Yay! Update time! Sorry it took a little while. I have exams next week and for the first time, I'm actually studying for them haha. So, yeah there's that. And also, I realized something the other day. I haven't really mentioned iCarly like at all in this story. That will change, I promise. I haven't elaborated on the fact that they are still well known and iCarly as gone down as one of the most popular web shows of all time. This will be mentioned in future chapters. I just felt that I had to address that since this is an iCarly story and iCarly has barely been mentioned haha. Also, that moment between Freddie and Carly last chapter . . . yeah, that's long gone. I gave that to you guys cuz they have some rough road ahead of them. It's kinda of (not really but still) explained what happened by Alaynah. So enjoy the chapter! Oh, and THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! I will put your names up in the next chapter :)

I do not own iCarly.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

God, make it stop. I grabbed the pillow next to me and pushed it on top of my head until it hurt. I didn't want to go to school and to be honest, I didn't even know if I had to. It had been a couple days since I told my parents I was pregnant and they hadn't spoken to me since. My days consisted of silent breakfasts, silent lunches, and silent dinners, but even that was rare. I usually took my food up to my room and Kailey and I would watch That 70's Show together. I was so happy she didn't hate me. I mean, I didn't expect her to, seeing as how she was only eight and no matter how much I explained it to her, she would never understand how heavy the situation was. But I didn't care what she understood. She knew that it made me happy that she was happy and that was enough for her. But it didn't seem like anyone else wanted me to be happy. My parents didn't know what to say to me, so they just didn't. I didn't care if they yelled or screamed how mad they were at me. The silence was worse. I tried my best to stay in my room for the whole day but whenever I had to come out to go to the bathroom or eat, I would see the stares either of them gave me. As if they were disgusted by my presence. I didn't know if they actually felt like that, but since they weren't speaking to me, there was no way to for sure to tell. My mom wasn't as bad as my dad though. Whenever my dad had the opportunity to get out of the house he would and then he would take way too long doing the simplest things, like getting milk or gas. But I knew that had more to it than just me and my situation. He and my mom weren't talking either and I knew they had come to an all time low. I remember the night I told them and mom locked herself inside her bedroom. Shortly after, my dad went in there too. I had put my head up against the door and heard nothing. Silence. I figured if they weren't yelling, then they were making progress. But I guess I was wrong. They weren't getting better. They were getting worse.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The pillow had drowned out the alarm so much that I had actually thought it had stopped but as soon as I removed it, the beeping continued. I slammed the button that made it stop and contemplated getting up. I hadn't been to school since telling Shawn I was pregnant and I didn't want to face him. Although we didn't have any classes together anymore, a lot of the sophomore, junior, and senior classes are grouped together in the same hallways, so we always ran in to each other. It was awkward running in to each other when we were just broken up, but now that we both knew this secret, it was bound to be sufficiently more awkward.

"Alaynah!" Kailey called from the hallway.

I pulled the cover over my head.

"You're going to miss breakfast." She tried to open the door but I had locked it the night before. She tried a couple more times before she gave up.

I grabbed my phone to text Cassidy that I was going to skip school, but then I saw that I had a message.

1 new message

From: Shawn

My heart skipped a beat. He had told me to not ever bring my kid around him and told me he was going to make me do this on my own. Did he change his mind? I wanted to click read so badly but for some reason I was hesitant. If it said what I wanted it to say, my life would change. I could raise the baby and actually be happy. I didn't have to spend my whole high school experience being miserable and raising a kid by myself. I would have my boyfriend with me and we could raise it together. I smiled at the thought and clicked read.

dont tell any1 bout the kid. no 1 needs to no. I didnt even need no.

Wow, I thought. I shouldn't have assumed, I know, but anything that would make this situation better, I was open to. But the fact that I would've jumped back into Shawn's arms just like that was scary. He treated me terribly, walked out on me when he knocked me up, and now he had the nerve to act like he controlled me. I switched the lamp on my bedside table on a decided to get dressed. As much as I didn't want to go to school, I knew staying here and being miserable wasn't a better option. Besides, if I stayed home, Shawn would probably think he had won. He didn't.

