Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer and I do not own the rights to the Twilight Saga, Life and Death, or any of the accouterments in the series.

Chapter 6 – Switzerland

When we got to the Cullens house it was to find an argument in full swing.

"Why did you even call him?" Royal snarled.

"The boy was Beau's friend, Royal," Archie responded just as angrily.

"He doesn't have a right to be concerned about the humans in his old life, anymore. That's one of the many perks of being a vampire."

Jules looked at me in shock at Royal's words.

"Enough," Carine said loudly.

I headed inside the house through the front door then, not wanting to give it a chance to start back up. Jules was right behind me.

"Exactly who was my friend?" I asked.

Everyone turned to look at me. Royal and Archie were standing toe to toe, both of their faces set in scowls – at least until Archie saw me, then his face relaxed... even as Royal's scowl became more pronounced. Eleanor was sitting on the couch and I was relatively sure that, if she'd been human, she would have been munching on a bowl of popcorn while they'd been arguing. Jessamine was leaning against the wall, and Carine and Earnest were further back, both of their postures concerned.

Edythe was the furthest from everyone and the guilt of what I'd agreed to with Julie as well as my secrets – I was more certain than ever – that I could never tell her, had me looking down and away from her almost immediately. After all, even Jules had seen it as being unforgivable.

Archie darted over to me almost immediately.

"About time you got here," he muttered surreptitiously.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking at Archie.

I could feel Jules at my back and I could sense Edythe staring at me. I refused to acknowledge either, because when it came to them I knew I was in a losing situation. I didn't love Jules and couldn't really be with her in spite of what I'd agreed to, and at the same time, I truly couldn't be with Edythe. Any hope I'd had that we could work it out had been snuffed out.

"We haven't been telling you about something going on Seattle, but..." Archie trailed off.

"I'm aware that there are newborns in Seattle. Jules told me."

Eleanor almost immediately did a little fist pump even as Jessamine's teeth came together. I looked between the two of them. I tried not to, but it was impossible for my eyes to not see where Edythe stood or the pained expression on her face as she looked at me... and more specifically at Jules who stood behind me. I looked down.

Thankfully, Archie decided to ask my question for me. "Do you two ever not gamble?"

"Nope," Eleanor stated proudly.

I shook my head, then focused back on Archie. "So, what about Seattle?"

Suddenly Archie, the one who'd called me, didn't know what to say. He looked away from me, looking at the other Cullens for a suggestion.

It was Royal that spoke up, finally. "Allen Weber has disappeared in Seattle."

My eyes snapped to him. Royal wasn't quite as coolly aloof as his voice would lead one to believe. He looked troubled – saddened even.

"What do you mean he's disappeared?"

Royal opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out, and then he suddenly shrugged and turned on his heel, quickly heading out the siding glass doors.

Eleanor got up. "I should follow him," she murmured and then she took off after him.

I blinked in confusion.

"He moved to Seattle this last winter after graduating early. I guess he hadn't called his dad in about a week, so his dad filed a missing person's report. There was an article in the Forks Forum today. He's officially listed as missing. It's possible – likely even – that he just ran off or something, but given what is happening in Seattle, there's another possibility."

The words quickly became a soft background. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I recognized it as Edythe telling me this, trying to be gentle about it... but they wouldn't have called me here if any of them believed that Allen had just decided to run away and join the circus or something.

"You think he's dead." I looked directly at Edythe, trying to get confirmation on what she was trying to tell me.

"It's possible..." Her words sounded doubtful.

"But that wouldn't make sense because the bodies have usually been found within a short amount of time. These newborn vampires aren't really trying to hide their handiwork," I mumbled the words, stewing over everything as I looked back down. If he'd gone missing over a week ago... then he shouldn't be missing anymore. My eyes snapped back up. "You think he's been turned?"

"It's a definite possibility," she said softly.

I turned to look at Archie. "Have you seen him?"

