a child... What makes her different from the man who abused you as a child Christian? She got pleasure from hurting you just like he did," I probe into his psyche, I know he'll try to justify it, but I know I'm right and I'm not going to let him squirm away from the truth today, he needs to work this out and understand her real motives.

"I consented to what we did, I never consented to what the crack whore's pimp did!" He replies vehemently,

"Oh, but Christian, that's where you're wrong, as a 15 year old, you can't give consent, even saying yes, because you don't seriously know what you're consenting to. Think about it like this, if it was Mia, approached by a man 5 years older than me when she was 15, even if she said yes, would he not be a pedophile?" I ask, pushing him towards the response I want, I know manipulating his responses is not the best way to continue forward, but now that he's had the threat from Ana, he needs to realize that although unorthodox, she's actually doing him a favor.

"Noone will ever do that to Mia, I would fucking kill any old pervert who goes near her!" He hisses menacingly,
"So what is the distinction between what happened to you and what could've happened to Mia?" and he doesn't respond, there's no acceptable answer.

I raise an eyebrow, I have to wait for him to work it out for himself and I cant practically see the gears turning in his head, as if trying to solve a problem in the board room, he settles for: "I was messed up, she's not, she's sweet, and innocent, and everything I never was,"

I almost tsk him, "Okay, if you want innocence as a justification, did you have any sexual experience prior to Mrs. Lincoln?" At his head shake, I continue, "So in that respect, you were in fact innocent. You were, as you put it, messed up, but do you think that made you vulnerable or stronger?"

"Vulnerable...But I was dangerous too, she tamed that." He responds, brow furrowed,

"So, using your own words, she touched a sexually innocent and generally vulnerable fifteen year old boy..."

"But... But it wasn't...I wasn't..." he stops talking and pinches his nose between his thumb and forefinger, taking deep breaths.
"Are you okay to continue?" As he nods, I push forward, "Christian, if it was anyone else, you would have thought what she did was wrong, when you saw the videos of the other boys, did you not think what she did was wrong?"

"Of course I did! Im not a monster!" He whispers, "I just... I'm not a victim."

"No," I placate, "You're a survivor, but I need you to see that since then, even after your sexual relationship ended, you haven't actually had control, just an illusion of it." His expression is bemused and slightly perplexed, before he can cut me off, I need to tell him what I have deduced from everything I've heard, "You see, who sets up all of your submissives?"

"Elena." He replies,

"And who is the person you go to for advice?"

"Elena." He repeats,

"And, if you want something from your mother, who is the friend she consults?"

Realization seems to dawn on his face and he barely audibly repeats, "Elena."

Christian

I can't believe it! My mind seems to sputter in indignation, she controlled EVERYTHING all along, I thought it was my choice, but it was all her! How could I have been so fucking stupid?!
"Easily Christian, you were a child, 15 years old, you weren't the first child, so she had experience in what did and did not work when manipulating emotions," I didn't realize I said it out loud but now I'm glad I did, I need his assurance, I feel like a fucking idiot!

In my mind I see one of the other kids, the one with the shoulder length black hair, I knew him, he was a senior when I was a sophomore in High School, he's a lawyer, he works for GEH. I feel sick. Again! He was a jock, a normal kid, he never got in fights or any of that shit, he was a good guy, still is. A little bit strange but I guess I can attribute that to her influence. I put my face in my hands and slowly count to ten.

He's right, she put marks on me like the pimp, she put me in pain, restrained me so I couldn't defend myself, made me helpless like I was as a child, she did things I didn't want, humiliated me, I didn't need humiliating. The punishments she gave me, she would laugh at me, she would never salve my wounds, or stop when she drew blood.
"Some of the things that happened, I... The reason I wrote specific rules with my subs were because of them. Like sharing. I don't share. Ever." He nods thoughtfully back at me, "Some of the punishments were so humiliating, the way she would laugh at my pain, forcing me to focus it inside me instead of showing it, or the punishment got harsher because she wanted to see me hurting."

"So she contributed to your self loathing, you need an outlet to express your fears and pain instead of bottling it up, that's why I'm here, she tried to make you stop seeing me, removing any outlet so you would focus even more on her influence, and you would need her. Patient confidentiality means I could never even allude to your issues with anyone else, so there's never anything to worry about with me, with her there would always be the possibility of your secrets being exposed." I nod, I knew that. My brain feels like it's half shattered, half exploded and there's still a little piece that wants to talk, but not about this, I was already going to stay away, now just sealed it. I want her to pay, but statue of limitations - she'd have to have one now or in recent years, I assume. I'll have to talk to my lawyers - minus black hair. He would tell her.

"So, Christian, now we need a goal to push you forward, what would you like to achieve from this experience?"

"Two things," he pauses for effect, "I want Elena in jail, and Anastasia in my bed." And he smirks like a mad scientist, suppressing a laugh,

"Well, seems you're halfway towards one of those goals," And with that, he bursts out laughing, the bastard.

"Not quite there yet," I sigh wearily as he calms himself,

"Yes, and I'd suggest you proceed with caution," he says with utter conviction and I remember how sweetly she greeted her,

"you know one another," It's not a question, I know they do,
"Yes, she was a patient for almost 3 years, and no, just because she's no longer a patient, does not mean I'll share information about her," He says seriously.

"Glad to hear it," We turn in unison to see Ana leaning in the doorway one leg bent at the knee and propped against the door frame, still wearing the over sized shirt but tucked into a pair of red skinny jeans, with a little black hat, tousled hair and Ray Ban aviators, her black heels scraping slightly against the wall as she lowers her foot and walks through the room and into her wardrobe, just as I'm about to suggest that we should continue the conversation downstairs, Anastasia leans out of her wardrobe and says with the sweetest smile,

"Oh and Christian, you can try, but I wouldn't recommend it, I'm not easy like those little gold digging sluts you like to tie up," she tsks harshly, and her face scrunches adorably, before turning to John, "He's such a tease, it's really quite shameful."

I think my jaw just about fell off, it hit the floor so fast. I'm the tease?! I'm not the one with the bare pussy at the breakfast table!
Indignantly, I'm about to respond when John steps in, "Last time we were here, on this very sofa, I think it was you doing the teasing," WHAT! He grins indulgently at her,
"I know right! Now I realize what a complete bitch it is." She exhales and shoots me a small scowl before walking back into the wardrobe and shutting the door. Hell, had she asked me, I'd have fucked her on the bloody dining table! Or against the wall, or last night when she was in my bed! Hell, I have no trouble pleasing!

John chuckles, "I told you to be cautious, she's goading you and you're falling for it hook, line and sinker, and she's laughing at you. You already know she's smart, I think her and I discussed her I.Q. being somewhere around 178," he shrugs, "This could be entertaining." He muses to himself with a smirk, ah shit, now I know I'm in for it!