Yu Yu Goes Xanga Chapter 7 Comment Wars part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Xanga, or Herbal Essance Shampoo.

Last Time:

Hiei was chased by the Our-Groceries-Suck-Less-Than-That-Other-Stores-And-Our-Prices-Are-Lower-Too-Mart employee and Yusuke started the comment wars.

Now:

Hiei looked behind him as he ran. "Dammit she's still following me. I wish I could just kill her." Hiei muttered to himself as he ran. Even though he was incredibly fast this annoyingly cheerful human woman could still keep up. His eye twitched slightly. He sped up. After a while he turned a corner and wasn't looking where he was going and had somehow ended up in the women's underwear department. He looked behind him to see if the employee was still following him and crashed right into one of the bra racks. Hiei had landed with his face in one of the bras. Unfortunately for him a woman in about her thirties had been passing through at that time and saw him like that.

"Pervert!" She shouted as she ran him over with her shopping cart. Hiei had little swirls in his eyes. After a moment or two he recovered and brushed himself off. He wondered if Kurama had to endure this kind of thing every time he went grocery shopping. No wonder he had made Hiei go get the shampoo for him.

Keiko Yukimura wiped the sweat from her forehead, sighed, and sat down in a comfortable looking armchair in her living room. She had been helping her parents in their restaurant with the big lunch crowd and now she was exhausted. She leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. She wondered how Yusuke was doing. Suddenly she remembered his xanga entry and her comment from before. "I wonder if he's commented back or updated." Keiko wondered out loud. She got up and walked up the stairs to her room. She started her computer and then sat down in the grey computer chair She waited impatiently for windows to start up and then clicked on her web browser, Shitscape Web Explorer, and then went to her xanga site. She saw that she had two knew comments. One of them was from Yusuke and the other was from a user she didn't recognize. She read Yusuke's comment first and was frowning when she finished.

"Yusuke you jerk." She muttered under her breath. She clicked on his name to go to his site and comment him back. She felt surprisingly bitchy as she clicked on the leave a comment button. She began typing furiously and without thinking about hat she was going to say she had already typed a nice long message for Yusuke complete with scolding, a guilt trip, and everything else. It read:

"Yusuke, you know I only do this because I care about you. You could've been seriously injured! And what about school? You can't just let yourself become a deadbeat! You should start making better choices and thinking about someone besides yourself every once in a while! I worry myself to death over you just to hear you yell at me for it. Just grow up Yusuke!"

Keiko reread her comment and gave a satisfied nod. She hit the submit button and then went back to her page to read her other comment. Once she had finished reading it she got out of her computer chair and started pacing around her room while saying "ew ew ew ew ew" over and over again. That comment had read:

"Hey ur pr3tty hawt. U nD m3 nd dat blue-HaIrEd GuRl ShOuLd GeT It On SoMeTiMe." The comment would've been creepy no matter who had left it but seeing as though it had been left by a 40 year old pedophile named Melvin it was extra creepy. Keiko went to go call someone and tell them about this guy.

Her first instinct was to go to Yusuke seeing as though he was her boyfriend, but he would probably wouldn't be home anyway. She had no way of contacting Botan in the spirit world, Genkai didn't have a phone in her temple so she and Yukina were out of the question, and she would've hated to bother Shizuru with this. That just left Kuwabara. He probably wouldn't know what to do but at least he would tell off the pedophile for her. He was sort of like an older brother in a way even though he was the same age as she was. Keiko picked up the phone and dialed Kuwabara's number.

"Hey Kuwabara residence. This is Kazuma speaking." Keiko was slightly shocked at the very formal way that Kuwabara answered the phone since she had been expecting a "yo" or something, but she was glad that he had picked up anyway.

"Hi Kuwabara, it's Keiko."

"Oh hi Keiko. Are you lookin for Urameshi again? Cuz I haven't seen him around lately." Kuwabara whispered into the phone.

"No, I actually called about something else. Why are you whispering?"

"It's cuz of Shizuru. She's been on my case about studying a lot lately since it's almost the end of the quarter and we get our report cards soon. She'll kick my ass if she finds out I'm not studying."

"Oh, maybe I should just call back later..."

"No, it's fine. So what's wrong?"

"Have you been on Xanga lately?" Keiko asked.