As I was getting dressed, I realized something; my clothes didn't fit. I had always been a size 0 in jeans but now I could barely pull them up to my thighs no matter how hard I tried. I settled on a pair of yoga pants that were extremely tight, but wearable. I grabbed one of my dad's old shirts that he had given me a while back. Before I pulled it all the way down, I held it up so I could look at my stomach. As much as I didn't want to believe it, there was a baby in there. I mean, it wasn't a baby at this point, I knew that much, but I still felt some kind of connection to it. I put my hand over my stomach and gently rubbed it. I knew it probably looked weird, but this was my baby and I didn't care.

I made my way to the kitchen where my mom was pouring milk into a full bowl of cereal and handing it to Kailey. I didn't know if I was welcome to sit down, or even speak to my mom, so I stood by the counter to wait for her to speak to me. When she didn't, I tried.

"So, what's for dinner tonight, mom? I'm having a craving for ribs."

"I won't be home for dinner."

"Wait, what? Where are you going?" Kailey looked at our mother curiously as well.

"I'm going to Spencer's tonight. I haven't seen him since the shower and I just really need some family time." Her voice was strained and it was very apparent that she was exhausted, mentally, physically, and especially emotionally.

"But . . . we're your family."

She didn't say anything, she just continued to put dishes in the dishwasher.

"What are we supposed to eat?"

"Sam is going to pick you both up from school, you'll eat dinner with her, and by the time you guys are done, I should be home."

Throughout the entire conversation, I hadn't even realized that my dad wasn't in the kitchen; he wasn't even mentioned. "Where's dad?" For some reason, tears started welling up in my eyes. I hadn't spoken to my father since I told him I was pregnant, and even then we didn't talk. He just stormed right out of the house. I had only seen him a couple times within the last few days and even when I did, he didn't even look at me. He just finished up with whatever he was doing and left the house again. I didn't know where he went or how long he was going to be out, but wherever it was, it was away from me. And, unfortunately, I think he liked it that way.

"He, um, went to work, I think." She turned away when she said it. I knew she was fighting back tears just like I was. When she turned around and looked at me she said, "Allie, you need to eat. You can't go through periods of time of not eating. It's not healthy for you or the . . ." She pointed to my stomach.

"Baby." Kailey finished for her.

"Yeah, the baby." She handed me a banana. "Eat it on the bus."

We stood in front of each other just staring for a few moments. I wanted to reach out to her and hug her so much, but I knew she would back away from me. I didn't know how she felt, but I knew she was disappointed in me. That's one of the worst feelings you can get from a parent. They're not just mad at you, they're disappointed in you. They expected more from me, and to be honest, so did I, but I was stupid and careless. That's probably how they saw me now; a stupid, careless teenager.

"Speaking of the bus . . ." Kailey grabbed her bag that was by her feet at the sound of the horn. I grabbed mine as well while I headed toward the door. I looked back at my mom to say goodbye, but as soon as I did, the door to her bedroom slammed and locked, and it was followed by crying and lots of it. For a moment, I actually thought about skipping school, not matter what the consequences, to go and comfort my mother who seemed to have finally broken because of me. That thought brought tears to my eyes. But then I thought about the way she looked at me in the kitchen. She looked at me as if there was something wrong with me and she wished she could fix it. I knew the last person she wanted comforting her was me. Kailey yanked my arm once more before I closed the front door and headed to school.


"Auntie Sam!" Kailey squealed when she saw Sam's blue van pull up around the student pick up/drop off. I had waited in the elementary school cafeteria for Kailey for about an hour before her class let out, seeing as how elementary school gets out later than high school. While I was waiting I had exchanged a few texts with Shawn; unwanted texts, that is.