He grimaced. "No, but I'm also not at all attuned to him. He's just someone that went to Forks High School to me. And for the short time I was in school after you were turned but before we –" he broke off before throwing in "– well, you remember... I never really bothered to get to know him even then. It would have been suspicious for me to try so soon after your funeral before junior year was over – and by the time senior year started, he was very closed off from everyone. It was true that he still sat with his friends, but he barely talked to them... losing his mom was hard on him."

"So you don't know one way or the other for sure? Is that what I'm hearing?"

"Well, not exactly. I've been getting flickering visions since we first figured out what was going on in Seattle. None of the visions make much sense to me, a red shirt, a tall girl with long dirty blond hair that I can't focus on, someone screaming, maybe some sort of battle, maybe some sort of killing spree... There are so many different flickers, it's enough to give me a headache – and vampires aren't supposed to get headaches. Yesterday, I saw a really random flicker of you fighting a male vampire. I didn't think anything of it, at the time, the vision barely lasted a tenth of a second and it was very blurry. The vision could have been a hundred years into the future for all I knew. It didn't show much. It wasn't until we read the article about Allen being missing that I started to wonder if the vampire I'd seen hadn't been him." Archie sighed. "I'm not saying it was him, even. I'm just saying that it's a possibility... he looked somewhat similar, but between it being so blurry and the fact that I haven't seen him since last September – well I don't know if he's lost weight or what. I just can't be certain if it was him, or just someone who looked similar, not without more facts."

I shook my head adamantly as I took a step back. "I don't know what you saw, but I wouldn't fight a friend. I wouldn't." But wasn't that the other reason that I wasn't with Edythe even now? Because more than just being terrified of Edythe's possible hatred of me and afraid that my secrets being out in the open could cause the breakdown of the family unit.. I was petrified that I could just snap and become that monster at any moment and physically hurt one or more of the people I loved the most in the world. It was why I'd stayed with the wolves all this time, so I could learn to have a hundred percent control, a hundred percent of the time.

Jessamine cursed which caused me to look at her, though I instantly wished I hadn't, because she was staring at me intently. Her eyes were narrowed in what – I could only assume – was pain.

"There's no guarantee he'd even remember you," Archie said quickly. "Assuming it even was him that I saw. Like I said, I'm not sure that it was. My gift isn't a perfect art, and when it's as blurry as what I watched – even more so."

"But you're sure enough that you brought me here to warn me." My mouth shaped the words, and I was sure all the Cullens still in the room could see them perfectly, but there was no voice behind it. I couldn't remember how to breath, couldn't remember why I'd ever returned from Europe. I should have stayed where being a monster wouldn't harm the people I cared about.

I shook my head again and then I spun, racing around Jules and out the same door I originally came in. I'd felt Jules reach out to grab my arm, but I was past her before she got the chance.

I was in the forest line before I started to hear Jules' snarled words. "You really are stupid vampires. You have no idea what you just –"

And then I was out of hearing range, running as fast as I could, though I knew Jules would be able to find me. She'd know right where I'd go – she was the only one who would – and even though a part of me wanted it to be Edythe who'd find me... I knew it wouldn't be, because she never came.

I was standing at the edge of the cliff, looking out at the water. The water was turbulent, to the point of being deadly, at least for a human. Part of me wished I was still human, at least then I'd know what kind of a person that I really was. I'd know if I could ever trust myself with anyone. I'd thought I was getting there. In the six hunting trips I'd went on with Jules since I'd returned two months ago, she'd only had to hurt me the first two times... and the last time I'd hunted with her, I'd even been able to stop mid-hunt and redirect, but apparently it wasn't enough. Apparently I was just the monster after all.

"You going to jump?" The voice that called out wasn't Jules. I knew his strong masculine voice well, after all, he was the most stoic of my bodyguards.

I didn't turn to look. "Lee."