"No, why?"

"Well, I got a comment from this creepy guy named Melvin. I noticed that he commented Yusuke and Koenma too. He's soooooooo creepy. Since Yusuke probably isn't home I figured I'd call you. Can you do something about this guy?" Keiko asked.

"Well, it's kinda hard since I don't know him in real life or anyth-" Kuwabara's conversation was cut short by a voice yelling up the stairs.

"Kazuma! I thought I heard the phone ring! Who was it?" Shizuru called up the steps to her younger brother.

"It was just those stupid telemarketers again! I told them that we didn't want any of their Girl Scout cookies or whatever it is their selling and hung up." Kuwabara said quickly as he said a short prayer that Shizuru would believe his lie.

"Well then who are you talking to up there?"

"..."

"Kazuma?"

"Umm, just Eikitchi. He was meowing at me like crazy for some reason."

"Are you sure your studying and not goofing off?"

"Of course! Because I, Kazuma Kuwabara, am a man who is devoted to his studies and will do whatever it takes to get the best grades he possibly can on his repor-"

"Your talking to one of your friends on the phone again aren't you?" Shizuru interrupted.

"...maybe..." Kuwabara's response was followed by the sound of his older sister thundering up the stairs. Oh boy he was in for it now. "Hey Keiko I gotta go now but I'll see what I can do about that guy ok bye!" Kuwabara said quickly as he slammed the phone down.

"Kazuma you know you're supposed to be studying!" Shizuru said as she slammed the door open.

"Geez, I'm sorry Shizuru, but my friend called and it was an emergency!" Kuwabara said as he sunk down in his chair.

"Well then why did you lie to me?" Shizuru asked angrily. "And you know you're not supposed to answer the phone while your studying!" Shizuru smacked her brother across the face and then threw him into the window. She calmed down a bit after that. "I need a cigarette." She muttered as she took out a cigarette and the lighter Sakiyo had given her. She put the cigarette in her mouth and inhaled and then gave a very long exhale. "You know I only do this because I want you to get into a good school and get a good job Kazuma." Shizuru started to walk out but then she stoppped. "That window is coming out of your allowance by the way."

Keiko sweat dropped and hoped that Shizuru hadn't been too tough on Kuwabara. She noticed that she had another new comment. It was from Koenma. It read:

"Good for you Keiko! You keep Yusuke in line! I can't have my spirit detective off partying and getting drunk. What if we needed him? Comment back please!"

Keiko was glad that someone agreed with her but she had to sweat drop at the fact that Koenma was making it very obvious that he was only commenting people to get comments in return. She didn't feel like commenting him now. She would get back to him later.
Out of boredom she went to Yusuke's Xanga. She saw that Koenma had left him a comment as well as that creepy Melvin guy. She shuddered. The one from Koenma read:

"Yusuke I can't believe you would be so irresponsible as to go out drinking. And risking both yours and Keiko's lives driving, which you dont really know how to do, in some car that could barely run. And don't be so hard on Keiko. She's only trying to help you. Comment me back please! -The Almighty Koenma Future Ruler of The Spirit World"

Keiko sweat dropped at the way Koenma had signed his name and then
went on to read Melvin's comment. It said, "W3ll if u don;t want ppl to judge joo den don;t right gay BlOg EnTrIeS. AnD YoU DonT NeEd 2 WoRrY aBoUt ur gf CuZ I was w/ her LaSt NiGhT."

Keiko was close to tears now. This guy was sooooooo creepy! She hoped that Yusuke didn't believe this guy's bullshit. She went to Melvin's page to see if Yusuke had commented back. He had. His comment read, "Listen Chubby McFatass, Keiko wouldn't do shit with you. You don't even know her or me so stfu (shut the fck up) And put a friggin shirt on in your profile picture and then go buy a bra, Jelly Jugs! You could poke someone's eye out on a cold day! Now leave me alone or I'll kick your stupid ass! Oh and leave Keiko alone too or else she'll bitch at me about how I should stick up for her."

Well at least Yusuke had stuck up for her kind of. Sort of. A little bit. Maybe. Not reallyish.