Shawn: what were r waring 2day?

Me: what do u mean?

Shawn: ppl r gonna no ur preggos if u dress like tht

Me: like wht?

Shawn: like nothing else fits u!

Me: nothing else does fit me shawn! weight gain is a part of pregnancy. U would no tht if u researched it

Shawn: y wuld I do tht? I dnt want 2 b apart of it. and I def dont want ppl thinkin I am

Me: …. Dnt ever talk 2 me again.

I was still recovering from the conversation. I just couldn't believe he had the nerve to try and tell me what to do.

"Hey, kiddos!" Sam said to us as we were climbing into the car.

"Hey Auntie Sam!" Kailey yelled again. We hadn't seen her in a while and Kailey absolutely loved her aunt. It's not that I didn't, it's just that Sam is a lot like my parents in that "over protective" way. She's not like my parents in any other sense, though. I'd much rather her be my parent than my own. She was way more laid back.

"Hey, sweetie. Hey, Al. How was school, guys?" She asked as she eased the car on the main road.

"Fine." I replied. I didn't know if my parents had told her yet. I had assumed not because she was still looking at me the same way she always did. If she knew, she'd look at me and be disgusted, just like my parents.

"It was awesome! I played games, and took a math test, and went to recess, and had pizza for lunch, and -"

"Whoa, slow down kiddo! You can tell me all of it when we sit down for dinner. That way I can focus more on you and not this idiot in front of me. THE LIGHT'S GREEN! GO, ALREADY!" She honked the horn more times than necessary but that's what made Sam . . . Sam.

When we arrived at her house, it was quiet. Kory was asleep on the couch with Joshua in his lap. I smiled at them, as did Sam. She made her way into the kitchen to pull out a snack for Kailey and I, while Kailey immediately went to Josh's room to play with his toys. I sat at the table, staring at Sam, not sure what to say.

"Auntie Sam?"

"Yeah?" She said while pulling out the condiments to make PB&J sandwiches, Kailey's favorite.

"Has mom told you?"

She looked at me for a moment, blinked a couple of times, but then turned back to her sandwich making. "Told me about what?"

I swallowed. "Please don't make me say again." My voice cracked as a tear escaped unwillingly. "I hate saying it."

When I looked up at her, I realized I wasn't the only one crying. There were tears streaming down her face at a fast pace. Kailey and I had always been like daughters to Sam and Kory and I figured she would be just as sad and disappointed in me as my parents were. She made her way around the counter to the table to sit next to me and placed my hands into hers. It was really odd seeing her emotional side. The only other time I had ever seen it was at her wedding and that was seven years ago. Sam, to me anyway, had always been the fun loving aunt that let you get away with anything that your parents wouldn't. To see her differently made my heart sink. I did that to her. I made her act like an adult. Although that wasn't a bad thing, the reason why she changed for this moment was.

"Alaynah . . . I don't really know what to say to you. It's a tough road ahead for you and I'm sorry you're in this situation."

I knew she had more to say than just that. So I dug deeper. "What did you say to my mom?"

"Well, I said that she needed to talk to you and hear you out instead of -"

"No, no, I meant what did you say when this happened to her? When she was sixteen."

"Oh." She drew her hands back and rubbed them against her jeans.

"What's wrong?"

She looked at me with her big blue eyes. I wonder what color my baby's eyes will be, I randomly wondered. "I shouldn't have said the things that I said to Carly when I found out. I was being a jerk." She got up and finished making the sandwiches. When she called Kailey, both her and Josh came running into the kitchen. They both took a sandwich.

"Josh, that's for Alaynah! You already had lunch earlier. You can have the applesauce." Sam told him sternly. It was weird seeing her act as a mom as well.

"But I want it!" She stomped his foot at her. He had already taken a bite out of his sandwich and he had jelly smothered around his mouth. I smiled at his cuteness. Kailey stared back and forth between them while enjoying her favorite meal.

