So...

I finally got over my embarrassment and read this completely (Yes, I'm embarrassed by reading things I've posted). I write this story as I see it in my head and now I understand that it might be confusing to someone without my vision already in mind. I wanted a story to be told through brief situations and conversation and if that has turned people off or confused someone I apologize. I will try to make this easier understand. Thanks to those who are still reading and those who have reviewed, put this on their favorites, and/or alerted.


MATT

What's more important? Should I do what I want or whatever the right thing is? I've never been on my own before so I don't know how it goes. I've never had to think for myself or make important decisions. Would it be easy? Would Near just let me go? Was he even in charge? I'm his best friend now maybe I should just stay with him. He didn't leave or betray me, Mello did.

Near is supposed to know the answer to everything. How else did he become Number One? That brings me to him, my only friend for help with my problem. I wouldn't have to physically "go to" him, he is on our room floor playing with toys.

"I want to go find Mello." I didn't care too much about what he thought but I could use his help.

"I completely understand why you would want to find him, however, I would strongly suggest you didn't."

"Why would you say that?"

He stopped playing with his dumb little toys and continued.

"Mello is helping with the investigation. If he wanted your help he would know where you were. Mello is also intelligent, he makes the right decisions, although they are rushed and not fully analyzed." Was he saying Mello made the right decision in leaving me behind? It doesn't matter I'm finding him anyway. So I wouldn't have Near's help, it would take longer that way. In reality I wanted him to help me. Meaning he did some research, found Mello, and I got him back. With that plan ruined I had to start thinking of my own plan. I'm sure this will make me work harder than I ever had to. Damn.

"Near, don't ever wonder why nobody likes you."

"I never wondered. I don't care."

We hadn't spoken for weeks after that. Just ignored each other. Without a friend things were much harder but I had other things to keep me company. Near wouldn't say anything but I'm sure he followed me around sometimes. I tried to make it seem like I was always busy on my own case, like I was really on my way to finding Mello and bringing his ass back here but I wasn't doing anything. I couldn't. There was too much stress involved in the planning. I wasn't supposed to make decisions. Every time I thought about it I froze. This sick feeling came to my stomach. What if it didn't work? What if Near was right? He would laugh, laugh in my face. What could I say to him then?

And there he was again, on the floor right in the middle building some new domino stucture taking up all the space. Weeks ago I would've watched him, to see what it would end up looking like, this time things were different. I stared at his fast decisions, how he knew exactly where each piece should go. He knew right away how much space he needed to move over for another row and was just so sure of himself. He even had that smug look in his eye like he knew everything and every outcome. He wouldn't know for long. I walked over to my bed where his little game had begun and sat down. I purposly stuck my foot out knocking over the first domino, subsequently knocking over the rest. I slowly watched each one fall in amusement, seeing the intricate designs unfold as my eyes finally watched the last one fall by his leg. His eyes slowly went right to mine and widened, like nothing worse had been done to him. His eyes were bright with almost-tears and I felt happy again! I couldn't help myself as I started to laugh! I had never seen Near so pitiful, like any other person. Mello would enjoy this. I pulled out one of my games and started playing while he slowly put away each domino and went to bed.


I really apologize for taking so long with this. Too many things have been going on and other people have been writing some really good stuff! I also want to try being a beta so if someone's interested PM me!

Thanks