He stepped up right beside me. "It's an interesting thought, to jump, not for some sport, but to die. Trust me, there are days when – if it could kill either of us – I'd join you."

"You don't mean that." He'd never do that to his dad or his sister.

"Don't I?" His words were muttered darkly enough that I looked at him. "At least you have places you can run to, Beau. I don't have that. I could flee halfway around the world and even then... the first time I shifted I'd still be connected to those who know my shame. I'd still instantly hear the voice of someone in my head who knows I was too much of a freak to be the imprint to the woman I love. In fact I'm so much of a freak that I gave my mom a heart attack that killed her. My mom – who was able to walk by you without so much as flinching only a couple of weeks prior to that."

"Lee, it wasn't your fault. Your mother had a heart disease. It's pure luck that seeing me in Sam's house that one time didn't cause the same effect –"

He cut me off. "And if you were in my shoes, what would you believe?"

My mouth snapped shut.

There was deafening silence for a minute before I finally found my voice. "You should talk to Carine, Lee. I read the medical charts that your dad got from the doctors about your mom at Jules' insistence, but I'm not a medical professional. All of my knowledge is purely theoretical. Carine could explain it to you better than I can, but your mother was a... ticking time bomb, for lack of better words, anything could have caused her to pass away. The fact that she was there when both your sister and you shifted might have hastened her death, but she wouldn't have survived another six months, no matter what. She knew it too. That much I got from the charts for sure, the local doctor on the res had informed her of her condition, Lee. Perhaps if she'd wanted to go to a specialist or something, there might have been some sort of treatment out there, but Holly was a proud woman, and she wasn't getting any sort of treatment.

"I suspect – though I can't be certain, of course – that was why she wasn't afraid when she saw me that one time. It's hard to fear death when you already know it's coming for you." I looked back out at the ocean. "At least your mom got to find out you're destined for greatness. I know you love Sam, but perhaps the reason she imprinted on Elliott is because there's someone else out there for you. It seems, with your species especially, that destiny just has to have it's own way."

"Really? Then why are you a vampire, Beau?"

"I'm not Julie's imprint, Lee. In spite of the fact that she wants to believe it... I know that's wrong. I was always supposed to be a vampire."

"Then why are you with us instead of with the Cullens?"

"Because. It's safer."

"It's insane. I'd give anything to be with Sam again and here you are, with us, when your mate is in Forks. I'd almost understand it if you thought, as Julie did, that you were supposed to be her imprint, but you don't think that. So why are you so desperate to be away from the woman you love?"

"Because I can't be with her."

"According to who?"

"According to me." My fists clenched angrily. "My time alone in Europe taught me a lot about myself. I did a lot in my three weeks away – including the fact that I am willing to help torture and destroy a stranger – a vampire who I didn't know, who I hadn't really ever met." The words were out before I could have stopped them. I shook my head angrily. "And now I just found out that I'm apparently meant to get in a fight with someone who was once my friend. If I can do that type of stuff, then I could hurt the ones I love. I won't let myself be a threat to them."

"But you'll let yourself destroy Julie's life?"

"I wanted to leave two months ago, Lee."

"Then why haven't you?"

"Do you really want to be forced to join Sam's pack so she can chase me down? You know she'd do it. She's got to be the most stubborn person I've ever met."

"You're a vampire, there are plenty of places you could go that she couldn't follow."

"You're right. If I really wanted to hide, there are places I could go that she'd never find me. Mexico, China, back to Volterra... the bottom of the ocean. The thing is, she'd still try – she's the only one that would try – and if I was in one of those places... She'd be hurt. I won't be responsible for that. I won't. She's the one person that wants me enough to actually fight for me. That means something." I placed my hand over my chest. "Here. I can't explain it, fully, but I know Jules loves me and – though I don't feel the same – it does give me strength, hope. I don't exactly see all of you as family, it's not that strong, but I'd protect any one of you. I'd come to any of your aid. It's far too little, and far too late, but I need the atonement. And helping the pack gives me that."