"It's okay, Sam." I told her and then looked at Josh. "You can have it."

"Yay!"

"Let's go play fort." Kailey said to him and led him to the play room.

"You need to eat." Sam said to me.

"I'm not hungry."

"It doesn't matter."

"Wow, you sound just like mom."

"That's because we both know what we're talking about."

I fidgeted in my chair, getting a little uncomfortable. I had never had a serious one on one conversation with Sam before and I felt out of my element. But I didn't have anyone else to talk to. Kailey didn't understand, my mom didn't even want to talk to me, and as far as I knew, my dad had dropped off the face of the earth. "You never answered my question."

"What question?" She asked while trying to busy herself by washing dishes and putting the dry ones away.

"What did you say to my mom when you found out she was pregnant?"

She took a deep breath, continued with the dishes, and said, "I told her she was a slut and she didn't deserve to be blessed with a baby. But I was mad and I didn't mean the things I said. She had kept the pregnancy a secret from me for months and I was offended that she couldn't tell me, her best friend. But I didn't realize all of the stuff she was going through. At the time, I hadn't realized how much of a struggle it would be to have a baby. And she had tried to get the abortion and -"

"Wait . . . What!? She . . . tried to get an . . . an . . . abortion?" My heart kept racing and slowing down and I felt like I was having a heart attack but I didn't understand why. I felt as if I should've been happy that I knew this because now I wouldn't feel bad if I wanted to get one, which I didn't know if I did or not. It felt wrong to end someone's life because I ruined my own.

"I . . . Oh my gosh. I'm sorry, Alaynah! I thought you knew."

"No, don't be sorry. I'm glad you told me." I half smiled at her. She half smiled back but it dropped suddenly. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just . . . that's how Freddie found out. He saw the abortion clinic bill. If you have ever wondered why Freddie gets really touchy feely about Carly's pregnancy with you, that's why. He felt guilty and mad and every other emotion you could feel when your life changes forever."

I nodded, not really sure how to respond. I actually had wondered that, but I didn't feel like speaking, just listening.

"After that, she told me. I got pissed, but got over it. Then she told Spencer, then Ms. Benson, and pretty much everyone else after that. It wasn't easy for her and it won't be for you either, no matter what you choose."

I looked at her. She had finally ran out of dishes to mess with and was standing still, leaning against the counter, facing me. "Choose?"

She stared at me with a questioning look for a minute before replying. "You know, abortion, adoption, or keeping it."

"I can't raise a baby on my own at fifteen . . . can I?"

"Alaynah, you can do whatever you want. You're parents raised you to believe that, right?"

She was right. They did raise me to believe that, but when they did, I don't think they had being a single teen parent in mind when they said anything. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think I should do?"

She smiled a little, not looking at me but past me, as if she were remembering something. "It's funny. Your dad asked me the same thing when Carly was pregnant and he didn't know what the right thing for her was. It's amazing how things like that will repeat themselves."

She wasn't looking at me and I felt awkward just staring at her.

"But to answer your question . . . I can't. You're the only one that knows for sure."

I knew she was right, even though I didn't want her to be. For the first time in my life, I actually wanted someone to tell me what to do. It would make my life so much easier. But life, unfortunately, wasn't easy. I was learning that the hard way.


Carly's POV

The lights were off and I couldn't see the glass of water I had poured myself that was sitting on the table in front of me. I had a soft blanket wrapped around me and my feet were pulled up in the chair I was sitting in. I buried my head in between my knees, trying to tire myself out with all of the thinking I was doing (but trying not to). All that was going through my mind was Freddie. I didn't know where he was or when he was coming home, if he even was. The last thing I had said to him before he left this morning was telling him we needed more milk. It was impossible to have an emotional conversation with him for the past couple of days. The only time we ever did talk was when it was about a chore that had to be done around the house or a bill that needed to be paid. I missed the days where we would come home from work and as soon as we saw each other we would both talk at the same time because we were so eager to tell each other about our days. But that hadn't happened in years. I was very scared for our marriage. I felt alone and afraid. It didn't help that Alaynah was pregnant, either. I lifted my head up and wiped the tears that had escaped. I was so tired of crying but for some reason, I couldn't stop. No matter what the situation, I would break down. Maybe I was depressed, or maybe I was just getting older, which sucked either way.