While all this was going on Hiei was wandering around Our-Groceries-Suck-Less-Than-That-Other-Stores-And-Our-Prices-Are-Lower-Too-Mart trying to find where the shampoo was. "Why does this place have to be so goddamn big?" Hiei wondered out loud. He wandered through row after row of items stocked on shelves. All that without change was enough to make a person go insane, and the white floor and ceiling weren't exactly helping. "This place needs signs to tell you where everything is." Hiei thought. He had failed to notice the signs above every aisle that said exactly what was in that aisle. Poor Hiei.

Finally after about ten minutes of searching and dodging annoyingly cheerful employees Hiei had reached his destination. He had found the shampoo isle, but, as fate would have it, there was yet another problem. He was facing a large shelf of shampoo and it looked as though there were hundreds of brands to choose from. He had no idea what Kurama used. He didn't really care to know, but he didn't want to pick out the wrong kind and have to do this all over again.
He thought about it for a moment. He sort of half remebered kind of in the back of his brainish thought that Kurama had said something about Herbal Essance shampoo. He searched through what seemed like thousands of shampoo bottles until he saw the one marked Herbal Essance. It was the last bottle. At the same time he reached out to grab it another hand grabbed it first. Hiei looked from the old, wrinkly hand, all the way to the face of the person of whom the hand belonged to. Did that make any sense? No, I didn't think so either.

"Hey!" Hiei exclaimed.

"Too bad for you!" The old woman said.

"Bitch!"

"Eat my boobies ya spiky-haired punk!" The old woman said before walking off to the counter to pay for her shampoo. Hiei was slightly stunned at the old woman's language but then quickly got over it and ran after the woman. When he had caught up to her and was about to reach out and grab the shampoo bottle from her she hit him over the head with her walker. He ignored the pain in his head and tackled the old woman, and wrestled her for the shampoo, but she wasn't going to give up that easily.

"RAPE!" The old lady shouted. Everyone within ten feet of Hiei and the old bag turned to look at them. Hiei happened to be in a very awkward position. Suddenly, Hiei found himself being wacked by several heavy purses and then an extremely overweight security guard who was munching on a donut, picked Hiei up off of the old lady and was about to throw him out of the store, but Hiei punched him in the face and made a break for it.

He searched every check out line until he found the old woman in the express lane. She was getting out her check book to pay for the shampoo when Hiei ran over there and grabbed the bottle of shampoo out of the checker girl's hand and ran to the nearest check out. Both the old woman and the check out girl were stunned. He ran to the nearest check out counter and quickly paid for the shampoo and left. He ran to Kurama's house, eager to be through with this. When he walked through the front door he found Kurama had collapsed on the couch and had a very blank and dead look in his eyes.

"What took you so long, Hiei?" Kurama asked as he leapt up from the couch. Hiei's eye started twitching. This kitsune had no idea what he had just been through. Hiei resisted the urge to strangle Kurama with his own hair and handed him the bottle of shampoo. Kurama took the bottle and immediately ran to the bathroom to go take a shower.

Hiei was suddenly overcome by the urge to go check his Xanga. He had no idea why, but he gave in to the impulse anyway. He remembered how Kurama had started up the computer and after a few minutes of trying he finally got to Xanga. He had no comments on his site but he didn't care. He didn't like people anyway. After browsing boredly through people's Xanga sites he came across Melvins. He looked at the comments and started reading. When he came across Yusuke's comment he frowned. At that moment Kurama appeared over his shoulder. His hair was looking much better and he was back to his normal non-OOC self.

"So not even the great Hiei Jaganeshi could resist the powers of addicting websites." Kurama said with a smile. Hiei decided to ignore this comment for the moment.

"Yusuke threatened this guy. Why is he not getting in trouble?"

"Well, because it's the internet. Hardly anyone takes threats over the internet seriously." Kurama said thoughtfully.

"So...you can threaten humans, make them fear you completely, but not get in any sort of trouble by the people of spirit world for it?"

"Well, Yes, I guess so, technically, but you still shouldn-" Kurama began but Hiei was listening. He was grinning quite evily. He could threaten humans and not get in trouble Oh the fun he was going to have.

Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of updates everyone! I was just really busy with everything and yeah.. thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! Well anyway, the next chapter is going to be the last and school starts in like two weeks so I'll try and have the chapter up sometime fairly soonish. Please review!