He didn't say anything for a moment, and when he did, it wasn't what he was expecting. "Mixing love and devotion is a dangerous game, Beau." Lee looked backwards toward the forest. "Jules is coming for you now. Which means it's time for me to go." He gave me a sardonic smile before diving off of the cliff. When he hit the water, he wasn't in his human form any longer.

Moments later, hundreds of pieces of clothing landed on the water.

I wasn't a hundred percent certain what to make of the conversation we'd had, but perhaps there was more of a camaraderie between him and I than I'd originally believed.

"Beau!" Jules shouted loudly from a little ways into the the forest.

I turned to watch her approach.

As she reached me, I knew she could smell that Lee had been here, but she didn't comment on it. Instead she reached forward and took my hand.

"Come with me, I want to show you something."

We ended up at Charlie's house.

"Why are we here, Jules?"

"As you know, my mom has been spending a ton of time with your dad. Mom's a La Push elder, so we're naturally going to protect our own. It's usually Colette or Brandy assigned to be around when Bonnie is here, but occasionally I have Sarah do it, though she hates being given 'the baby job' per her words. Your dad went to La Push about two weeks ago on a day I had Sarah assigned to watch him, he went to Port Angeles and she followed. She told me what he was there for and what he got. I want you to see it for yourself."

She'd started claiming they were watching Bonnie, but I'd heard her slip when she admitted that Sarah had been watching him. I raised my eyebrow at her, but she ignored me and stepped over to my dad's cruiser. She opened the passenger door – unlocked, because this was Forks and no one was stupid enough to steal from the chief of police – and opened up the glove box. She grabbed something out and tossed it at me.

I caught it on reflex. In my hand a small dark purple, crushed velvet box. It looked like a jewelry box – the kind men spent fortunes on for their woman. I opened the lid hesitantly. Inside was a ring. It wasn't huge, a simple gold band a small diamond sent into a tear shaped casing, I was pretty sure it was called a pear cut.

"I don't know when he's planning to propose, Beau, but he definitely hasn't been seeing anyone other than my mom. If they get married, he'll be able to be treated as part of the tribe. He'll be able to find out what you are, he'll be able to be a part of your life again. He'll be Switzerland when it comes to the vamps, because he'll be protected by us."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, my voice was choked.

"To remind you that there are things to live for. To remind you that you deserve happiness." She was watching me, her jaw set stubbornly.

I shook my head, not in denial, but also not in agreement. Then I closed the box and handed it back to her so she could put it back in the car.

"I'll see you tomorrow and we'll go hunting together," she said as she stood in front of me at the cabin.

"Okay," I said softly – though it wasn't an agreement.

She took my hands and squeezed them once tightly before she stepped back and headed off to go home to sleep.

The instant she was out of sight, I went into the cabin.

I knew she wouldn't see me tomorrow, because I wasn't going to be here tomorrow. I put my cellphone on the cot, setting my laptop beside it. Then I picked my backpack up off the ground and pulled it onto my back.

My cellphone started to ring as I headed out the door. I knew if I headed back to the phone it would be Archie. He'd be the only one who would call right now.

I didn't go back to it.

The run to Seattle was easy, uneventful even, but when I made it to the train yard, separated by over a dozen rail tracks, I saw him.

"I'm surprised to see you here, Beau," he said from across the yard.

"Not as surprised as I am to see you."


AN: So, a quick note to my readers. I have created a blog called anewrebirth dot blogspot dot com (because FF does not allow me to post actual website addresses, please replace the words dot with an actual period to go there if you decide to check it out). This blog is going to post things like sneak peeks, teasers of future scenes, small tid bits too short to turn into missing moments, etc. It will also occasionally rec someone else's story, explain the inspirations behind my stories, show random bits and pieces of my old works, give hints on my future works, and more. There may also be some one-shots that will be solely posted on my blog.