As I was trying to find my water, the front door opened and I immediately grew excited. But Freddie didn't have long hair that flowed down past his shoulders. But Alaynah did, and that's who was walking through the door. When she closed the door back, the light from the full moon faded away and the room grew dark again and the only light came from the nightlight that Kailey insisted they keep in hallway a couple feet away.

"Alaynah, what are doing just coming in!? It's 1AM in the morning!" As mad as I was at her, I stayed wrapped in my blanket. I was too mentally and physically exhausted to get out of my chair. I didn't know why I couldn't fall asleep. Probably because I didn't know where my husband was, but that was just a hunch. "I thought you came home with Kailey after dinner with Sam."

"No, I didn't. Kory drove Kailey home but I stayed with Sam. I wanted to talk to her."

"About what?"

She sat down in the chair across from me. She looked so small, so thin. I sometimes forgot that she was a couple months pregnant. "What do you think mom? The only thing I have been able to think about."

"Don't you want to talk to me?"

"Of course I do! But every time I try you either change the subject or make up an excuse to why you can't."

I thought about it for a moment and realized she was right. "I'm sorry. I'm just . . . I'm going through a lot right now. And I know you are too but . . . Alaynah things are bad. I try to keep up a good front for Kailey but it's getting really hard." My voice cracked at the end. More tears ran down my face. I didn't bother wiping them away. They were probably just the first of many.

"Where's dad?" Alaynah asked.

I shrugged.

She nodded.

"He'll be back." I told her, not looking at her.

She nodded again.

"I'm disappointed in you, Alaynah." I said. I actually said it to her. I had probably said it before, I couldn't remember, but it felt different this time. I wasn't saying it to make her feel bad. I was saying it so she knew and so we could work forward from it. I didn't want to be mad at her anymore and I knew she wanted the same.

"I know. I'm sorry, mom." She started crying as well.

"So, um, what did you and Sam talk about?"

"My options."

I nodded. "And . . ."

"And I still don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, what should I do?" She was starting to panic and I saw her hands shaking on top of the table.

"I can't answer that."

"That's exactly what Sam said. She said only I know what is best for me."

"Referring to this situation, she's right. Your aunt is very smart." I smiled at the thought of my best friend.

"Mommy."

I looked at her. She hadn't called me "mommy" in years. Her face was buried in her hands and I could hear her weeping through her fingers. I couldn't take the sight of her breaking down, so I walked over to her, wrapped the blanket around her while it was still wrapped around me and walked over to the couch where we laid there in a little soft bundle.

"Mommy, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't think I can raise a baby on my own."

"Allie, there's no easy way out. No matter what you decide there's going to be consequences and you're going to have to deal with them."

"Okay."

I pulled her closer to my and laid her head against my chest, something I used to do when she had nightmares as a little girl and couldn't go back to sleep. It was strange to think that she would possibly be doing this in a few years when her toddler got scared and needed comfort. But I wasn't going to worry about that right now. I was going to fall asleep with my little girl in my arms, making sure she knows that I love her, and always will.

Awwwww! That was sweet! I need to get Sam and Spencer into this story more but I have so much stuff to cram in in every chapter. But i'll try to do it! Okay, so hope you enjoyed that chapter! I will try to update as soon as I can but I'm not making a specific date cuz I am pretty busy in the next few weeks but I'll see what I can do :) btw, did you guys see the lying game, pretty little liars, and switched at birth this week!? I died. All of my fav shows in two days! Ahh! hahaha okay anways, please review, and love yall !:)